


secrets

by seoktothegyu



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking to Cope, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Side - SungPil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:12:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 93,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23049850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoktothegyu/pseuds/seoktothegyu
Summary: Brian is the darling of Broadway and Jae is a famous Hollywood actor. They get photographed one time at a bar, plus, leaving the night club together and suddenly, everyone thinks they're dating.or, pretend dating au wherein jae and brian are forced to work together to achieve their dream roles while also struggling to get along in the process.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 267
Kudos: 326
Collections: Day6 OTPs





	1. i need another story, something to get off my chest

**Author's Note:**

> All the titles used (main & chapters) are from OneRepublic’s Secrets. Please excuse my limited knowledge of proper terminologies involving the performing arts in general.  
> Kudos/comments are greatly appreciated! 
> 
> If you came across this fic just now, please don’t hesitate to tell me what you think in the comments! :)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this story are either products of my imagination or are used fictitiously.
> 
> ps: Shoutout to my Nolingual Queens! 💛  
> twitter: @jaesbrivilege

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> set the scene, act one: they enjoy doing ad libs a little too much

2015, five years ago.

**_BREAKING: New hottie alert!_ **

_Newbie actor Jae Park, 22, lands the lead role for the highly-anticipated action movie of the year to be directed by the award-winning director Axel Greenfield! After months of rigorous auditions, the hunt for the last person to join the cast list of_ The Chase _has finally come to an end. Having moved to the City of Angels barely six months ago after living in Seoul, South Korea all his life, Jae is essentially the kind of protagonist that one would usually find in a romcom—a starry-eyed optimist who chooses to come to LA in the hopes of becoming famous. Now we all know how that trope often pans out. But not this time as it seems the cosmos have chosen their favorite as the Korean-American easily steals the role of_ Maximo Lim _._

_“When Jae Park walked in to audition, it just clicked.” The casting director shares to Silicon Valley Team. “It’s like we found a diamond in the rough. We just couldn’t let him walk away after giving us such a great performance like that.”_

_And while some critics are a little hesitant to have a newbie without much acting experience to back him up play such a big role, the casting director proudly assures the public that Jae Park will wow the audience with his performance when the movie hits the big screen this coming summer._

_Although it needed to be said, even if Jae doesn’t give us a good performance, we’re willing to look past that. SVTeam, have you seen how gorgeous he looks?!_

Brian can’t help but to lock his phone immediately, closing the online article after reading the last sentence.

As he shakes his head out of disappointment for yet another blatant display of looks mattering more than talent in Hollywood, he starts to feel a bit better about himself. He’s really glad he chose the more creative path in acting and pursued a career in the world of Broadway theater. He believes he’s not cut out for such a messy, twisted, and highly-debauched environment such as that of Hollywood’s, not that he ever wanted to be in one in the first place. All that drama, scandal, and toxicity are a far cry from the highly sophisticated—but with a dash of thinly veiled entitlement, Brian admits—world of musical theater.

Hollywood and Broadway, both seemingly similar but are arguably at opposite ends of the same spectrum. Both resembling the other in a lot of aspects but still somehow so different that the two worlds seldomly intersect.

As he’s had first-hand experience himself on how cruel the acting industry can be, Brian doesn’t want to judge this new guy at the scene right away. After all, Brian’s relatively new to the professional side of theater himself. But based on what he’s been reading and hearing so far, from articles like this and a few rumors through the grapevine, it’s becoming clearly evident that the guy only got the role because of his looks. He heard that a lot of other more experienced actors auditioned for the lead and got rejected just after one screen test with the already-chosen female lead. They either look too old or too young to play a twenty-one-year-old character on the big screen. Or they lack chemistry with the lead actress, looking quote-unquote “like they’re fit to be her brother more than her love interest”. Most of the feedback they got were comments on how the casting crew struggled to see Maximo Lim in them and none at all about how good they were at acting. But then all of a sudden, this new guy comes in and easily steals the show?

This Jae Park better be the god of performing arts reincarnate himself or some other deity cut from the same cloth if he were to supposedly beat everyone else; having “wowed” the casting director with his talents alone. That’s why it came as a surprise to a lot of people in the industry that Jae Park got chosen among all of those well-seasoned actors when he had zero previous roles to back him up with. And yet, somehow, the situation still got applauded when the guy barely had the chance to prove himself solely because of how _gorgeous_ he looks?

Brian can’t help but to compare the circumstances. Things like this rarely happen in the cutthroat world of Broadway. And on the off chance that it does, bad press follows after, not glowing news articles.

Now, normally, Brian doesn’t involve himself much with Hollywood gossips and affairs. If he’s being honest, the only reason he cares so much about this particular news is because he’s been in a mood lately. You see, singing and acting are his passion in life so, naturally, he decided to make a career out of it. Earning money after performing? Killing two birds with one stone. Brian couldn’t be happier with his current disposition in life.

These days, however, he feels a little on edge because he’s about to audition for the lead in a play written by a famous playwright and in cooperation with a highly respected composer of musicals. In two months, he’ll stand on stage while two of his idols—his _heroes_ —watch and evaluate every move he made, every emotion conveyed, and every note sustained. He has been trying to grow his career as a musical actor ever since sophomore year in college and while he has been steadily gaining progress joining play after play, the only roles he has ever landed are either being a part of the entire ensemble or playing a supporting role at best.

This coming audition is the very first time his manager successfully got him listed in consideration for a leading role. He genuinely believes that in order for him to make a name for himself in this brutal world, he has to work exceptionally hard. Harder than his colleagues. And harder than everyone he knows in the industry. His mantra is to always be better than the person he was the day before. He believes that the day he lets himself stop improving is the day the passion burning in his heart will fizzle out, leaving an empty, hollow, and endless pit in its wake.

So that’s what he’s been doing so far in his relatively young career.

Because of his perseverance and will to improve, going to numerous acting classes taught by renowned coaches, and vocal trainings taking up most of his weekly schedule, he’s proud that he has gotten himself to where he is now. He just turned the legal age of twenty-one but already he had more credentials than some of the older actors in the industry. He feels like he’s _earned_ his place for that.

That’s why it just irks him so damn much to hear stories about other actors getting a free ride just because of their looks. Not that Brian would ever admit to thinking that Jae Park is even _remotely_ good-looking.

So, yes. Brian reasons that it’s understandable for him to immediately write off this Jae Park guy as “just another one of those fresh handsome guys in Hollywood”. Impactful enough to cause a stir from the general public but, Brian assumes, is just as forgettable as the last “hot newbie actor” that came before him.

As Brian checks the clock on the opposite wall of the studio for what feels like the hundredth time, he releases another heavy puff of breath. Their workshop session is supposed to start ten minutes ago but, as the acting coach informed them earlier, the last actor to join their class will be running a bit late and that they have to wait for him.

Here’s another thing Brian hates about Hollywood, having connections gets you just about anywhere in that industry.

Apparently, the manager of said late student is a close friend of their acting coach.

 _So, we’re just supposed to wait around for this guy to show up? Who does he think he is? Wasting our time as if it matters less than theirs? Bullshit._ One could say that Brian is finding a hard time trying to stay positive and cheery lately.

So here he is now, facing his bored and impatient reflection on the wall full of mirrors while slumped on the floor of the studio a few spaces away from the other actors. Not that he’s a brooding and reclusive theater actor as the stereotype suggests, it’s just that he feels a little out of place because all of the other students are aspiring _movie_ actors.

He initially hesitated to enroll to this class but since the coach is famous for her powerful subtleties, and small but gripping expressions without needing to be loud and obvious—something that Brian feels he needs to improve on if he wants to land that lead role—he ultimately asked his manager to get him included in the class list. He wanted to be taught by her so badly that he chose to stay for a month in LA where the workshop takes place and flew in all the way from New York. After all, not everyone can proudly say that the great Louise Jung taught them.

Fortunately, after a couple more minutes of mind-numbing wait, Brian hears the late student first before actually seeing them. The door to the studio has barely been opened when they all hear someone muttering out one apology after another.

“…I’m _so_ sorry for being late, coach Jung. I know Sungjin already told you the reason why but please, let me apologize personally. I know how much of an honor it is to be taught by you; I swear I’m not a slacker. This is just a one-time thing.” The guy kept bowing profusely to their coach, head hung low and face hidden from the rest of the students as if out of shame; a combination of gestures that Brian knows all too well, something that already says a lot of the former’s roots.

 _Yeah, you better apologize. And you’re in America now, dude. People here don’t do those type of things._ Brian comments to himself as his ears pick up on the smooth and easy American accent of the guy. He’s a little curious why the fluent and comfortable lilt of the newcomer’s tongue around the English words contradict the mannerisms that he’s been showing as he shrinks a little into himself, bowing almost at a 90-degree angle.

Coach Jung is quick to reassure him though as she reaches a hand out to gently pat him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. How about you take a seat with the others as I start the class.”

Just when Brian thought his mood couldn’t get worse, the universe has a funny way of proving him wrong.

 _Speaking of slackers…_ Brian snorts out of annoyance as he sees that the late student is none other than Jae fucking Park himself, approaching to take a seat at the empty space beside the theater actor.

And just like that, Brian is no longer looking forward to all of their future sessions.

 _Of course, he’s also late on the first day… god, how unprofessional!_ He groans internally, already dreading the next four weeks, hoping to limit their interactions to just them acting together on a scene and nothing more. _He won’t last long in this industry. Hollywood will eat him up._

“Hey, man.” Jae greets him, easy and friendly as he makes himself comfortable on the floor beside Brian, sitting a little too close that their knees are almost touching. “I’m Jae.”

The muscles on Brian’s shoulders tense at the unexpected proximity. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jae looking at him, waiting and expectant. But since Brian is feeling a little miffed to even bother coming up with a response, much less acknowledging him, he hopes the older will just conclude that he didn’t hear him as Brian maintains his gaze at coach Jung. Looking as if he's attentively waiting for her to finally start the class.

Thankfully, Brian has not been kept waiting for longer as she calls to them, “Alright, can we please form a circle in the middle of the room?”

All twelve of them obediently did as they’re told, finding their own place within the circle.

Brian is happy to notice that, since they moved from their earlier position resting against the far wall, when Jae goes back to take his place beside the former again, there is now a considerable amount of space between them. He notices this yet not once did he ever purposely looked in the general direction of the other actor.

Brian swears he’s not usually this petty. There’s just something about the guy beside him that makes Brian react so strongly. He blames the article for inciting such reactions from him.

Of course, he isn’t too proud to admit that he’s probably being unfair and just redirecting his bottled-up frustrations and nervousness about the audition towards Jae Park, the poor victim. On a good day, he would even feel bad for the guy because of the way Brian outright ignored him. He is usually not one to judge a person solely based on what other people are saying behind their back. But since these days haven’t been good, as he’s being riddled with crippling anxiety and fear, it felt comforting to direct all of that energy to something else—or in this case, someone else—other than obsessing over the audition for once.

Also, the fact that they all had to wait for Jae is so not helping with Brian’s already rocky impression of him.

_Does Jae even know how many actors would want to be in his shoes right now? Ungrateful._

See, Brian is big on being professional and sticking to commitments. As someone who gives his all to every role he plays—time, energy, and even going as far as breaking up with an ex-boyfriend after getting cast in a role because he didn’t want to be distracted—the fact that Jae, a newbie actor no less, can’t even appear on the dot and basically wasted fifteen minutes of their time is offensive to the theater actor on so many levels. (Which is what Brian justified himself with so he wouldn’t feel _that_ bad about ignoring the older.)

“Thank you.” Coach Jung curtly tells them before continuing. “We’ll do a little introduction to break the ice. I’d like for you all to at least get to know the other students here. Try to get comfortable with each other because you’re all going to be acting together on scripted and impromptu scenes for the next four weeks. Understood?” She gets greeted with doe-eyed stares and eager nods of agreement from her students. “Alrighty then, I’ll start.”

She takes a seat with them on the floor, becoming a part of the circle and giving the impression that, at least for the first part of their session, they’re all equals here. Brian feels his tense posture loosen up a little as he appreciates the coach’s subtle effort to try to get them to feel comfortable with her, help them get over being starstruck and intimidated.

“As you all know, I’m Louise Jung, former Hollywood actress and now an acting coach. So, how am I as a teacher you may ask? I’d like to think that I’m cool, pretty chill, and not so strict unlike what past articles would have you believe.” She shares with a friendly smile, causing most of the students to loosen up as well as they give her bright smiles in return. “Ever since I decided to teach four years ago, I felt like I have found my element. I just appreciate acting in its most basic aspect and so I wanted to help young aspiring actors fuel the burning passion within their hearts, guide you on how to flourish your own love for the performing arts. I was reviewing your professional backgrounds earlier and I couldn’t help but to feel excited for our future sessions. I look forward to seeking and bringing out the potential in all of you.”

There’s a quick and polite round of applause, which she waves off modestly, before encouraging, “Now, who wants to go next?”

The other actors’ eyes suddenly avoid the coach’s expectant ones as they look around the circle, waiting for someone else to go before them. There is a beat of awkward silence as they all waited.

 _Have I suddenly transported myself back to high school?_ Brian stops himself from rolling his eyes in slight exasperation, wanting to get this introduction over with so that they could finally get to the thing that he came here for—the actual lessons.

He’s eager to talk first because he has learned early on that, aside from being incredibly talented, having the right amount of confidence gets you to a lot of places in theater. Plus, he figures it will leave him a good impression to coach Jung if he takes the initiative, make the proverbial first step, so to speak. He doesn’t stand to lose anything in speaking up anyway.

“I’ll go.” Brian starts but is surprised to hear that he wasn’t the only one who spoke up.

Following the direction of the voice that echoed his words, his gaze lands on the person sitting comfortably next to him, Jae fucking Park himself.

“Seems like we have two volunteers,” coach Jung notes pleasantly. Cocking a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at the two, she gives them a subtly proud smile, her calculating eyes holding a glint in them.

As Brian catches the satisfied look coach Jung threw at them, he can’t help feeling as if him and Jae just passed a test that they didn’t even know they were taking. As if, judging by the calculating stare, she already tried to gauge how well these two will fare in a scene.

 _So, was the friendly intro just a ruse? She wanted us to get comfortable so she can freely assess how we carry ourselves as actors?_ But instead of feeling scared by such a small but cunning tactic, Brian is floored. It’s the kind of tough love treatment that he’s used to being given by his seniors in Broadway.

Distracted, Brian almost flinches when he feels long, slender fingers on his knee as Jae gives him a light tap before saying, “Because I was late, I feel it’s only fair that I volunteer myself as the sacrificial lamb, don’t you think?”

Since Brian doesn’t want to argue with the other, his mind too busy trying to reevaluate and anticipate coach Jung’s teaching methods, he gestures the floor to Jae. “Go ahead.”

Jae acknowledges this with a nod before starting, “Nice to meet everyone here. So, um, I’m Jae Park.” He pauses, noticing the sudden look of recognition pass most of the other actors’ faces. “You probably read somewhere that I’m going to play Maximo Lim in a movie called _The Chase_. I actually decided to take this class to be able to prepare for that role. Honestly speaking, I’m incredibly nervous about it so, I’m humbly asking for your support when it hits the theaters this summer.” He puts on a charming smile as he finishes.

 _You’ll need more help than this class to be able to do well with that, new guy…_ Brian snorts out loud as he criticizes the older in his head.

At the sudden silence that fell in the studio, he didn’t realize at first that everyone heard him and are now looking at him curiously for giving such a rude reaction.

“Do you have something to say to me, dude?” Jae asks him, frowning and looking slightly offended.

Brian feels his face get warm as a blush spreads across his cheeks. Embarrassment takes up his entire features but since he’s a good actor, he meets Jae’s eyes head-on as he replies, “Nothing, man, sorry. Anyways, uh, I guess it’s my turn.” He adds to quickly change the subject. In the blink of an eye, he composes himself, throwing on an easy smile as if his slip-up didn’t happen.

“Hi, guys, I’m Brian Kang. Unlike most of you, I’m a theater actor—mostly Broadway. I took this class because in two months, I’m going to audition for the lead role in a play written by the famous Sir Thomas Walker.”

The other actors greet him with wishes of good luck.

“Thomas Walker?” Coach Jung repeats. “I go to the same spinning class with his wife! I can put in a good word for you, if you’d like?”

This time, since he got a good read on their coach, Brian sees right through the suggestion as he confidently replies, “It would be an honor. But with all due respect, coach Jung, I think it would feel more rewarding if or when I got accepted solely because of my talents. Along with my previous acting experiences, of course, unlike _some_ people.” He can’t help but to add the last part with a little emphasis as a slight dig.

(Brian can be _really_ petty sometimes.)

Coach Jung gives another pleased look at his response. “I admire your dedication, Brian.” She tells him.

Brian doesn’t hold back the triumphant smile from taking over his face. He honestly feels like he’s won the lottery; that’s how much winning over _the_ legendary acting coach Louise Jung’s opinion means to him.

The rest of the introduction runs smoothly after that. Brian has actively been listening to the other students’ professional history—some did a lot of commercials and music videos, a few extras and supporting roles in highly produced films, and others are more focused on appearing in television dramas—when he feels the heavy weight of someone’s gaze lands on him.

As he meets Jae’s eyes again, he sees the actor, clear as day, giving him a calculating look. It’s different from the one coach Jung gave them earlier as this one held more wariness and… dare he say, rude appraisal? Jae isn’t looking at him to try to study his acting potential, he’s downright looking at Brian as if to size him up.

In response, Brian raises an eyebrow at him, asking a silent question. But instead of answering, Jae just stares at him some more. His eyes slowly pan from Brian’s head to toe, the classic “entitled rich lady judging the low-class commoner in the room” kind of look.

At the resulting blush dusting the theater actor’s ears due to embarrassment from the unabashed gaze, Jae’s lips stretch into an infuriatingly cocky smirk before finally looking away. Brian wants nothing more than to wipe that look right off the older's face.

He is insulted to say the least. He can’t help but feel as if he’s being evaluated, and definitely not in a good way.

 _The nerve to blatantly give me a judging look like that? Who the fuck does he think he is?!_ Brian feels affronted. He would have done or said something to confront the other but unfortunately, time really isn’t on his side because their coach announces that it’s time for the first exercise. He’ll have to deal with this later.

Throughout the rest of the session, Brian and Jae have been throwing subtle challenging and unimpressed looks the other’s way. They have unanimously started a not-so-friendly game among themselves to outdo and out-act the other in every scene, thus, begins the quiet competition between the two actors. One small sharp look shared between the two of them sparking such a fierce rivalry that will last the entirety of their acting workshop.

Their antics were mostly harmless. Throwing goading looks to the other after performing well in an acting exercise, the first to pinpoint the other’s mistake, no matter how small it was—timing, messing up his lines, and even trying to distract each other while being on a scene.

Another instance is when, during the end of the first week, they competed to see who could befriend the most of the other students. It started when Jae made a remark to the class after being told that he did well in a scene with five other actors, saying, “It’s nothing, really. Just a product of having a lot of fun acting with your colleagues. Especially when they’re all nice and _so welcoming_ to someone who’s new to the industry like me. Honestly, you’re all like, friends to me already.”

So, in retaliation, Brian asks most of their classmates for coffee after their session the following week.

“I would have invited Jae along,” he shares to the rest of them as if regretful when he gave the invitation during their fifteen-minute break. “But I heard that he has a meeting with his manager. Right, Jae?”

Brian gives Jae an innocent look, but on the inside, he’s already grinning like the damn Cheshire cat. He could have invited the other actors without letting Jae know but honestly, Brian wants to rub it in because he knows that Jae can’t get out of the appointment.

At the beginning of class, he overheard Jae talking to his manager on the phone about having to meet with their company executives. Immediately, the theater actor found it to be the perfect opportunity to invite the entire class to hang out the same time Jae leaves for the day.

“Yeah, too bad. But try not to have too much fun without me though!” Jae jokes but Brian could see the steely gaze thrown his way.

Brian obviously won that round because their coffee hang was a success.

But Jae is not one to give up easily.

The third week of class, they had to act out an exceptionally tragic scene. For the first time ever, Brian and Jae got to act in a scene alone together. They have already performed before but it was always with the other actors, never just the two of them. So, one can safely guess just how that scene turned out.

As Brian is busy internalizing his lines and emotions, he feels someone press against his back, the smell of expensive perfume with a hint of vanilla invading his personal space. He didn’t even have to turn his head sideways to know who it already was.

“What do you want?” Brian asks curtly, his eyes staying glued to the script.

Jae leans further against Brian’s side. He was now stood so close the theater actor could practically feel Jae’s breaths ghost past his cheek.

“Nothing,” Jae shrugs. His voice got lower and quieter as he continues, “I just wanted to wish you good luck on our scene… Kang Younghyun-ie.”

Upon hearing his birthname, Brian’s head whips to look at the other actor. Except he didn’t realize just how close they stood as the tip of his nose brushes against Jae’s cheek. Surprised, he moves to immediately distance himself from Jae.

“How did you know my name?” He demands while still trying to keep his voice quiet. When he started actively pursuing his career, right off the bat he told his manager that he wanted to keep his private and professional lives separate. So, his real name and other personal details about himself were never posted on his talent agency’s website nor any of the casting lists for each of his roles. That is why it came as a surprise to him that Jae knew about it.

But instead of answering his question, Jae merely gives him a wink before walking away.

Brian is left reeling well past the exchange, resulting into him missing some of his cues and forgetting lines during the scene. And after they wrap, as coach Jung compliments Jae on a job well done followed by giving Brian some constructive criticism, he realizes that that was Jae fucking Park’s plan all along. To distract him so he wouldn’t do as well as he should with the scene. _That bastard._

However, until then, this competition between them still remained arguably harmless. Petty, sure, but definitely harmless. That is, until the last session of the workshop came around that they kind of took things a little too far.

Brian thought that they were being discreet with their rivalry so it shocked him that, not only have coach Jung known about it all this time, but she is actually using it now to teach them both a lesson. In the long run, it’s probably beneficial for both of their careers but at the moment, Brian didn’t care as he finds himself once again questioning why he took this class in the first place.

They get paired to act in a scene together for the second time. But instead of a tragic scene like the last time, the scenario for this is even worse. Much, much worse.

“Alright.” Coach Jung starts, clapping her hands a few times to get their attention. “Now, there’s a reason why I didn’t just randomly pair you off with each other for this last exercise. In acting, chemistry is everything. Sure, you may be good friends with your costars when the cameras aren’t rolling but how well do you bounce off of each other in a scene? For Stella and Grace,” she gestures to the two older actors standing closest to her, “since I know that you’ve both been close friends for years, I want to see you two act-out a scene where you’re rivals. Make me believe that you genuinely hate each other’s guts.”

“Yes, coach Jung.” Stella and Grace chorus.

“Patrick and José, since you’re our resident class clowns, I want you to act as psycho criminals running from the law together. Be creative but realistic, okay?”

“You got it, coach.” Patrick responds with José nodding in agreement.

“And lastly, Brian and Jae,” she turns her gaze towards the two, her voice adapting a brighter tone. The sudden excited glint in her eyes scares the shit out of Brian. He already knows he wouldn’t like where this is going. “Since you have this rivalry going on,” Brian gulps. Beside him, he sees Jae’s posture stiffen at the coach’s words. “You two will be acting out a romantic scene. Channel all that energy and strong feelings towards the other to create something sweet and beautiful. Understood?”

“Understood.” They mutter, looking anywhere but at their coach’s satisfied look. They feel slightly called out and exposed.

“Good. I’ll need a volunteer to film each scene for evaluation. The first pair will start in ten minutes.”

Several minutes have already passed since then but Brian and Jae still had nothing done. They ignore the noise of the rest of the class brainstorming as the two of them are too immersed in their own predicament. Both of them have great ideas on what kind of scene they want to do but neither are willing to compromise. Brian believes that his idea is more impactful while Jae thinks his is sweeter and more romantic.

“What’s so impactful about love at first sight?” Jae questions him for what feels like the thousandth time. “When two people meet for the first time, it’s awkward and shy, not fireworks and confetti. Be realistic, Brian.”

Brian scoffs. “As if yours is any better.”

“That’s because it is!” Jae argues, his voice raising a little out of frustration. He hates that they’re wasting their time going back and forth like this. “She wanted something sweet and beautiful. Thus, a reunion scene for a couple who’s been apart for months.”

“I just don’t think we’ll have much going on with that storyline to last for the whole five-minute requirement.” Brian reasons. He admits, Jae’s idea does fit the description of what coach Jung wanted more than his does but he isn’t going to give in without a fight that easily. “Sure, we’ll reunite, cry, then tell sappy things to each other. But that’s it, the end.”

“It doesn’t just end there—look, just…” Jae pauses, looking at Brian directly and giving him a meaningful gaze. “I know that we don’t really like each other but seriously, Brian, since it’s the last day, follow my lead for once. If we do it properly, I genuinely believe that coach will love it. And if she doesn’t… well, we won’t see each other again after this anyway. What’s there to lose, right? Just,” he pauses once more, releasing a heavy breath as if it pains him to continue. “Please, Brian. Trust me on this.”

Brian doesn’t say anything right away as he considers his options. Can he trust Jae to properly commit to the scene? He did seem like he hated asking Brian for anything but still did it for the sake of his idea. But what if that’s just a front to trick Brian into making a fool of himself? Although, as he studies Jae’s face once more, sees the earnest look in his eyes, call Brian crazy but he thinks Jae might actually lead them to the right direction with this one.

“One minute, guys.” They hear the coach announce to the whole class.

Brian sighs. “Fine. But this better not bite me in the ass.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Jae responds, face lit up with a smile.

Brian has half a mind to notice that this is probably the first time in a month the older has looked at him like that—devoid of malice and any untoward emotions. He’s not so sure how he feels about this discovery.

“Let’s set the scene with you waiting for me at the airport.” Jae instructs as the first pair gets ready to perform. Their turn is immediately right after the former.

“Got it.” Brian nods. “Like you said, I’ll just follow your lead.”

“That was enlightening, Jake and Megan.” Coach Jung comments after the two wrapped the scene. They performed as a couple going through a divorce. “I liked the pain you made everyone feel when signing the papers so props to you on that one. However, I also wanted to see some lingering mutual longing, you know what I mean? Like, sure, you’re divorced now but the feelings don’t just stop after that. Details, guys. Give me details. Staring at your wedding ring for a few moments before taking it off for the last time, contemplating on whether or not it’s too early to change each other’s contact names, those sorts of things. But still, overall, I liked the scene. Good job.”

“Thank you, coach.” Jake and Megan high-five each other before stepping away from the makeshift stage at the center of the studio—it’s actually less of a stage and more of large circular mat laid out on the floor than anything else.

“Next up, Brian and Jae.”

As Brian takes his position at the center of the room, Jae announces to the class, “Can everyone please stand on the opposite wall right over there? We’re starting off the scene as me and Brian reuniting at an airport. I kinda need space to move around if I were to tackle this handsome man right here.” He jokes at the last part, sending a playful wink to their audience.

The other actors, along with their coach, follow his instruction, sporting amused smiles and looking like Jae’s words piqued their interests.

Brian has to give it to Jae; he sure does know how to charm his way into things.

“…and we’re rolling.” Their classmate who volunteered to film announces. “Timer starts in three, two, one.”

When their eyes meet again, with Jae holding a few bags as props and standing in his position by the door, he sees the older giving him a subtle nod. Brian then admires the way Jae’s face transforms into one that makes him look like a nervous wreck about to see the love of his life after being apart for a long time.

 _Okay, so we’re starting…_ Brian notes before quickly schooling his expressions to that of hope and barely-contained excitement. As if Jae is his husband who’s a soldier finally coming home from war.

They hold each other’s gazes as Jae, slowly but surely, moves closer towards Brian, dropping his bags along the way as his eyes zero in on the younger. As they’re stood about a meter apart, Brian waits for Jae’s next move as he stands there, frozen, anticipating, and staying true to his character.

He studies Jae’s expressions closely and when something shifts (it was so subtle that if he wasn’t directly watching the older, he would have missed it), Jae’s face is now adapting a shy and timid look. He notices how Jae’s frame slightly shrinks into himself, looking more gangly, awkward and insecure as he suddenly avoids Brian’s searching eyes.

In an instant, Brian easily understands which direction Jae is leading the narration, knows what he’s trying to say just as clear as when Jae would have said it to him out loud.

The theater actor then makes a move to take a step closer but, at the last second, he hesitates against it. As if he wants nothing more than to close that distance between them but is uncertain how to act because they’ve been apart for so long that he’s afraid they’ve lost their rhythm.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees coach Jung giving an approving nod.

“I missed you—”, “How was your flight?”

They say at the same time.

And even though they can’t force a real blush to warm their faces, they do their best to make-do as Jae once again avoids his eyes, laughing while trying and failing to make it sound casual. And Brian fidgets with his hands, not knowing what to do with them.

Their story goes like this: they’re making their reunion as if it’s shy and awkward to try to convey that, for months, they only ever saw the other through the small screen of a computer. And while their bantering and bickering remained the same, on days when they would miss each other the most, the dull ache of longing gripping their hearts a little tighter, they avoid letting the conversation stray into something deeper. They figured that those short few minutes they get to have together is too precious to be wasted away on crying over something they can’t control. They thought that they can just wallow in their longing for the other after the call ends. So, seeing each other again in person, they’re in this weird uncertainty of not knowing where they stand. Do they continue where they left off a year ago? Or do they have to work to get back to that level of intimacy and closeness like the last time?

“You go first, babe.” Brian prompts, throwing him a slight encouraging smile, his hand trying to reach the other before dropping back to his side.

He sees Jae take a deep breath first before repeating, “I missed you, Brian.” And because he realizes that it’s still the same Brian he fell in love with, he straightens up as if mustering enough courage to add, “So much.” He says with a breath, his shoulders sagging as if saying those words lifted a heavy weight off his chest.

The moment Jae’s eyes lift back to his, Brian transforms his stance. His eyes start to shine as he finally takes that one small step closer, hears Jae make a small noise out of surprise from the sudden action. “Oh, get over here already!” And in the next second, he envelops the older in his arms. Because, even though a few thousand miles have kept them apart, he realizes how ridiculous they’re being, letting something trivial such as shyness to stop them from finally holding the other.

“I missed you so much, too, Jae.” He whispers against the crook of the older’s neck.

At his admission, Jae tightens his hold around Brian’s body, his hands turning into fists as he grips the younger’s shirt.

Something wet touches the skin at Brian’s temple, realizing a beat later that Jae started tearing up. Not one to be left behind, after all, partner or not, Jae is still his self-proclaimed rival in this class so, naturally, Brian amps up the acting.

He pulls away a little, cupping Jae’s face in his hands as he wipes at those few stray tears on the older’s cheeks. He lets himself start to tear up as well, eyes still shining bright.

“Why are you crying, baby?” He croons, smiling fondly.

 _Not bad, Jae Park._ Brian relents in his head. _Not so bad at all._

Jae leans into the touch, turning his head sideways to place a soft kiss on Brian’s palm before saying, “God, I’m so whipped for you, it’s embarrassing.”

Brian lets out a soft, delighted laugh.

Later on (much, much later), when Brian's back home in New York, he might admit that he enjoys doing ad libs a little too much especially as a last hurrah when he finds himself uttering, “Not as embarrassing as kissing in a crowded airport though…”

Brian has an inkling that the sudden confused look on Jae’s face is as genuine as can be. “Babe, what are you—”

But Brian doesn’t let him finish as he crashes his lips against the older for the first time. Under his fingers, he feels Jae stiffen, not at all expecting the sudden direction Brian decided to lead them in. Brian isn’t going to lie; he feels satisfaction completely flooding his chest at having to take this quick-witted, often sharp-tongued, and confidently charming man completely off-guard. He forgets for a moment that they’re supposed to work together here as he prays that Jae would take too long to recover from the shock so Brian can carry the scene all by himself.

Even at the very last day, winning over the older is still the first thing on his mind.

But because he’s Jae, ever so stubborn and competitive Jae, he would never permit himself to lose to the theater actor.

Keeping his expressions in check, Jae closes his eyes and relaxes under Brian’s touch. He wraps his fingers around the younger’s nape, titling the latter’s face as Jae deepens the kiss. It’s wet, needy, and messy, as if entirely full of longing and uncaring at all to what they look like from an outsider’s perspective.

Somewhere in the room, Brian hears a distant ringing sound but it’s so out of focus that he pays no mind to it as he remains fully immersed into the scene. He reasons that if he’s the first one to pull away, that means that he’s bothered by this whole exchange. That somehow, he’s letting Jae win this round to see how far they're both willing to go.

Brian sighs into the kiss to convey his character’s relief of having his lover back in his arms like this. He easily places his hand on the curve of the older’s hips, acting like the touch is nothing but familiar and comforting.

In response, Jae cards his finger’s through Brian’s hair as he smiles against his lips, completely ruining the kiss with his giggles. Brian acts like he isn't bothered at all as he continues peppering the older’s face with kisses—over his eyelids, on the tip of his nose, and both his soft, puffy cheeks.

“Wanna come home?” Brian asks as they finally pull away from the embrace.

“I already am.” Jae answers, leaning forward to give the younger's forehead one final kiss.

“I’m so… That was— wow,” coach Jung stutters. “I’m at a loss for words… that was _beautiful_ , Brian and Jae! I knew it was a good idea to pair you both this way. One look at you two and I just knew! Come on, guys, I think that performance deserves another round of applause.” The other actors enthusiastically do as they’re told, some even whistling and whooping out their cheers. “Now, even though you went past the required time limit for the scene by almost a minute, I’m willing to look past that because of this wonderful piece of art you’ve given us. The subtleties, the hesitance, the mutual shyness of the characters, ugh! I love it all so much. I don’t have any criticism to add, that was just a delight. Great job, you two.”

“Good job, man.” Brian hears Jae whisper to him, offering him a hand.

Brian stiffly accepts it and raises an eyebrow at the feel of Jae’s clammy hand in his.

Sheepish, Jae scratches the back of his head, explaining, “I get so nervous about these things. But anyways, thanks for letting me take the lead.”

Brian merely nods in acknowledgement before letting Jae go.

As they preen themselves with the praise they were being given, the two avoid meeting each other’s eyes throughout the rest of the session. Nothing really changed. Just because they did well on a scene together doesn’t automatically mean that they’re friends now.

But when it’s finally the end, it’s really time to say goodbye to the actors they spent every day with for the past month, Brian finds Jae by his side again.

Swallowing his pride (after all, they probably won’t see each other again after this), Brian gathers Jae’s attention by grabbing the older’s arm.

“I really wish you good luck on your movie, Jae. I have a feeling you might need it.” He says, referring to how nervous the older gets about performing scenes but still manages to do well despite the fact.

However, since they started off on the wrong foot, Jae takes his words the wrong way. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Brian is a little taken aback by the tone. “What, nothing. I was just—”

“You know, Kang, you’ve always had it out for me since the beginning.” Jae pulls his arm away, one that Brian didn’t even realize he was still holding, as he continues, “Thank god you’re a Broadway actor because that means there’s practically zero chances of us working together again in the future. Break a leg with that audition of yours. Figuratively or literally, I don’t even care.” He finishes before walking away without so much as a second glance, already leaving the studio and raising his phone to one ear as he answers his manager’s call.

Brian scoffs, feeling slightly offended. _As if I even want to see him again in the first place…_

He picks up his bag from the corner of the room, still reeling from the whole exchange.

But he can’t help agreeing with Jae’s words.

He, too, feels incredibly relieved to never have to see the older’s face, much less work with him, ever again.

(Of course, Brian wouldn’t realize how wrong he was until five years later.)


	2. my life gets kinda boring, need something that i can confess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a change of pace, act two: the universe gives them a second chance

2020, present year.

Jae enters his manager’s office without bothering to knock. He knows he wouldn’t get scolded anyway, especially not when he came with the latter’s husband, Wonpil, in tow. Upon seeing the two of them barge in, Sungjin raises a hand up in greeting as he continues to speak to someone over the phone. Jae and Wonpil, who’s also the actor’s agent, take a seat at the two leather chairs situated in front of Sungjin’s desk as they wait.

Sighing out of utter relief as his back hits the backrest, Jae lets himself completely relax for the first time that day. It’s only been a few hours past lunchtime and already, his body feels like it’s ready to hit the hay in the next minute or so.

The call-time for a branded perfume commercial he filmed earlier was at the ass-crack of dawn. Poor Jae barely got a few hours of sleep in before heading to location. Having landed at the JFK international airport a little after midnight last night, the suitcases are still left unpacked at his apartment as he plopped himself to bed face-down the moment he got back to his home. He did not even bother changing into more comfortable clothes as he sighed in relief, knowing that he’ll find peace in a dreamless sleep. And not for the first time, not by a long shot, he’s thankful for the exhaustion, welcomes it, even.

As his eyes pan across the many movie posters hanging on his manager’s wall, with four of Jae’s own movies taking up the most space, he still finds himself disbelieving that all of this is actually real. So, when he’s drowning with work, he really can’t complain with the way things are going in his career.

Ever since his first movie did well at the box office five years ago—more than doubling back the entire production cost—Jae’s life has never been the same.

(Whether it was for the better or worse, Jae believes the jury is still out on that one.)

Because of its huge success, _The Chase_ got picked up for a sequel _and then_ a third installment almost immediately. The two proceeding movies took place about three years after the first one premiered. And after he walked the red carpet for the final conclusion of the series, Jae thought he’d get to have a break from the limelight for a few months, maybe even a year.

But on the contrary, he had been home for all of ten minutes after the entire crew’s celebratory dinner when he got an urgent call from Sungjin. His manager called bearing good news that the actor got an offer to do another movie. The genre is still action but since it was produced by the same people from his first movie, Jae only needed a night and a full case of beer to mull it over before accepting the offer the very next day. Strike the iron while it’s hot and all that bullshit.

As some critics predicted that his fourth movie in four years will become another box office hit, there were others who felt hesitant as they started to coin Jae as a “one-dimensional actor”.

While they praised his ability to undoubtedly make an action movie much more successful than what was originally hoped for, using his thrillingly charming presence in the big screen, they began to question whether or not he’s able to perform as well in other genres. Since all of his characters so far were portrayed to have fiercely strong and unyielding personalities, they guessed that that was the only kind of acting he’s capable of doing. And that he has the inability to appear vulnerable.

One small negative dig to his self-esteem as an actor has the same power to that of a thousand positive ones. One small mocking remark and criticisms piling on top of each other, it was only so much for one person to take. Especially when said person carried all those words to heart.

It was after reading an article from a highly respected columnist who claimed that his range is basically nonexistent and that being in an action movie is all he’s good for, Jae locked himself into his house for almost a week with only boxes of pizza and bottles of beer to keep him company. He avoided social media—turning his phone off altogether—and never even bothered to turn on the television the entire time. He felt like he needed to distance himself from that world for a bit.

He’s not going to lie, it hurt just to think about it now. And it’s not because he doesn’t agree, it’s that he actually believes there’s some truth to their words is what upsets him the most.

Acting is more than just his passion, it’s his whole life. From an early age, he started watching classical plays and Hollywood movies almost religiously. He downloaded all of the soundtracks that he liked and taught himself how to play the guitar to be able to sing those songs to himself. And in doing all of that, he basically learned to understand and fluently speak the English language itself. At thirteen, he pretty much wrote lengthy English essays that more than impressed his teachers in school.

But of course, aside from the music and language, he also started developing a deeper appreciation for the performing arts. Whether it was Hollywood or Broadway, it didn’t matter. Jae equally loved both sides of the same coin. He loved seeing the emotions play out in the actors’ faces and admired how they’re able to transform into someone entirely new.

Growing up as a kid who has been picked on a lot because of his lankiness and overall weak immune system, he has always wanted to know what it felt like to be someone other than himself for once. Give awkward and gangly Park Jaehyung a break from time to time for a chance to be whoever the story needs him to be.

So, when the time to apply for college came around the corner, Jae decided that he wanted to study at an acting school. However, when his parents found out about his plan, they went ballistic. They forbid him to send in that application as they threatened to disown him if he pursues a route other than business.

He felt like he was walking on thin ice for an entire month as they didn’t speak with each other the whole time. They mostly relayed important messages through his older sister. But when his parents knocked in his bedroom door that one fateful night, Jae was speechless after hearing the compromise they came up with.

“We will let you pursue acting as a professional career after college _if_ ,” his mother paused to give emphasis, “you enroll into your father’s alma mater and take up any business-related course.”

His father added, “Please be practical, Jaehyung-ah. You have the grades for it and we genuinely believe you’re putting it all to waste.”

They reasoned that when (yes, they really said _when_ and not _if_ ) acting doesn’t pull through, he’ll have a backup career to fall back on.

And despite all of that, Jae appreciated that they took the effort to meet him halfway and so he agreed. He just decided to join the theater club in the university as his outlet during those four years.

When the performing arts department’s rendition of Phantom of the Opera hit the local theaters, Jae—in his fourth year studying marketing—immediately caught his manager’s eye. Sungjin was on a personal trip with Wonpil in Seoul when one of his clients sent him free tickets to watch the play.

Jae played the role of Viscount Raoul de Chagny with haunting perfection—in Sungjin’s and Wonpil’s opinions at least (along with most of the audience). He performed with the right balance of delicate sweetness, defiant playful nature, and fierce protectiveness towards Christine Daaé that gave the character more depth.

It was during the song All I Ask of You that Wonpil planted the idea into Sungjin’s mind to represent this exceptionally talented guy. And when Jae had the fight scene with the Phantom, that pretty much became the tipping point. Sungjin found himself sitting forward in his seat and gripping the armrest with his hands, anticipating the next moves of the actor. This kind of open attentiveness from him doesn’t come out very often. But when it does, Sungjin never misses an opportunity as he _always_ follows his gut.

And if the standing ovation when Jae’s name was called for roll call was anything to go by, Sungjin made sure to hunt the actor backstage almost immediately.

The rest was history after that.

But back to the matter of the article, it wasn’t until after Sungjin and Wonpil—ironically the only people Jae considers as his real and closest friends—barged in that Sunday evening to his house that he was able to get out of bed.

After scolding him for the mess that was his apartment—the takeout boxes by the coffee table (“I call that the leaning tower of pizza,” Jae’s joke was met with unamused looks from the couple), his acoustic guitar lying on the floor of the living room, and his countertop being littered with crushed and empty cans of alcohol, they managed to knock some sense into him.

“If that’s what they were saying about you, then isn’t this the best time to prove them wrong?” Wonpil reasoned as he was in the middle of helping Jae put the newly-washed dishes back into the cabinets.

“I promise I’ll help you find the perfect role that will showcase everything that I know you’re more than capable of.” Sungjin assured him, patting him gently on the shoulder. “Those jerks won’t even know what hit them.”

As he started to feel better, letting himself get swayed by their words, Jae replied, “I’m sorry, guys. I feel like I’m being pathetic right now. I just didn’t realize how quickly the tides would turn on actors until I actually experienced it myself. One minute they were saying nice things about you and then the next, you’re drowning under relentless criticism. But thanks for helping me get out of it.”

And so, the next week, they went hard at work to try to get Jae casted on another movie—romcoms, romantic melodramas, tragedies, anything that provides the opportunity for Jae to show that he’s not a one-dimensional actor.

But when a week stretched into a month, which then stretched into half a year of never getting past callbacks in auditions, Jae’s hope sort of fizzled out. Every damn time they told him that, while they acknowledge his large following and ability to break box office records, because of what the critics were saying along with his image as an emotionally unavailable person (oh, did Jae mention that he also actively avoided dating all throughout his career?), the directors, screenwriters, and producers felt burdened to take him in as their lead.

It’s already been a year since his last action movie and he still didn’t get remotely close to another offer.

Well, there was that one action movie from a big production company but he told Sungjin to decline it immediately without even bothering to know what it was about.

 _Am I a self-saboteur? Did I accidentally assign myself this fate when I auditioned for that movie?_ Jae wonders as he stares blankly at his first poster. _Or am I just being ungrateful by calling this career of mine a ‘beautiful cage’? Built perfectly to almost make me want to stay here, make me believe that this is what I deserve, and that this is all I’m good for?_

Jae sighs. He hates second-guessing himself like this. The more logical and slightly less pessimistic part of his brain argues that it’s not as if he even had a choice to begin with when he was offered to star in his first official role. Especially not after what that immoral director, Axel Greenfield, did.

But as he finds his thoughts circling back to that god forsaken event, wishing like hell for the day to come when he finally forgets about it, Jae works to quickly distract himself. Now is not the time and place.

“Hey, Pil.” Jae calls to the man beside him busy scrolling through his work phone.

“Hm?” The agent responds, distracted.

“I heard most of the paparazzi at the airport cashed in a lot of money after last night.” He shares, leaning sideways to try to get a peek at the other’s screen.

“Yeah, I’m reading one feature about it now, actually.” To save him the trouble of craning his neck, Wonpil hands him the phone displaying the article.

It’s a story of him in an online fashion magazine. They are having a field day with his most recent “airport fashion” attire. In the cover picture, he wore a loose-fitting white button down with thin black stripes under a black trench coat. Paired with that are black skinny jeans and brown suede shoes revealing his ankles that a lot of his fans claim as sexy. They’re singing praises of his ability to dress sharp, chic, and classy; a quality of his that has been consistent for years.

Jae snorts as he reads them call him a “modern day fashion icon”.

They don’t know that the clothes he wears out in public are almost always sponsored. And that some stylist from whatever clothing brand that time would send him the entire outfit along with detailed instructions on how to properly wear them so that the logo would be visible in the photos.

If he were given the freedom to choose, he would proudly wear an oversized hoodie with a witty quote at the front, ripped jeans, and his favorite pair of trainers. Exactly just like what he’s wearing right now. Simple and nothing too flashy.

But he relents, he wouldn’t be as famous as he is anyway if he shared his true and unfiltered self to the public. They would think he’s too plain and boring for Hollywood. Or worse, they’d see right through the cracks and realize he has too much emotional baggage for them to waste their time on.

“Well, that’s why you’re my agent,” Jae quips to Wonpil. “You come up with genius shit like this.”

Wonpil chuckles, taking back his phone from the actor’s grasp. “I’m your agent because I’m the only one patient enough to handle you.” He corrects, pausing to throw a loving glance to the person behind the desk. “That is, besides this handsome man over here.”

Jae sees the playfully smug look Sungjin sends his husband in return before bringing his attention back to the call. The actor makes a mocking disgusted face at them but really, on the inside, he loves seeing them act like this.

It is true, what Wonpil said. Even though Jae knows that the other is just joking, he really appreciates Wonpil and Sungjin staying by his side all these years. He admits that he can be a piece of work sometimes but he’s really thankful that of all the people in the world, he’s lucky enough to have met them. They’ve known each other for more than six years, been through difficult times together in and out of work, and the two are honestly the only constant thing in his life these days. You won’t hear Jae say it out loud but, he holds Sungjin and Wonpil dearly to his heart.

“…alright, we’ll talk more later. Goodbye.” He hears Sungjin say to the person on the other end of the line as he concludes the call. And as quick as lightning, he addresses Jae, “How was the shoot?”

“Well, hello to you, too, Sungjin.” Jae responds, clicking his tongue at his manager as if disappointed. “Really, man, where are your manners?”

“I’m 32 and you’re 27.” Sungjin deadpans. “Even my husband is three years older than you.”

“Age is but a number.”

That prompts a small but fondly exasperated smile to appear on the older’s often serious face. “Come on, how was it?”

“Well, aside from feeling groggy with sleep at the beginning, I think it went pretty great.” Jae adds, “We did finish ahead of time so there’s that.”

“Good.” Sungjin replies with a nod, satisfied. “Now Chanel can stop pestering me about having you to endorse them.” He lifts a folder from one side of his desk, which Jae assumes is the contract for the perfume commercial, and piles it on top of a pink, thick, and large notebook.

As Sungjin taps the papers upright against his desk to get the edges properly aligned, Jae catches sight of the text written at the back of the cover. He realizes it isn’t just a plain notebook after all, knows from past projects what a rough draft of a script looks like whenever he sees one.

“Hold on,” Jae starts, getting up from the chair to stand behind the desk, trying to get a proper look. “Is Cynthia Wilson finally back to writing movies?” He reaches a hand to stop Sungjin from putting the papers into a drawer. He makes a grab for the binder and throws a questioning look to his manager at the same time. “As in this script is written by my all-time favorite screenwriter of romantic movies?”

Sungjin doesn’t respond right away.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had this, man? When does pre-production start for this? She’s a friend of yours, right? Can you have me listed in consideration for the audition?” Jae asks excitedly as he begins flipping through the pages. His eyes quickly scan the list of characters along with their supposed personalities. The movie is entitled _“Tethered”_ and from what he’s been able to read so far, it’s about a guy on a backpacking trip around Europe to try to get over the death of the love of his life. In between breathtaking places, he gets flashbacks of how radiant their time together has been. Little by little, he’s learning to let up. And that along the process, he finds out what it feels like to want to live life again.

As he quickly flips to the last few pages to see the conclusion, he realizes that his enthusiasm regarding the script was met with silence. Looking up, Jae doesn’t miss the uncertain look that passed between the couple.

“What is it?” Jae prompts with a heavy breath, closing the script as his tone changes into a defeated one, already expecting the worst. “Out with it, guys, I can take it.”

Not really, but what else is he supposed to say, right?

“Well, for starters, the movie goes into pre-production about three months from now. And they’ll hold auditions around the same time.” Sungjin swivels the chair around to fully face Jae. “The moment that I found out about the movie, I immediately put in a good word for you. Trust me, she believes how great of an actor you are because of how persistent I was. It’s just that—”

Jae groans, cutting him off and going back to sit on the chair with a lot more force than necessary. “Let me guess, she’s hesitant to consider me because all I’ve ever done are action movies?”

Sungjin nods with a sigh. “She said that since it’s her first movie after coming back from an eight-year long hiatus, she’s doing everything she can to avoid being associated with even a sliver of bad press. And she thinks having your name involved in the movie is doing the exact opposite of that.”

“So, I’m stuck, then.” Jae laughs, humorless, as he leans his head forward to rest them on his hands. “They won’t hire me to do movies other than action mainly because that’s the only genre I ever did? How does that even make sense? _Of course_ , those are still the movies in my discography. No one outside of action wants to hire me! Every single director we’ve contacted so far are too afraid to consider me in the first place.”

 _That’s it. I’m fucked._ Jae declares to himself. _I got myself into this mess, how pathetic is that? Might as well go back to Seoul now and start working a boring nine-to-five desk job. Wish I could say this whole acting thing was fun while it lasted but it wasn’t even that. Ooh, or maybe I can have my dad talk to his business partner and get me hired in his company…_

The feel of someone’s hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles against him, pulls his head out of his thoughts. Turning sideways, he sees Wonpil giving him a warm smile.

“I thought you already know by now that when Sungjin sets his mind into a goal, he’ll do everything that he can to achieve it?” The agent reminds him with a meaningful look.

“Yeah, but it’s just…” Jae trails off, not knowing how to properly voice his concerns. “This is honestly just getting exhausting now. I mean, at this point, I really don’t know what to do.” He rubs at his face, frustrated.

Sungjin and Wonpil share another look, clearly having a conversation through their eyes. A deep kind of understanding that’s a product of being happily married for almost ten years.

“But you’re still not out of consideration for the movie yet.” Sungjin informs him.

Surprised, Jae’s head snaps back up to look at his manager’s conspiratorial face.

“What do you mean? Don’t play me like this, man.” Jae warns as he tries to douse the tiny bit of hope that started to flicker deep within his chest.

The smile on Sungjin’s face only widens as he continues, “Cynthia actually gave you a proposition. After some convincing, she decided to give you a chance. You’re lucky she values my opinion a lot.”

Jae sits up straight, suddenly alert and almost willing to do anything to get himself that role. Almost.

“She will cast you as the lead, no auditions needed or whatsoever, _if_ you’re able to prove to her within those three months that you are capable of being _genuinely_ emotionally vulnerable. She said that you may choose to do that in whatever way you deem possible as long as it’s authentic, declarative, and moving.”

“So, see?” Wonpil pipes up. “There’s still hope! Sungjin and I will start coming up with a game plan on how to do what she asked. This is exciting because it’s a lot more than we ever got in the past year or so…”

Jae drowns out the rest of Wonpil’s words as his mind wanders back to his spiraling thoughts. Instead of feeling excited and hopeful like Sungjin and Wonpil thought he’d be, Jae just felt more hopeless than ever.

The biggest reason why the media and the general public thinks of him as cold and unattainable is because he’s been very vocal about not wanting to be in a relationship—friendship, casual, or romantic, whatever it may be. He even went as far as shooting down the aimless flirty advances of his female lead at a press junket because they were told to try to play up the pairing.

“So, let’s talk about the amazing chemistry between you two,” the interviewer prompted. “How was it working with each other?”

“Oh, it was amazing!” The female lead answered right before Jae even had the chance to do so. “We’re pretty close now and I think it helped that we got on with each other right away when we started filming. Plus, well…” she trailed off a bit, looking a little shy now as she said the next words, “he _is_ my all-time celebrity crush so it’s just been a _dream_ to work with him.”

 _Woah, wow… there are a lot of things untrue with what she said._ Jae thought to himself. _First off, we’re not close friends, we’re just friendly. And second, I know for a fact that she doesn’t like me because she has a secret girlfriend waiting for her at home after all these interviews._

Jae couldn’t blame her though. It was her manager’s idea to try to lean into the thought of them possibly developing feelings for each other to trick people into supporting their movie. He knew that the lead actress hated the idea just as much as he did but she still went along with it anyway. So, Jae took it upon himself to save them both.

“Oh my gosh, that’s so cute!” The interviewer cooed before turning his eyes over to Jae, his tone dripping with too much insinuations as he asked, “And what about you, Jae? Who was your celebrity crush?”

“Nobody.” Jae replied, curt and simple.

The interviewer was slightly taken aback. He already set up the opening for Jae to “agree” that he liked his costar in return, with the follow-up questions at the ready. So, having Jae to outright deny it made him reorient his thoughts.

“I’m not really into dating. Or just the overall idea of it. I think it’s a waste of time so what’s the point in having a crush, right?”

And from then on, all his other interviews never asked him questions that belonged in the direction of whether or not he had flings and romantic affairs with other actors and actresses in the industry.

He distances himself from people. He just doesn’t see the point in putting yourself out there only for that person to crush you and break your trust. So, yeah, Jae is pretty much content on staying single, at least for the foreseeable future. It’s safe that way.

He didn’t use to be like this though. Really, Jae was filled with emotions. He used to feel a lot. And he still does, but lately, not a lot of people are permitted to see that side of him. Which is valid considering that a lot of things have happened in the past five years that ultimately led him to this new version of himself: guarded, distrustful, and a slightly distorted reflection of the man that he once was.

He claims that meeting new people is such a waste of time but honestly, that’s just his self-preservation talking. He finds it hard to trust them especially if they’re from within the industry.

The great Cynthia Wilson wants him to appear vulnerable and attainable? To show that he’s capable of feeling? That only means one thing in Jae’s book; he needs to contradict the image that he’s built so far. And in order for that to happen, he’s supposed to be committed in a romantic relationship.

He considers his options. One is to find someone that he likes outside of Hollywood. However, because of and despite the fame, he finds it hard to talk to people especially when they recognize who he is. He’s afraid that they won’t be as genuine to him as they would be to any other stranger they meet on the streets. And in addition to that, he’s still as shy and awkward as he was back in college. How is he supposed to find a lover in less than three months?

And the second and last option is to… hire another actor to be his boyfriend?

Jae is quick to shoot that idea down.

If he were to convince someone to be his boyfriend for the sake of getting ahead in his career, then that would mean he’s no better than that director. Sure, what that poor excuse of a guy did was much, much worse (honestly, it was bafflingly incomparable) but Jae would never allow himself to go down that route.

So, yes. Jae concludes that he is indeed fucked.

As he looks between his closest friends, sees the enthusiastic and encouraging smiles in their faces, Jae slips on a fake one of his own.

“Can’t wait to hear whatever genius idea you two will come up with.” Jae tells them, patting his hands against his lap as he prepares to get up. “And I’d love to stay here and scheme with you both but I gotta go.”

“Where are you going?” Wonpil asks as Jae stands up, the actor putting up a front by yawning and stretching out the kinks off his back. He lets his shoulders sag as if the jetlag is just catching up to him now.

“Home.” Jae lies. “I’m feeling kind of tired.”

Well, that last part is true but at the moment, he isn’t planning on going home to rest.

He just needed to get out of there this instant. He can’t stand to see them look so happy for him. Especially not when he’s too busy beating himself up from the inside.

“Good.” Sungjin replies with a nod. Jae’s heart breaks a little upon seeing the relieved and satisfied look on his friends’ faces caused by his words. He really hates lying to them. But he doesn’t want them to worry so he keeps up the façade. “Promise me you’ll get a lot of sleep. You look like you really need it, man. And don’t make me come into your house to tuck you in myself.”

Jae chuckles. It sounded empty to his ears but he hopes that the other two didn’t notice. “I promise, you bossy weirdo.”

***

Brian hates this.

He should be happy.

In fact, he should be planning a celebratory party by now. His favorite playwright contacted him to deliver the good news herself that he made it past the first round of auditions. He just needed to perform another song on stage to finalize things. The playwright told him that no other actor besides him got called back for the lead role.

He should feel elated. After all, he just got back from the European leg of another musical. He’s one of the most popular names in Broadway right now. The schedules of plays which he starred in are almost always sold out.

However, try as he might, he can’t find it in himself to be happy.

Brian was also told that he got called back only because the other theater actor that was their first choice declined the offer—something about going sabbatical or whatever, Brian didn’t care to listen that far. He _would’ve_ been their first choice due to his impressive performances so far in all of his past plays but something wasn’t quite right with his audition—"something lacking”, as the playwright mildly put it.

After being a theater actor for almost seven years, Brian is used to receiving constructive criticism. He welcomes it in the sense that he knows it’s necessary for him to grow and develop his craft. But since this person is his favorite playwright, someone whose opinion matters to him a lot, he couldn’t help feeling as if he disappointed her already. And that he has no idea how to make up for it.

Adrienne Laurent is a French-American playwright that is both loved and hated by Broadway critics and experts alike because of her own arguably controversial takes on classic musicals. She chooses the popular ones and does her spin on it. Since most of these classical plays are a few decades old, her renditions of them incorporate the current society into the narration, kind of like trying to make the past and present meet. Take the musical that Brian got called back for as an example.

It’s a modern spin on the classic “ _Moulin Rouge!_ ” wherein instead of a love triangle with the Duke of Monroth, the lead character, Christian (the role that Brian hopes he’ll bag), has to share the female lead, Satine, with her devoted fans. Adrienne Laurent removed the idea that the antagonist is a single entity in itself within the story. Moreover, the adversary takes shape in the form of dangerous fanaticism and hinted obsession to be in the spotlight. Laurent kept the core elements from the original but aside from the concept of love triangle and Satine having a life-threatening disease, everything else is the playwright’s personal take.

Her version of the play goes something like, Satine has been performing to fulfill her life-long passion as a popular singer and Christian has accepted that he will always come in second to her job. Satine’s fans are fiercely protective and possessive of her, not knowing that she is already in a relationship. But because Satine believes that she owes them her entire career, she doesn’t hold it against them. After all, she cherishes them the most in her life. And when she gets diagnosed with the big C—throat cancer for poetic irony—she refuses treatment as she doesn’t want to be kept away from expressing her love of performing and connecting with her supporters, and that she will keep singing until her very last breath. Christian feels like he can’t do anything because he knows how much Satine treasures her fans, claims them as her saving grace, even. He struggles at having to just stand there and watch while her health deteriorates right in front of his eyes.

The moment Brian heard of the audition, he read the entire script from cover to cover all in one sitting. Even though he’s familiar with the original play, he studied the story as if it was completely new. He took note of the dialogue, actions, parentheticals, and transitions a little more attentively than he would any other plays.

That’s why it stings a little when the playwright told him that he needed to work on showing how to love unconditionally and undoubtedly to be able to nail Christian’s character perfectly. The lead has long accepted the fact that he has to share Satine’s love and affection with a lot of people and Adrienne Laurent noted that Brian kind of struggled with that aspect.

The playwright suggested for Brian to pull from experience, channel from all of his exes.

“Surely, they had to share a part of you to the audience, too,” Adrienne assumes over the phone, “now that you’re a big name in Broadway, right?”

“I’ll have to give them a ring then,” Brian jokes, lying through his teeth, and thankful that the other can’t see his face at the moment, “assuming they’ll pick up once they see it’s me calling.”

The playwright gives a good-natured laugh, chatting him up for a bit to give the details of the callback before ending the call.

And here he is now, going through his latest audition tape that he had his manager get a copy of from the casting director. He’s trying to review the things he did and didn't do but he’s been at it for an hour now without so much as progressing on the task. He can’t go past a few seconds of concentrating before his mind wanders off again to fret about what he’ll do during the callback. If they don't see an improvement from him, they will surely consider another actor for the role. Brian knows he can't mess this up.

He’s having a hard time connecting with Christian and trying to understand his thoughts and mindset. He so badly wanted to put himself in the character’s shoes but he can’t properly visualize it. He exerted a lot of effort to study and nitpick the quirks and personalities of the characters but it's Christian that he struggles with the most.

However, he doesn’t have to dig deep to find the real cause of his dilemma.

He’s struggling because he’s essentially a one-track minded person. He knows his worth and is never afraid to go after the things he wants. He’s also possessive and direct. He was always the one to break up with his exes every single time he would get cast in a role because he wanted to pour his entire self into the things he does.

So, if anything, he sympathizes with the female character _more_ than his own desired role.

As Brian groans out of frustration for what feels like the hundredth time, he slams his laptop shut.

Crossing the room to get to his closet, he quickly changes out of his shirt and sweatpants into more appropriate clothes. Once he’s done, he grabs his keys and is out the door all in the span of two minutes.

 _I need a fucking drink._ The theater actor announces to himself.

Brian finds his way back to his favorite hole-in-the-wall dive bar. The entire room is elongated with the bar and shelf full of liquor taking up one side and the booths situated on the other. Most of the furniture are made up of dark varnished wood—the bar top, tables in each booth, and the floor paneling. And to contrast that, there are soft fairy lights webbing across the ceiling and giving the place a warm, rustic feel.

At the farthest side from the door, there sits a vintage jukebox playing a song from the 80’s—Brian finds himself humming along to _“Every Breath You Take”_ by The Police. Placed beside it are stacked barrels of alcohol. The wall on the side of the booths are decorated with road signs, old movie tickets and posters, caricatures of previous politicians and famous celebrities, and a pinup of Marilyn Monroe. Really, the postings are so random and different that Brian feels like he could spend hours looking through each of them.

He loves going to this place to clear his head because for one, it’s never crowded. For two, his friend, Dowoon, works here as a bartender; he likes to keep the latter company or, annoy him towards the end of his shift (as Dowoon kept claiming). And lastly, they don’t play those shitty, head-splitting music like the ones you hear on repeat at upscale nightclubs.

He’s been nursing his first glass of whiskey for the night for more than half an hour already, his mind too busy contemplating. It’s almost empty now after taking occasional sips once his throat starts to get dry. And honestly, Brian loves to feel the burn of it down his throat as it spreads through his chest. He admits that he’s not really a heavy drinker—as he only goes to the bar about twice a month—but whenever he needs to unwind, he slowly works his way through two to three glasses of bourbon before calling it a night.

Dowoon gave him a sideways glance earlier that are equal parts chiding and judging when he saw the theater actor walk in at freaking six o’clock on a Tuesday night. Brian’s not proud of it but… _What can I do?_ He shrugs to himself before downing the rest of the drink.

“Hey, Dowoon.” His voice is a little hoarse as he calls to the bartender.

His friend is busy wiping down the length of the bar to give himself something to do. The time during late dusk or early evening, and in that awkward place in the week where it’s not really halfway yet but still also at not the beginning, the bar is mostly deserted. Aside from Brian, there are approximately less than ten customers there.

“What is it?” Dowoon asks, coming to stand in front of the theater actor.

Wordlessly, Brian gestures at his empty glass, asking for another.

Sighing, the younger does as he’s told. But after, as he’s about to disappear into the backroom, no doubt on the hunt for something else to do, Brian calls after him.

“Keep me company, man, you’re not too busy anyway.” He tells Dowoon after taking a few sips.

He sees the younger hesitate before deciding that he’s right. After the latter goes to stand opposite him behind the bar, Brian flashes him a triumphant smile.

“Boring, isn’t it?” He asks with a chuckle.

“Kinda.” Dowoon shrugs. “But I’d choose this over a busy shift anytime.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean.” Brian agrees, looking around at the other patrons. There’s only one other guy, head resting on his arms by the countertop, sitting at the far end of the bar along with Brian. The rest are seated comfortably at the booths, minding their own business. They’re all mostly males tonight, having a drink alone like him with one exception of a small group of friends. “That’s why I always love coming back, it’s quiet. Nothing too exciting ever happens here.”

A beat passes between them before a look of barely contained glee flicks across Dowoon’s features.

“Oh, actually,” he starts, leaning towards Brian’s space as his voice lowers into a whisper. “You’re not going to believe who I’ve been serving drinks to for the past three hours now.”

“Who?” Brian asks, mildly curious and amused at the sudden excited glint on the younger’s eyes.

“Act cool, okay?" Dowoon tells him before leaning in even closer and whispering the name in the quietest voice Brian has ever heard.

“Who?” The theater actor repeats. But since he’s already downed one and a half glasses of bourbon, he didn’t realize his poor control of volume.

“ _Shh!!!_ ” Dowoon is quick to reprimand him, a little frantic as he struggles to keep his voice low as well. “Keep it down, he’s _right there_!” He subtly gestures with a tilt of his head to the guy at the other end of the bar, sitting farthest away from the rest of them in the room.

Brian follows the direction Dowoon pointed him in, seeing the other guy slumped forward with empty glasses of shots neatly lined in front of him.

As if sensing the heavy weight of Brian’s and Dowoon’s gazes, the guy lifts his head from his arms right in time to catch the theater actor watching him. The guy’s hoodie falls from the movement, effectively revealing his face. At that instant, Brian takes a second too late to look away as he sees recognition clearing the haze of drunkenness in the other’s face.

It’s the famous Hollywood actor, Jae fucking Park.

_Shit, he saw me._

His brain kickstarts into function the moment he realizes Jae is still looking at him as the older makes a move to stand up from his seat.

 _Fuckfuckfuck, please don’t come here…_ Brian prays repeatedly. In front of him, Dowoon curses under his breath, both nervous and excited, as he tries to school his face before the famous actor approaches them.

Not a moment too soon, Brian sees in his peripherals Jae taking a seat beside him.

“Hey, I feel like I’ve seen you before.” There’s a slight slur to his words. Brian purses his lips as he’s hit with the smell of strong alcohol almost radiating off the older. 

Brian snorts, “Was that supposed to be a pickup line?” He says as an attempt to distract Jae.

However, Jae’s frown only deepens in concentration. “No, that’s not it…”

He sees Jae pouting unconsciously as he tries to remember Brian’s name.

“You two know each other?” Dowoon asks Brian, surprised.

“No—” Brian is cut off by Jae.

“Oh, I remember!” Jae starts with a snap of his finger, his face lit up. “You’re that guy from acting class a few years ago. What was your name again?”

Sighing, he says, “It’s B—"

“Ah!” Jae cuts him off once more. “You’re Kang Younghyun-ie.” The older speaks in a sing-song voice.

Through gritted teeth, Brian corrects, “It’s Brian Kang to you.”

" _Tell you later_ ," he mouths to answer Dowoon's questioning look.

His calm mood from earlier is ruined now as he feels slightly miffed that Jae trespassed into his favorite hangout, one that's been his sanctuary for years. He’s too busy being annoyed to feel even remotely surprised that the older remembered his birthname especially when that was never published in the first place.

Jae laughs, light and free. “Didn’t think I’d ever say this but, it’s good to see you.” Brian grimaces at that. “It’s been so long, dude, loosen up. I can’t believe you’re still as uptight as ever.”

Brian didn’t have enough time to react as Jae quickly grabs the glass on his hand, downing the rest of the bourbon with unbelievable ease.

“And you’re still the same pain in the ass as always.” Brian retorts with lesser sting than he would have liked. He blames the whiskey for making him feel loose with words like that.

Jae chuckles once more before silence falls between them. Brian asks for his third glass for the night while Jae orders for another round of shots. Brian doesn’t fail to notice the surprised lift of Dowoon’s eyebrows upon the Hollywood actor's request.

“Are you sure, man?” Dowoon asks Jae. “You’ve had a lot in the last few hours.”

“Don’t worry, bro, I can handle my poison.” Jae assures with a charming smile. Brian would have believed him except that his words were slower and more slurred now than when the actor first approached him earlier.

Sighing, Dowoon prepares him new shots of vodka before entertaining the next group of customers that called his attention.

Brian and Jae are left alone afterwards. They stay like that for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet. However, Brian can’t help noticing how quickly Jae goes through the drinks. He then finds himself twisting in his seat to fully face the older, saying, “Slow down, Jae. Is everything alright?”

Brian tells himself that he doesn’t really care much, that he’s just trying to be nice by asking. After all, he’s also going through something but you don't see him drowning himself in alcohol like the way Jae is doing.

Jae looks back at him, gaze a little unfocused, as he studies Brian’s face before starting, “You know, I envy you. I should’ve taken the musical route when I had the chance. Instead of this… this beautiful cage that they like to call Hollywood. God, I hate it. I hate everything about it.”

If Jae is sober right now, he would never in a million years spill his deepest and darkest worries to someone else, especially not the likes of someone that he barely even got along with from years ago.

Well, they did say that alcohol is liquid courage. And Jae already drank too much of it.

Instead of feeling flattered by Jae’s words, Brian thinks Jae, one of the most famous actors at the moment, is just being so ungrateful. This entitled and privileged actor who, by the way, only got casted in his first movie because of his good looks, has the audacity to complain about his career?

Brian is fuming. “Wow. Should I say poor you? Poor famous Hollywood actor, Jae Park? Do you have any idea how many people would die to be in your shoes? _You_ chose this life, dude. Therefore, you should take responsibility in dealing with every shit thrown your way. Honestly, you’re being such an ungrateful prick right now.”

Jae feels like he was punched in the gut. His entire features suddenly turned cold and closed off as he spits out the words, “Get the fuck out of my face.”

“I was here first, you get out.” Brian retorts immaturely.

And it wasn’t even true. Based on what Dowoon has said, Jae has been at the bar for three hours now while Brian has only gotten here for more than half an hour. But since Jae can’t stand to see him at the moment, he decides to leave.

Downing the rest of his drink, Jae tries to stand up from the high stool to distance himself from the younger. Except, he’s in such a hurry to do so that his long limbs fail to coordinate with the rest of him because of the alcohol as his foot catches on a leg of the chair.

With his momentum going forward, Jae stumbles off balance.

Fortunately, Brian’s reflexes are quick enough to stop the older’s fall as the theater actor reaches with both hands to grip Jae’s shoulders, steadying him.

Blood rushes to Jae’s head as he feels slightly disoriented with the sudden movement that he didn’t notice he’s now situated on the space between Brian’s legs, with his head resting on the crook of the younger’s neck and hands resting on top of his thighs.

As the sudden dizziness clears, Brian feels the vibrations as Jae starts laughing against his skin, absolutely piss drunk.

“You’re such a fool, Jaehyung-ah.” Brian hears Jae mutter to himself in Korean, sounding amused but defeated.

“You’re drunk, man. Go home.” Brian attempts to lift the older’s face away from his neck but Jae merely twists away from his hand. Giving a weak moan of protest, he just further nuzzles his nose against the younger’s shoulder. At this point, he’s so far gone from drunkenness that nonsensical words started spilling out of his lips.

“Don’t want to,” Jae mumbles, quiet and slurred. “You feel so warm.” He nuzzles even closer, breathing Brian in. “You smell nice, too.”

Brian didn’t expect he’d experience firsthand what kind of a person Jae becomes when drunk and stripped away from his usual filters.

 _So, you’re one of those people who turn loving and clingy, huh._ Brian doesn’t know what to feel with this new information.

The younger lets Jae settle for a bit, all the while refusing to notice that Jae actually feels nice and warm against him too, before nudging him a few seconds later. “Hey, Jae. Do you want me to call a cab for you?”

But when the older doesn’t make a sound to acknowledge his words, much less get off of him, Brian cranes his neck to get a better look at Jae. He sees that the older is blissfully passed out.

He tried gently shaking Jae awake for a second time but the older won’t budge. Letting out a heavy sigh, _I clearly don’t need this right now_ , Brian racks his brain for something to do. And just when he’s about to ask Dowoon for help, he hears a loud ringing. Following the source of the sound, Brian fishes out Jae’s phone from the front pocket of his hoodie.

He reads the caller ID as “ _Bob the manager_ calling…”. Relieved, Brian quickly answers it.

“Hey, man. Wonpil and I are having dinner in a few minutes. Wanna come with?” A voice of a man asks from the other end of the line.

“Hey, uh, is this Bob?” Brian starts, uncertain.

The tone of the man quickly changes as he registers a different voice answering the call. “Why do you have Jae’s phone? Listen, whoever you are, if you ever sell private information, that is a blatant breach of privacy punishable under—”

“Calm down, man.” Brian cuts him off with an exasperated sigh. “Look, my name’s Brian Kang and Jae’s with me right now. I answered this call because I didn’t know how to help him; he’s currently passed out at a bar.”

“Jae is _what_?” Another voice repeats on the background at the other end of the line.

“I fucking knew it…” Brian hears Bob swearing on the phone. “God, I should’ve made sure that he really went home earlier. I’m such an idiot.”

The other guy adds in a worried tone, “Stop doing this to yourself, Jaehyung-ah…”

Brian’s frown deepens upon hearing their words as he spares another glance to the sleeping man against him. Now that he’s paying close attention, he starts to notice small details that he neglected to see before. That even though there are dark circles under Jae’s eyes, he actually looked radiant and more peaceful now that he’s asleep. A look of calm washing over his face, something that wasn’t there before when he was still conscious.

_Why are they so worried about you, Jae? Why did you come to this bar? What was it that you wanted to forget, even just for a night?_

Brian starts to feel guilty for being so mean to the older. He had no right invalidating Jae’s problems the way that he did. He’s twenty-six years old. He should have known better by now. No one can understand the full extent of another person’s struggles and he felt that he wasn’t helping at all by being so judgmental and dismissive.

“Where are you guys right now?” Bob’s authoritative voice pulls Brian from his thoughts.

As Brian tells him the address, Bob promises to be there in ten minutes before ending their call.

Sighing for what feels like the thousandth time in an hour, Brian finds himself wrapping an arm around Jae’s back as support. Since Jae basically settled in on Brian, his body sags against the younger’s frame. He hears the older mumbling incoherent words in his sleep that Brian finds are so amusing, he didn’t even realize a small smile has already graced his lips.

And as he’s too busy adjusting their positions to help Jae get comfortable, he doesn’t see the guy sitting on one of the booths holding his phone out and filming them.

True to his words, Bob calls Jae’s phone again at exactly ten minutes later.

“We’re right outside.”

Brian has managed to wake Jae, or at least make him conscious enough to support some of his weight as the younger helps him out of the bar and into the streets where a black SUV is waiting for them. At the sight of the two stumbling out of the door, a guy gets out of the car to help.

“Are you Bob?” Brian asks, holding Jae protectively against him. He knows how famous Jae is so he doesn’t want some paparazzi or stranger to take advantage of the older in this state. Brian reasons that he’s only sympathizing as an actor to another actor.

The guy grimaces before saying, “It’s Sungjin actually, Jae’s manager. He just gave me that ridiculous nickname.”

Brian is still skeptical, not letting Jae go even after the other man tried to pry the older from him.

Realizing this, the guy sighs. “Look, trust me or not, I don’t care but we gotta get Jae into the car now before anyone recognizes him.”

 _Valid point._ Brian notes before helping to get the famous actor hidden inside the car.

The other man sitting on the passenger’s seat, the one Brian assumes as the same one who spoke in the background of the call, says to him. “Thanks for helping him, Mr.…?” He trails off, asking Brian to supply his name.

“Brian Kang.” He reaches a hand out as a proper greeting.

The other man’s eyes widen in recognition. “That’s why you look familiar! You’re that famous Broadway actor, right?”

Sheepish, Brian lets his hand fall back to his side before saying, “Um, yeah. That’s me, I guess.”

“I’m Wonpil, by the way.” The man introduces. “Jae’s agent and friend. And this guy over here is my husband.”

“Wow, that’s… cool.” Brian awkwardly replies. He doesn’t know what else to say or do now that the task of getting Jae safely inside the car has been done. He also doesn’t want to appear rude by just leaving immediately after that.

“Well, we’re all good to go.” Bob—or Sungjin, whatever his name is—announces to the both them after properly securing Jae in a seatbelt. “We really appreciate your help, Brian. And hey, as a thank-you, why don’t you let us give you a ride home?”

Brian doesn’t spend too much deciding, after all, the offer is so enticing that he finds himself nodding before sitting beside Jae on the car.

The three of them were too busy with the whole exchange that they also didn’t notice the same guy from the bar followed Brian and Jae outside.

“Um, Sungjin?” Brian hesitantly calls to the other just as he was about to open the door. They’re now idling in front of Brian’s apartment complex when the theater actor remembered something.

“What is it?” Sungjin asks, looking at him a little warily from the driver’s seat. “Do you need like hush money or something?”

Brian is quick to wave him off. “No, nothing like that at all. It’s just…” He looks at Jae one last time before continuing, “Can you tell him that I’m sorry for the things I said tonight? He’ll know what it means.”

“Oh, um.” Sungjin is surprised. Sharing a look with Wonpil, he replies, “Sure, man. I will. Have a good night.”

“You, too.” Brian says before finally alighting the vehicle.

A few minutes after he gets home, Brian retires to bed early. The events of the night are catching up to his body and he realizes how he's still no closer to soothing out his worries regarding the callback. So, like always, he chooses to sleep it off for the time being.

His phone is left in the table by the dining room, a few text messages from Dowoon waiting to be read.

 **Dowoonie:** hey, man. Don’t know if this is cause for worry but I caught a guy at the bar filming you and Jae.

 **Dowoonie:** well, I didn’t exactly catch him in the act but he was acting suspicious enough by watching you two so I kicked him out. Should I have done something else?

 **Dowoonie:** please let me know when you get this.

And some time after midnight, TMZ posts an article about Brian and Jae—the first of many to come all the while being the final nail to their coffins.

**_BREAKING: New couple alert!_ **

_You’ve seen it here first, folks! Hollywood actor Jae Park is reportedly dating the darling of Broadway Brian Kang!_

_The two were seen getting cozy and sweet at a small-town dive bar in downtown New York earlier Tuesday night._ _A source reports that they couldn’t get their hands off each other the whole time. “They were constantly hugging and giggling at each other’s necks, and even leaving the bar together. Honestly, it didn’t look like a fling or a one-time thing. They were so familiar and clingy together.”_

_Don’t believe us? Well, check out this phone-shot video and see for yourself._

_In the footage, Jae Park is seen laughing against the theater actor’s neck over some joke that we didn’t get to hear. And in the next clip, Brian Kang helps his drunk boyfriend get into a car (ain’t no point in drinking if you’re not getting drunk, right?). It looks like these two had a fun time, and will continue to have even_ more _fun as they drive away for the night…if you’re catching our drift *wink wink*._

_Going from La La Land all the way to the City of Dreams? I mean, Jae Park sure has travelled a long way to visit his boyfriend. Pretty sure he didn’t come to New York just to have a few innocent drinks with Brian Kang…_

_But anyways, that’s all we have for now. Keep checking in for more updates on this exciting romance!_


	3. 'til all my sleeves are stained red from all the truths that i've said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so, it begins.

_This is some next level bullshit, Hollywood._ Brian claims as he keeps pacing in the living room, confused and a little panicked.

After waking up and doing his early morning routine, Brian assigned himself into a day full of practicing and planning for what he’ll do once he performs again for the role of Christian. But when he checked his phone, reading the texts from Dowoon and finding out about the article from TMZ, he immediately called his team.

No, wait. Actually, the very first thing that he did was to laugh out of extreme incredulity for the whole situation before calling his manager, Mrs. Jessica Lee. He asked her to draft a statement setting the records straight. He made numerous points insistently disproving the article—with the most of them reasonably explaining away almost frame by frame the things that happened in the video. Worked up, he quickly hangs up the call to let Jessica finish drafting the statement.

And as he waits, he’s reminded once again of the reason why he keeps away from anything related to Hollywood. He believes it’s where things are too cruel and too shiny to distract you from the fact that they’re fake. And, figures, one of the few times he ever interacts with actors in that industry is already enough to involve his name on an article that has received so much internet traffic over the last eight hours.

He hasn’t bothered reading the responses underneath the post, still too riled up to care, but when he does log into his socials that he notices just how much people are reacting to it.

When he sees the keyword “JaeBri” trending at top spot on Twitter, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Whispering the name that they came up with to try to hear how it sounds like, Brian scowls as it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. And upon clicking the trend, he sees endless results of people jubilant over the rumor—which, from the looks of it, they are already claiming to be true. He feels lost and confused even more as he reads the tweets.

 _How the hell did all of this happen in one night? Jae and I looked ‘familiar and clingy’? That was all because he was drunk!_ Brian reasons that he was just being nice by letting the older rest against him for support. And if he’s being honest, he only did it because he felt bad for the guy and for the way he talked to him when the older seemingly had a lot going on in his life. At least, based on the way those two people—Sungjin and Wonpil they said their names were—worried over him.

But, really, all of this media attention over a short video taken out of context? All of a sudden, people are making edits of them, both videos and pictures? What is going on?

When his phone rings again, Brian is quick to answer the call without bothering to check the caller ID.

“Is it done—”

“Hi, Brian, this is Adrienne!”

The next words die on the tip of Brian’s tongue.

Why is the playwright suddenly calling him this early in the morning? Fear clouds his better judgment as he imagines all the possible things she’ll say, both reasonable and otherwise, when they already talked about callbacks just yesterday.

_Did the actor of their initial choosing change his mind? Is Adrienne going to ask me to play the secondary lead instead? Not to brag, but I’ve only been getting lead roles in almost two years now. Am I suddenly back as a supporting act? Or worse, am I out of the play altogether?_

Heart in his throat, Brian’s thoughts are running a mile a minute. After being taken completely by surprise by that article, he clearly didn’t need this added to his plate.

But since he’s a great actor, he quickly composes himself. Keeping his tone casual, he greets, “Hey, Adrienne, what can I do for you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” At least the excited tone in Adrienne Laurent’s voice helps a little to soothe Brian’s poor nerves and pent-up stress. If she had started with a careful tone while saying the words “I’m sorry to say this, Brian,” the theater actor would have started crying.

“You could’ve said something when we talked yesterday! Saved us all that trouble of scheduling a callback.” She finishes with a light-hearted laugh.

_Huh?_

“About what exactly?” Brian asks cautiously, his earlier brief moment of relief gone instantly.

“That you’re dating Jae Park, silly!” Adrienne happily exclaims. “Now you really have personal experiences to pull from! I just can’t _wait_ for you to bring Christian to life on stage!”

“W-what do you mean, exactly?” He stammers. The sound of his heartbeat echoing loudly in his ears.

“The role is yours! Ugh, you’re basically just rehashing what it feels like being in a secret relationship with someone famous—well, it’s not a secret anymore but you get my point.” She lets out a delighted chuckle. “Though, I get why you didn’t tell people. You were probably just off your game during the audition, that it felt weird to play for the part that’s essentially a reflection of your private life. Dating someone with a huge fanbase like that, I can understand why you two wanted to keep it out of the public’s knowledge. It hit too close to home. I get it.”

Brian struggles to respond. His mouth keeps opening and closing as words fail to come out.

“Oh, what am I saying? I didn’t mean to sound insensitive.” Adrienne apologizes, taking his silence as something else. “I’m sure you and Jae didn’t ask for this attention but still, I’m not denying that I _am_ ecstatic. Because of this news, I finally found the perfect guy to play Christian!”

“I’m relieved, then…” Brian manages to breathe out. “Thank you for this opportunity, Adrienne.”

The words fall flat to his ears. Fortunately, Adrienne is too excited to notice.

He really doesn’t have the guts to correct her assumptions. Now that she has officially given him the role, Brian thinks the moment has come and gone for him to set things straight. If he badly wants to be casted as the lead, telling the truth is definitely the complete opposite of that.

And if he’s being honest, he’s actually relieved that he doesn’t have to go through callback. That his worries from last night were placated. His current problem about lacking in audition is solved in an instant.

As for his portrayal of Christian, he’ll cross that bridge when he gets there. Surely, he’ll learn to improve when rehearsals start. Right?

“Nonsense,” she waves it off. “I’ll ask my assistant to email you additional details about the role and scheduling. But if things go according to plan, we start script-reading and rehearsals sometime next month. Don’t let me keep you. You and Jae are probably busy handling the media. Talk to you again soon!”

And just like that, she ends the call.

Great, now Brian only has one other problem to deal with.

Ringing his manager’s number, Brian quickly gets down to business. “Cancel the statement. We need to get in contact with Jae Park’s team. And since I’m already friends with him, I think it’s best that I handle all the talking.” He’s lying on that ‘friends’ part but he knows he needed to assure Mrs. Lee so that she would let him negotiate with Jae’s manager on his own.

Don’t get him wrong, Brian hates what he’s about to do.

But, oh god, he’s so damn desperate.

Gritting his teeth, he prepares to meet the other actor. _Time to swallow my pride and get this over with._

***

Jae wakes up to the feel of his throat as dry as sandpaper and his head pounding with a skull-splitting ache. A few slivers of warm and radiant rays of sunlight insistently peering through the spaces between the blackout curtains in his room provide sharp lines of contrast that do nothing to help with his discomfort.

As he rubs his eyes to try to clear the slumber and dizziness affecting his vision, he peeks at the digital clock on his nightstand. Seeing that it’s half past nine in the morning, he rolls onto his back with his arms splayed out in bed. He looks around the room as he stretches the kinks off his long limbs.

The suitcases are lying on the floor by the corner near the closet, still right where he left them the other night. Jae makes a mental note to unpack them later on when his head starts to feel intact and any sudden movement is no longer threatening to his bowels. He may be called a lot of things at the moment but “messy”, “sloppy”, and “disorganized” are definitely not one of them. He already suffers enough with that in his career, can’t let it affect his home life too—or at least, his poor attempt of it.

The beige walls in his room remain as bare and simple as when he bought the two bedrooms, one bath apartment a couple of years ago after heeding Sungjin’s advice that it’s better to have at least a permanent place to stay somewhere in the East coast whenever he travels between LA and New York (“—somewhere near our agency’s NY office and mine and Wonpil’s second apartment,” Sungjin reasoned while already asking his assistant to look for flat listings in the area. Jae moved in a week later). Though it’s already late into the morning, his entire room is mostly dim with minimal light coming in thanks to the thick grey curtains covering all of the windows and the French doors leading to the balcony.

He stays like this for a few minutes, savoring the peace and quiet, as he feels refreshed from a long night of sleep despite the headache. It’s probably been a month since he’s had more than eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. He wonders when he’ll get the luxury again, claiming that the pain in his head is absolutely worth it. At the back of his mind, he thanks the alcohol for effectively chasing away the nightmares and, for once, his thoughts are silent all throughout the night.

He thinks back to the events of last night. The images are hazy in his mind but he remembers enough to feel embarrassment creeping up to his face.

_God, I can’t believe I passed out in public like that. And in Brian Kang’s arms, no less!_

Groaning, he runs his hands through his hair, messing the strands up even more. He doesn’t know whether to feel stressed or relieved that it was the younger who was with him then. After all, from what he could remember before being out like a light, Brian had at least some sense of decency not to leave him to fend for his drunk self like that.

He begrudgingly appreciates the small act of kindness, but he wishes that it just didn’t happen altogether. He didn’t want to appear weak in front of the younger, give him more of an ammunition, the dismissive words of Brian still ringing as clear as day.

Now, Jae feels like he owes him for helping him the night before.

It’s only when the digital clock gives out a soft beeping sound, signaling that it’s 10AM, that Jae finally gets out of bed. Gritting his teeth in preparation, the sudden head rush from standing up doesn’t hit him as much as he expected. Maybe his body has already been too familiar with hangovers after all. He proceeds to the bathroom, taking his time to splash cold water on his face, rinse his mouth, and brush his teeth. Afterwards, he feels kind of gross for still wearing the same clothes he wore all day yesterday so he carefully gets out of his jeans and hoodie, leaving himself only in his plaid boxers and a thin white shirt.

Like a routine, he goes to check his phone on the bedside table only to find it dead and drained. Sighing, Jae hunts for the charger on one of the drawers before going out the room to plug his phone in the kitchen. And as he stands in the doorway, he’s surprised to find a bright yellow post-it on the door of the fridge.

After making sure that it has started charging, he goes to read the note.

_We left food for you in the microwave, just reheat it. Eat first before taking ibuprofen (by the eggs in the fridge—we stocked it a little). Drink lots of water. And please, for the love of god, hold off on drinking at least for the rest of the week. Please._

_Love,_

_S &W_

Jae cracks a smile in appreciation. _God, I love these two so much. But I really wish they would stop worrying about me all the time._

Contrary to what the events of the previous night would have you believe, Jae _refuses_ to think that he is a drunkard. Sure, he has developed a high-tolerance to alcohol, but he doesn’t always drink to the point that he passes out. Well, granted, last night wasn’t the first time it happened but hand to his heart, Jae swears he only drinks to get drunk enough that when his tired body finally succumbs to sleep, night terrors won’t plague his mind.

And he only needed the help of the alcohol last night because he wanted to forget, even just for a few hours, that another great opportunity passed right under his nose.

It’s like the role is being dangled right in front of his face and every time he reaches out to grab it, it’s suddenly pulled away from him, taunting him with thoughts of what could have been. And it stings a little bit more than the other rejections he got because he really wants that role. He yearns to move people with his acting and believes that the movie will certainly touch the audience’s hearts, making them feel a whirlwind of emotions.

But he also believes that there’s no way he’s going to get it. That the condition Cynthia Wilson gave was only to placate Sungjin, to get him to stop pestering her about casting his client. Jae knows how Hollywood works; unless there are contract signings involved, words alone don’t mean anything.

Letting out a heavy breath, Jae goes to reheat his breakfast—pasta. While waiting, he opens the fridge to see the things Sungjin and Wonpil bought for him.

Different kinds of meat and frozen vegetables are in the freezer. There are also about ten bottles of water, sodas, a few healthy snacks, and other ingredients that he can use when improvising for his next meal. The food in there is plenty enough to last him a few days but Jae decides he needs to make a quick trip to the groceries soon. He also makes a mental note to thank his friends later. And definitely to pay them back.

The microwave beeps, alerting Jae that the food is ready. After struggling to get the plate out without burning his fingers, he carefully sniffs a forkful of pasta. And when his stomach doesn’t recoil from it, Jae gingerly eats a bite. Now that he’s moving about and finally eating, the throbbing in his head isn’t as bothersome as when he woke up almost an hour ago.

Grabbing a water bottle from the fridge after he finished eating, Jae takes the ibuprofen. Since it feels refreshing to drink cold water, his parched throat almost singing in relief, he downs the rest of it, noticing that the fog in his head clears a little bit more.

As he makes a move to wash the dishes, the sound of his phone ringing demands his attention. It’s gone back to life again, now that it had enough battery to power on.

Checking the caller ID, he sees that it’s Wonpil calling.

Jae sighs in relief. He was afraid Sungjin is going to nag him about last night. While it is warranted and justified, Jae’s headache still hasn’t subsided enough for him to be able to handle hearing his manager’s scolding tone. He already feels guilty enough as it is.

“What’s up, Pil?” Jae starts as a greeting.

“We have an emergency.” The actor’s heartbeat picks up at the urgency in his friend’s tone.

“What happened, is Sungjin okay?”

“Of course, he is.” Wonpil rushes. “This is about you.”

Jae frowns. “What do you mean? Did someone see me while I was out drinking last night?”

“Oh, it’s so much more than that, believe me.” The agent vaguely tells him.

“So, what’s it about then?” Jae questions, getting more confused by the second. _What else happened last night? The only people who recognized me at the bar were the bartender and Brian Kang. Or, oh shit, did Brian rat me out to the press? He wouldn’t do that, would he? Especially after helping me out last night…_ He continues, “And why wasn’t Sungjin the one who called me? Where is he?”

“He’s, um,” Wonpil hesitates with a pause. “He’s actually talking to someone at the moment about this. Look, I’m sending a driver to come pick you up right away. In the meantime, get dressed, clear your head, and read the article that I’ll be sending you. We’ll explain more when you get here.”

Immediately after the call ends, Jae grabs a black jacket from the few clothes he left in the closet and puts on black joggers. Once he’s done, he quickly gets notified with a message from his agent. It’s a link to what appears is directed to TMZ’s website.

 _Oh, no. This can’t be good._ Jae’s thumb hesitates on clicking. He’s got a bad feeling about this. These people are notorious for being the first place any paparazzi will go to when they want to cash in a lot of money for taking exposé pictures of poor celebrities. Nervousness is making his heart pound loudly almost as much as his headache does.

Swallowing his anxiety, he goes to open it.

His frown deepens in confusion upon reading the headline. _I’m dating Brian Kang?_ _No one in their right minds would ever believe this._

He scrolls down into the page, reading further. He can’t believe how ridiculous this whole thing is. And why would Sungjin and Wonpil consider this as an emergency? As someone who’s had a handful of articles posted about him and his life—though most of them are false assumptions—this doesn’t surprise him much. He’s always been vocal about staying single and untethered to anyone. His team can easily just reiterate that fact in a statement disproving the rumors.

But when he watches the video clip, he suddenly understands the reason behind the urgency in Wonpil’s voice. The narrative that they’re going with becomes apparent to him as the things that happened on the video align with the insinuations mentioned in the article almost perfectly.

“ _…they were constantly hugging and giggling at each other’s necks…_ ” Jae reads. “ _…they were so familiar and clingy together…_ ”

He doesn’t remember much after sleeping on Brian’s arms. So, seeing the rest of the things that happened after that, he is considerably surprised of how gentle the younger handled him. Ignoring the part where he laughs and nuzzles against the younger’s neck ( _I’m drunk, okay?! I do stupid shit sometimes._ ), he finds himself appreciating the small gesture when he sees the theater actor adjusting him so he doesn’t fall off.

 _But why would he even wrap his arms around me like that? We looked like we were hugging! That_ definitely _made everyone think that we’re too ‘familiar’ with each other._ Jae’s not going to lie.

After watching the video for the first time, he felt the urge to ring the theater actor to give him his thanks for helping him out. And he would have done it already, if he wasn’t also reminded of Brian’s hurtful words that caused the whole thing. It still stings to have his problems be invalidated like that, _especially_ when he just let a portion of his guard down to share his woes to the younger.

He looks at the clip a second time to objectively observe the images and he admits that based from an outsider’s perspective, the claims of the article are not too far off. That if you’re a reader who only sees the surface and doesn’t know any better (and to be fair, Jae and Brian have successfully lived private lives while still in the spotlight), it’s relatively easy to believe these lies.

But that doesn’t mean that it—the article’s claim—is not downright outrageous.

As he reads the comments, he notes the general response of people. First is surprise but what quickly followed after is excitement. They’re all mostly rooting for the “couple”. He reasons that these people are not exactly a part of his fanbase and they’re just those excited for the gossip and nothing more. That’s why it was easy for them to take it at face-value.

Jae scoffs as he reads a comment claiming that the theater actor is good for him and his image. That he lucked out in bagging the sweet _darling_ of Broadway. And that they hope the two will stay together for as long as possible.

_Me? Lucky to have sweet, sweet Brian Kang in my life? As in the same guy who invalidated my problems to my face and called me an ungrateful prick all in the same breath is suddenly being published as my boyfriend? And is apparently my saving grace? Never in their wildest dreams._

***

“What the fuck is all of this?” Jae demands to know the moment he steps foot inside Sungjin’s office, finding Brian Kang deep in conversation with his manager.

Their previous setup had the theater actor and an older woman, Jae assumed is part of the younger’s team, seated at the two leather chairs. They seemed to be discussing something important because when Jae barged into the room, they all fell silent.

Sighing out of exasperation, Sungjin tries to calm the actor down. “Play nice, Jaehyung-ah. You probably have a guess by now why Mr. Kang is here.”

“No, I don’t, actually.” Jae disagrees, crossing the room to stand in front of Sungjin’s desk and feeling the weight of Brian’s gaze follow him. “I thought _I_ was called here to make a statement that would set the rumors straight.”

He looks back to address the younger actor. “And shouldn’t you be doing that right now as well? I can’t imagine why _you_ would let the public make up assumptions about us without doing anything to stop them right away. Between us, it would sound more convincing coming from you, right? I wouldn’t want to come across as an _ungrateful prick_ ,” Jae accentuates, echoing Brian’s words from last night, “by going after TMZ like that.”

Brian diverts his eyes, still ashamed of how cruel he was.

 _I guess I deserved that._ He accepts with a sigh.

“Listen, Jae,” the theater actor starts, looking back up to meet Jae’s gaze. “I’m not here to look for a fight. I came purely to talk business with you and your team.”

“ _What?_ ” Jae asks before turning back to both Sungjin and Wonpil for confirmation. “The hell is he talking about?”

Jae sees Sungjin sharing a quick look with Brian first. The older actor can already tell that he’s not going to like what he hears.

Sitting with his back straight on the chair, Sungjin tells him with an unwavering voice, “We have decided to lean into the narrative. To let the public believe it. And,” he lets out a breath before continuing, “to feed into that belief ourselves through meticulously planned PR.”

It takes a few seconds for the full effect of Sungjin’s words to register in Jae’s brain. And when it does, Jae is understandably appalled. “No. Fuck, no. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever pretend to be his fake boyfriend, to be _anyone’s_ fake anything!”

_Why did they come up with this plan in the first place?!_

“Just hear us out, Jae. I really think that—”

Shaking his head incessantly, Jae interrupts Sungjin as he steps away from the desk. “Never. Over my dead fucking body.”

“Jaehyung-ah,” Sungjin’s chiding tone stops him. “Trust me on this one.”

Frustrated, Jae runs a hand through his hair. He studies Sungjin’s face, trying to decipher the meaningful look sent his way. He then turns back to look at Brian, only to see the younger already looking at him with anxious eyes.

_But why would Brian agree to this? I thought he hated me?_

“What would you even get out of this?” Jae questions him.

A light shade of pink dusts Brian’s cheeks as he begrudgingly recounts the story about the call he got from his favorite playwright, with his manager filling in a few details. He honestly doesn’t want to share it but since he knows that in order for this to work, he needs Jae’s help. So, for the sake of keeping that role, he’s willing to swallow a bit of his dignity to convince the older into cooperating.

However, Jae is adamant. “Look, I feel for you, Brian. I really do.” He animatedly waves his arms around to give emphasis to his words, “But it’s not my fault that you failed to get casted right away.”

Brian scoffs at the obvious dig.

Jae continues, “What does this have to do with me? Why do I have to be bothered about this? And Sungjin,” Jae faces his manager again, the stress that the situation has put on him is clearly evident on his face. Raising his voice, he continues, “what the hell, man? You know how I feel about relationships—real or not real. I can’t believe you would even consider agreeing to this in the first place!”

But before Sungjin could defend himself, Wonpil beats him to it. “Oh, don’t take this out on him like that.” The agent scolds Jae. “If you would calm down and let us explain the whole thing, you would understand that me and Sungjin only had your best interests in mind. We know how much you want to be casted in that melodrama, we were just thinking of ways on how to help you achieve that.”

Now, Jae’s a little confused. “The melodrama?” He repeats, his frown deepening as he struggles to connect the two things.

Sungjin stands up from his seat to walk around the desk before leaning against it. “When Brian and Mrs. Lee contacted us earlier this morning proposing the idea, we saw it for what it was—an opportunity. Brian needed the cover story to keep the role and you needed a chance to show your vulnerable side. We figured that a better moment will never present itself again.”

Wonpil adds, “Think about it, Jae. What other way to disprove your cold and unattached image than by letting the public know you were only acting that way because you were already secretly seeing someone behind the cameras? That the reason you shot down every flirty advance thrown your way was because you were already emotionally taken? None. There are no better options than this.”

Feeling lost and overwhelmed, Jae takes a seat on the bench right by the windows. As he mulls over their words, a small voice in his head whispers to him that maybe they’re right. Common sense tells him that he’s only being in denial by choosing not to accept their plan. But didn’t he just promise himself he won’t use someone else in order to get ahead in this industry?

As another attempt to put a stop to this, Jae appeals to Sungjin, “But we were hardly seen together in public before this. Only a few people would believe that we have been dating long before that paparazzi exposed us. Speaking of, how _did_ we even start dating? And,” he sits up straight as he feels that he’s actually making valid points with the arguments, “most of my fans have seen how adamant I’ve been to stay single. They’re not going to buy this story easily.”

When he’s met with a hesitant pause from the rest of them, Jae feels like he’s already won.

However, Wonpil speaks out again. “Hold on,” he fishes his work phone from his pocket. “I’ve actually combed through Twitter to find out what your fans thought about the article.”

And to Jae’s horror, the agent starts reading some of the tweets out loud.

“ _…oh god, are we finally going to see what boyfriend Jae looks like in real life…_ ”

“ _…get you a boyfriend who’s as painfully loyal to you as Jae Park is to Brian Kang that he had to the guts to shoot down Emma Watson’s birthday party invite …_ ”

Wonpil pauses, smiling a little as he shares, “This one’s my favorite,” before continuing, “ _…I’m glad that Jae has finally found someone. We support you, Jae! I genuinely hope that you can be happy now…_ ”

The words of the last tweet ring in Jae’s ears. He finds himself speechless and unable to respond right away as the words “I hope that you can be happy now” repeat themselves over and over again in his head.

Man, he really appreciates the love and support that his fans have given him throughout the years. He knows that he hasn’t been the best at fanservice but he’s always tried to reach out. If you look through his socials, you’ll see that they’re all mostly replies to some of his fans. Giving out helpful and practical advice to a fan seeking guidance, a witty gif reacting to a funny video they sent him, and even just mild trolling and bantering. He constantly makes sure that his responses never come off as too manufactured and impersonal.

Jae’s still not sold on the idea of fake dating Brian. But based on how happy and excited his fans seemed of the development in his “dating life”, he admits that he’s starting to consider it a little.

Sungjin’s voice snaps the actor from his thoughts. “See? They’re loving it already. And as for your back story, Brian came up with—”

Jae snorts, muttering, “Of course, he did.”

Brian is quick to retort, “At least I’m trying to be helpful. Which is something I can’t say the same for you.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sungjin interrupts them. “Enough. You’re both giving me a headache.” Sighing, Sungjin gives them a scolding look. “If we want this to work, you’re both going to have to play nice and bite your tongue to prevent from blurting out stupid things. Especially when there are other people in the room. Understood?”

Jae and Brian nod begrudgingly.

Satisfied, Sungjin continues, “Now as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, the story is that you two met through a mutual friend six months ago, immediately hit it off, and started dating two months after that.”

“How fucking cliché…” Jae oh, so helpfully comments.

Wonpil is about to intervene again to try to reign in his client when his work phone buzzes in his pocket.

“Got any better ideas?” Brian challenges the older with a quirk of his brow. “’Cause right now, all you’ve successfully contributed is being the resident asshole in this situation.”

Jae’s resulting smirk is so infuriating, Brian’s stopping himself from outwardly reacting to it. “Oh, please. If it wasn’t for me and my drunk self, you wouldn’t get casted in the first place.”

Brian scoffs at that. _The nerve of this guy!_ “Don’t flatter yourself, Park. You’re just as desperate for a role as me here.”

“But not desperate enough to _want_ to pretend—”

The theater actor cuts him off. “Who ever said I wanted to work with you?”

“Well, _you’re_ the one who contacted my team.” Jae reminds him, looking as smug as ever knowing that he got Brian there. “And _you’re_ the one who came up with the idea to fuel the rumor.”

Brian does a good job of looking unfazed as he feigns resigned exasperation, muttering under his breath, “And they said us theater actors are divas and difficult to work with…”

The comment lands where it’s supposed to as Jae spits back, “Now what the fuck was that supposed to mean?!”

Brian’s retort is locked and loaded on his lips when Wonpil suddenly speaks up, “Boys, boys!”

Jae and Brian turn to the agent at the same time. And it’s only then did they realize that, because of the back-and-forth thing they had going on, they were now on the edge of their seats. When they were throwing insults, they were a reflection of the other, unconsciously leaning closer in the heat of the moment.

Jae sits back on the bench with a huff of breath, feeling the residual ache in his head returning. He hears the theater actor mutter a silent apology for getting carried away.

 _Wow, ever the professional._ Jae mocks in his head.

“Don’t worry, Brian.” Wonpil tells him with a smile. “We’re used to Jae’s childish antics—”

Jae is quick to react. “Hey—”

“—what’s one more, right, Sungjin?” Wonpil finishes, not minding Jae’s noise of protest nor Brian’s second apology.

The theater actor’s neck and cheeks redden at the comment.

“I apologize for my client as well.” Mrs. Lee speaks up for him, addressing Sungjin and Wonpil. Brian isn’t looking at her—busy willing away the blush—but his ears easily pick up the amusement in his manager’s tone.

Wonpil waves it off with a light chuckle. “Like I said, we’re used to it. I’m sure you are, too.” Brian unconsciously pouts at Jessica’s response—laughing in agreement to the agent’s words.

Fortunately for both Jae’s and Brian’s pride, Wonpil redirects the conversation back to business. “And while you two were busy bickering, a more stable and undeniably believable backstory has been handed to us on a silver platter.”

To answer all of their resulting confused expressions, Wonpil reads out loud the new article from TMZ.

“ _…has been a love story five years in the making! It appears that Jae and Brian met through an acting class back in 2015. In this video submitted to us by an unnamed source, the two were acting out a romantic scene together…_ ”

Jae and Brian get up from their seats at the same time, rushing toward Wonpil’s side to get a better look of the said video.

True enough, it is indeed the clip of their final acting exercise from five years ago. Though the original five-minute video is cut into a minute or two, it is enough to deliver its desired effect. It starts from when Brian pulled Jae into his arm, including their applauded kiss, and ends with Jae’s kiss on Brian’s forehead.

The two actors are speechless as neither of them ever expected to see this video again, much less have it be used to fuel their agenda.

Wonpil reads on for the rest of the people in the room.

“ _…Our source shares, ‘Even our acting coach agreed that sparks were practically flying between them.’ (TMZ: uh, we can definitely see that) Still having a hard time believing? Well then, take it from Jae & Brian’s acting coach. It’s none other than the great Louise Jung! “I saw great potential in those two. Throughout every session, they seemed to have strong feelings for each other. _( _Yeah, annoyance._ Jae snorts to himself.) _And what I loved most is that they’ve always challenged each other to be better_ ( _well that’s a nice way of wording our rivalry-slash-competition,_ Jae commented) _. The scene they did in that video was so perfect, I’m glad to have seen it again…_ ”

“What are the responses?” Sungjin asks carefully as Wonpil pauses in reading.

The agent scrolls downwards. “Well, here’s a crude one but it’s the top comment so I guess people agree with it. ‘ _They may not have started fucking then but for sure, something was already up. I mean, that’s like the hottest lip-lock in this century, amiright?_ ’ It already has two-thousand up votes.”

The tense muscles on Sungjin’s shoulders sag in relief.

“Well?” He cocks an eyebrow at Jae. “There you go, a foolproof back story. Any more questions?”

Jae’s brain scrambles for another way out. He considers going rogue and release his own statement but his mind doesn’t permit himself to go that far. Because that role… it always goes back to his desire to play it. He genuinely believes it will be the gateway to escape the confinements of action movies, and, probably the most important reason of all, to prove something to that director.

Brian sees that Jae is deep in thought.

“Jae, I know we don’t get along.” Jae turns to him. “But please, I really want to keep this role. And it looks to me that you need this fake relationship to help you out as well. So, how about a truce? Work with me again after five years.”

He bravely offers his hand out to the older actor.

Jae’s eyes flit to it, the image of Brian gently and carefully adjusting him in his arms from the night before suddenly plays in his mind.

He looks back up to meet the younger’s hopeful gaze.

He realizes that he failed to take into account that _Brian_ came up with this idea. That Brian is _willing_ for Jae to use him as a ploy to get that role. Because Brian will also be using Jae to keep his own dream role. It’s basically a tit-for-tat situation. And if they play their cards right, it’s going to be a win-win conclusion for the two of them.

And from just like five years ago, if Brian wasn’t studying Jae’s face, he would have missed the small shift in the older’s expression. He sees the sharp glint of decision settling over Jae’s face and Brian is no longer surprised when the older grasps his outstretched hand.

“Alright, I’m in.”

The next day, they decide to do a test-run. It’s manager Lee’s idea to check first whether the two of them can successfully act as a couple in public before fully committing to the stunt. Sungjin and Wonpil agreed so they planned the two actors to have a lovely but very brief brunch at a small café.

And to control who gets to see it, the agent contacted a photographer of their own to shadow the two around and anonymously release the pictures themselves. Wonpil wisely decided not to tell Jae and Brian what the pap looks like so they would always be on their toes and never break character.

Sungjin, Wonpil, and Mrs. Lee continued planning well after the meeting while Jae and Brian both went home without so much as another word to the other. Unironically, they spent the rest of the day in their respective apartments mentally preparing themselves for _this_ role—to be each other’s boyfriend.

Jae shut himself off from all kinds of media, turning off his phone, never opening the TV, and keeping his laptop shut.

And Brian, sweet, sweet overachieving Brian, he read everything that there is to know about Jae Park. He wanted to be ready for anything and in order to do that, he needs to know who he will be working with for the foreseeable future—graduate of marketing and at the top of his class, youngest of two, surprisingly athletic, and allergic to basically everything.

He also watched all four of Jae’s movies in one sitting and he couldn’t help wondering why the older chose to only do action movies when he clearly had a lot of potential.

_These movies have more heart and grit than I thought._

(Of course, he had no idea of Jae’s dilemma so he just assumed that Jae chose this genre.)

And so, here they are now, sitting closely at a corner booth inside a small bakery. The lady by the cashier recognized them when they ordered—telling them how much she adores them together—so Jae had to politely ask her to keep it to herself. Sure, they want to be seen during this date but they also don’t want to appear being obvious about it. That’s why they’re both wearing clothes that are not too flashy, just sweatshirts and pants.

“So,” Brian starts with a smile, eating a small piece of his croissant before grabbing Jae’s hand on top of the table. “I had a really great time with you last night, love.”

 _Laying it on too thick, aren’t you?_ Jae thinks to himself.

He takes the pet name in stride, replying easily, “Me too, baby,” and sending a loving gaze to the younger.

He shifts their hands to intertwine their fingers, his thumb ‘absentmindedly’ rubbing circles on the younger’s palm.

Jae notices that the conversation a group of friends on the booth beside them have gone quiet, no doubt leaving themselves room to eavesdrop on the two celebrities.

Across from him, Brian pouts cutely, looking down at their hands and asking, “When are you going back to LA?”

Sighing heavily, as if regretful, he answers, “Next month.”

Brian tightens his hold on Jae’s fingers, muttering sadly, “I hate being apart from you.”

Jae frowns a little. _Where are you going with this, Brian?_

They’re really going in blind with this date; no script, no notes, just plain old ad libs. So, Jae feels like they should be more careful of the things they say. He’s afraid it might come back to bite them in the ass one of these days.

Jae uses his free hand to hook a finger under the younger’s chin, tilting his head to meet his eyes. “I know. But you can always come and visit me, Bribri.”

He sees a crack on the younger’s expression at the nickname before quickly composing himself.

Jae smirks at his tiny victory.

“Or,” Brian counters with a smirk of his own, “you can just extend your stay this time. We’ve already been together for two years but I’m still not used to being apart from you. Please, Jaehyungie?”

Now Jae’s the one who cracks a little. He blindly reaches with his foot under the table and accidentally nudging the younger’s shin. Brian does a great job of hiding the jolt of pain.

_Is he trying to get me stuck here in New York?_

With a small tilt of his head, he sends the younger a questioning look but still keeping his features in check as he coos at Brian, “Aw, babe, you know I’d do anything for you. I’ll have to ask my manager about it but if it were just up to me, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

Fortunately, Brian picks up on the look so with his free hand, he fishes out his phone to show Jae the lengthy email detailing their plan for the entire three months sent by Sungjin just last night.

 _Don’t tell me you didn’t read this?_ Brian questions with a small quirk of his eyebrow, his slanted eyes gleaming with the thought that he’s a step ahead of the older actor.

“Mom’s fiftieth birthday is in two months; can’t you at least stay until then? Here’s the details for the party.” He asks sweetly while subtly gesturing with his finger the third bullet in the email.

  * “Jae will stay in New York the whole time. They are to attend Brian’s mom’s birthday party. Since it’s a private one, take as much pictures with the relatives as possible so even though there aren’t paparazzi around, the pictures will surely be posted on social media.”



The birthday is definitely Brian’s idea.

He presented it as an option last night after reading an interview that Jae had from a couple of years ago, saying how much he misses his family after living alone in LA.

(“Wouldn’t that be a good story? That we’re basically Jae’s second family?” Sungjin was easily sold to the idea after Brian pitched it to him the night before.)

 _Oh, so Brian is laying down the premise to take advantage of these people who are still clearly listening on us…_ Jae admits it’s a smart move, the more domestic and familiar they appear, the better, in his opinion.

Mouthing a quick apology for having no clue about this to Brian ( _I shouldn’t have turned off my phone the entire time last night, now I really am going in blindly while Brian seems to know more than me. Step up your game, Jaehyung!_ ), the older quickly backtracks on his words.

Bringing a hand to cup the younger’s cheek, his thumb softly caressing over his cheekbone, Jae tells him, “You know what, I don’t care what my manager says. Sure, I’ll extend my stay with you for three months. Can’t have my Bribri missing me too much now, can I?”

Smiling widely as if delighted about the news, Brian leans forward to give him a peck on the forehead.

Jae holds in his surprise from the gesture by retaliating.

Feigning a pout, he points to his lips, saying, “I think I deserve another one, babe.”

But as expected, Brian doesn’t make it easy for him. “We’re out in public, my love.”

However, Jae only sees that as an opportunity. “Are you saying that you’re ashamed to be seen with me in public?” He continues, pouting, but deep down, Brian _knows_ just how smug he looks, can almost see the smirk breaking through the sad façade.

Brian realizes he’s put himself into a tough position. “Of course not. I’m the one who’s lucky to have you. Why would I be ashamed?”

Jae keeps the pout on, acting like a five-year-old denied of his favorite toy. “So, what’s stopping you? If it were the other way around, I would gladly—”

His words were cut off by Brian’s lips connecting with his.

Beside them, they hear a poorly-contained squeal of excitement followed by muted but harsh shushing. Choosing to ignore it, after all, they need these people to keep listening in on them to make sure that the news will travel fast about their date, Brian pulls away from the kiss with a blissful smile.

Chuckling at Jae’s adorable fake surprised face, Brian asks, “There. Happy now?”

“No fair, I wasn’t ready.”

“Aw, that’s too bad.” Brian teases, sporting a fake pout of his own.

Letting Brian have this round, Jae tries on a different approach. “Feed me a bite.”

Clicking his tongue, Brian does as he’s told, fondly muttering, “Such a baby.”

Breaking off the other end of his croissant, he lifts it towards Jae’s waiting lips. And when the bread is almost fully inside the older’s mouth, Jae playfully bites Brian’s fingers.

The younger gives out a yelp of surprise, finding Jae snickering at him.

 _Real mature, Jae_. Brian comments, fighting the urge to wipe his fingers off with a napkin. He figures it wouldn’t bode well for their cover.

“God, why am I in love with you again?” He wonders out loud, making his voice sound with nothing but absolute fondness, which is a complete opposite to his thoughts.

Jae shrugs, propping his elbow on the table to rest his head against his hand, he says, “Guess you’re stuck with me, babe. No take-backs.”

Leaning forwards, he kisses the tip of the younger’s nose, resulting into the younger unconsciously scrunching it at the tender touch. “I love you, Bribri.”

The other table is so quiet now that if a pin drops in the room, the sound will surely echo throughout the walls.

Not wanting to appear as if the other loves him more, Brian chases after his lips for one final kiss. “I love you so much, Jae.”

Jae cards his fingers through the younger’s hair, gazing at those intense, slanted eyes. Brian faces him head-on, not shying away from his eyes as he feeds the last bite to the older.

They chat for a bit, making up conversations and recalling old fake but harmless memories as they finish eating. And when it’s finally time for them to leave, the group of friends—three girls and one boy—approach them, asking for a picture.

“Hi, sorry to bother you on your date but we’re such big fans!” They guy starts, both shy and excited. “Do you mind if we take a picture?”

Jae and Brian are both internally pleased with the request, not only because there’s a high chance that they will post this on social media which would essentially mean that this whole date thing is a success.

But of course, they do a good job of hiding it by sharing an uncertain look with each other before Jae speaks up, “We would love to but,” he pauses, as if hesitant, “can you promise not to post it at least until we’re gone for like thirty minutes? Despite getting ‘exposed’—” he uses his two fingers to quote the word “—by the media, we’re still trying to go by day-to-day like any other couple just enjoying each other’s company.”

The four of them give eager reassuring nods, too starstruck to say much else.

“Alright, then,” Jae sighs. Gesturing at his boyfriend, he says, “Shall we, babe?”

As they stand to pose for the picture, with the two of them at the middle of the group, as the girl holding the phone in selfie-mode counts down starting at three, Jae surprises Brian by wrapping his hand around the crook of the younger’s neck, playfully rubbing at the skin on his collarbone and even daringly moving a bit lower, a silent challenge to see if the younger can keep himself from reacting.

Not one to let himself be bested, Brian reciprocates by wrapping his arm around Jae’s hips, his fingers teasingly caressing the older’s skin all the way to the waist underneath the fabric of his sweater and slyly making sure that the camera captures it too.

News travels fast about Jae’s decision to stay in New York all because Brian asked him to. Apparently, the picture that the group posted was captioned with what they “accidentally overheard” from the couple’s conversation.

As expected, people were freaking out about the picture. Many were quick to point out both Jae’s and Brian’s playful and exploring fingers, happily claiming that the two are the type of couple who enjoys teasing each other and are not too conscious about showing affection.

Along with this, the pictures taken by Wonpil’s photographer friend were released anonymously. It was of them gazing into each other’s eyes with their fingers intertwined on the table. Another is of them going back to Jae’s apartment, hand-in-hand.

The two were a little surprised at that because they honestly thought no one was following them. And the only reason Brian followed him home is because the older’s apartment is closer to the bakery—only two blocks away—and Brian needed a quick change of clothes.

Jae was kind enough to let him borrow his shirt, but of course, he was the reason why Brian needed to change in the first place ( _This clumsy idiot spilled coffee on my shirt!_ ). He figured it’s the least he could do. He doesn’t want to appear like a bad boyfriend by letting Brian go home with his shirt ruined like that.

Not long after Brian went home, Sungjin emails to inform them that he’ll have the NDAs ready in a couple of days. Based on the public’s response, the test-run is a huge success and so, their PR stunt is definitely a go. All five of them are in such high-spirits due to the media attention; Sungjin, Wonpil, and Jessica are excited to watch the two actors keep up their false relationship.

However, Jae and Brian’s celebratory mood doesn’t last long because, the next few days after that, Brian is forced to move in to Jae’s apartment.

Apparently, because of the one picture where they were seen going to the older’s home after their date, the public assumed that they were already living together.

(Wonpil’s photographer friend thought that it was still part of their date so he kept taking pictures of when they both entered the apartment building. Which is fair, considering that Jae and Brian basically forgot about his existence entirely because they were too busy trying to one-up the other’s advances.)

After all, since the media now know that Jae and Brian have been together for two years, which is basically equivalent to ten years in Hollywood relationships, it was obvious to their fans at this point (thanks to that lengthy Instagram caption detailing everything that the group completely eavesdropped on).

And, since the success of this fake relationship is heavily reliant on the public’s opinion, they have no choice but to go along with the narrative.

 _Thank god my house has a guest room. I don’t know which crime I’d be able to commit if we had to share a bed together too._ Jae grumbles to himself as he opens the door to an unamused Brian carrying his luggage in the hallway.


	4. come by it honestly, i swear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They still have a lot to learn about each other—more so Brian than Jae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning: implied/mild sexual harassment.  
> Please note that I've already updated the tags accordingly.

**_BUYING GROCERIES NEVER LOOKED SO CUTE!_ **

_US Weekly_

_Jaebri, the nation’s favorite couple ATM, were seen being cute and as in love as ever while buying fresh vegetables, fruits, and snacks! (Yes, Jaebri! Promoting a healthy lifestyle, we stan!)_

_The two were photographed at Whole Foods Sunday morning doing the boring and mundane chore of grocery shopping (see pictures below)._

_Who knew that Jae and Brian are one of us too, right? And here, we thought that they came down from heaven to grace us mere mortals of their wonderful (and incredibly handsome) presence!_

_But anyways, I think we can all agree that, in seeing these two so happy and unbothered together, we’re painfully reminded that we can never find a love like theirs. Sigh..._

_Well this took a depressing turn._

_But fortunately, you can just tune in for more Jaebri updates so we can all vicariously experience this kind of love too!_

**_BLIND ITEM!_ **

_HollywoodLife_

_Which almost-plucked-out-of-a-fairytale couple was asked to leave the premises of the Metropolitan Museum of Art for doing too much PDA?_

_This famous pair were out having a lovely date Monday afternoon and taking sweet pictures together when they got asked by a security personnel to keep it PG or get out. Apparently, our couple couldn’t keep their hands off each other and were often seen sharing not-so-innocent kisses at the Met._

_Comment down below on who you think this couple is!_

tiktokerpro:

shawn and camila? but why hide their names when they’re always doing pda anyway

kpopboysaremyonlybabies:

joe jonas and sophie turner? oh wait, they didn’t say married couple

maximolimisbae:

nah, my money is on jae and brian. I kinda expected them to not give a shit anymore, now that they’re out in public after successfully dating secretly for two years

***

It has already been a full month since Brian has moved into Jae’s apartment and surprisingly, things have been quiet and... civil between them. It helps that the truce they had is still as intact as ever.

They didn’t immediately start that way though. Similar to when they first met, they got into a few petty arguments over the most mundane things—whose turn it was to take out the trash, fighting over the remote, taking too long to shower (too bad there was only one bathroom in the apartment). Needless to say, for the first couple of days, they struggled to find their footing. For Brian, the new place took a while getting used to.

Take their first week of living together as another example. They mostly stayed locked inside their respective rooms—Jae in the main bedroom and Brian in the guest room. Their meals were mostly take-outs and deliveries, both too proud to cook for the other or too shy to ask the other to cook for them.

However, it was during week two of eating too much greasy food that Brian grew tired of pizza and McDonald’s so he finally decided to cook steak for two and made broth from what was left of the vegetables in the fridge.

Wordlessly, he placed the two plates and bowls of soup on the coffee table before sitting on the other end of the couch, joining the older in watching Spiderverse on the tv.

As the theater actor began digging through his food, he heard Jae muttering softly, “Thank you, Brian,” before picking up his own plate and taking a sip of the warm soup. Brian just gave a hum of acknowledgment in return.

They continued eating while watching quietly. And when the movie came to an end, Jae leaned forward to gather the dirty plates in his hands from the coffee table.

The older started, looking anywhere but at Brian, “Thanks for making some for me, too. I really appreciate it.”

Brian was slightly surprised by the older’s words. He expected Jae to eat the food that he made without so much as thanking him, much less acknowledging what he did. So, after hearing all these words now, a small smile graced his face and he found himself replying, “No problem. And hey, you don’t have to do all the dishes.”

He reached to try to grab at least his own plate and utensils but Jae pulled them away from his grasp.

“It’s the least I could do, you cooked for us.” Jae finally stood up from the couch, heading to the kitchen. He looked over his shoulder and threw the next words as an afterthought, “Plus, that was really delicious, man. Much better than any take out,” before completely disappearing from the room.

Brian felt somewhat shy and validated by the simple compliment.

The very next day, they made a quick trip to the grocery store. They bought enough food to last them at least a month. Brian picked out the ingredients for the meals he wanted to make and Jae took it upon himself to add to their cart all the supplies they needed—their own choices of shampoo, soaps, and other bath essentials. Sharing a bathroom together, it has given Jae the knowledge of the theater actor’s product preferences. And while he was busy looking for the specific brands, he didn’t notice how mindful Brian was of avoiding ingredients that he knew the older was allergic to.

So, starting then, they formed that routine.

Brian does the cooking and Jae does the dishes, which then ended with him doing all the cleaning too.

At the start of the third week of living together, they got a reminder from Sungjin about needing to do another public appearance. They were lounging on the couch by the living room doing their own thing—Jae was scrolling through social media and Brian was familiarizing himself with the script—when their phones notified them almost at the same time of the email. 

After checking the meticulously organized (but highly classified) spreadsheet containing their specific plans for this pretend relationship, they read the date suggestions written there.

“Going to a museum, strolling in central park, or kayaking in the Hudson river.” Brian read out loud.

These ideas were mostly cheap and unoriginal because Wonpil wisely advised that, since Jae and Brian were supposedly already dating for more than 2 years, it would appear more realistic, down-to-earth, and domestic taking a lovely stroll than, say, having an extravagant dinner at an upscale restaurant. Sure, they also planned for the two to do that as well but they reserved those kinds of dates for special occasions.

When he didn’t get a response from Jae, he considered the options himself before suggesting, “Wanna try the kayaking one?”

“Hm?” Jae replied, distracted, as he was busy tapping something on his phone.

“For the date tomorrow.” Brian clarified.

“Oh,” Jae responded, still not looking away from the screen. “What are Sungjin’s suggestions?”

Sighing, Brian asked of him, “Can you please focus for a bit? What are you so busy doing anyway?”

“Shit, sorry.” Jae apologized before finally locking his phone. “I was just doing a quick Q&A with my fans on Twitter. Sorry. I’m all ears now, I promise.”

Nodding, Brian repeated the options. “So, what do you feel like doing tomorrow?” He asked once he was finished reading.

Jae thought for a bit, his forefinger absentmindedly tapping against his lower lip that was jutted out in concentration.

Brian caught himself tracing the movement, unaware that he even started looking at the older in the first place.

Jae’s words stopped Brian from mentally chiding himself. “I kinda want to do the museum thing. Looking at the exhibits, at least I will now have an excuse not to stare at your face the entire time.”

A week ago, Brian would have been offended. But because of the quiet understanding that resulted when Brian cooked dinner for them that one night, Jae’s words no longer had a bite to them. If anything, he sounded teasing.

Well, kind of.

They still weren’t exactly friends, per se. If you asked Brian what he would call them, he would say that they’re colleagues. As if they’re working in the same company but from different departments. Nothing but professional, civil, and mutual respect for the other. After all, they were both working to achieve a common goal. But nothing much had passed that yet.

Brian nodded. “Alright. Want to go to the Met?”

“Sure.”

Later that night, as he was mindlessly scrolling through his socials, he found himself visiting the older’s account because he had nothing better to do as he laid in bed. He skimmed the most recent tweets, seeing that the questions Jae chose to answer were mostly harmless. The usual this-or-that questions, his favorite song or movie at the moment, just things that aren’t too personal. However, one question in particular caught Brian’s eye.

 **@jaebritrash** : who’s more loving and affectionate, you or brian? **#AskJae**

To which Jae replied with a cheeky and simple, “Me, obviously ;)”

Brian snorted upon reading. 

Why Jae chose to answer this one question when he avoided the others about their relationship was beyond him. But scrolling through the replies, he kind of got an idea why. Now, the fans were gushing over Jae being the perfect boyfriend. They were saying how they didn’t expect that it was Jae who’s more loving. And maybe, just maybe, Brian was the one who’s lucky to have the older after all.

Brian’s ego was a little bit bruised. His competitive side being poked and awakened once again. He was pretty sure that Jae chose to answer this question to one-up the theater actor. After all, even in the midst of their truce, their quiet competition to show the public who loves who more is still going pretty strong.

So, the very next day, he decided to do something to counter Jae’s claim.

(Remember, Brian can be petty sometimes.)

It was when they had been walking around the Met for half an hour already that Brian found himself kind of enjoying the day a little more than he thought he would. Which was huge for him considering that he thought he wouldn’t get the chance to fully appreciate walking around inside the museum, thought that they would be too busy trying to keep up the stunt than do anything else.

But on the contrary, so far, all they were able to do was take cute pictures together and of each other while admiring a painting or two. Their competitiveness only manifested when they tried to see who could take the most artistic shots (to be posted on their own Instagram accounts later on). Both of them actually had the chance to closely analyze some of the pieces that they found interesting. Surprisingly, they felt that they weren’t acting the whole time. 

Brian concluded that this was the best choice among all of the other date options Sungjin suggested.

He was in the middle of looking at an art piece from 1899 by the French impressionist Claude Monet called “Bridge over a Pond of Water Lilies” when he felt Jae standing closely behind him. The older actor stood there to admire the painting over Brian’s shoulder. Brian had half a mind to notice the sweet familiar scent of the older’s perfume before fully focusing his attention back to the artwork.

“I love pieces like this,” Jae shared to him, his warm breath ghosted past the lobe of Brian’s ear, “my eyes are always drawn to those that perfectly capture the warm hues of nature.”

Brian hummed his reply, agreeing. The painting does have a calming feel to it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a few people stealing furtive glances at them. Fortunately, ever since they got to the museum, no one felt brave enough to approach them for a picture or to strike up a conversation. However, Brian did notice one guy that was discreetly pointing his phone at them, no doubt taking pictures or filming, or both.

Subtly, the theater actor studied the person’s face and realized that he had seen the same man in the last three sections of the museum that him and Jae were just in.

Hiding his face against the crook of the older’s neck, he whispered, “Jae, I think we’re being followed.”

He felt the older stiffen against his back. 

“Don’t look now but a guy to our right is constantly holding his phone up at us.”

“What should we do?” Jae asked him just as quietly and secretly, his cheek resting against the theater actor’s temple to further help hide the younger’s face. “Do you want me to approach him and ask him to stop?”

(Oh, that’s another new thing that developed between them. They consult with each other regarding these things now.)

“No need.” Brian sighed. “We’ll just pretend we didn’t know better and continue on with this date like always. There’s a huge chance that he’s a pap so let’s just use it to our advantage.”

With a sigh, Jae nodded in agreement before he wrapped his arms around the younger, hugging him from behind and keeping up the charade.

“Then let’s give him a show, something that’ll surely give him the shot he was waiting for to get him off our backs.” Jae whispered as he leaned his body closer against Brian’s frame and buried the tip of his nose on top of the younger’s head, a gesture that’s oh, so sweet and loving.

Just like that, Brian was reminded of Jae’s tweet from last night. And he figured now was the perfect time to show the fans who really was the more affectionate one between them.

Spurred by the competitiveness incited by the tweet, Brian shifted in Jae’s arms, tilted his head sideways, and nuzzled his nose against the older’s neck. He released a slow, heavy sigh, letting his breath warm the soft skin of Jae’s throat.

He felt Jae’s arms tightened around him, no doubt not expecting the intimate nature of the younger’s advances.

Brian flitted his eyes downward to see that goosebumps started to rise along the older’s arms.

As an attempt to keep up, Jae tilted his head downwards to place a soft, gentle kiss on Brian’s temple. One of his arms snaked down to grip the younger’s hip underneath the fabrics of his coat and shirt.

But since Brian was already expecting the older’s approach, his resulting move was bolder, more daring.

Moving even closer, Brian placed kitten kisses along the column of Jae’s neck. He began peppering the older with slow, open-mouthed, and feather-light kisses.

Brian felt the tips of the older’s fingers dig into the skin on his hip.

Smirking to himself, he opened his lips a little and ran the edges of his teeth against Jae’s skin, teasing and challenging him to react.

And Jae was about to do something in retaliation when they both heard someone say, “Excuse me.”

Jolted apart, Brian and Jae both turned their heads to the direction of the sound and were surprised to find a uniformed man talking to them. Brian read the word ‘Security’ written on a shiny pin on his left chest.

The older man continued, as if answering the two actors’ confused faces, “Public displays of affection are strictly prohibited inside the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I’m going to have to ask you two to exit the premises.”

Later that evening, Jae and Brian got scolded by Sungjin in his office. Lucky enough, Wonpil was there to save their heads as he reasoned that the stunt they pulled actually gave them good publicity. After contacting the online magazine that bought the pictures from the paparazzi, Wonpil was able to convince them not to reveal the couple’s identities, that it attracts more attention to have the people guessing.

And it proved to be true.

Not long after the article was posted, the response was massive. Though a lot of people assumed it was Jaebri, they only seemed overjoyed by the idea. Of course, there were also others who weren’t as amused but if anything, people just generally found the story funny. 

“This whole petty competition thing you had going on needs to stop.” Sungjin told them, still in the middle of berating the two.

And in seeing the surprised look on their faces, he continued, “Yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice. You’re both trying to show who loves who more. You kept trying to one-up the other then one thing leads to another and all of the sudden you’ve gone too far. There’s no room for more errors in this operation, okay? Promise me you’ll act more wisely after this.”

“Promise.” Jae and Brian muttered together, looking down and not meeting Sungjin’s gaze.

“Now, now.” Wonpil intervened with a comforting pat on his husband’s shoulder. “Cut them some slack, honey. I’m not completely against this petty competition of theirs. After all, people seemed to enjoy the results of it too. But, granted, I also agree that we need to be wiser about this.”

Sungjin sighed as he leaned back against his chair, tired. “What do you suggest, Pil-ie?”

“How about hand signals?” Wonpil suggested.

“Hand signals?” Jae repeated with a confused frown.

“Yeah,” Wonpil nodded, “it’s a way for you two to communicate important things during a date without appearing too obvious about it. For example, a flick to the nose means ‘follow my lead’, and, um—”

“—oh, I get it.” Jae interrupted. “So, it depends on what the situation calls for but if we need to tell the other to ‘tone it down a little’, we give a single tap on the temple. And two taps if we need to ‘amp up the sweetness’ or whatever.”

Brian nodded slowly in understanding. He added, “And touch a finger to your palm to say ‘let’s leave’ if one of us feels as if we’ve attracted too much attention. And a hand on the inside of your wrist means ‘stay’.”

“Good.” Sungjin commented, pleased with the helpful input from the two actors. “Feel free to add more along the way if necessary.”

Wonpil summarized the hand signals so the two wouldn’t forget before Jae and Brian were finally dismissed from the office.

And when they got back to the apartment, as Brian started preparing their dinner—instant ramen this time because they were too hungry to wait any longer—Jae kept him company in the kitchen to discuss the events of the date.

“So,” Jae started, hesitant. He was sitting at a chair on one side of the island, watching Brian attentively stirring the noodles to keep them from getting soggy. “Today was really... something, huh?”

Brian turned towards him. He didn’t know how to properly voice his thoughts at first so they just looked at each other for a second, speechless and waiting. But then, Brian’s blank expression cracked, revealing the embarrassed smile that he had been trying so hard to keep to himself. 

Then, the smile stretched so wide until he couldn’t stop his emotions from spilling out altogether as he started giggling. The whole ridiculousness of their predicament just catching up to him at the moment.

Jae just continued watching him at first until he, too, finally gave in and started giggling. A warm blush crept its way from his neck all the way to the tips of his ears as his tiny giggles suddenly erupted into full-on laughing. 

“I-I swear to god, I never imagined that would happen to me on a date. Ever!” Jae managed to get out in between uncontrollable fits of laughter, slapping his hand on the counter for good measure.

Brian was no better as he began clutching his stomach from laughing too much. “Me too! This was definitely a first!”

“I was so embarrassed when he walked us out!”

“It was a different kind of walk of shame!” Brian agreed.

A couple more minutes had passed when they finally started to calm down.

Brian was panting a little while Jae wiped away the tears at the edge of his eyes.

“Oh god,” The older groaned before he rested his head against the counter. “It’s a good thing Sungjin told us to lie low for the next week. I don’t think I would be able to go out so soon after today.”

Brian chuckled in agreement before remembering the noodles. 

“Oh shit!”

He immediately turned off the stove to inspect the damage done.

Surprised, Jae’s head snapped back up to see what the matter was, looking like a confused kid with his eyebrows scrunched together, head tilted, and his lips pursed in a tiny pout. 

“Did they turn soggy?”

Brian picked up chopsticks to check. He sighed in relief when the noodles still felt a bit tender. “They’re good. But a minute longer and they probably would’ve been.”

And so, like the nights before this, they ate dinner on the couch while watching another movie in the living room. Adding it to the growing list of routines that they began doing together.

At the fourth week of living under the same roof, they understandably and willingly started spending more time together. Since they were told to lie low and mostly just stay home for the time being, they tried a lot of things to keep themselves entertained.

They played video games for hours on end, watched the movie versions of some of their favorite plays on the tv, and they even rearranged the furniture in the living room to make space for the thousand puzzle pieces that they decided to put together on the floor.

And sometimes they would just lounge around, sharing stories from past projects and talking about certain experiences in the industry.

“Oh, one time when I was late to rehearsals, the stage director made me stay behind to polish the entire stage all by myself.” Brian recounted.

“That’s rough.” Jae commented with a slight wince. “Why were you late though?”

With a sheepish smile, Brian shared, “My favorite pizza place had an early bird deal so I stood in line to get a free box of it.”

Jae let out a loud laugh, completely surprised by the answer. “Don’t tell me you told the director the truth?”

Brian chuckled. “I had to! I was still holding the box with half the slices in it when I got there.”

“You’re crazy, Brian.” Jae told him with a shake of his head, a fond smile evident on his face.

Gradually, during the past month, Jae and Brian no longer disappeared off into their own rooms during the day. Mostly, when one of them feels bored, they would check to see what the other has been up to. And they would either teasingly bother the other or just join in on whatever activity they were doing at the moment.

And one time, when Jae was busy scrubbing away in the bathroom, Brian volunteered to do both their laundries even though it wasn’t his turn to do so.

As he was going through the newly-washed clothes, folding them neatly over his bed, he came across Jae’s shirt from his own pile. It was the shirt that he borrowed from the older all those weeks ago when they had their first official fake date at the café. He already gave the older his clothes after getting them out of the dryer so Brian just made a mental note to return this grey long-sleeved shirt back to him later on. He felt too lazy to get up and do it at the moment, already decided that doing one giant and tiring chore for the day is enough. So, he just included the shirt again with the rest of his clothes inside the closet. 

(Where it will sit, untouched, for the next weeks after that, having been forgotten to actually be returned. Not that Jae even asked for it back.)

They were on the floor a couple of hours after dinner, a quarter done in putting together the Avengers Endgame movie poster puzzle, when Brian got a reminder from his calendar. 

Upon reading the event, he couldn’t help feeling a little anxious. It said that their first official script-reading is next week.

“What’s wrong?” Jae asked after noticing that the younger had stopped helping.

“Oh, um... nothing.” Brian lied. He was still a little insecure about the fact that his audition felt lacking according to his favorite playwright. And it didn’t help at all that he actively procrastinated trying to embody Christian in his free time. “I’m feeling a little tired. I think I’ll just call it a night.”

He could tell that Jae didn’t believe him but thankfully, the older didn’t push as he replied, “Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I think I’m gonna turn in early too.”

Now _that_ Brian knows is also a lie. 

During the weeks they’ve been living together, he has noticed that there hasn’t been a night that Jae slept before him. At first, he was surprised to find out that Jae was a morning person. It wasn’t that he thought the older was a lazy bum who usually started his days at noon, but it was because he knows that the older always stays up at night much later than he does. Even when Brian was staying up late, the older was still the last one to go to bed. And in some mornings, Brian would notice the additional empty cans of beer—which were clearly not there the night before—whenever he would take out the trash. Often he would find himself wondering how much sleep Jae gets at night (if he even manages to sleep at all on most nights) because he always seemed fine in the morning.

But since he felt like it’s none of his business to ask, after all, Jae also let the younger’s tiny white lie slide, Brian just stood up and said, “Good night, Jae.”

And inside his room, he began rereading the script while getting comfortable in bed. (Yes, Brian has grown accustomed to the guest room now, making it a bit of his own by arranging the furniture according to his liking even though he knows he’ll only stay there for two more months).

He finally did something that he should have been doing in preparation for the role—practicing the songs. He flipped through pages of music sheets, checking the amount of songs that he’ll sing, which is about thirty to forty percent of the entire track list. But it’s fine, a bit unusual given his work ethic but otherwise still acceptable. He already had a lot of his lines memorized. He deserved to let loose a few times too. He figured he still had more than a couple of weeks left to perfect them anyway when the actual rehearsals start. 

With his earphone plugged in on one ear, playing the pre-recorded orchestral version of the song sent to him by the musical director, Brian’s voice started out at a soft and quiet rhythm. He sang one of the duets in his room. It was a sweet love song with Christian and Satine declaring their feelings for each other. 

He sang the entirety of the song a few times, keeping his crooning voice low and quiet. Not only because it was what the song demanded, but also because he was mindful. He didn’t want to disturb Jae in the other room.

(But unbeknownst to the theater actor, Jae is already listening the whole time on the other side of their shared wall. The sweet sound of Brian’s voice providing some sort of relief for his sleeplessness.)

***

Today, Tuesday morning, is when they officially hit the one-month mark of living together. Not that Jae is actively counting. Surprisingly to him, things have been going great between them. He’s happy with the recent development in their work-relationship. It’s natural, unexpected but not at all unwelcome, and organic. Because that’s the thing, Jae feels like they’re actually friends now. And that working together for this long isn’t as dreadful as he thought it would be.

Jae remembers the talk they had while passing back and forth a full bottle of white wine some nights ago (they’re too lazy to do dishes then so they ditched using glasses altogether). Halfway through, they got looser with words. They were also tired from the date they had at the museum and getting their heads chewed off by Sungjin when Brian let out a thought that he'd had for a few days before then.

“You know, out of all the other actors I could be doing this stunt with, I’m glad it’s you.” 

Jae snorted. “Are you getting all sappy on me now?” The words had no malice in them, just plain-old banter.

And Brian knew that so he gave out a light chuckle before clarifying, “I mean, when we first met, I was so infuriated by you. Now that I know better, it was probably because I finally found my match in acting. Before you, I never met someone who’s as committed to doing stupid, petty things as me.”

Jae nodded in acknowledgment. He laughed, good-natured, at the statement. “Yeah. We were kinda stupid and petty back then, huh?”

“We really were. But hey, if we weren’t that way, this stunt would never even see the light of day. I probably wouldn’t get the role and you would still have zero clue on what to do with the screenwriter’s proposition. I guess, in that sense, coach Jung was right.”

Brian continued upon seeing the look of confusion on Jae’s face, “That in a way, our competitiveness pushed each other to be better actors.”

Silence settled between them as they both registered the words, considering the truth behind them.

After a few moments, Jae gave a mocking cringe reaction and said, “Being nice doesn’t suit you, Brian. I might actually miss your mean, bratty—”

“—oh, don’t remind me—” Brian told him with a rueful smile, bringing a hand up to cover his face in half guilt and half embarrassment.

“—no, but for real, I agree with you.” Jae admitted with a soft sigh. “I like that we’re getting along now. It feels kinda nice.”

They grew quiet again. This time it’s purely comfortable and amicable, contemplative even.

It was Brian who broke the silence then, muttering something that he should have said weeks ago. 

“Hey, Jae...” the older faced him, curious, as he paused to gather his courage, “I really am sorry for what I said to you back at the bar. It was uncalled for and not at all true.”

Jae studied his face while passing the bottle back to him. After a while, he released a heavy breath. “It’s cool. Water under the bridge. I mean, we’re good now, right?”

A soft smile slowly stretched across Brian’s face.

“Yeah, we’re good.” He repeated.

Snapping himself from the memory of that conversation, Jae figures that it’s good for him to finally have a roommate. He now has someone to talk to (or bother, more likely) when he’s bored—an actual person beside him and not just people that he can reach from the other side of his phone—someone to play his favorite video games with, and the puzzle that he had been wanting to put together was finished in half the time he thought it would take. 

And the fact that Brian is a good cook is just a pleasant bonus.

Just like now, as he’s left alone for the most part of the day because Brian had to attend a script-reading, Jae wonders how he has been able to entertain himself before living together with the younger. It’s been about five hours and he already feels bored out of his mind.

So, to counter that, he did the only thing he could think of at the moment—cleaning the entire apartment. 

_At least it’s more productive than just lounging on the couch watching movies all day._ He reasons with himself.

He’s in the middle of sweeping the entire floor of the house when he remembers that it’s been three weeks since the last time he cleaned their rooms. He decides that now is a great time to do that because Brian is away. 

Opening the door to the guest room, with rags and a vacuum cleaner at the ready, Jae heads for the farthest corner and starts by wiping down the windows. Since it’s almost dusk, the room is bathed in soft orange light coming in through the open curtains—a complete contrast to the drawn blackout curtains in his bedroom. 

Looking around the space, he nods a little in appreciation. The bed is already made up, there are only less than a handful of clothes lying on the floor, and the desk is mostly organized as it is. He doesn’t have much work to do here after all as Brian probably did his best to keep the room clean. 

But just to make sure, he runs the vacuum cleaner loosely over the carpeted floor. With his free hand, he picks up the few clothes along the way. Once he’s done with the task, he proceeds to wipe down every open surface in the room.

And it’s only when he’s wiping at the desk that he pauses after seeing the picture frames on top of it. He abandons the rag to pick up the one on the farthest right corner. It holds the picture of a way younger version of Brian grinning at the camera and sitting in the middle of two adults who had their arms wrapped around Brian’s shoulders. Jae assumes they’re the younger’s parents. After all, the man looks so much like Brian does now.

He studies the kid’s face and can’t help mirroring the bright smile on it. Young Brian is sitting on a thick layer of snow with his pants and padded jacket covered in more snow.

He wonders if Brian’s family lives close to him, unlike Jae’s who chose to stay in Seoul. The last time he’s seen his parents in person was from two years ago when he visited during the weekend of his mom’s 50th birthday. Other than that, they mostly just call each other from time to time. Jae tells them that he’s just been so busy lately that’s why he hadn’t been calling as much as he promised he would before moving to LA.

(And he’s been avoiding answering their calls now that his relationship with the theater actor was plastered all over the internet and media outlets. He didn’t want to have to lie to them too.)

But the truth is, he feels a little bit of remorse that they still haven’t fully accepted his career. His mother has stopped trying to convince him to go back home now so there’s at least some progress. However, Jae wishes that there will come a time when they will feel proud and show even just a hint of excitement for any of his projects.

He studies Brian’s family picture once more and wonders how supportive they are of Brian’s career too.

“I see you found my parents.”

Jae startles at the sudden voice. Thankfully, he doesn’t drop the portrait as he gingerly returns it to its original place back on the desk before he makes any damage.

Brian chuckles behind him. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Willing his heart to calm down, Jae picks up the rag and faces the younger. “It’s okay. And I was just finishing up here. Sorry for snooping on your stuff—”

Brian waves him off while walking deeper into the room and plopping himself face-down onto the bed.

“Not your fault you were curious. I was a pretty cute kid.” His voice is muffled by the pillow but Jae could almost hear the mischievous tone behind it.

Deciding to play along, Jae agrees. “You were just the _cutest_ kid,” he accentuates the word, making Brian look up at him in surprise. “That’s what got me curious, really. What happened, man? Did puberty hit you hard or something?”

Brian realizes he’s only being sarcastic so he just deadpans, “Ha-ha,” before rolling over and staring at the ceiling.

“Anyways,” Jae starts while gathering the cleaning supplies in both hands. “How did the script-reading go?”

At the mention of the event, Brian groans. “Terrible.”

“Why? What happened?” Jae asks with a frown.

“Well, it was terrible for _me_.” Brian amends. “Hopefully people didn’t notice it much but I really am having a hard time connecting with my character.”

Jae hums in understanding. “Want to know what I always do whenever I struggle with that aspect?”

Brian sits up in bed, intrigued. “You’ve had this problem too?”

Jae gives him a dry look. “Dude. For three consecutive movies, I played as an indestructible teenage spy.”

“Alright, I get it.” The younger raises his hands in defense. “So, what do you do when that happens?”

“Easy. I seek the help of an older, more experienced actor.” He informs Brian with a shrug. “Let’s bounce ideas off each other, let me help you run your lines.”

An unreadable look passes on Brian’s face before he says, “I genuinely appreciate the offer but, no offense, Jae. I’ve been an actor for almost seven years and you for five. I don’t think what you said applies to us.”

At that, Jae just smirks, self-satisfaction rising to the surface. “At least that’s what me and my team wanted the media and everyone to believe.”

“What are you talking about?”

Jae takes a seat on the edge of the bed, the side of his thigh a few inches away from Brian’s hip, as he prepares to share the story. He figures it’s safe to tell Brian because, for some unknown reason, he trusts the theater actor to keep his words to himself.

“Before I auditioned for _The Chase_ , it was my idea to start with a blank slate, at least on paper. I told Wonpil and Sungjin to keep my acting history a secret because, wouldn’t it sound better that a newbie actor who seemingly had no prior experience suddenly does well on his first acting job? Well, they both agreed with me so we never published it to the media. And since I used screen names for all of my small projects back in Seoul, fortunately they didn’t get traced back to me yet.”

“Whoa… wait, what?” Brian appears to be confused. Which is understandable considering that this changes a lot of the things he originally thought about Jae. “So how long have you really been acting?”

Jae thinks back to his first year in college. “Back then, I mostly performed at small-town theaters but let’s see... five years in Hollywood plus another four when I was a part of the theater club while studying marketing. So, I guess nine years.”

Brian’s eyes widen almost comically. “Oh my god… _nine years_? That’s almost a decade! And you’re only like, what, twenty-seven in international age? That’s impressive, Jae—oh, I’m sorry, should I call you Park Jaehyung-sunbaenim from now on?”

Jae lets out a laugh at that. “God, please no.” He feels a little flustered with the way Brian is watching him right now, as if he’s suddenly seeing him in a new light. 

So, naturally, Jae proceeds to do what he does best—deflecting. “Well, my offer still stands. Let’s run lines together. Plus, I’m kind of curious to know more about this play of yours.”

Brian seems like he doesn’t want to let the matter go that easily, but since he feels like he really needs all the help he can get, he wastes no time accepting.

“Okay, let’s start after dinner.” He makes a move to stand. “What do you want to have? Any requests?”

“I’m kind of craving for some chicken right now.”

Brian nods. “I’ll see what I can do.” And just like that, he jumps off the bed and is out the door, leaving Jae still sitting there.

Chuckling to himself because of the younger’s sudden eagerness, Jae goes to follow after him. 

After returning the cleaning items in the supply closet, he slouches on the couch. He pulls out his phone from his pocket to scroll through social media as he waits for the food to cook. 

When he opens Twitter, he’s a little confused at the sudden spike in the number of his mentions.

_Brian and I haven’t been out in public for like a few days now, surely people didn’t have much to talk about us. Right?_

Scrolling through his notifications, he sees a number of online media accounts sharing almost the same content and tagging him.

And as he reads the caption on one of them, his blood runs cold in his veins.

**_The award-winning director Axel Greenfield turns 40 today! Let’s take a look back in all of his brilliant movies and the actors that he introduced to Hollywood along the way!_ **

Against his better judgment, Jae clicks on the article.

_In celebration of one of Hollywood’s finest, Axel Greenfield’s, birthday, we’ve created a top-ten list of all of his best movies throughout the years._

He skims through most of it but when he reaches the fourth movie on the top of the list, his hands start shaking. It’s really then that Jae realizes he might as well be a masochist because he still continues reading. Because even though his heart starts beating erratically, his palms start sweating, and his breaths feel a little short, he just couldn’t bring himself to look away.

_The Top 4 spot goes to the heart-gripping action movie of the decade, The Chase! It was in this movie that Axel Greenfield has proven his ability to think outside the box as he managed to deliver a new and refreshing take on a genre as common as this. Having dominated the box office sales back in 2015, Mr. Greenfield surely has a knack for bringing actors into the limelight. At the beginning of filming the movie, doubts about Jae Park who was then a bright-eyed newbie actor got casted to play the role of Maximo Lim. But after seeing the movie, no one could deny that Jae was perfect for the role. And starting then, the twenty-seven-year-old’s Hollywood career just skyrocketed. _

_Axel Greenfield sure has an eye for spotting hidden gems in our midst. And we believe that if it hadn’t been for the director’s choice to take a leap of faith with Jae, we wouldn’t get to know this brilliant actor today! So, thank you, Axel Greenfield, for helping to create and cultivate Jae Park the way that he is now!_

A loud ringing sound reverberates in his ears.

The amount of praises and the words ‘helping to create and cultivate Jae Park’ kept circulating his thoughts. Jae’s brain latches onto those words over and over. Not because he believes it to be true but because he’s starting to doubt whether or not he’s made much progress on his own over the past five years.

Did he ever prove to that director just how wrong he was for claiming Jae’s success? Had he been so stubborn by continuing to fight in a losing battle? Are his past attempts to make a name for himself all futile and done in vain? They must be after having so many media outlets say these things after all this time, right? Has he even made any headway at all?

Almost in an instant, as fast as a bullet shot through his heart, he flashes back to a time he wishes with his entire being that he could finally forget.

He was sitting on the floor, shaking and almost incoherent. He was covered in sweat and a few drops of different kinds of alcohol. Everything was a blur as the first signs of a headache made itself known. For how long he had been sitting there, he didn’t know.

The cold biting into his skin through his pants did nothing to relieve him of his discomfort. From what he could tell, he was in the middle of a long and empty hallway. The lights were dim and multicolored, kept in line with the vibe of the nightclub that he was in. Loud thrumming of upbeat music was playing, muffled and distant as Jae sluggishly cowered away from the man towering before him.

He had never felt so furious and afraid at the same time.

“Never forget that it was _my_ decision to cast you, Park. _I_ gave you your career. If it wasn’t for me, you would be nothing. _I created you_ and I sure as hell can take all this fame away if I want to.” Axel Greenfield bent down to grab the collars of Jae’s shirt, roughly pulling him back to his feet. “Now… where were we?”

Jae remembered thinking that in traumatic situations such as this, fight or flight is the natural response. It’s instinctual, almost second-nature to want to protect yourself from any possible danger.

But there’s one other response that people don’t talk about much. The third option that gets hardly mentioned because it feels arguably humiliating and helpless.

And right at that moment, Jae felt every fiber in his body _freezing_ as the director made a move to grip his face with his rough, callous hands.

“Jae…”

His hands trembled by his side, feeling heavy but limp and useless.

Utterly pathetic.

“Jae!”

His knees felt like jelly as he prayed like hell to all things holy that he could just disappear right then and there, and never return again.

He remembered how lifeless and violated he felt, how he could both feel so numb and alert at the same time. Remembered feeling so empty and so full of emotions all at once.

“Park Jaehyung!”

The moment that he feels a heavy hand grab his shoulder, all of his strength returns back to him at full force as his mind crashes back to reality almost violently and disorienting. He immediately springs to his feet, dropping his phone on the floor, rearing his hand back, and throwing a punch out of instinct and self-defense at whoever’s touching him right now.

This time, he’s ready to fight. Because this time, he’s no longer as naïve as he was back then. And this time, all of those sleepless nights trying to imagine the best way to react lest it happens to him again, he promised himself he would no longer freeze. No more feeling lifeless like a fucking ragdoll.

Brian thankfully dodges the older’s fist by a hair’s breadth of space as he calls to him, “Jae, it’s me! It’s Brian! You’re okay, you’re okay! It’s just me!”

Jae’s raging thoughts rearrange themselves for a second as he focuses on where he is now, trying to ground himself but ultimately failing.

Slightly panting and visibly shaken, Jae faces Brian and sees the look of worry and confusion evident on his face. The younger has his hands outstretched in front of him, unmoving, as if he’s worried that any subtle movement might scare the older actor.

“I-I, I’m—” Jae stutters, his mind running a mile a minute that the rest of him fails to keep up. All he could ever think at the moment is to _get away as far and fast as possible_.

Something that he regretted not doing that night all those years ago.

_Run, Jaehyung-ah…_

Brian takes a tentative step closer to him.

At the sudden movement, Jae spurs into action.

“I-I gotta—” he stammers, frantic, jittery, and anxious. “I need to go.”

The moment the words leave his lips, he makes a bee-line for the front door.

The younger reaches out to grab his arm but Jae is faster, flinching away from the touch. Almost as if he’s afraid of Brian too.

His eyes start darting wildly around the living room, unfocused and oh, so terrified.

 _Run, Jaehyung-ah…_ His thoughts repeat to him, strong and insistent yet distant and echoing, almost like a fucking mantra.

“Jae…” Brian tries again, softly calling the older’s attention back to him.

But it’s as if Jae no longer recognizes him, no longer registering his words.

Jae mumbles something fast and incoherent before finally running out the front door.

Brian paces around the room, worried so sick and out of his damn mind.

It’s almost 2 in the morning and Jae still hasn’t returned.

He’s been gone for more than seven hours now.

When he went to the living room to tell Jae that dinner’s ready, he didn’t understand why the latter was in that state. He looked like he was somewhere else, someplace far, deep, and unreachable into the recesses of his mind, unfocused and lost to the world around him. Brian will never forget the absolute look of terror on his face when he tried shaking the older’s shoulder to get him to listen. It was as if the touch burned him, shook him to his core. He has never seen Jae so out of it before, not even when he was drunk and passed out in his arms at the bar.

And he tried going after Jae when he bolted from the apartment earlier but the latter was already nowhere in sight when Brian reached the outside of the complex.

He just waited for the first couple of hours for Jae to come back. Unable to sit still for more than a few minutes before standing back up again to pace the living room. He placed Jae’s abandoned phone on the center of the coffee table. He kept checking and searching through every social media platform that he knows, in the hopes of finding even just a whiff of Jae’s whereabouts from any kind of fan-sighting but he always comes up short.

Then the hours kept stretching longer and the night fell deeper and darker, Brian didn’t know what else to do or think.

Should he go out there on his own to look for Jae? _But I don’t even know where to start._

Should he call the police? _But, don’t they have a forty-eight-hour policy regarding missing persons? Wait, is Jae a missing person?_

Brian pulled at his hair in frustration.

_What’s gotten into you, Jae? Where are you? God, I hope you’re okay…_

Fortunately, at a quarter before one in the morning, he finally did something that he realized should have been the very first thing that he did—he called Sungjin and Wonpil for help.

They didn’t answer at first (“They’re probably already sleeping, fuck,” Brian guessed as he cursed himself repeatedly for not thinking of this sooner), but thankfully, after a couple of tries, a groggy sounding Sungjin picked up the phone. And now, they’re on their way to the apartment as we speak.

As if on cue, Brian hears urgent knocks coming from the door.

He opens it to find a determined Sungjin and a worried Wonpil making their own way into the space. They are gathered in the living room with the couple taking over the couch and Brian taking a seat on the adjacent chair.

“Tell me what really happened.” Sungjin demands, sounding serious and grave.

Brian sighs. Running his hand through his hair and messing the strands up even more, he shares, “I already told you, I don’t know! We were just talking one second, then I left to make dinner, and when I came to invite him to eat, he was freaking out over something and left before I got the chance to ask what.”

Wonpil leans his elbows against his knees, thinking. “But surely, there must’ve been something that—” he catches himself, throwing a quick look of worry to his husband. “Don’t you think it’s—”

Sungjin cuts him off. “I _absolutely_ hope it isn’t…” he reaches a hand out to give Wonpil’s thigh a reassuring squeeze.

“What?” Brian prods. “What is it? What are you talking about?”

“Brian,” Sungjin starts, giving the theater actor a meaningful look. “Isn’t there something that Jae must’ve seen, heard, or read earlier that might have caused it? Anything at all that you noticed?”

Brian frowns, thinking hard. His eyes pan across the room. The tv hasn’t been opened ever since he got home earlier. No music was played through the Bluetooth speaker by the side table either. And when his eyes land on the coffee table, his eyes widen in realization.

“He was reading something on his phone.” He immediately tells the couple. “Yeah, that’s it. I think he was scrolling through Twitter.”

Wonpil did not need to be told as he quickly pulls out his phone to go through his client’s—more appropriately, his _friend’s_ —mentions. And it doesn’t take him that long to see the articles too.

“Oh no…” he mutters, sober and daunting. “No, no, no, no, no.”

He hands the phone to his husband to show the full article. And when Brian notices that Sungjin pales a little, he stands up to get a closer look.

“I should’ve known this would happen.” Sungjin berates himself, gripping the phone in his hand. “We should have done something. Negotiate with these people to exclude Jae from every post that had that goddamn director in it. We could’ve done something!”

Brian is confused. _What does Axel Greenfield have to do with all of this?_

“Guys, please,” he appeals to them. “Tell me what’s going on. I’m worried about Jae too. I want to help find him. But please, why did this article cause such a huge meltdown from him? I really just want to help. _Please._ ”

Sungjin and Wonpil share a look, deciding whether or not they should tell the theater actor. They too are aware of the recent development in Jae and Brian’s dynamic. They’ve noticed that their usual fighting has now turned into harmless bickering and their rivalry evolved into a budding friendship. They’re considering sharing the story to the younger, trying to decide if whether or not it aligns with Jae’s best interests.

But Brian, oh, so sweet and impatient Brian, rushes them to a decision. “Look, trust me or not, but for Jae’s sake, I just want to understand what happened so that I can avoid saying or doing anything wrong in the future.”

Finally, he sees Wonpil giving his husband a resolute nod.

“Alright,” Sungjin assents, gesturing at Brian to go back to his seat before continuing, “we still don’t know the exact details of what happened, as Jae never told a single soul, but we kind of already had an idea.”

Brian starts frowning. He already knows he won’t like where the story’s going but he nods at the manager to keep going all the same.

“Five years ago, after Jae’s first movie did well on the big screen, the production company threw a wrap party exclusively for the entire cast and crew. They rented out a nightclub so that they could celebrate the success of the film. And everyone came, all the actors with their managers, people who worked behind the scene, a few producers, the assistant director, and of course, Axel Greenfield. Since Jae was the man of the hour, the star of the show, I told him to keep up appearances and not to leave earlier than the rest of them. To this day, I still regret telling him those words.

Wonpil and I went home early because we didn’t feel like partying that night. But lo and behold, a few hours later, Jae came knocking at our front door, shaking and crying. He kept repeating the words, ‘I hate him, I hate him so fucking much’ over and over. We made him stay the night in our guest room, and he took a shower for two hours straight. He was pretty much shivering when he got out of it. His lips, cheeks, and neck were pretty much rubbed raw. He wouldn’t tell us who he was talking about but then we heard him screaming at the top of his lungs, ‘Fuck you, Greenfield’ during a nightmare, we kind of guessed what happened.” Sungjin finished, his shoulders sagging with the weight of the memory and the burden that he feels for his friend.

Brian can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You’re telling me that Jae— that h-he was…” he can’t even bring himself to say the word out loud.

He feels his heart wrenching for the older. For the pain and trauma that he felt. And is still clearly suffering from, the memory clawing at his insides and never letting him go.

“Oh, thank God he wasn’t.” Wonpil informs him, flashing a quick, tiny smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “When we asked him the very next day if he wanted us to press charges, he assured us that Greenfield wasn’t able to go that far, fortunately. We were hesitant to believe him at first but he promised us that if Greenfield did have his way, Jae would have been the first one through the doors of the precinct, filing a report.”

Sungjin adds, “But we could tell that that disgusting excuse of a person still did a few things—the marks on Jae’s neck still as clear as day to my eyes—and said vicious words that affected Jae more than anything. And that’s the part that we’re worried about the most. He just wasn’t the same again after that night.”

Brian lets all the information sink into him. The more that he digests the words, the heavier his heart feels. He didn’t know that Jae had been carrying this much baggage the entire time he’s with him. He wishes the older would have said something so that Brian can help to lessen the burden even just for a bit. Though he doesn’t hold it against Jae either. Having been in such close quarters with Jae, he kind of already understands the older’s mindset and overall personality. He knows how stubborn he is in admitting any form of weakness. And even though Brian thinks that they’re friends now, he knows that Jae wouldn’t just outright share something as heavy and traumatizing as this to anybody.

Determined to help his friend out, Brian stands up again to pace the room. “Do you have any clue to where he could be right now? We really need to find him this instant. He shouldn’t be dealing with all of this alone.”

“I’m already on it.” Wonpil informs them, tapping a few things on his phone. “I’ll call all his favorite restaurants and hangouts in the entire city. Well, the ones still open at this hour at least.”

“And I’ll comb through social media for any sign of him.” Sungjin adds, bringing his phone out as well. “Surely, someone must’ve spotted him by now.”

Brian starts to do the same when he sees that he got a text from his friend Dowoon. And as he reads the message, he feels a huge amount of relief washing over his entire body.

He demands the couple’s attention.

“Guys, I know where he is.”

Sungjin and Wonpil spring into action. After Brian gives the address to the manager, they go to find Jae and bring him home.

Brian sits on the backseat, eager, as he watches the lights on the streets pass before his eyes. When he sees that they’re near, he tells them, “Actually, can I go in and talk to him alone? I don’t ask much from other people but this time, I’m wholeheartedly asking for you to let me do this.”

Sungjin doesn’t take too long to consider before releasing a heavy breath and saying, “Fine. But we’ll be waiting in the car. Call if you need us, okay?”

“Thank you.” Brian tells with a sigh.

As they arrive in front of the establishment, the car hasn’t even fully stopped yet but Brian is already making his way out of the vehicle. He sees the “CLOSED” sign posted on the windows but he knows better.

He shoots a quick text to Dowoon telling him to open the door. And just a few seconds later, Dowoon lets Brian inside his favorite dive bar—the scene of the crime where everything started for their fake relationship.

The place looks different now that it’s closed for the night (as it’s half past 2 in the morning already) with most of the lights turned off except for the ones on the liquor shelf and the fairy lights on the ceiling.

Now that Brian’s here, Dowoon whispers to him, “I’m really sorry for serving drinks to him but I swear, he hasn’t been here long. He came right when I was closing up and when I saw the way he looked, so lost and desperate, I didn’t have the heart to say no to him.”

Brian gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “It’s okay, Dowoon-ah.”

Dowoon nods. “I’ll just be in the backroom if you need anything.”

As the bartender leaves, giving them privacy, Brian approaches Jae. He’s hunching over the bar counter, shot glasses lined neatly in front of him, looking almost exactly like he did more than a month ago.

Carefully, Brian takes a seat beside him, fully facing Jae’s frame.

Jae looks at him in surprise. Brian sees the look of guilt and embarrassment play across his features. Jae’s eyes start to shine with unshed tears as he starts, “Brian, I’m _so_ sorry for punching you earlier.”

“It’s okay, Jae.” He tells him, fixing a soft, gentle smile on his face. “Everything’s okay.” He reaches a hand out to rest it on Jae’s shoulder, the touch comforting and reassuring at the same time. “I’m here.” He leans closer and sees a few tears staining Jae’s cheeks. “I’m right here, Jae. I got you.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Jae’s body crashes onto him. The older grips the back of Brian’s shirt as he hides his face on the crook of Brian’s neck, finally letting it all out.

Brian feels Jae trembling from the force of his cries, not minding at all the tears that have gotten onto his shirt as he rubs soothing circles across Jae’s back, whispering to his ear over and over, “I’m right here.

I got you.”


	5. thought you saw me wink, no, i've been on the brink, so

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> act three: the catharsis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning: implied/attempted sexual harassment

Jae does not know how long he has been crying on Brian’s shoulder when he finally gathers enough strength to pull back. He has gradually calmed down and can breathe properly again. He tries to ignore the wet spot he has created on the younger’s shirt as he sits back on the chair. 

He also avoids the latter’s gaze, muttering in a hoarse voice, “Sorry you had to see that. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Brian doesn’t know how to respond right away. He feels a little turned around as he detects the sudden change in Jae’s tone. He sounded cold and devoid of any emotion, a complete contrast to how he was just ten minutes ago.

“Please don’t be sorry.” Brian tries, giving him almost an imploring look. “Like I said, I’m here for you, Jae. Whatever you need, just say it.”

Jae snorts softly as a response. “How did you even find me here?”

“Dowoon texted me. The bartender,” Brian clarifies as he sees the slight look of confusion on the older’s face. “He’s a friend of mine.”

Jae just hums before bringing a shot glass to his lips and tipping his head back to drink.

Brian sheepishly adds, “Also, Sungjin and Wonpil are here.”

“Let me guess,” Jae responds with a sigh though he doesn’t seem that surprised, “they’re waiting in the car.”

“Yeah, they came with me.” The theater actor brings up a hand to scratch the back of his neck. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Jae prompts.

“What?”

“Invite them in to have a drink with me. And you, too. Come on, it’s my treat.” Jae tells him, squaring off his shoulders as he downs the last of the shot. 

“Excuse me?” He calls the bartender hiding in the back room.

Not a second later, almost as if he was just sitting by the other side of the door, close enough to hear what Jae and Brian were saying, Dowoon eagerly walks back to the bar counter.

“Yes, Jae—I mean, Mr. P—yes, Jae Park, sir?”

Brian notes the way Dowoon fidgets with his hands, still feeling a little awkward and starstruck by the older actor. 

Dowoon already knows the real deal between them—the PR stunt and everything—because Brian told him the truth. Not that he had any other choice. Dowoon was also there that night when the paparazzi took pictures of the two actors. Brian figured that he owed the younger after kicking the bastard out of his aunt’s bar. But not only just that, he also knows that Dowoon is great at keeping secrets. The number of embarrassing stories and sad memories that Brian has shared with him can definitely attest to that.

Jae chuckles at the bartender’s nervous antics, adored. “Hey, man. Just call me Jae. Any friend of Brian’s is a friend of mine, I guess.”

“Okay, Jae.” Dowoon tries, smiling at the easy sound of it. “What can I get you?”

“More vodka shots for me and uh,” Jae pauses, thinking, “an old fashioned for Brian.” He faces the theater actor. “You were only drinking whiskey neat, right? The last time that we were here?”

Brian takes a second to respond, nodding slowly, “Yeah.”

 _I can’t believe he noticed that._ The theater actor muses to himself. Also noticing the ease at which Jae works through the vodka shots as if they were water.

Dowoon adds, a bit teasingly, “That’s all he ever drinks when he’s here.”

Jae whistles, casually looking Brian up and down. “I gotta say, I was surprised that that was your choice of liquor.”

“Why? What did you expect?”

“I don’t know,” Jae shrugs, “some fancy cocktail, maybe.”

Brian just acknowledges it with a slight chuckle. “But why order me old fashioned though?”

“I wanted you to switch it up a little and since I know you like bourbon whiskey, there you go. Plus, it’s a classic. Just like you.”

Brian doesn’t know what to make of that either. Instead, he just answers Dowoon’s questioning look with a defeated nod—a silent granting of permission to prepare their drinks. He’s letting Jae have his way for now. He knows he won’t just outright share anything so Brian will have to patiently wait for him to open up. He did notice that the older’s words aren’t slurred, not yet intoxicated, and that he doesn’t reek too much of alcohol as he recalls what Dowoon told him earlier, that Jae hasn’t been here long.

So where _did_ he go all those hours ago?

“Come on, Brian!” The theater actor breaks from his line of thought as Jae nudges him with his elbow. “Drink with me. And tell Sungjin and Wonpil to come here already.”

Brian sighs but still does as he’s told.

Since when did he start not being able to say no to Jae?

After shooting a quick text to the older’s manager, Sungjin and Wonpil are standing behind Jae in just a span of a minute before fussing over him like over-protective, helicopter parents. Brian sees Wonpil eyeing the wet spot that’s drying slowly on his left shoulder but the agent wisely makes no comment about it.

“Where have you been all night, Jaehyung-ah?” Sungjin asks him with a frown before placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “We were so worried about you, even _Brian_ was worried about you.”

Before anyone could utter a word, Dowoon excuses himself, sounding shy and uncertain, “Um, I feel like you all need to talk about something personal. I’ll just be in the backroom if you need anything.”

“You don’t have to, Dowoon.” Jae assures him, flashing him a quick smile. “I don’t mind that you’re here. And guys, please,” he turns back to the couple, a warm pink dusting the tips of his ears as if feeling uncomfortable by the attention that they’re giving him. “I’m fine, I swear.”

“Do you want me to negotiate with them to take the articles down?” Wonpil offers, his voice sounding so soft and gentle as if coaxing a scared child to calm down.

“ _No_.” Jae spits out. His relaxed façade hardens in an instant, a brief look of panic taking its place as his entire frame stiffens into a defensive stance. His fists clench on the edge of the bar counter so hard that his knuckles turn white. “Don’t ever do that. He’ll think that it got to me. He’ll think that he’s won again. I-I can’t—I won’t let that happen. Not now, not ever.”

Sungjin, Wonpil, and Brian all share a look of worry.

Unfortunately, Jae catches it.

Rubbing a finger against his right temple, he lets out a defeated sigh before insisting, “I said I’m fucking _fine_. Stop worrying about me. I promise after this night, you won’t be hearing a single word about this from me ever again.”

“See, Jae, that’s the problem.” Sungjin interjects, taking the empty seat on Jae’s other side. He’s giving the actor a serious look that’s part concerned and pleading. “We never hear from you whenever you have a problem. Imagine how we feel knowing that you’re suffering but we can’t do anything to help.”

“I can handle myself just fine.” Jae answers, looking at his fingers loosely wrapping around the tiny shot glass. He’s avoiding Sungjin’s searching eyes, he already feels guilty that they’re out this late because of him.

“We know you can,” Sungjin agrees, “but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.”

“We’re here for you, Jae.” Wonpil adds, leaning against the side of his husband’s leg as he tries to get Jae to look at him. “Do you have any idea how much we care about you?”

Still the stubborn man that he is, Jae doesn’t budge. “I know that, Pil. And I really care about you guys too, that’s why I don’t want to bother you with my problems. You don’t deserve to have that in your lives.”

The older actor avoids looking at any of them altogether. He stays silent, just downing another shot.

Brian notices Sungjin and Wonpil deflating, figures that they’re used to Jae’s deflective nature by now. He lets the two of them try to talk to Jae first since they have known the older actor the longest among the four of them at the bar. But he’s realized that living with Jae for a month has given him a slight advantage. It has given him the knowledge that Jae doesn’t just open up to anyone without finding a common ground. He just needs some kind of reassurance that confiding is never a sign of weakness. Someone to remind him that letting another person in and being vulnerable is actually one of the bravest and strongest things to do.

And Brian is nothing if not persistent.

So, he tries on a different approach.

“Well, if you’re not going to talk then I will.”

Four pairs of confused eyes land on the theater actor. Twisting in his seat, he faces the bar counter to take a sip of the old fashioned that Jae ordered for him. He has half a mind to appreciate the sudden change in his usual drink. It tastes rich and smooth, just the perfect blend of sweetness from the crushed sugar cube, a hint of citrus from the orange peel, and a dash of bitters.

 _Is this why he compared me to this drink?_ Brian wonders to himself.

After feeling the burn of the whiskey spread through his chest, Brian gathers enough courage to start, “Back when I was starting out with acting during college, I was _so_ broke. Like, really broke that it’s not even funny. That was why I’ve always been thankful for getting casted no matter how small a role they were. It was not only because singing and performing are my passions in life but because there were days when the only full course of meals that I get to eat were from the free buffets they have during rehearsals. Just to get by, I worked odd part-time jobs. Moving to New York from Toronto, I had no choice but to try to be independent. We weren’t well-off either back home so I didn’t want to trouble my parents about rent, bills, and basically everything that comes with being a theater student.

Most days, I just collapse in bed, dead tired from working double shifts at a restaurant. And for the second half of college, that has been my life. I barely managed to keep up with my studies, I didn’t have enough time to make any friends, much less go out during the weekends. I just felt so exhausted and alone all the time so eventually, I got depressed. I almost forgot why I was acting in the first place because, for a time, it just became one role after another meant that I’m getting paid.” He pauses, proceeding to drink a few more. Liquid courage and all that.

He notices that he has everyone’s undivided attention. But the only gaze that he dares to meet is Jae’s.

The older actor is looking at him intensely, the vodka shots in front of him almost forgotten as he listens to Brian’s story, hanging on to every word.

Encouraged, Brian continues, “I didn’t tell my parents because I was so embarrassed. And also because I didn’t want them to worry. It already took a lot from them allowing me to move miles away from home, I didn’t want to burden them with my living situation too. I kept avoiding them until one day, I couldn’t handle it anymore so I tried seeking help. But since I couldn’t afford seeing a therapist, I talked to the university’s resident guidance counsellor instead. Thankfully, Mr. Yoon is just the nicest and most understanding so he recommended me to his sister who’s a therapist that don’t charge a lot for her financially troubled clients.” He throws a quick smile Dowoon’s way. “She’s also Dowoon’s aunt and the owner of this bar. For months, she helped me get better and come graduation day, she and Dowoonie even went to see me walk the stage to get my diploma because my parents couldn’t make it back then. I owe a lot to her so when I started getting roles on bigger plays, I made sure she knows just how much I’m thankful for her help. And every year since then, I would send flowers on her birthday.”

As he finishes, he sees Dowoon giving him an interesting look. Being one of the few people who knows about Brian’s past struggles, it surprises him a little to see the theater actor recounting it to the three other people in the room so freely and unprompted like that.

Dowoon chimes in, sending a fond smile Brian’s way. “Yeah. And sometimes this idiot would even invite himself to one of our family reunions.”

“Hey,” Brian mildly protests. “I always come as your friend more than anything.”

Dowoon just chuckles, light and easy, as an attempt to dispel the quiet tension in the room.

It is then that Jae finally speaks up, his voice sounding raspy and quiet, “Why are you telling me this now?”

Brian faces him fully, leaning closer to the older actor. He reaches across the bar counter with his hand to hold Jae’s and to stop his fingers from fidgeting. 

(He fails to notice Dowoon studying the gentle gesture, a little surprised by the ease and almost familiar nature of it.)

Brian answers him, “Because I completely understand what you mean. About not wanting to be a burden? I’ve been there before. However, I’ve also come to realize that I would have been less miserable if I just talked to my parents about it. Or that I talked to at least a single soul. That’s one of the things I regretted not doing the most.”

“Brian...”

The theater actor tightens his grip on Jae’s hand. His thumb absentmindedly begins rubbing circles against the older’s palm, the touch both grounding and reassuring. “And because you’re my _friend_. This is what friends do, right? Share each other’s problems and be there to help them overcome everything?”

Jae is practically giving him a pleading look. He can almost feel his walls crumbling down with every word that escapes Brian’s lips. They stare at each other for what feels like forever. Jae’s eyes are shining once again as more unshed tears blur his vision. He’s basically grappling for that last bit of strength to hold it all in as Brian’s words along with the promise that his gaze holds are effectively gnawing away his protective shell.

And when Brian sees the slight change in Jae’s expression, sees through the cracks in his armor and underneath all the stubbornness and exhaustion caused by constantly pulling away from people, he finds hope threatening to come out.

So, to help his friend along, he enlightens him, “And because I want you to know how freeing it feels not having to go through life alone.”

A tear falls down Jae’s cheek, completely ignored.

Brian waits with bated breath for Jae to say something. They continue imploring each other’s eyes. 

The theater actor waits some more for Jae to finally let himself go.

Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon remain silent as they too can feel the subtle change in Jae. They’re afraid to make any noise that may cause the actor to change his mind. Go back to shutting people out again when Brian just worked so carefully to get him to open up.

A minute or two pass, and just when Brian thinks Jae is still not ready, the older actor speaks up. 

“You asked for this, Brian. No take-backs if it gets too pitiful.” He starts as if he’s throwing it as a joke but Brian detects no humor behind the words.

“Jae. We’ve both been publicly kicked out of a world-famous museum together.” He reminds him with an encouraging smile. “I don’t think we could’ve looked more pitiful than we did in that moment.”

The corners of Jae’s lips lift at the memory. He lets go of Brian’s hand to down another shot before saying, “Alright, alright!” He shoots one more for good measure. “I’ll start.”

Behind Jae’s head, Brian sees Sungjin and Wonpil throwing him grateful looks.

“Sit back and relax everyone because Jae is going to tell a story.” He proudly announces, his false bravado slipping back in.

Brian knows that’s basically his defense mechanism so he just plays along, settling in his seat and taking a few sips of his drink.

And when Jae starts to let it all out, recounting what really happened that night, no one dares to stop him.

  
  
  


Jae felt like he was on top of the world. He was having the time of his life. He dressed up nicely so he was feeling pretty confident the whole night. Which, if he’s being honest, doesn’t happen quite often so he’s savoring it while it lasts. Basically, everyone inside that nightclub was congratulating him for a job well done with the movie. Everybody complimented him. Guys and girls wanted to dance with him. Different kinds of drinks were pushed into his hand. And he absolutely loved every bit of it. Out there on the dance floor, he momentarily forgot his usual reluctance to let loose as he swayed freely along with the beat of the electronic music. One second ago, some guy was even dancing inappropriately close against him, not that he minded it. 

Back then, he had decided that it was _his_ night. The height of his budding career. Nothing can take it away from him.

Sungjin and Wonpil went home about fifteen minutes ago so he had no choice but to spend the rest of the party with the other film crew members. Again, not that he minded. He was basically friends or, at least, friendly with the rest of them after tirelessly working together for four months.

He was about to take body shots from one of his co-stars at the open bar when he felt someone grab him by the crook of his elbow. Turning around, he saw their director giving him an inviting smile.

“Oh, hey, dude!” Jae greeted him, loud and happy. They’re thirteen years apart—Jae was twenty two and Axel was thirty five—but weirdly enough, they got along as if they’re the same age. It helped that Axel was easy to work with. “Great party, right?”

Axel was about to reply when Jae’s costar, the female lead, complained on the counter, “Jae, what’s taking so long? The salt is starting to irritate my skin.”

Jae laughed at her annoyed expression. “Alright,” he said before making a move closer.

However, Axel just tightened his hold on Jae. “Actually, I need to borrow Jae for a bit, Zoe.”

Zoe pouted cutely for a second before pulling the second lead to take Jae’s place.

“What’s up?” Jae asked, slightly disoriented as Axel started pulling him along. He was tripping over his feet as all the drinks that he took were quickly catching up to his system.

“Oh, uh,” Axel paused, glancing around the dance floor as if looking for someone. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

Jae just let himself be dragged away from the throngs of people. It was when they reached the mouth of a long corridor with three different hallways stemming at the end that Jae set his foot down to stop them. 

“Why are we heading to one of the private rooms?” He asked, confused. Well, he tried to ask. He didn’t know how it came out because he was already starting to slur the words. 

_Shouldn’t have downed those shots that fast._ He regretted with a silent groan.

Axel turned back to him. Leaning impossibly close towards the actor’s space, he whispered to his ear, “I’m going to introduce you to a director friend of mine. He was impressed by your performance in the movie. Said he wanted to talk somewhere private.”

Jae, dearest sweet, innocent, and naïve Jae, easily believed him as his eyes lit up in excitement. “That’s awesome, who is it?”

The actor saw an unreadable look pass by the director’s face but before he could command his brain to try to decipher, it was gone. Back in its place was a perfectly practiced smile. “You’ll find out soon enough.” He began looking around the club again, slightly uneasy.

Jae looked behind him, trying to see what was worrying the director. “What, what is it?”

Axel waved him off with a quick chuckle. “Nothing. I thought I heard someone call my name.” 

Jae just hummed, unknowingly swaying on his feet and almost losing his balance when he turned back to face the director. 

“By the way,” if Jae would have been sober, he would have easily noticed how fake Axel’s casual tone was. But alas, he had taken a few too many drinks right past his tolerance. “Where are Sungjin and Wonpil?”

It took a second for Jae to collect his thoughts. “Oh, they went home already.”

Axel’s eyebrows lifted in surprise and barely concealed relief. His easy smile transformed into a wicked one as he started pulling Jae into one of the empty hallways leading to a private room. The space was hidden from the rest of the club because it took two sharp turns from the main corridor to get there. 

Because of his growing excitement as they grew closer to one of the rooms, Axel’s grip on Jae tightened to the point that it physically hurt.

By some sense of logic breaking through the thick fog in Jae’s head, or just sheer dumb luck, he came to just right in time to pull his arm away from the director’s grasp. He stopped him just short of opening the door as they stood there in the middle of the dimly lit hallway, tensely looking at each other as if in a stand-off.

Jae’s heart started pounding loudly in his chest as he noticed through the frosted glass window that the room was pretty much empty and with absolutely no sign of anyone ever being inside. He also felt unsettled by the look the director had been throwing his way. Noticed the way Axel looked him up and down. As if he could just devour Jae right then and there. 

A cold shiver ran down his spine when the director took a step closer to him.

He tried to gather his thoughts enough to start backing away, “On second thought, I actually don’t feel so good. I think I’m just gonna—”

But before he could make his escape, Axel Greenfield caught him by the sleeve and proceeded to roughly pull him back to his face.

“Where’re you going, Jae?” Axel cooed, disgustingly soft and sweet. “I just wanted to talk.”

Jae tried to put some distance between them by pushing against the director’s chest. However, with his free hand, Axel grabbed Jae’s shirt by the hem on his neck and slammed the actor against the wall, trapping him with his body.

Dark spots danced across Jae’s vision as he struggled to make sense of what was happening. Everything started to swirl as he felt even more disoriented and out of focus.

“Don’t leave yet,” Axel whined mockingly. “I haven’t even started.”

He leaned forward to kiss the actor but Jae was just quick enough to look away. “No, Axel. What the fuck are you doing? Let me go.”

Unfortunately, in turning his head sideways, he only exposed his neck to the director. It was as if Jae suddenly couldn’t breathe when he felt wet lips and tongue mingling together to bite his skin. It was aggressive, desperate, and immensely revolting.

“No? You’ve got some nerve turning me down like this.” Axel said while in the middle of mouthing along the side of Jae’s throat. “Did you know that it was my decision to cast you for this film? You owe me this much, Park.”

Jae felt like he was slapped. Mustering enough strength, he managed to push the director’s larger frame away from his. 

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, did I forget to tell you?” Axel started smirking, so clearly enjoying the look of confusion and terror on Jae’s face. It seemed to even spur him on as he walked back closer, reaching a hand out to grab the actor’s face. 

The actor tried to fight him off but Axel threw a sucker punch to his lower abdomen, effectively stealing his breath away as he slid against the wall, dropping to the cold tile floor.

He wanted to vomit and dry-heave at the same time. And not just from the blow to his stomach.

Axel Greenfield crouched down in front of him. His tone was downright mocking as he said, “Why did you think I would ever choose someone with no past acting experience to play the lead in my movie? You see, Jae, I have a thing for lanky guys. And I’m curious to try my first Asian. I like my boys to have a little bit of color. Give me some assortment of... _different flavors_ as I like to call it. Too bad you’re already of legal age or else you would’ve been my perfect type. But nonetheless, settle for what you have, right?”

“Fuck you!” Jae threw at him, putting rage and fury into his voice as he spat directly on the director’s face.

“Ooh, kinky I love it.” The director just wiped it off his face and ran his tongue across his lips before he grabbed Jae by the shirt, roughly bringing him to his feet.

“I’ll ruin you for this.” Jae threatened him as his back hit the wall.

The director’s motions stilled as he started glaring at Jae. He leaned in even closer as he promised in a menacing voice, “Not if I ruin you first. Don’t forget that I basically know everyone worthy enough to know here in Hollywood. I can build your career almost as fast as I can destroy it. Did you honestly think that I casted you because of your fucking talent? That I was so _moved_ by your performance? That you even _deserve_ to have this role in the first place? Fucking news flash, Park. Every motherfucker on here is talented. It’s choosing the right person to suck up to is what gets you ahead. Some people are smart enough to know that. And stop acting like a piece of shit, you little baby! You’re not the first actor I basically created a career for, and you’re definitely not going to be the last. So stay fucking still until I get my fill. Now, where were we?”

Jae was shaking. He didn’t know what to do. His entire world got turned upside down, shattering everything that he once believed he had rightfully achieved. In hindsight, he probably should’ve known better than to believe this pervert’s words but, as his pessimistic mind would have it, things started to fall into place. 

Now he got why some people were more doubtful than usual of his casting. Or why some crew members’ whispered conversations would quiet down whenever he would enter the room during the first few weeks of filming. Or why he felt like he needed to work exceptionally and unreasonably hard to gain their trust in him and his capabilities as an actor. Having this be thrown at his face now, he realized that he didn’t earn his place solely based on acting after all. He didn’t earn jack shit but be the next play thing of this disgusting monster of a person. The guy that he originally thought was someone who believed in him apparently only saw his potential as a fucking cock warmer? 

Jae felt utterly and incomparably disgusted. With himself for being so naïve and trusting. And with this fucking _predator_ for everything that he is.

The feel of the director’s hands started exploring his body underneath his shirt snapped his thoughts back to the current traumatizing reality. His mouth took claim of Jae’s collarbones, still as needy and aggressive. And Jae just stood there, almost lifeless.

He couldn’t bring himself to move out of a myriad of reasons; drunkenness, shock, disbelief, and just the overall pain of being in a situation such as this.

He just wanted to disappear. He didn’t care where the world would take him, he just couldn’t stomach being under his own skin at that moment. He had never felt so much abhor and absolute hatred taking up every available space in his entire body than he did right then. 

But more than anything, he wanted to go home. His real home, all the way back to Seoul. He wanted to curl up in his mother’s arms and stay there for the rest of his life, promising that he’ll never defy them ever again. He once chose to ignore their pleas for him to stay in the country and get a job in business and now, look where it got him.

He began crying silently as he felt the director’s fingers against the skin on his hips trying to unbuckle his belt. 

He closed his eyes as he started preparing for the worst when suddenly, he heard a female voice. 

“Excuse me, what’s going on?”

Jae’s entire body almost sagged in relief. 

The director cursed under his breath before turning to the person who interrupted them, plastering on a bright, fake smile.

“Oh, Mr. Greenfield!” The woman sounded surprised. Jae recognized her as one of the production company’s hair and makeup stylists. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t...” she trailed off as she noticed the obvious signs of what was about to transpire if she hadn’t walked into their hallway five seconds ago.

The director tried to shield Jae’s face with his body but it was too late, they already got recognized. So instead, he reached with his hand behind his back to painfully grip Jae’s wrist as a silent warning. Not that Jae even had an ounce of strength left to do anything anyway. He was as emotionally and spiritually broken as can be.

“Can I help you?” The director prompted with a tone, annoyed that they got interrupted. “Because we’re kinda busy here.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized again, “but one of the producers is looking to talk to you before he heads home for the night.”

The director cursed some more before whispering to the actor, “You’ll regret turning me down, Park. Mark my words. You’ll be nothing without me.” He spoke through gritted teeth. The words were venomous as if it was Jae’s responsibility to keep this thing going. That it was his fault they got interrupted and the director didn’t get his fill.

After a tense moment, he finally, _finally_ pulled away from Jae’s still frame to walk with the hairstylist back to the main part of the club. But not before slipping a wad of cash into the woman’s hand to say, “I’d appreciate it if you keep this to yourself, understood?” 

The woman nodded eagerly as she stared in awe at the amount of money on her hand. And just like that, they left without sparing Jae another glance.

He didn’t know how long he stood there until he felt strength return back to his legs. He didn’t bother fixing his disheveled appearance as he quickly got out of the club, ignoring people calling his name as he got into a cab to take him some place that he could feel safe.

Minutes later, he found himself standing in front of Sungjin and Wonpil’s front door. The couple took him in and gave him unparalleled care and reassurance. They didn’t ask much about what happened, not that Jae was even speaking anyway. They just held him, gave him a set of pyjamas to wear, made him warm tea, and tucked him safely in bed. They just stayed with him, never leaving his side for the rest of the night.

And back then, that was all the comfort that he needed. 

The very next day, he called his parents. He almost broke down again the moment that he heard his mother’s voice saying how much she missed him through the phone. As he was about to tell them what happened, his mother cut him off by excitedly telling him that she finally watched the movie, his dad chiming in from the background. They liked it very much. She even asked if there was a possibility for a sequel. 

Jae’s heart almost broke in half. It wasn’t really a glowing review as far as reviews go but it was the first ever compliment he got from his parents about his acting. He should be ecstatic. And yet, after everything that happened, it was also the same project that made him question himself as an artist. So tried as he might, he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything but pain now that he’s getting what he’s always wanted to hear—some sort of approval from his parents. Jae’s hatred towards the director grew tenfold for inflicting this on him, for breaking his spirit to the point that he felt empty even after hearing his parents’ praises.

Obviously, he can’t bring himself to tell them what happened now. In the end, he kept it to himself. And by the time that the call ended, he felt even emptier than when he picked up the phone to dial his mother’s number, as if it was still remotely possible.

The nightmares came a few nights later, the first of many to plague his mind. He had been staying at the couple’s guest room for almost a week, watching the two struggle to hold themselves back from dotting over him too much and trying to give him space. 

The images varied in his head. First it was just him constantly running in a dark, empty hallway with absolutely no end in sight. Then, other nights it was him performing on stage and when he looked at the audience, he saw that they’re all wearing that director’s face, all of them giving him wicked smiles. And sometimes, he would hear voices whispering insults about him and towards him constantly throughout the night. Some of those he recognized belonged to the film crew whom he once had pleasant conversations with, calling him Axel’s “new boy” running on loop in his head.

He overheard Wonpil talking to Sungjin about a rumor that had spread within the production company involving Jae and that director two days after the party. Fortunately, the rumor circulated only within the film crew and a few other employees in the studio but nonetheless, Wonpil was trying to get to the bottom of it. Unbeknownst to the agent, Jae already knew where and how it started. Apparently, the hairstylist couldn’t keep her mouth shut even after getting hush money. But hey, at least she had some decency not to report it to the press so that must count for something in her character, right? 

Yeah, Jae didn’t think so either.

One nightmare got particularly bad that had him screaming at the top of his lungs and thrashing in bed. Sungjin and Wonpil rushed to the room to wake him up and calm him down. However, he failed to recognize them immediately so when he felt a hand touching his skin as he was still in the throngs of the dream, he acted rashly. He accidentally kicked Sungjin on the shoulder, sending him to the floor.

The sound of Wonpil calling after his husband finally snapped Jae’s consciousness back to their current reality. 

He was panting and his heart pounded heavily in his chest. He was looking around wildly and when his eyes landed on Wonpil helping Sungjin off the floor, he quickly put two and two together.

Even though Sungjin assured him that he was alright, Jae beat himself up from the inside for unknowingly lashing out at his friend. So, the very next day, he moved back to his house. He tried to leave that same night but the couple wouldn’t let him so he just waited for morning to come, barely sleeping a wink. The couple still tried to convince him to stay longer but the three of them know that when Jae sets his mind onto something, nothing and no one can change it.

Back at home, he tried a lot of things to stop the nightmares from coming. Meditation, hypnotism, basically any alternative approach but nothing seemed to work. Until ultimately, he came to the simple conclusion that drinking & physically exhausting himself worked like a charm. 

As cliché as it sounded, he found relief and refuge in getting drunk and avoiding sleep long enough for when he finally succumbs to it, his mind would have been too tired to conjure up images. He would also work his entire body almost to its breaking point until his mind would shut down into a dreamless slumber. And so, that’s what he did just to get through the night.

If he were busy with something, he would keep at it well into the night and come the following morning, he would realize that he hadn’t slept a wink. Or better yet, if he wanted a quick fix, he found that drinking one beer after another, or taking shot after shot, was the fastest way to get drunk so he filled his fridge with plenty of alcohol. He would always choose between the two; get so drunk that he passes out or avoid sleeping altogether.

He tried hiding the fact that he did this from Sungjin and Wonpil though. Especially when they were always checking up on him, paying him surprise visits over the weekend at his house. He acted as if nothing was wrong and that he was getting enough sleep like the rest of them.

Thus, solidified his plan of never showing weakness to anybody, especially the media, lest it be interpreted by that director that he had somehow succeeded in disrupting Jae’s life. He had gotten so great at hiding his flaws and insecurities that he ended up shutting everyone out of his life altogether.

And he was great at that—pretending and deflecting. He almost had them fooled that he had it all behind him, that he didn’t care about what happened with that director until one day, a movie offer landed on Sungjin’s desk. 

It was the sequel for his first movie. 

“Don’t worry, I’m going to decline it.” Sungjin assured him. “I just wanted you to know about it first.”

“I will never work with that director ever again.” Jae agreed.

“Actually,” Sungjin started with a frown, “the studio that owns the movie rights actually hired a different director.”

“What? Why?”

Wonpil was hesitant to tell him but he felt that Jae still needed to know, “Rumors surrounding the two of you had reached the company executives so in order to dispel them, they had to choose between hiring him or hiring you. Ultimately, they chose you but we know that you don’t want to—”

“They chose me?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Seriously? _Me_ . Over _him_?”

“Yes, why is that so hard to believe?” Sungjin asked him.

“It’s just...” Jae paused, still a little in disbelief. “That would mean that I won against him...”

Understanding flooded the couple’s features as they saw relief washing through the actor.

So, in the end, he accepted the movie offer. Even if it meant that he would have to work with the same filming crew who talked shit about him behind his back, he was willing to put up with it if it meant that he had an advantage over the director.

And so when the third installment for the movie series came, he easily accepted it too. And the new movie offer that came after that. For three to four years, things have been going great with his career. He was at his prime. He poured everything into those movies that he almost forgot about the director’s threats. Almost.

Because when the tabloids started calling him a one-dimensional actor, he found out the reason why movie directors outside of the action genre were hesitant to cast him. Most of them, apparently, were friends of Axel Greenfield. 

This was what he meant when he said that Jae would regret turning him down. In retaliation, he made sure that these directors turn down any negotiation that Jae’s manager and agent proposed just to cast him. And for more than a year, Jae never got close getting a movie offer again. 

At least, not when that melodrama came to spark some semblance of hope back into him once again.

  
  
  


“So, there you have it.” Jae finishes, spreading his arms wide as if presenting a grand ending. Sungjin and Wonpil are hugging him the very next second—or at least Wonpil is trying to as Sungjin is pretty much allergic to any physical touch other than his husband’s.

Jae continues as he dodges Wonpil’s attempts, “The sob story of one Jae Park. I know I shouldn’t be complaining and being ungrateful, a lot of struggling actors probably wish to—”

“ _No._ ” Brian cuts him off. The firm tone in his voice pulls Jae’s attention. “You’re allowed to be upset too without feeling guilty about it, Jae. I know I said something along those lines to you before, and I really am sorry, but I’m not letting you say those words to yourself as well.”

To add emphasis to his words, he grabs Jae’s arm again, gazing deeper into the older’s eyes in hopes of delivering his utmost appreciation. “And for what it’s worth, thank you for trusting me with your story.”

Dowoon adds, giving the older actor a warm smile. “I admire your bravery, Jae. It only reminded me that I made the right choice in becoming your fan.”

“I still kinda wish you told us all of this back then though.” Wonpil pouts, giving up on his quest to smother the actor with hugs and standing at the space between his husband’s legs. 

“I’m sorry Pil—”

“—stop apologizing!” Brian interrupts.

“—but right now, there’s really nothing to be done in regards to my career. I’ve been stuck and stagnant for a year and most likely that director is getting what he wants.” Jae shrugs, his eyes casting down to his lap with his shoulders sagging in defeat.

But Brian isn’t having any of it.

Hooking a finger underneath the older’s chin, he tilts Jae’s face back up to meet his eyes. “Not with me, you’re not. Because guess what, we’re going to fucking crush this fake relationship. We’ll be the best and most emotionally endearing couple Hollywood has ever seen. If Cynthia Wilson still won’t cast you after this, then something is definitely wrong with her. But it doesn’t matter because I’m confident that you’ll get the role. You have me to make sure that it happens. We’re in this together, Jae.”

Staring back at Brian’s gaze, a small smile slowly stretches across Jae’s lips as he lets the younger’s words lift his spirits. 

“Okay. I appreciate you, Bribri.”

Brian mirrors the older’s smile at the reminder of the nickname. He notes the difference in which Jae called him by that name the first time and the way that he said it now. Back then, it was an attempt to annoy the hell out of him but now, it sounds nothing but friendly banter and absolute fondness.

(Again, Dowoon quietly studies the whole exchange, making a mental note to tease the theater actor later. _Since when did this idiot become so openly sweet?_ )

Sungjin clears his throat, effectively demanding the two actors’ attention towards him. “I mean, in case you’re forgetting that we’ve been a part of this from the start too but,” he buts in a little jokingly to lighten the mood, “yeah. Count us in. I’ll update the rest of our plans in the spreadsheet to somehow include showing that director how happy and unbothered you are about his efforts to try to quell your movie offers. He doesn’t know me that well but I sure as hell am going to make him regret messing with my friend.”

Wonpil adds, “And I’ll be contacting every news media outlet to get them to release plenty more articles about you and Brian. We’ve already made so much progress over the past month. People are starting to see you in a new light, Jae. I’ve already seen a lot of them dying for you to get casted in a romantic movie and tagging famous screenwriters about it. Won’t be long now until Cynthia notices your efforts.”

Dowoon, bless his heart, chimes in his own small but thoughtful way. “And I’ll hype you two up to all of my customers. Every time they order a drink and strike up a conversation, I’ll always start with ‘Did you know that Jae and Brian did this and that?’”

Jae’s eyes start to shine as he registers their words. This time it’s out of genuine love and appreciation almost pouring out of his chest. He really can’t believe how lucky he was to have such caring friends by his side—Sungjin and Wonpil who have been his constants for years, Brian who is surprisingly an expert at practically reading his mind and getting him to open up, and Dowoon, just the absolute cutie, who is sweet enough to want to help him out even though they haven’t known each other that long.

“Shit,” he curses softly with a tiny chuckle as a tear falls on his cheek for what feels like the hundredth time that night. “I promise I’m not usually a crybaby. But really, no words can properly express how thankful I am right now for you guys. All of you. Even you, Dowoonie.”

The bartender flushes at that. Looking down at his feet out of shyness, he responds, “Anything for my idol.”

Jae ruffles Dowoon’s hair in adoration. He continues. “Anyways, it’s been so late and I’m sorry that—”

“—what did I say about apologizing too much?”

“Just let me say this properly, Brian!” Jae argues, letting out a good-natured laugh. “I’m sorry you all had to stay out so late because of me. But to ease your minds, I _genuinely_ promise that I’m okay. I wasn’t being completely honest earlier but I am now. And it’s all thanks to you guys.”

The other four acknowledge the words by flashing Jae bright, encouraging smiles. They continue to chat freely for a while with Sungjin, Wonpil, and Jae trying to get to know more about Dowoon. The bartender secretly enjoys the attention, especially from his favorite actor, so naturally, Brian sees that as an opportunity to poke some fun at him.

But to his horror, Dowoon doesn’t hesitate to tease him back in front of the other three by recounting embarrassing stories involving the theater actor. Which pretty much initiated the others into sharing humiliating stories too.

Some time around three in the morning, after Wonpil notices his husband trying to stop himself from yawning, he decides to call it a night (or dawn? Technicalities). The others agree and now, they’re all standing in front of the bar, waiting for Dowoon to finish locking up.

“So, choose your seats, kids.” Sungjin invites jokingly as he unlocks the car parked right in front of the establishment with Wonpil hot on his heels, opening the passenger side door.

Brian makes a move to get in after them when he feels Jae’s slender fingers wrapping around his wrist. 

He turns back to the older actor. “What is it, Jae?”

But instead of answering him, Jae speaks to the rest of them. “Um, guys. You go on ahead. Brian and I have to do something first.”

“What? Right now?” Sungjin questions, turning to Brian for confirmation.

Brian schools his expression as he decides to play along even though he has no idea what Jae had in mind. “Yeah. We promise we won’t take long.”

He feels Jae’s fingers tighten against his skin in silent thanks.

Sungjin looks like he wanted to argue further but thankfully, Wonpil steps in. “Well alright then. Dowoonie, you coming?”

The young bartender seems surprised. “Oh, my apartment might be a little bit out of the way though.”

Wonpil waves it off, saying, “It’s fine. We can’t leave you walking alone in the streets at this hour.”

Dowoon mutters, “I’m twenty-four.”

“Just get in!” Wonpil insists with a light chuckle.

Dowoon gets into the backseat not a second later. And after bidding their goodbyes to the two actors, the three start driving away.

Once the car’s out of sight, Jae drops Brian’s hand to face him. As a way of asking what’s up, Brian cocks an eyebrow at the older.

“Wanna grab McDonald’s?” Jae asks easily.

Brian lets out a surprised laugh at the words. “I thought you were going to say something else.” And still, he adds, “Sure, Jae. I’d love to.”

And so, they find themselves sitting at a corner booth a few minutes later, eating their orders from the early breakfast menu. Fortunately, since most of the city is still pretty much asleep, there are only a handful of people there apart from them. And no one seemed to have recognized them, thanks to Jae’s hoodie and the ball cap covering half of Brian’s face when he ordered for the two of them.

“Aren’t you hungry? You left before dinner last night.” Brian asks him in between taking bites of his Big Mac. He eyes the small plate of nuggets sitting in front of Jae.

“I actually ate before going to the bar.”

 _Oh, yeah. Speaking of..._

Brian remembers to ask him, “Where did you go last night?”

Jae chuckles, the sound a little self-deprecating as he shares, “Nowhere in particular really. First, I just asked the cab driver to drive around the city for a while. You’re not going to believe how much the fare was. Then, I got off near one end of Central Park where some food trucks were stationed. I bought a burrito, ate it on a bench in the middle of the park, and pretty much stayed there people-watching before going to the bar.”

“Wow.”

“What can I say? That article got me good.” He shrugs, looking down to his food.

“Jae.”

He glances back to the younger. “What?”

“You never did say why you’ve been so hell-bent on staying single before this.” He gestures between the two of them, pertaining to their fake relationship. 

Jae hesitates to answer, considering his words. However, Brian interprets his silence the wrong way.

“You know what, it’s too personal. You don’t have to—”

“The very first actor that I dated after that first movie,” Jae cuts him off. “I found out that he only wanted to get close to me because he also heard about the rumor involving me and that director. He was just starting out in Hollywood and he figured that, with my help, he can fast track his career by volunteering to be one of Axel’s 'boys'. Just like me, he said.”

Brian is shocked to say the least. He pauses in munching his food as he reaches a hand out to grab Jae’s on top of the table.

Jae flashes him a small smile before continuing, “After that, I made it a point to distance myself from anyone in the industry. I’m sure not every one’s like that but I’d rather not take the chance again to find out.”

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Brian jokes, “It’s a good thing that I’m not from the same industry then.”

Jae holds his gaze as he answers, “Yeah, it really is. And Brian?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for understanding.” The sincerity in Jae’s words manifest itself through his eyes.

For some reason, Brian suddenly can’t bring himself to meet Jae’s gaze as he shies away from the intensity in his eyes. He feels warmth spreading through his face because of the weight of the older’s gaze. He pulls his hand away as he continues eating his food just to have something to do.

“You’re welcome, Jae.” He answers in a quiet voice. It already took a lot from Jae to share everything so Brian feels somewhat honored that the older entrusted him with his past. _Him_ , as in the guy that the older once had a petty rivalry with is now deemed worthy enough by Jae himself to know the whole story. Brian can’t help admiring how far their relationship has grown over the past month.

Jae finds himself smiling at the younger’s sudden shy reaction. 

_Cute_. He can’t help noticing as he spots the tips of the younger’s ears turning a light shade of pink.

Jae wonders if this can still be considered as a date in line with their fake relationship. He’s quite unsure because this time, it’s different than all of their previous dates. They hardly talked much after that, hardly did anything that's 'date-related', and didn’t touch each other again after Brian grabbed his hand. But somehow, Jae felt lighter, easier, and more liberated. Brian quietly sat across from him, sometimes stealing a few pieces of Jae’s fries when he thought the older wasn’t looking and providing comfort just by being there. 

This time, their ‘date’ is simple. More genuine. For the first time, they actually don’t want to be seen, the first time they’ve gone out without a hidden agenda. Just two friends casually eating at McDonald’s at 3:30 in the morning. 

Jae’s eternally grateful to just have his friend by his side, someone who fully understands what he’s been through because he too had struggled with carrying the burden of his past. And that alone helps them find unwavering solidarity within each other. 

Opposite him, Brian marvels at the fact that even though they haven’t been friends for long, he already feels like he knows Jae like the back of his hand, can easily read the older just by studying his face. And as he steals a glance at Jae when he isn’t looking, Brian almost sees the way in which Jae carries himself—his movements are somehow lighter, easier, and more liberated now.

As they finish their food, they just sit there, enjoying the calmness after such an emotionally tiring night along with the present company. And right now, this is all the comfort that Jae needs.

They get back to Jae’s apartment a quarter after four in the morning. Taking a seat on the couch, Jae waits for Brian to reheat the leftover chicken. (“Seriously, Brian? We just ate like ten minutes ago.” Jae reminded him from the elevator after Brian remembered the pieces of chicken he had set aside when he thought Jae would return last night. “What?” Brian asked, his eyes blinking innocently. “Food’s food. It’ll get spoiled if we didn’t eat them soon. Plus, you’ll regret not tasting them, I promise.” Jae found that he didn’t have much strength to say no to that. Brian is a good cook after all.)

Resting his back against the couch, Jae cringes a little when he remembers the way he acted before storming out of the apartment. He also remembers how he almost punched the younger during his, um, episode last night. He really, truly felt sorry.

“I said it’s fine.”

Jae startles as Brian walks back into the living room holding a plate of the chicken and two small bowls filled with different dipping sauce. 

“Did I say that out loud?”

“No, but you had a guilty look on your face.” Brian chuckles before taking a seat beside the older and setting the food on the center table.

Jae rubs the back of his head. “Still, I’d like to make it up to you. How about later today I’ll help you run lines. I did promise doing them last night.”

“Alright, deal.” Brian accepts. “Now eat while it’s still hot.”

Jae does as he’s told, grabbing a drumstick and dipping it into the bowl containing the ranch dressing. After taking a generous bite, his eyes widen a fraction.

“Holy shit, Brian, this taste so good!” He exclaims in between chewing.

Brian chuckles, glowing from the compliment as he feels satisfied with himself. “They better be. I had to find alternative ingredients to the ones you’re allergic to.”

“Wait, how did you know?”

“I read your profile on the internet,” Brian sheepishly admits, “back when we were just starting with the relationship.”

Jae gasps, mocking. “Get away from me, you stalker.”

“Shut up.” Brian says with a smile, nudging Jae’s shoulder with his.

Jae quickly finishes his first piece and proceeding to eat another. “Hey, can you put on Netflix on the tv?”

“Sure, what do you want to watch?” Brian asks as he begins setting it up.

“A romcom, maybe?”

They settle on watching The Proposal. And not even fifteen minutes into the movie, the last few pieces of chicken gets eaten by the two of them. Brian finds himself immersed into the plot, occasionally laughing at Ryan Reynolds’ antics and Sandra Bullocks sassy remarks. More than halfway through, as the protagonists in the movie start getting confused feelings within their pretend relationship, Brian turns his head sideways to see if Jae’s enjoying the movie just as much as he is.

However, he finds the older slouched on the couch, fast asleep. Brian chuckles lightly before reaching for the remote to pause the film. Then, he proceeds to Jae’s room to retrieve a blanket before returning to the living room. He carefully shifts the older’s position so that he’s more comfortable. He gently lays Jae’s head on the low armrest and splays his long legs across the entire length of the couch. Once he’s satisfied, he covers the older’s lower body with the blanket. And when he’s done, he goes to sit on the floor, rests his back against the couch right by Jae’s hips, and continues watching the movie—with the volume lowered considerably, of course.

Brian’s not really a religious person but in that moment, as he hears soft snores coming from the older, he finds himself praying to all things holy that Jae ends up having a dreamless sleep.

  
  



	6. so tell me what you want to hear, something that will light those ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a common formula for films: cut to a montage before you get to the good part

**_10 times Jaebri proved to us that they’re the most domestic and down-to-earth couple this generation has ever seen!_ **

_**10.** **When they were spotted having a lovely brunch in a local bakery**_

_**9.** **When Brian fed a piece of bread to Jae**_

_(see this Instagram post from a fan for more details)_

_**8.** **And when Jae playfully bit his lovely boyfriend’s fingers while being fed** (swoon!)_

_**7.** **When they bought groceries together after taking a quick jog around the streets of New York** _

_(sources say that Brian took care of buying all the food while Jae took it upon himself to buy home essentials. Now we know who cooks and who does the chores in this relationship!)_

_**6.** **When they helped a lovely older woman load her groceries into the trunk of her car at the parking lot at Whole Foods**_

_(not all heroes wear capes, ladies and gents! Sometimes, they’re as handsome as Jaebri too!)_

**_5._** _**When Jae posted on Instagram a stolen shot of Brian admiring a beautiful painting on the Met **_

_(yes, Jae, we get it. He’s the most beautiful piece of art you’ve ever seen!)_

_**4.** **And when Brian countered that picture by posting a candid photo of them together in the museum. Jae had his head thrown back in laughter but sweet, sweet Brian just stared at him with hearts in his eyes** _

_(see, Jae? Brian only has eyes for you too!)_

_**3.** **When they were spotted eating at McDonald’s at three in the morning** (!!!)_

_**2.** **All the kisses they shared while out in public** (we figured they’re too many to list individually so they easily took the second highest spot!) _

_**1.** **And last but definitely not the least, nothing screams domestic almost as much as looking at home furniture together!**_

_(we can neither confirm nor deny if they shopped for things in the bedroom section together *wink wink*)_

_92.5k shares, 126.4k likes, and 28.3k comments_

  
  
***  
  


“I’m really sorry I’m late, my love.”

“No worries,” Brian assures him with a sweet smile. “You’re here now. And we still have the rest of the evening to spend together, I’m just glad to have you alone. I missed you.”

“Um, actually, about that...” Jae starts, a little sheepish as he walks closer to the younger and cups the side of his face with one hand. “I’m also going to have to cut our dinner short.”

Brian sighs, disappointed but used to it by now. “But it’s our anniversary tonight.”

“I know, I know. And I’m so sorry. It’s just that I’m working on something for my fans and tonight’s my only free night. You understand that, right?” Jae leans forward to rest their foreheads together and to place a soft kiss on the space between his eyebrows as an attempt to erase his frown and to melt his heart once more.

Brian reaches to grab Jae’s hand on his cheek, seemingly unable to hold anything against the other as he already finds his anger dissipating. “Of course, I do. You know that you always have my support. It’s just... we’ve been planning for this for two months.”

“My love...” Jae sighs, giving Brian a pleading look. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. And hey, I can still stay for a while. My manager won’t be here to pick me up in a few minutes. At least let’s make it worthwhile, shall we?”

Brian nods, a small defeated smile gracing his lips.

Delighted, Jae adjusts his position in front of the younger. He grabs one of Brian’s hands and places it on his hip before he starts humming a sweet tune as they sway slowly and gently along with it.

“Happy anniversary to us.” After a few moments, Jae whispers against his ear.

“Happy anniversary.” Brian whispers back, stilling their motions as he gives Jae a meaningful look. “And for what it’s worth, I really am proud of you and everything that you’ve done.”

Jae’s eyes start to shine as he waits for the younger’s next move.

However, he sees hesitation and uncertainty dance across Brian’s features as he takes too long to respond.

The younger isn’t sure if he should continue, already knowing what’s about to happen. 

Somehow, inside the privacy of his room in Jae’s apartment, what the narrative asks him to do suddenly feels more intimate.

Checking the script on his free hand, Jae reads out loud to remind him, “Bri, it says here that you’re supposed to give Satine a kiss before she leaves for the night and you start singing your solo song.”

Brian snaps out of it as he takes a step back to put a little distance between their bodies. He looks down to read the script as an attempt to hide the growing blush on his face. 

_Pull it together, Brian! He’s already helping you run lines, why can’t you do your part properly?_ The theater actor chastises himself for being distracted.

Jae easily notices Brian’s reaction so he decides to tease him. “What, don’t tell me you’re suddenly being shy around me now?” He plops down onto the younger’s bed as he feels that their scene is already over. 

He remembers all of the younger’s bold and daring advances towards him from their past dates. He can’t help marvelling at how ironic it is that when they no longer have an audience, Brian gets all flustered and awkward. As the days go by, he’s delighted to get to know more about the many different sides of the theater actor. He’s already met the mean and bratty Brian, the sweet and understanding Brian who easily became his friend, the food-lover Brian who always finishes all of Jae’s leftovers, and this shy and flustered Brian who rarely makes an appearance but is already making its way to become one of Jae’s favorites. The older cannot wait to find out more.

The younger faces him again. “No, I’m just not sure how to do this right.” He shares, referring to the note written by the musical director on one side of the script. 

Of course, this is what he tells Jae. That he’s unsure on how to act that’s why he put a stop to the scene and not at all because he suddenly chickened out. He doesn’t even know why he got scared. It’s just a freaking kiss, right? They’re both actors, it hardly means anything. Not to mention that they already kissed a handful of times before this. 

Brian groans internally. _Am I losing my touch? This role is definitely messing up my game, I really need to nail this character now._

“Oh, what is it?” Jae asks, reaching his hand out. “Let me see.” 

The extra copy of the script Brian has let him read is a plain regular one (just a media release), empty of additional notes and other parenthetical instructions for the performers written by the playwright and musical director unlike that of Brian’s copy.

The younger points him to the page full of hand-written comments and notes. “It says that Christian is to give Satine a sweet, loving, and fairytale-like kiss.” He frowns at the words, continuing, “Which doesn’t make sense to me at all.”

Jae looks at him in question. “How so?”

“Well, it’s their anniversary, right? And Satine still chose to do something for her fans instead of spending time with her boyfriend? Why would Christian kiss her as if she didn’t do anything wrong?”

“Ah,” Jae nods in understanding. “See that’s the thing, I guess. Correct me if I’m wrong, but from what I’ve read about Christian so far, he has completely accepted that, for Satine, he will always come in second to her career. So, he knows that she must already be feeling tired but instead of resting during her short free time, she still chose to spend it with him. I think underneath the initial disappointment, Christian is even thankful for that.”

Brian is still unsure.

“I don’t know, dude,” Jae tells him with a light chuckle. “Unconditional love is weird and it doesn’t make sense to me either but that’s what your character feels. I think that’s what motivates Christian to accept Satine’s fans. Even though he has to share Satine’s affection with all of them, he doesn’t mind it much because he knows that they make Satine happy too. I guess when you love someone that much, you simply feel happy when they’re happy. Basically, their happiness becomes _your_ happiness. Even when you’re not the reason behind it.”

The theater actor considers the words. While he still can’t claim to understand Christian’s mindset, he sure can bring himself to at least fake his expression to something that resembles the character’s feelings. In that way, he can hopefully be a step closer to connecting with him. Or maybe just trick the musical director and Adrienne Laurent into thinking that he perfectly embodies Christian too. His heart pounds out of anxiety and nervousness at the reminder that they’re starting rehearsals for more of Christian and Satine’s heavier and more meaningful scenes together at the start of the following week. He really needs to step up his game.

It has already been three weeks since their official script-reading and that night they talked at Dowoon’s aunt’s bar. Brian has already gone on six practice sessions and fortunately, they only rehearsed the first few scenes of the play thus far. They were easy to perfect because they mostly just initially laid out the backstory and introduced the personalities of the characters.

Brian quickly performed right past those scenes, a product of meticulous studying of the script and rehearsing at home with a little help from Jae. The older was there to always remind him of Christian’s quirks and tells and even adding a few suggestions of his own to give more flavor and depth to the character. Brian is beyond thankful for him.

However, just from two days ago when they rehearsed one of the two main protagonists’ scenes for the first time, Brian was basically a nervous wreck. He almost forgot all of Jae’s advice and reassuring words as he stood on stage with the female actress playing his love interest. He really doesn’t remember much from that rehearsal but hey, at least he survived it. And while the musical director and Adrienne did not have anything bad to say about his performance then, they also didn’t have anything good to compliment him with. And in Brian’s book, that’s never a pleasant sign and still considered a failure.

“I really just want to understand Christian’s motivations though,” Brian shares, “so that I can actually bring him to life on stage and not feel like a fraud.”

Jae clicks his tongue at the younger’s pessimistic take on his predicament. “Don’t let this one role affect the way you view yourself as an artist, Brian. You’ve already nailed all of Christian’s other scenes. Pat yourself on the back for that. One small shortcoming doesn’t erase everything that you’ve been able to accomplish throughout the years, don’t let it define you.” He taps the space beside him on the bed. “Come on. Why don’t we take a break for now? We’ve been doing this for at least two hours already.”

“I don’t know...” Brian is reluctant to let himself relax for the night. 

“We’ll eat snacks in bed while having a movie marathon. I’ll even let you take over choosing the movie. Come on, I know you’re dying to make me watch Harry Potter...” Jae offers enticingly, knowing full well about Brian’s ultimate weaknesses—food and fantasy movies.

Him on the other hand is on the fence about them (the movies not the food). He hasn’t even watched one of the eight movies in the series from start to finish as he only knows enough to name the four houses and the three main characters. He’s really more of a romcom or romantic tragedies kind of guy, don’t blame him. But hey, he’s more than willing to compromise if it calms Brian down, distracting his mind from worrying too much about the play.

Obviously that does the trick as Brian closes the script and places it on top of his desk along with the copy he gave to Jae earlier. He then sets up his laptop while the older goes out of the room to retrieve whatever available food they have in the pantry.

They have started this routine of watching movies in Brian’s bed together instead of their usual habit of watching them in the living room after Brian suggested it two weeks ago. He claimed that he hated having to wake himself up enough to turn off the tv and walk back to his room to get a comfortable sleep as opposed to sleeping on the couch or on the floor. Jae easily agreed to it because when he fell asleep on the couch for hours on end after they got back from McDonald’s, his lower back hurt like hell. Brian even teased him relentlessly that he must’ve had wild, rocking sex with the way he’s grabbing his hips that time. 

(“That’s clearly a morning-after-getting-pounded kind of walk!” Brian was clutching at his stomach from laughing too much as Jae winced again, struggling to walk properly. 

To save his dignity, Jae scoffed, a little offended at the insinuation. “Please. You and I both know this is the product of sleeping on the couch for ten hours straight. And for your information, I am _not_ a bottom. But I guess _you_ would know.

Well, that shut Brian up pretty quickly.)

But the real thing is, Brian suggested that because, in his own way, he wanted to help Jae get some rest. After he found the older being lulled to sleep by watching movie after movie with a full stomach three weeks ago, he figured why not give it a try every night. He chose his room to have their movie marathons because he read somewhere that people who often have nightmares find relief in sleeping in an environment that’s different from their own. It might not have been that big of a difference but Brian is an optimist. He made do with what he has. He began rearranging the furniture in his room so that it doesn’t resemble Jae’s at all and definitely made it his own by adding a few decorations and even buying new lamps to provide ambient lighting. And so, slowly but surely, it had started working. 

Of course, there are still nights that Jae finds himself lying completely awake even until dawn breaks the horizon as there is no such thing as a quick fix, but at least on some nights that Brian’s efforts actually work, Jae finds it harder and harder to leave the younger’s bed to go back to his own. It’s been so long since he’d known what being drowsy feels like that he almost doesn’t want to pull himself out of it and just lay there beside the younger’s sleeping form. But alas, he figured he didn’t have Brian’s permission to sleep in the same bed with him so he always drags himself back to his room at night. Where he will lay awake again for hours on end, the tempting pull of slumber slipping right off his fingers once more.

As Brian settles against the mattress with his back resting against the headboard, Jae returns to the room with a heap of junk food barely hanging on in one arm with the other carrying four cans of beer wedged against his torso to prevent them from falling.

Brian raises an eyebrow at him in silent questioning.

“What?” Jae asks innocently. “Two for you and two for me. I’m tired so I don’t really feel like drinking a lot tonight.”

Brian feels satisfied with that answer as he makes room for the older on the bed. He has his laptop sitting on top of the blanket by his lap, the first movie waiting to be played.

The older places the snacks on the floor and the rest of the alcohol on the nightstand as he hands Brian a can.

“What do you want? Pringles, Cheetos, or popcorn?”

“Popcorn, please.” 

Jae grabs the bag from the floor, turning off the main light but leaving the bedside lamp on before taking his place beside the younger. He gracefully shoves his long legs underneath the sheets, his right knee accidentally bumping against Brian’s exposed left thigh. 

Actually, because it’s only a twin bed, Jae and Brian are pretty much touching from their shoulders all the way to their legs. 

Not that they mind it one bit.

They’ve reached that point in their friendship where they feel comfortable enough to be so close to each other now; where frequent skinship is no longer weird but is actually a pleasant thing. They even began wearing boxer shorts again at the apartment instead of the usual sweatpants they used to wear when they started living together. After that night at the bar and when they had their own thing at McDonald’s, something shifted between them. It’s like flipping on a switch as they now feel like they’ve gotten closer. A total contrast to what they were five years ago. Now, Brian has been relentless in making sure that Jae doesn’t retreat back to himself again. He has always been there to gently pull his thoughts back to reality and to keep him from getting trapped in his head. He kept at it ever since then and in a matter of a couple of weeks, he has been rewarded with so much progress.

One important thing that Brian noticed, and is immensely thankful for, is that Jae doesn’t hide from him anymore, no longer hesitating to open up. Whenever he drinks at night or when he feels like he’s having trouble trying to get some sleep, he talks about it with Brian. 

The younger treasures that the most. And so he makes sure to return that trust by sharing some details about his personal life too.

In such a short amount of time, they have settled into this state of mutual understanding and reassurance that they only found in each other; a kind of relationship that usually takes years for most people to develop.

They’re well into the first movie from the franchise when Jae speaks up, remembering something that kept bugging him before.

“Hey, Brian.”

“Hm?” The younger is distracted, eyes glued to the screen and taking occasional sips of beer.

So, Jae tries again.

“Younghyun-ah.”

As expected, this pulls his attention to the older. He finds Jae softly snickering by his side as he startles slightly at the sound of his birth name. 

“Why don’t you like being called Younghyun?”

Brian unknowingly tilts his head in confusion.

Jae has half a mind to notice how adorable he looked at the small gesture.

“Who said I don’t like it?”

Jae shrugs. “Well, back then when I would call you that, you’d have this look on your face every single time.” He tries to copy it by recalling from memory but he only ends up looking constipated. A far cry from Brian’s surprised look from five years ago.

Brian lets out a delighted laugh at that. “So you’re saying that I looked like I ate something bad every time you called me by my birth name?”

“Your words not mine.” Jae joins in his laughter. “No but seriously, you looked like I offended you or something.”

Brian releases a breath, resting his head against the headboard as he stares at the ceiling. “I was more surprised than anything, really. I chose not to have my name published anywhere to have some semblance of separation but then to have you call me that out of the blue? I just wasn’t expecting it. And, well, we weren’t exactly friends then, right?”

Jae hums in response, recalling that the reason he learned about the younger’s name was to throw him off his rhythm in that acting class.

“By the way,” Brian starts, “how _did_ you know about my name in the first place?”

He sees Jae sporting a sheepish look before saying, “Remember when we submitted our professional backgrounds before the start of acting class?” Brian nods. “I had Sungjin ask coach Jung for your real name in the document. Him and Wonpil are friends with her, that’s why I was able to know.”

“Now who’s the stalker one between us?” Brian teases.

“See, this is why we get along. We’re both petty, competitive, and a little broken from our past.” Jae just chuckles at that, nudging his shoulder against the younger’s.

“No, we’re not.” 

Brian’s voice is suddenly serious as he makes sure that Jae sees the sincerity and absolute certainty in his eyes. 

“You’re not broken, Jae.”

The older feels the intensity in Brian’s gaze envelop him completely, an unexpected sense of calm spreading through his entire body as the younger’s eyes remain locked on his. 

He finds himself staring back as a heavy silence falls into the room. A mere few inches separate their faces with their breaths almost mingling together between them. They’re so close that Jae can easily smell the sweet lavender scent of the younger’s shampoo. 

A blanket of comfort and warmth settle over them as they stare at each other for what feels like a long time, seemingly unable to look away, and a silent question being asked through their eyes. And just when Jae’s about to say something—thank him for his constant reassurance or express his appreciation for always pulling him out of the mercy of his thoughts—the loud sound of explosion reverberates from the screen, startling them apart.

Brian sees that the main fight scene has already started so he excitedly tells Jae, “Oh, watch this. It’s the best part of the movie, I swear.”

And just like that, the serene moment they had was over.

A couple of hours later, as they’re in the middle of watching the fourth movie almost halfway into the marathon, Jae feels Brian’s frame gradually growing heavy against his side. They have settled into lying in bed some time during the second movie as the crevices of the headboard started digging painfully onto their backs. The laptop sits on top of a pillow resting against the space between their stomachs.

Jae cranes his neck to the side to see Brian’s face just in time to catch his eyelids fluttering close, the tips of his lashes barely brushing against the soft skin of his high cheekbones.

“Bri, are you asleep?” He calls in the softest voice he could muster. He only asked because he felt the slow steady breathing of the younger against him as Brian promptly wraps an arm around his waist, using him as a personal pillow. 

_Such a baby._ Jae melts a little on the inside.

A tiny smile graces the older’s lips at the sight of the theater actor snuggling his nose against his shoulder, trying to get comfortable.

“No, I’m not.” He mumbles sleepily, still with his eyes firmly closed.

Jae snorts, soft and fond. _Even when he’s half-asleep, he’s just as stubborn as ever._

“Sure, you’re not.” The older replies, completely disbelieving.

He reaches with his free hand, one that’s not practically stuck under the younger’s body, to press pause on the movie. He’s careful with the movement so as to not wake Brian.

“You’re doing a poor job of convincing me that this whole series is not boring when you fell asleep right in the middle of it.” He gives out a light chuckle before shutting the laptop close and placing it gently on the floor. He cringes a little in seeing the discarded bags of snacks scattered across the carpet along with four empty cans of beer.

He makes a mental note to clean up the mess right away after he manages to free himself from the younger’s grasp.

However, now that Brian can freely move around because of the sudden absence of the laptop resting on his tummy, his whole frame turns sideways, facing the older in bed. He unconsciously tightens his hold on Jae’s waist as he pulls him closer.

Jae finds that he can easily study the younger’s face this way. And so that’s what he does instead.

His eyes scan Brian’s face slowly, starting from the roots of his raven hair down to the tiny moles on the side of his neck. He studies how tranquil and peaceful he looks that Jae feels himself relaxing as well. His eyes follow the delicate line of the bridge of his nose. As if having a mind of its own, his hand reaches out to trace the moles along his neck all the way to his ear. He tries drawing a line connecting them with his forefinger, barely touching but still close enough to feel the younger’s pulse point at the spot below his soft jawline. But when Brian releases a breathy sigh from the feather-like touches, Jae breaks off from his trance. 

Quickly withdrawing his hand, he can’t help feeling as if he’s done something wrong. So, he immediately pries his eyes away from the beautiful sight laid out in front of him, all for him to marvel at but can’t.

Heaving a deep sigh, Jae tries to get up only to realize that the younger’s arm has him completely trapped.

“Bri.”

He doesn’t get a response.

“Bribri.”

Still nothing.

“Brian.”

He waits some more.

“Younghyun-ah...”

The younger merely groans in complaint. “What do you want?”

“I gotta get to my own bed.”

“Just stay here.”

“Why?”

Because Brian is barely conscious and way deep into dreamland, he’s looser with words as he tells Jae the real reason why he wanted him there. “At least when you wake up from another nightmare, you won’t be alone.” 

He wraps his leg around the older for good measure. His voice is slightly muffled by Jae’s shoulder squishing the side of his cheek but Jae still heard him crystal clear.

His heart flutters almost violently in his chest. Warm color dusts his neck, cheeks, and the tips of his ears as he recalls the very first time Brian woke him up after he began screaming in his sleep.

It was about a week ago. It was the night after him and Brian had another public appearance at a famous furniture store when his mind succumbed into another nightmare. Apparently, Brian woke up after hearing his cries through the thin wall separating their rooms. He ran towards the older’s room, bringing him back to reality. He stayed with Jae for what felt like hours, whispering words of comfort and assurance to his ears and reminding him to take deep breaths. He kept brushing Jae’s hair away from his forehead. He held Jae protectively in his arms with the older hugging his knees and his back resting against Brian’s chest. The theater actor thought how the older had never looked so small and fragile than he did that night. 

And when Brian had finally gotten him to calm down or at least stopped shaking, Jae permitted himself to savor the feeling of being held. He couldn’t even remember the last time he felt safe and secure under someone else’s care like that. 

“Jae...” Brian had started then, quiet and careful, breaking Jae from his reverie. “Please don’t take this the wrong way but, have you ever considered getting help?”

“I did before. But I couldn’t go through with it.” His voice was deep but hoarse from sleep and screaming a few minutes ago.

“Why not?” Brian asked. “If you’re worried about finding someone trustworthy, I can give you Dowoon’s aunt’s contact details.”

“No, that’s not it.” Jae paused, considering. “Well, yeah, there’s also that, I guess. But mostly, the reason that I couldn’t go through with it is also the reason why I started having nightmares in the first place. That by admitting that I need help, I’ve already let Axel win. That he has succeeded in disrupting my entire life. So, since I can still manage on my own, I’ll just suck it up and go on like nothing’s wrong.”

Brian looked like he had something more to say but decided to drop it as he placed a soft kiss on top of Jae’s head.

Jae was too preoccupied with the turmoil of his thoughts to overanalyze what the gesture meant, like what he’s always wont to do. Even if he asked, he wouldn’t get an answer anyway as Brian only realized he did it after the fact.

And so for the rest of the night, Brian stayed with him. They didn’t talk much as they just laid there. At one point, they started cuddling, neither knowing who made the first move but both too starved of physical touch to even think about fighting it.

The quiet but deep sounds coming from within Brian’s throat pulls Jae’s attention to the current reality. It seems that the theater actor is too far gone from consciousness as he started snoring softly against Jae’s shoulder. He realizes that he really can’t escape now because the younger’s limbs held him completely captive. So, with a soft content smile, Jae just settles in for the night.

He finds that he doesn’t have much strength in him to leave Brian’s bed anyway. And that some time later, much less of a time than Jae would have expected, he finds himself drifting off to sleep too. The soft, steady sound of Brian’s breathing unsurprisingly provides a soothing effect on him.

  
  


Ever since then, Jae has started to notice Brian’s efforts to help him get enough rest. It began with Brian dragging him to bed every night to watch a movie. Then, he began practicing the songs of the play in the afternoon after he found out that Jae used to secretly listen to his sweet crooning voice in his room. So instead of hiding in the guest room as he sang, he started singing freely in the living room all for Jae to hear. The younger had actually succeeded in tricking Jae to have a quick late afternoon nap because of it.

Of course, on some nights that Jae still finds it a little harder to fall asleep, as he grabs a few bottles of beer from the fridge, Brian catches sight of it. But instead of telling him not to drink and trying to convince him to suck it up without the help of alcohol, Jae is pleasantly surprised that the theater actor would also grab a bottle or two for himself, keeping him company and not letting him drink alone. And so they would sit on the balcony by Jae’s room, sometimes they talk and sometimes they don’t. And it feels completely peaceful.

Because that’s the thing, Brian understands him. He knows when Jae needs someone to talk to and knows when he just needs silent companionship. 

(In addition to that, Brian’s also there to subtly pull a few drinks back, away from the older’s grasp, when he thinks that Jae isn’t looking. But alas, he is. He always sees Brian. And still, he lets Brian do that for him.)

These days, Jae strangely feels... _content_ by everything. The thought that Brian tried to come up with different ways to help him all on his own? His heart suddenly feels full to bursting every single time he remembers his efforts and he doesn’t even know what to make of it.

He does not want to question this wonderful feeling, afraid he might just ruin it, but he admits that he now holds the Harry Potter series dearly to his heart. And it’s all for an entirely different reason. 

Of course, he will never tell Brian about that tiny bit of information.

So, to show his appreciation, just after two days since they had that movie marathon and two days of him sleeping in Brian’s bed ever since, Jae decides to wake up extra early one Friday morning. Or at least, relatively earlier than Brian because the younger usually doesn’t wake up until after nine in the morning.

After checking the time from the nightstand, 8:42AM, Jae gently and carefully peels off Brian’s arm that’s lying on top of his torso as he tries to get out of the bed, the warmth of it almost tempting him to stay longer.

He gathers the remnants of their midnight snacks and drinks on the floor before making his way out of the room.

He proceeds to the bathroom first after dumping everything in the garbage can to do his routine, splashing water on his face, combing through his ratty hair with his fingers, and grabbing his yellow electric toothbrush right beside Brian’s purple one on the vanity counter. 

Once he’s done, he pads all the way to the kitchen to try his hand at cooking their breakfast. He surveys the contents of the fridge. His hands easily grab the eggs, bacon, cheese, and butter. He also hunts the pantry for a loaf of wheat bread. 

He decides to make cheesy omelettes (well, at least Brian’s contains cheese while his is just plain), a lot of bacon strips (he knows how much the younger loves meat), and toasted bread.

_It’s simple enough not to mess up, I think?_

Sure, he’s not a chef like Brian but at least he has been able to manage on his own before, right?

_Yeah, by always ordering take-outs and deliveries._

He shakes his head a few times to get rid of the taunting voice in his head.

He starts by beating the eggs in a bowl while he waits for the pan to get extra hot enough to quickly melt the butter. He then proceeds to manually separate the strips of bacon before putting the pieces of bread in the toaster. And in doing so, he miscalculates how hot the pan has gotten.

“Oh, shoot!” He sees that the melted butter has turned brown and close to burning so to try to salvage it, he immediately pours the eggs into the pan. However, in his haste, a few drops of scalding hot butter splashes onto his hands.

“Fuckfuckfuck!” He curses some more as he runs to the sink to wash off the butter from his alarmingly reddening skin.

He sighs in relief when he feels the coldness of the water doing wonders to his hands so he stays there for a little while. But after a couple of minutes, he notices the smell of something burning that he remembers he hadn’t turned the stove into low heat after dumping the beaten eggs into the pan. 

Armed with a spatula, he tries to fold the omelette in half only to see that the outside is already burnt. Sighing in defeat, he turns off the stove, deciding to try again. 

In the meantime, he checks on the bread. At least he hasn’t managed to mess that up too.

But when he reaches a hand close to the appliance, he frowns when he feels no heat coming from it. He leans forward to take a closer look only to groan out of frustration and embarrassment.

Apparently, he forgot to plug in the toaster. 

_Am I this dumb?_

Yes, Jae is hopeless in the kitchen, don’t laugh at him. There’s a reason he volunteered to do all the cleaning (even scrubbing down every nook and cranny of the bathroom) so that leaves all of the kitchen duties entirely to Brian’s care.

He checks the time on the microwave. 9:14AM.

 _That took me almost thirty minutes?_ Jae is understandably baffled by how much time he’s wasted in trying and failing at cooking. _Great. Now I’m back to square one. And any minute now, Brian’s—_

“Jae?”

Jae startles from the sudden voice that he drops the pan loudly on the sink.

“What’s that smell?” Brian asks him with a slight frown, unknowingly scratching the back of his head and messing up his hair even more. “What’s going on here?”

He looks adorably confused with his head tilted to the side that Jae felt himself getting self-conscious under his gaze. He fails to come up with a decent explanation to the mess that he has created in the kitchen. Only remembering now that he also has to clean it too.

Brian easily figures out what happened based on the guilty look on Jae’s face, the burnt omelette still sitting on the pan, and the forgotten plate of uncooked bacon on top of the counter.

A smile slowly stretches across his lips, equal parts teasing and absolute fondness. “You made breakfast?”

Jae sighs as a response before dumping the food on the trash.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Brian backtracks, “you _burnt_ breakfast?”

“I was just trying to be nice, okay?”

“What for?”

“Nothing in particular. I just wanted to cook for you for once.” Jae shares begrudgingly, his lips unknowingly jutted out in a tiny pout.

Brian’s heart thuds unexpectedly at that. He feels himself melting at the thoughtfulness behind Jae’s actions. He finds it difficult to suppress the sudden strong urge to pinch the older’s cheeks. He just wants to rush over to him to shower those puffy cheeks with much-deserved devotion.

And then he questions why he even hesitated doing that in the first place. He just wanted to show his friend some affection, there’s nothing wrong with that, right? 

_We literally just slept on the same bed (platonically, of course) and now I can’t even pinch his cheeks like a normal human being?_

However, Brian actively avoids asking himself the most important questions. 

Why did he want to pinch Jae’s cheeks then? Are his intentions behind it still purely platonic? 

The theater actor is too scared to find out about the answer so he quickly lets the matter go.

Fortunately, Jae’s voice distracts him from his confusing thoughts. 

“Hey, Bri?” Jae starts with a bashful smile. “Want to go out for brunch instead?”

“Sure.” Brian easily agrees. 

And really, he no longer has even a tiny bit of strength to say no to Jae these days.

  
  


About twenty minutes later, they claimed a table for two in the local bakery-slash-café where they had their first official fake date. After quickly changing out of their shirts and boxer shorts and into more appropriate but nondescript clothes, they quickly made their way to the store. 

This is the second time they’ve gone out on their own. Completely unplanned and with no hidden agenda in mind. They genuinely just wanted to eat together.

The lady behind the register recognized them again. Fortunately, she was sweet enough to keep it to herself, just like what she did the very first time they were at the place. She even directed them to a table away from the other customers, a more private spot that’s deeper inside the cafe and farthest from the windows.

“Jae.” Brian starts, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Hm?” Jae hums in response, his mouth busy taking a huge bite of the sandwich that he’s been eating to say anything else. 

And as he licks his lips to get rid of the crumbs, he misses the tiny bit of dressing on his mouth.

In a heartbeat, as if it’s second nature and completely instinctive, Brian reaches to wipe off a bit of sauce right by Jae’s lower lip and proceeds to lick it off his own finger.

Jae is a little surprised by the gesture but he decides not to dwell on it too much. He figures the younger only did it because, well, for obvious reasons: to keep up appearances for their fake relationship. And even though this isn’t a fake date, there’s still a huge chance that they’re being watched without them knowing. They can’t risk being too casual about it.

Jae doesn’t know why the thought disappoints him a little.

Of course, he also doesn’t know that Brian is as equally surprised and internally freaking out as Jae is but at least he’s doing a good job of hiding it. _And why am I suddenly making a big deal out of it? Jae had some sandwich dressing on his lip so, naturally, as a good friend, I wiped it off._

(And proceeded to lick it off his own finger oh, so intimately. In case he’s forgetting.)

Yeah, Brian isn’t fully convinced with his excuse either.

“So, um, I read somewhere that you’re a Korean-American.” The theater actor shares to distract from scolding himself. 

He recalls the confusion he had when he first saw Jae at the acting class. How he kept bowing as he apologized to their acting coach. And how the younger noticed the fluent way Jae spoke in English even though he was reported to have been in LA for only half a year before getting the role in his first movie. “Is that true? I thought you only lived in South Korea all your life before moving to LA.”

“Oh, I thought that too,” Jae agrees, placing his sandwich back on the plate as he starts gesturing with his hands. A telltale sign that Brian knows all too well, it means that Jae is eager to share a story.

“Okay, so,” Jae starts with his hands steepled on top of the table. “I grew up watching movies and plays in the English language pretty religiously so eventually, I learned to speak it too. Preteen-Jae was even kinda impressed with himself back then. But then my mom broke it to me immediately that it was because I already spoke a few English when I was way younger, that subconsciously I just recalled and relearned them again. Apparently, we lived in California for the first three to four years of my life. It’s where I was born thus, my dual citizenship.” 

As he finishes, he grabs Brian’s large mug to take a sip of the drink. Jae didn’t buy coffee this time, jokingly telling the younger that he just didn’t want a repeat of their first fake date where he spilled half a cup of hot americano all over the younger’s shirt.

So, in return, Brian wordlessly gave his own cup for them to share.

“Wait, so you don’t remember ever living outside of Korea?”

“I vaguely remember that we used to travel a lot when I was a kid before settling down but other than that, nothing.” He picks up his sandwich again before asking, “What about you, Bri? Have you ever been to Korea? Or has it always been Canada and the US for you?”

“No and yes.” Brian answers, brushing the crumbs off his hands as he already finished all of his food—a foot long sandwich full of meat and vegetables (but mostly meat)—a couple of minutes ago. “My dad’s family moved to Toronto when he was just starting high school while my mom pretty much grew up in Ottawa. Even my grandparents are all in Canada. So that’s pretty much it. I do want to try and visit Korea though. Hopefully soon.”

“I can take you,” Jae easily offers. “It’s been two years since I went back home. Let me know when you’re planning on going and I’ll be your handsome local tour guide.” He winks teasingly at that, still ever so cheesy and charming.

Despite not being a hundred percent sure that Jae meant the invitation, Brian still flourishes at the idea of seeing Jae’s hometown with him. “That’d be great, actually. And, you know, when you find yourself wanting to tour the Great White North, you know who to call.”

“Who?”

Brian is about to say his name when he sees the slight playfulness in Jae’s eyes.

Sighing at his own gullible self, he points at the almost forgotten sandwich on Jae’s hands. “Are you going to finish that?” His eyes betray the shyness in his voice as they remain locked on the food.

Jae fondly shakes his head at him before wordlessly placing it on the younger’s empty plate.

Brian gives out a small cheer before quickly taking a generous bite. 

“Thanks Jae.” His voice is muffled by all of the food stuffed in his mouth.

Jae hums in acknowledgment. 

“By the way, speaking of your mom,” he pauses, offering a paper towel to the younger, “any ideas on what I should buy for her birthday next week?”

“Oh, you don’t have to. I swear, my mom hates receiving gifts. She would much rather spend time with—”

“Excuse me, Mr. Jae Park, sir?”

The two actors both look at the person who dared interrupt their date only to find two young teenage boys accompanied by one adult female looking at Jae with stars in their eyes.

Out of curiosity, the other customers in the café are looking at them. Realizing quickly that they’ve let their guard down long enough for people to start recognizing who they are, Brian subtly gestures with his finger touching the inside of his palm—one of their agreed upon hand signals, asking, _should we leave now?_

Jae easily gets the message but decides against it. In response, he touches the inside of his wrist just above his pulse point. _Stay._

Brian gives a furtive nod.

“Can I help you?” Twisting in his seat to face them, Jae asks with a well-practiced smile plastered on his face.

“We’re so sorry to bother you on your date but my sons are such _big_ fans of you.” The mother informs them with a warm smile. Upon her words, the two give out eager nods of agreement as they continue staring at Jae, seemingly speechless.

“That’s no problem at all.” Jae easily replies as he flashes the two boys a more genuine smile. Brian notices that Jae’s stance has shifted into something welcoming now. “It’s always a pleasure to meet you guys.”

The taller, and probably older, boy speaks up, still a little shy as he stammers, “W-we were just wondering if we could get a picture—”

“—and an autograph!” The other boy adds excitedly. But then he remembers where they are so he shrinks back to himself and mutters, “That is, if it’s not much of a bother, Jae.”

Brian finds himself smiling as he watches the whole exchange.

“Of course, it’s not.” Jae assures, chuckling lightly as the two boys release a barely-contained squeal. They quickly hand the actor a notebook for Jae to sign.

“May I ask for your names?”

“I’m Andy,” the shorter kid introduces, “and this is my brother Paul.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, Andy and Paul.” Jae greets them. “And, um, I’d also like you to meet my boyfriend, Brian Kang.”

Brian gives them a friendly wave.

Andy lets out tiny giggles as he timidly waves back. “We already know who he is, Jae. We know a lot about you.” He stops himself when he hears the way the words sounded. “But I swear it’s not in a weird way at all!”

Paul adds, “We really are your biggest fans, Jae! You have been such a huge inspiration to me especially ever since I watched you on the big screen for the first time.”

“It’s such an honor to hear that.” And Jae means every word with all his heart.

Paul continues, “But for real, I saw myself in you. I love to play sports but as you can see, I’m a little lanky so I’ve always been picked on at school. My confidence took a hit and so I avoided playing for quite some time. But when I read one of your interviews about not letting the fact that you were bullied stop you from doing the things that you love, I remember thinking that ‘hey, this famous Hollywood actor is just like me!’ So if you can rise above them and just focus on what you’re doing, then what’s stopping me from doing the same? And, oh my god, I’m basically ranting now which is so embarrassing but I really just wanted you to know how much you mean to kids like me and that I really, really love you, Jae! I’ll always support you.”

Now Jae is the one who’s speechless. 

It’s moments like this that reminds him that something positive can actually come out of his career. That it’s more than just a form of artistic expression. He has been able to touch and inspire a lot of people all because of his acting. He genuinely believes that this might just be the best part about this whole thing, and that all of the things he’d been through because of Hollywood are absolutely worth it if it meant that he gets to do something as meaningful as this for other people. And that there’s a purpose to this after all. He just got a little sidetracked from remembering it.

Across from him, Brian studies all of the different emotions playing across his features. Sure, at first he was a little annoyed because of the interference to their date, as he found himself enjoying having a simple brunch with Jae a little too much, but in seeing how happy and fulfilled Jae is because of the love and support he’s getting from his fans, Brian finds that he actually feels indescribably happy for the older too. And that he doesn’t care that they got interrupted as long as he gets to see Jae’s eyes shine as bright as sunlight again. He almost wants to give Jae’s fans a hug for making the older look so radiant like that.

As Jae expressed his immense gratitude by giving them a hug and taking a picture, Brian gets lost in his own head.

In a span of almost two months, it simply comes down to this for him, that if Jae’s happy then he’s happy.

It’s the first time he’s ever felt this way. Usually, in his past relationships, whenever he went out with his boyfriends, he always hated that he had to share their attention—either a phone, a pretty sight, or even a clothing item at the mall. He was quite a possessive person. So it comes as a shock to him how easily he accepted the fact that when going out on dates like this with Jae, there’s always the possibility of a fan running up to them wishing to have a moment with the famous Hollywood actor.

He realizes that this past month and a half with Jae has already changed a lot of things about him. 

But then he reasons that he can’t exactly compare his past relationships with the one that he has with Jae right now. Because unlike those, this is still just a pretend relationship. Jae is not really in love with him and he’s not really in love with Jae.

_But why do I often feel the need to keep reminding myself about it these days?_

As he volunteers to take the picture for the four of them, Brian finds himself staring at Jae’s face on the screen of the phone. An inexplicable feeling spreads through his chest as he sees that Jae is practically glowing from happiness and appreciation for his fans.

Of course, opposite from him, Jae notices that Brian is actually glowing too and that they’re currently mirroring each other’s expressions.

  
  


***

  
  


“We’re almost there, Jae.”

“Okay, okay. I’m ready.” But contrary to his words, Jae finds it hard to sit still on the backseat of the cab.

Brian reaches a hand out to give the older’s thigh a reassuring squeeze, effectively stopping it from bouncing continuously out of anxiety.

“Don’t worry, you’re gonna be fine.”

“But what if your family doesn’t like me? Or that they’ll find me weird, or that they don’t trust having a celebrity date their son?”

“Jae,” Brian stops him, giving him a meaningful look, “they’ll love you. Trust me.”

Jae takes a deep breath before letting the younger’s words calm him down. He doesn’t really know the reason why, but the past days leading to Brian’s mom’s birthday, he had been feeling a little nervous. It helped though that Brian kept giving him advice and stories about his family so at least Jae feels like he sort of knows them already and that he isn’t essentially going in blindly.

The moment that they reach the front of Brian’s parents’ house, they pretty much have been bombarded with kisses on the cheeks, friendly handshakes, and lots and lots of hugs.

The first couple of hours are a whirlwind of new faces, introductions, and attempts of people trying to get to know more about the famous actor that Jae almost finds it overwhelming. Almost. 

Because even though he hasn’t been left alone to take a breather ever since they got there, he actually enjoys spending time with Brian’s extended family. They’re just so warm and welcoming. 

He _especially_ likes talking to Brian’s mom.

“See, when Younghyun was seven, he buried his whole body under a thick layer of snow with only his head popping out. He almost had hypothermia because of it!”

Jae barks out a loud laughter. They are currently sitting together in the living room—Jae, Brian, Brian’s parents, and a few of their other relatives. Two long couches are facing each other and off to the side is a cozy fireplace. The overall atmosphere of the space gives Jae a sense of a happily lived-in home.

In fact, the entire house gives off a warm, cozy feel.

The exterior is mostly made up of light washed brick and dark grey wall panelings. To contrast that, large windows take up most of the front wall. On the inside, traditional furniture are evenly spaced out all over the open space floor plan. The color scheme is a mix between white and pastel yellow, making everything appear brighter and livelier. The mantle by the fireplace is decorated with tiny pots of succulents and the wall behind it displays many pictures of Younghyun.

On the long couch by the left facing the front door, Jae is seated between Brian and Brian’s mother.

“Why did he do that?” Jae asks Brian’s mom, eyes lit up with mirth.

“He had always wanted to try it after he watched a cartoon character bury his entire body with sand on a beach.” She shares, laughing at the memory.

“And you thought doing that with snow is a good alternative?” Jae turns his head to the other side, cocking a teasing eyebrow at the younger.

“What?” Brian shrugs, holding up his hands in self-defense. “I was seven!”

“Growing up, he’s always been a curious kid. Always trying everything just to satisfy that curiosity, even when it had a possibility of injuring him.” Mr. Kang adds fondly, reaching a hand to pat his son on the shoulder. “Thank god he’s matured now. He had been such a lovable idiot as a kid.”

“Oh come on now, that’s not true.” Jae counters, his voice pretty much dripping with humor. “He’s still a lovable idiot even as an adult.”

“Hey!” Brian puffs his cheeks out in mild protest. 

Jae finds the sight so endearing that he just can’t stop himself at the last second from cupping the younger’s face and giving the tip of his nose a chaste kiss. 

As he pulls away, they meet each other’s gaze, both of them sporting a look of surprise in their eyes.

Heat rushes to Jae’s entire face at how natural and easy it felt to do that. These days, he has observed that it’s getting more and more difficult to keep himself from outwardly showing Brian affection. Especially when it’s just the two of them hanging out, aimlessly teasing each other and sharing a laugh, Jae often wants to either pinch his cheeks, ruffle his hair, or wrap him in his arms.

 _And that freakin’ nose-scrunch!_ Jae groans to himself. _It gets me every damn time._

It’s only so much for one guy to take. Especially when said guy isn’t used to having such confusing emotions before he met Brian.

Maybe it’s because Brian looks intimidating on the outside but oh, so sweet and adorable on the inside. Or how he has quickly worked his way into being one of the most important people in Jae’s life. But either way, the older actor is starting to question the real reason behind these strong urges that he’s been having.

The sudden voice of Brian’s mom breaks them away from their staring contest.

“You two are just so cute together! Aren’t they, honey?” Mrs. Kang coos before sharing an unreadable look with her husband.

“They sure are.” Brian’s father agrees.

Ever the great actor that he is, Jae quickly composes himself by flashing them a charming smile before saying, “That’s all because of me. I carry like 80 percent of the cuteness between us.”

As Brian hears the casual way in which Jae said those words, he feels like a bucket of cold water has been splashed on his face.

 _Oh, right._ He catches himself. _Jae only did that to keep up the pretense of this relationship. Of course that was what that kiss is for! What did you even think it was, you idiot?_

But it isn’t about what he thought it meant, it’s more on what he _hoped_ caused Jae to do it.

Unable to handle hearing more of Jae’s light and easy banter with his mom, Brian abruptly stands up.

“What’s up, babe?”

Brian’s insides flutter at the term of endearment.

He avoids Jae’s searching eyes as he says, “I’m just gonna get a refill of my drink from the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”

In his haste to distance himself from the older, he doesn’t realize that he left his wine glass on the center table. Or that Jae followed his retreating form with a slight concern in his eyes.

Inside the kitchen, Brian scolds himself for a myriad of reasons: putting meaning into Jae’s actions, letting himself forget about their pretend relationship even just for a day, and for enjoying Jae’s simple touches and lingering looks any more than he probably should only to get his hopes up that maybe, _just maybe_ , Jae is starting to see him in a new light too.

Ever since that brunch where Brian had an epiphany—where he realized just how much Jae’s happiness means to him—he’s starting to accept that there’s something more to it than just friendship for him. 

_Pull it together, Brian!_ He groans to himself, bumping his head not so gently on the door of the fridge. _Don’t take advantage of Jae’s actions. You’re being such a cliché by developing feelings for someone you’re in a fake relationship with. You pride yourself for always being a professional and yet here you are, eating your words. This isn’t a movie, it’s real life. You can’t ruin this up by having such feelings! Think of the play, and more importantly, think of what it’ll do to Jae’s career! It will surely crush him and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for doing that..._

So, right then he decides to try to quell his conflicting emotions and just continue on with being the ever-loving boyfriend of the man he wishes is actually his _real_ lover.

  
  


Later that night after dinner, everyone is gathered in the backyard, having more wine and enjoying the cool night air. Some of the guests already left for the day, leaving only Brian’s immediate family and a few of the younger’s closest aunts and uncles.

Over dinner, Jae noticed that the younger kept avoiding him ever since they had that chat with his parents. When he caught the younger’s eyes over the table while eating Mrs. Kang’s unsurprisingly delectable cooking, Jae gestured with his eyes down to his crossed fore and middle finger. A silent question. _Are you okay?_

(Throughout the weeks, they’ve added in a few more hand signals between them mostly out of fun.)

Brian followed the direction of his gaze and the muscles in his shoulders tense up in seeing his hand and the look of worry in the older’s eyes. But after a beat of silence, he gave Jae a quick thumbs up, mouthing “ _Just tired,_ ” to reassure him before pulling his eyes away again.

Out here on the deck, they sit side by side on one of the wooden benches near the garden. After giving himself a pep talk in the kitchen some hours ago, Brian is back to being normal around Jae. Or, as normal as he can be around the guy that he secretly harbors romantic feelings with. He realizes that he’s just being ridiculous for putting a strain on their friendship. And so he pushes through it all to enjoy the night with his friend.

They quietly sit there together, claiming a whole bench to themselves with Jae laying on the length of it and his head resting on top of Brian’s lap. Completely oblivious to the effect he has on the younger.

So, to keep up the pretense on his end, Brian gently runs his fingers through Jae’s hair, brushing away the strands from his forehead and gently massaging his scalp.

Despite his resolve to hide his real emotions, there’s still a small part of him that’s selfish. And that tiny part is what permits him to enjoy being able to touch Jae like this. Fake boyfriend privileges and whatnot. 

There are scattered chatters and laughter around them providing soft background noise as they all enjoy the rest of the evening.

He keeps doing it for a few minutes until he actually sees the older’s eyes drooping. A soft smile unknowingly graces Brian’s lips as he watches Jae struggle to stay awake, his half full glass of white wine forgotten on the ground. Because of the trip they had earlier in the day and watching Jae so closely, Brian feels exhaustion start to claim him too. And just when he’s about to lay his head on the backrest of the bench, one of his uncles suddenly speaks up.

“Hey, wait a second!” He starts with a raised voice, demanding everyone’s attention towards him. “Did I miss it?”

“Miss what?” Brian’s father asks.

“The story of how Jae and Brian met, of course!” At the sound of his name, Jae startles awake and abruptly sits up on the bench. Brian secretly mourns the loss of Jae’s weight on his lap.

As Brian’s uncle’s words get met with understanding looks followed by everyone’s eyes landing on the two dumbfounded actors, their hands subconsciously reach for the other on the empty space between them.

“Oh, uh...” Brian starts, unsure as they’re suddenly put on the spot.

Ironically, their entire team—consisting of Sungjin, Wonpil, Jessica, Jae, and Brian—haven’t fully laid out the details about how they started “dating”. When their backstory got handed to them by that article talking about the scene they did together in acting class, they never got the chance to finalize the specifics about it. Of everything that happened, they failed to come up with a decent story simply because no one asked them for it before this.

Seeing the blank looks on their faces, Brian’s mother tries to intervene. “You two don’t have to tell us if you don’t feel comfortable about it.”

But everyone else is persistent.

“Come on, now. It all came as a surprise to us when the news broke out that you two were dating.” One of Brian’s aunts chimes in. “I mean, sure, our dear Younghyun is a huge Broadway star but hey, now we also have the Jae Park coming to one of our family celebrations? This is all so crazy and mind-blowing! You can understand why we feel a little curious about you two. We’re all family here, there’s no need to be shy.”

Brian scrambles for an excuse right away. “Actually, Aunt Ellie, Jae’s team has this thing about privacy—”

“It’s okay, Bribri.” Jae interrupts him. “I’m sure we can tell them about our story.”

“Right...” Brian responds hesitantly. “Our story that we don’t often get to share with other people. _That_ story.” He’s trying to communicate with his eyes to the older, asking, _where are you going with this?_

In response, Jae sends him a subtle wink before flicking the tip of his nose, sending another one of their signals. _Follow my lead._

Brian studies his face for a second before agreeing. 

“Alright, so,” Jae starts, facing the rest of them. Brian notices that he’s put on a charming façade again, schooling his entire features to that of slight excitement and amusement. “As you all probably read somewhere that Bri and I met through an acting class five years ago, but you see, nothing actually resulted between us then. At least until a couple of years later when I get a call from him, asking me out for dinner. Apparently, our Bribri here couldn’t get my handsome face out of his head the whole time so he flew in all the way from New York to see me. Can you imagine that?”

Brian scoffs lightly at where the story quickly veered off to. Of course, knowing Jae, he’d gladly take every opportunity to playfully hype himself up, and poke a little bit of fun at the younger.

So, he decides to step in.

“Yeah, and so we had dinner but we didn’t get along immediately. Well, for me it wasn’t such a great date. But then a week later, this _handsome guy_ over here,” Brian accentuates in a teasing tone and brings their hands up to his face to give the back of Jae’s hand a soft kiss, “wanted another date. The tables have turned, one night together and Jaehyungie already couldn’t get enough of me. I kept saying no but he remained persistent. He kept sending flowers to my apartment, kept calling and texting me, until I finally took pity on him.”

Jae is amused to say the least. Just like always, they’re competing again by trying to embarrass the other, trying to tell who’s sappier and basically whipped within their made-up story.

He continues before Brian gets the chance to do so. “Anyways, so we casually dated for a few months at first, it’s hard when we’re both traveling so much because of our careers. But then one night when I got home, Brian surprised me with a candlelit dinner. He prepared it all by himself, cooked everything, it was so memorable. And by the end of it, he officially asked me to be his boyfriend. When I said yes, he immediately cri—”

“I said, ‘yay!’” Brian interrupts quickly, “And then that’s it. We’ve been together ever since. The end.”

Everyone looks like they don’t know how to react at first. For one, Brian’s mom seems as if she’s trying very hard not to laugh. 

“Wow, that was...” Brian’s uncle starts, “unexpected but actually kind of cute.”

“Younghyun-ah!” One of his aunts calls him. “A candlelit dinner! You didn’t tell us how much of a romantic you are!”

“Oh, he’s just the most _romantic_ boyfriend ever.” Jae agrees almost automatically. A mischievous smile threatens to appear on his face when he feels Brian’s grip tighten around his fingers. In the end, he concedes, “But that’s actually one of the countless reasons why I love him with all my heart.”

He leans to give the younger a chaste kiss, nothing but a peck to will away the tiny pout on Brian’s lips. 

“Ooh, give us a real kiss!” Brian’s aunt teases as Jae pulls away. But unfortunately, it catches on and so the other adults start chanting, “Kiss, kiss, kiss!”

Jae tries to distract them by saying, “Guys, um, I think it’s getting kinda late—”

Which just prompts them to chant louder. “Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!”

Jae hears Brian whisper to him, “Almost everyone in my family is as stubborn as I am so there’s no point in prolonging the inevitable. Let’s just get this over with.”

With a small nod, Jae heeds his words. Disentangling their fingers so that he can cup Brian’s cheeks with both hands, Jae leans closer to give him another kiss. Only this time, it’s longer.

Brian closes his eyes in anticipation for their lips to touch for the second time that night. He recalls that it’s actually been weeks since the last time they shared a kiss on a date. After everything that happened that night at the bar and when they started sleeping on the same bed, they were more hesitant to share another fake kiss.

As their lips meet this time, Brian finds himself melting almost immediately under Jae’s touch. The kiss is slow, gentle, and indescribably soft that Brian feels the sensation spread all the way to his chest, making his heart pound harder and louder. 

As if having a mind of its own, his hand wraps around Jae’s nape, pulling him even closer. He kisses the older back just as softly, pouring everything that he feels into it before parting his lips and baring himself completely. He shifts his position on the bench, angling his body to face Jae that their thighs deliciously press against each other.

Picking up on the not-so-subtle invitation from the younger, Jae tilts his head sideways to deepen the kiss, sighing blissfully into it. The sound of his heartbeat drowns out whatever noise there is in the background. All of his focus, thoughts, and emotions gravitate towards Brian’s lips. He savors how soft, invigorating, and heavenly they are against his.

Jae almost lets out a moan when he feels Brian’s teeth tugging and biting his lower lip. One of his hands moves to grip the younger’s hair, effectively pulling him closer as if it’s still physically possible. Brian is pretty much sitting on his lap as it is.

“Get a room, you two!” Someone suddenly hollers, startling them apart. Hearts in their throats, they scramble to opposite ends of the bench, panting.

They’re instantly hit with the realization that they just made out while the rest of Brian’s family watched. And yet, they didn’t even notice them for it felt like they were the only two people in the world the whole time.

They can’t seem to meet each other’s eyes again after that. Because both felt something shift considerably and irrevocably between them. They felt that that kiss was different, mind-blowing even. And that it held a deeper meaning. 

As the two actors are busy flashing bashful smiles to the rest of the teasing adults, Brian’s parents share a knowing look with each other before deciding to save them from their misery.

“Now, now, guys.” Mrs. Kang calls the rest of them. “Brian and Jae are probably tired from all that travel and socializing. Why don’t we call it a night so that they could rest?”

The guests slowly disperse to go home after that. As Jae and Brian dutifully greet the last person to head out the front door a few minutes later, the two heave a sigh of relief.

It really has been a tiring day, in more ways than one. They spent hours putting their best foot forward for the guests, all the while their emotions went on a roller coaster ride. It is understandable how exhausted it made them feel.

“So, um,” Jae shyly starts, “shall we?” 

He gestures to the stairs, pertaining to heading back to Brian’s room where they left their bags after the younger gave him a quick house tour earlier in the day.

“Sure.” Brian replies around a big yawn.

And just when they’re about to go up, Brian’s mom stops them. “Jae, honey?”

“Yes, auntie,” Jae responds, looking back, “do you need help with something?”

“Oh, nothing like that, sweetheart.” She waves it off with a light chuckle. “Can I have a word with you for a sec?”

“Of course.”

Jae and Brian share a look first before the older steps closer to the latter’s mother. And as Jae stands before her, waiting and expectant, Mrs. Kang addresses her son, “Go to your room, Younghyun. This doesn’t concern you.”

Brian makes a face at that, knowing full well that it absolutely has everything to do with him. But since he’s always been an obedient son, he turns to make his leave.

Once Jae’s certain Brian is out of earshot, he asks Mrs. Kang, a little concerned, “Is something wrong, auntie?”

By way of answering, Mrs. Kang reaches out to wrap Jae’s hand with both of hers. When he looks up to meet her eyes, Jae feels slightly nervous at the intensity behind them. 

_Oh, Brian has his mother’s eyes._

“Jaehyung, there’s nothing else a mother could ever ask for than to know that her son is happy and well cared for. I just want to say that I’m glad that he has you in his life right now.” Mrs. Kang tells him, the absolute sincerity making her eyes shine.

Jae doesn’t know what to respond to that. He feels elated that Brian’s mom is so accepting and thinks so highly of him. But he also feels guilty for having to lie to her. 

In the short amount of time that he’s spent with her, he already feels a strong emotional attachment to Brian’s parents. They remind him so much of his own back in Korea and of how much he misses physically seeing them.

He struggles to come up with a response but fortunately, she saves him from doing so by continuing, “He may appear strong and intimidating most of the time but he’s always had a fragile heart. He doesn’t always share what’s on his mind but his heart is always in a good place. So, I guess what I’m trying to ask of you is, take good care of Younghyun for me, will you?” She tightens her hold on his hand. “I trust that you’ll never intentionally hurt him. Promise me you’ll continue to make him happy for a really long time.”

“I-I...” Words escape the actor as he buckles under the weight of her gaze, averting his eyes. Gut-wrenching guilt takes up his entire being as he racks his brain for something to say or do. 

_If I don’t say anything and divert the topic, she’ll start suspecting that something’s up._ Jae considers his limited options. _But if I do accept the promise and then she finds out later on that we’ve been lying, it will surely crush her._

As he meets her eyes again, the open expectation in them that matches that of Brian’s easily melts his heart.

Jae hates this. He absolutely hates what he’s about to say so damn much.

“I promise.”

  
  


His heart feels heavy in his chest as he makes his way to Brian’s room—it’s really a guest room with its own balcony because ever since Brian’s Broadway career took off and his father got promoted at work, the younger’s parents had enough money to buy themselves a new house that’s modestly bigger than their previous one.

As he walks deeper into the dimly lit room, with the two bedside lamps bathing the entire space in warm light, Jae turns to the door of the en suite bathroom just in time to see Brian coming out of it.

Words suddenly escape him for the second time in a span of a few minutes. The sight of Brian fresh out of the shower with a few drops of water dripping from his hair create constellations of dark wet spots on his shirt—correction: Jae’s shirt. The one he let Brian wear after he spilled coffee all over the latter many weeks ago. 

The older’s mouth instantly feels dry as he notices how perfectly the thin fabric hugs the younger’s chest and broad shoulders.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

 _Stop staring, Jaehyung! You’re being a pervert!_ He scolds himself.

“I didn’t realize you still have that shirt.” He brings up to divert the topic.

Brian looks confused for a second before he glances down at himself. “Oh, I didn’t even know I brought this shirt. I can give it back right now if you—”

“—no, no, it’s fine! You can keep it.” He tells him with a tightlipped smile. He reasons that he’s just being a nice friend by letting Brian have it. And it’s not at all because he likes to see the younger in his clothes. No, definitely not.

“Oh. Okay.” Brian says before heading to the balcony.

Jae frowns at the curt reply so he follows after the younger. He steps in front of Brian as he asks, “Are you mad at me?”

Brian is taken aback by the question. “Why would I be mad at you?”

And Jae would have easily let it go except that Brian is still avoiding his gaze.

So, he tries again. “Brian, just because you can read me like an open book doesn’t mean that I can’t do it too. You’ve been randomly avoiding me since we got here. And when we kissed earlier, you haven’t met my eyes ever since. What’s wrong, Bri? Did I do something wrong?”

Brian is conflicted. He so badly wants to assure Jae that it’s most definitely not his fault. But then that would mean that he has to tell him the truth. That he was trying to avoid the older whenever he can because he’s afraid that he would be so painfully obvious with his feelings. And that one small slip-up from his part can definitely ruin everything they’ve worked so hard for in this relationship. 

He wants nothing more than to wipe away that frown, the sight of it on Jae’s face so foreign and out of place. To give him a hug just because he can. And to claim those oh, so provocative lips of his once again.

But he keeps all those thoughts to himself like usual. 

_And besides, he doesn’t like me that way. He only sees me as a close friend. I can’t just ruin that._

“Is it because we had to lie to your parents about us?” Jae guesses, pulling him from his thoughts.

Hearing that Jae pretty much unknowingly gave him a way out, Brian easily lies by agreeing. “Yeah, I guess the guilt just got to me. I hate lying to them, especially my mom.” Brian shares.

Which is also a lie because ever since he learned from his mistakes back in college, he tells his mother everything now. But he figures Jae doesn’t have to know that.

“Oh, Bribri,” Jae envelops him in his arms, letting his head rest against the crook of the older’s neck. “I’m sorry you had to go through with this. I can understand what you’re feeling. I mean, they’ve quickly grown on me. In fact, you’re not going to believe how delighted I am to notice that they seem to like me. I promise we’ll do right by them in any way that we can.” 

He then places slow, feather-like kisses on top of the younger’s head, by his temple, on his forehead, and basically anywhere that he could reach on Brian’s face. He’s doing this because he wants to try to ease the younger’s worries. And he’s doing this because he’s trying to replicate the way Brian used to do to him whenever he wakes up from a nightmare. 

And seeing that Brian starts to relax for a bit, one of Jae’s hands runs across Brian’s back to card his fingers through the younger’s hair. The soft and gentle way Jae does these ministrations send shivers down his spine.

Brian shuts his eyes tightly, underneath the hint of alcohol he can clearly smell the familiar scent of the older. He struggles to keep himself in check because of the intimate nature of Jae’s actions and just their overall proximity doing wonders to his body. He tells himself he shouldn’t enjoy this, but he easily finds out how powerless he is against his feelings for the older now that he’s come to admit them. 

_He’s probably just a bit drunk again that’s why he’s acting clingier and more loving than usual. He did drink a lot of wine earlier._ Brian reasons to himself, remembering the first time he experienced drunk Jae. 

(Of course, his mind fails to take into consideration that Jae is perfectly coherent and not showing signs of inebriation at all.)

 _If this is what torture feels like, then I’ll gladly take it if it means that Jae gets to keep touching me like this._

He wraps his arms around Jae’s torso as well, the tips of his fingers coming to grip him on his waist. He permits himself to savor the embrace and the soft kisses the way he wants it to—as if it’s real and not just because Jae felt bad for him. He hopes like crazy that everything Jae is doing to him now is done completely outside the context of their pretend relationship.

“Thank you.” Brian whispers against Jae’s skin. “I’m glad that you’re here with me right now.”

“Me too,” Jae replies before pulling back a little to meet Brian’s eyes. They stay like this for a while.

Until Jae starts again, “Why don’t we head to bed, Bribri? You must be feeling a little tired already.”

Brian wants to protest so that they could stay in this bubble for a little while longer but his mouth betrays him, letting out a yawn. 

The action effectively scrunches the younger’s nose in the most adorable way.

Jae chuckles at that. And because he couldn’t help it, he quickly leans forward to place a kiss on the tip of Brian’s nose. “Let’s get inside. The air is getting chilly and I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Brian wordlessly lets Jae lead him to the bed as they get ready to sleep. The whole thing is so natural and easy between them as they’ve been sleeping in the same bed every night for two weeks now. Self-preservation tells Brian to get the hell out of there. But the moment that Jae wraps his arm around him, pulling him closer so that his back rests against the older’s chest, Brian finds that he’s more than willing to stay in his embrace for as long as Jae will have him.

There isn’t much he can do anyway, as he is completely and hopelessly infatuated with the older. And really, he can’t even remember the last time he ever denied Jae of anything.

  
  


The next day, Jae wakes up to an empty bed.

Rubbing sleep off his eyes, he looks around the room. When he catches no sight of Brian, he gets up to knock on the bathroom door. But then he’s met with silence so he twists the doorknob and finds the room empty too. Next, he makes his way out of the guest room. And just when he’s standing at the top of the staircase, he hears light chatter coming from somewhere downstairs. Smiling to himself, he picks up the faint sound of Brian’s melodic laughter reverberate throughout the house followed by his parents’ voices. 

Jae stops walking and decides to give them some private family time. After all, the house was full of guests yesterday that they probably didn’t find time to properly catch up as they’ll be leaving again in the next few hours. And so, he retreats back to the guest room to do his early morning routine instead.

After exiting the bathroom, Jae goes to check his phone. As he unlocks the device, he starts frowning as he sees multiple texts from Sungjin.

**_Bob the manager:_ **

_That was a close one, I can’t believe you two saw that guy!_

_God, I’m so relieved_

_Good job for always keeping an eye out_

_Answer the phone!!_

_Jaehyung!_

_Fine, just give me a call when you see this_

Jae quickly dials his friend’s number and he picks up on the second ring.

“Finally!” Sungjin beats him to it as a greeting.

“What were you talking about? What did Brian and I do?”

“Oh, you haven’t seen it yet?”

Jae sighs in mild frustration. “Seen what, Sungjin?”

“I could’ve sworn I sent it to you... hold on,” Jae hears a few keyboard clicks in the background before Sungjin continues, “what’s it doing in my drafts? Well, anyway, I sent it to you again. Check your email then call me back.”

And just like that, he hangs up.

Jae is still as confused as ever.

 _Sungjin and his weird antics, I swear to god..._ He sighs to himself before doing as he’s told.

And right there at the top of his inbox is a forwarded email from Sungjin’s work account with the subject: **Jaebri’s romantic weekend getaway in Toronto!**

Immediately, he clicks to expand the message.

He skims through the body first, seeing that there are images attached to the email. And his eyes widen almost comically when he discovers what or who the pictures are about.

The objects of the picture are none other than him and Brian hugging out on the balcony just last night. The shots are a little grainy, indicative of them being taken from some distance away from the house. But that doesn’t matter much because their faces are still more than unmistakable in these pictures.

Scrolling back up to the rest of the email, he begins to read the entire article.

_Our favorite couple were spotted enjoying a lovely evening back at the Broadway star’s family home in Toronto. And they’re as besotted with each other as ever. In the first picture, the Hollywood actor was seen giving his boyfriend a hug and a sweet kiss on the forehead. And in the next shot, we have Brian burying his face on Jae’s neck as he holds his boyfriend by the waist._

_Gosh, when will they stop being so adorable, right guys? They make us all believe that love exists! At this point, we only have one thing to say to them: when are we gonna get to hear wedding bells, Jaebri?!_

Jae skips the last few paragraphs of the article to read Sungjin’s message below it.

“We didn’t anticipate that a paparazzi would even dare follow you two all the way to Brian’s parents’ house, much less know about the address. But thank god, you two were able to spot him and kept up the acting. It would have been a PR nightmare if he caught you two, I don’t know, sleeping on different beds or just doing very un-boyfriendly things together.

Anyways, disaster averted! I just wanted to say you two did a good job. It must’ve been annoying having to pretend when you expected the weekend to be work-free. But hey, guess what? I heard back from Cynthia again and apparently, after she read the articles, she was impressed with the huge progress you’ve made with your public image! She said that while she’s still keeping her options open in choosing who gets the lead role, you have easily risen to the very top of her list. She said she’ll call me again by the end of next month to share her decision. This is great news, right? Tell you what, when you get back here in New York, let me treat you and Brian to dinner! I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Jae doesn’t know how long he’s been staring at his phone after reading. For one thing, he didn’t expect at all that someone was watching them last night. While that is a whole other terrifying thing to worry about, he obsesses over the fact that Sungjin thought they were still acting. And for another, he knows for a fact that they haven’t been acting at all last night. At least, _he_ wasn’t.

And just like that, Jae is hit with a sudden realization. That even though there were no longer cameras and other people around, him and Brian still treated each other the way only real couples do. He’s so preoccupied with this thought that the good news about the screenwriter pales in comparison.

Right now, all that matters to him is Brian.

Always Brian.

The satisfaction that he feels upon this discovery is enough of a sign for him to face the music and admit that this is no longer just a fake relationship to him. And that it hasn’t been for weeks now.

Completely admitting it to himself feels somewhat freeing. Now he knows why he’s been having confusing emotions lately.

He doesn’t even let himself overthink things because it’s all so simple to him now: he has developed feelings for his friend. That’s it. After two months of having Brian by his side and depending on him to help him get through the hardest nights, it all just clicked. The nicknames (Bribri and Jaehyungie), their movie marathons, always being there when he wakes up from a nightmare, and freaking cuddling while sleeping on the same bed? Everything felt so natural for them that Jae didn’t even realize what was happening until it hit him like a ton of bricks.

It doesn’t matter that he promised himself years ago to avoid relationships while he’s still in the spotlight. For he knows that he can trust Brian and that his heart is more than safe and protected in the younger’s hands. He also doesn’t care whether or not Brian likes him back. 

_Having you by my side is more than enough for me, Bri._

Well, okay, he would also be the happiest person on Earth if the younger likes him back. But even if Brian doesn’t, it’s fine with him because he’ll still have Brian in any way the younger lets Jae have him. Be it as his best friend, colleague, or even his rival. Jae will gladly accept any of it.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

Jae had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn’t notice Brian entered the room.

Facing Brian’s amused face, Jae’s immediate response would have been to divert the attention away from him. 

But not this time. Not when he’s been actively trying not to retreat into himself most of the time. After all, that’s what Brian taught him that night at the bar.

“Brian,” Jae starts, presenting his phone to the younger, “have you seen this?”

He watches Brian’s features as he reads the content of the email. The surprised lift of his eyebrows tells Jae that this is the first time he’s seeing this.

After Brian reads, Jae waits patiently for him to say something. And when he does, it isn’t at all what Jae is expecting.

“Good thing we were pretending the whole time, huh?”

Fortunately, Jae isn’t easily deterred. His sudden bravery comes from the exhilaration that he feels after fully accepting the nature of his feelings for the younger.

Taking a step closer, Jae says, “See, Bri, that’s the thing. Everything I did and said to you last night? That was all me. This here right now?” He gestures to his tall frame. “ _This_ is all me. Every bit of this is real.” 

Brian is giving him a pained look but he forces himself to meet Jae’s eyes all the same. 

And the tiny glint of hope that Jae finds in them is enough to spur him to continue. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve been actively pretending with you for the last few weeks now. That’s how I am, Bri. I may not always tell people how I feel, but I make up for it through my actions. And since you’ve taught me that it’s better to talk than to keep your problems to yourself, here I am, telling you how much I like you.”

Brian doesn’t believe what he’s hearing right away. This gorgeous man before him, the one he just told himself he wouldn’t pursue to avoid ruining their friendship, is suddenly stealing every word that Brian has been wanting to tell him?

“Please take it back, Jae,” Brian whispers, his entire body itching to close that small distance between them, “because I’m starting to believe it.”

Jae shrugs. “I can’t.” A smile rises to the surface as he daringly takes another step closer. If he leans forward just a tad bit more, their foreheads are almost touching. “Because it’s true. I like you, Brian.”

Brian just continues to stare at him, not believing his luck, until Jae starts to feel anxious by his silence.

“Bri, please say something.” His eyes flit down to his feet as heat rises to his cheeks. Nervousness takes over him as words start spilling almost uncontrollably from his lips. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t thinking straight, maybe I should’ve waited until we’re back home in our apartment and— ah, I mean, _my_ apartment, to tell you all of this. I’m sorry if I ruined auntie’s birthday weekend for you—”

His ranting gets effectively interrupted with Brian’s hands cupping his cheeks followed by lips connecting with his. He takes a second to realize what is happening before he relaxes under Brian’s touch. One of his hands snake down to Jae’s torso, gripping him by the waist.

Jae has half a mind to notice it. _You really have a thing for my waist, huh._

The kiss is soft, tender, and oh, so gentle as if it’s the first time. Except it isn’t, not by a long shot. However, just like last night, this kiss meant _something_.

All too soon, Brian pulls away. He doesn’t let go of Jae’s face as he gazes at his eyes.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” Jae whispers as a bright smile slowly graces his lips before nudging his nose against the younger’s.

Brian lets out a delighted giggle, nodding.

_Adorable!_

Jae dives in for another kiss before he says, “Can I hear you say it, Bri? Just once, I kinda need to hear it.”

“Such a baby.” Brian mutters, fond but teasing. “I like you, too, Park Jaehyung.” He kisses one of Jae’s cheeks as he continues “So,” he kisses the other side, “damn,” and finishes with a peck on his forehead, “much.”

Jae’s heart is pretty much beating erratically at this point. But he has a feeling that Brian’s isn’t far behind as they both can’t seem to stop smiling.

“God, we’re such saps.” Jae jokes, giggling at themselves and just the overall jubilance of the situation.

“More me than you.” Brian counters a little proudly. “ _I_ liked you first. I’ve known for weeks, I basically have you beat.”

Yes, even in confessing, they’re still as competitive as ever.

“Excuse me?” The older feigns looking affronted. “Between us, who was the one that had the guts to actually confess and—”

Brian shuts him up once more with another mind-blowing kiss.

Jae finds that he doesn’t mind being cut off at all if it means that he gets to taste Brian’s lips every single time.

They would have gladly stayed all day inside that guest room, tasting more of each other’s mouths in bed, had it not been for Mrs. Kang calling them to eat breakfast.

“Safe travels, okay?”

“Yes, mom.” Brian assures his mother before giving her another hug.

All four of them—Jae, Brian, and Mr. and Mrs. Kang—are currently standing in the foyer, saying their last goodbyes before the couple leaves to go back to New York.

“Call when you get there.” Mr. Kang instructs, wrapping a comforting arm on his wife’s shoulder. “And don’t be a stranger now, Jae. We want to get to know you more.”

“We’ll call often, I promise.” Jae replies with a laugh before giving them both a hug as well.

And as he’s about to pull away from Mrs. Kang, she whispers to him, “Remember what we talked about, honey.”

Instead of feeling guilty just like he did last night, resolve and determination not to break her trust flooded Jae’s chest. “I will, I promise. And happy birthday again, auntie.”

When they finally pull away, Jae sees Brian’s eyebrow cocked at him in question.

He mouths, “ _Tell you later,_ ” before grabbing the younger’s hand.

 _Oh, shit. I can do things like this whenever I want now._ Jae tightens his hold on the younger as butterflies started fluttering in his stomach at the sudden reminder of the development in their relationship.

Walking down the driveway and into the waiting cab, they wave their final goodbyes before getting in.

“So,” Brian starts, “what did my mom tell you?”

“Oh, that.” Jae scratches the back of his head as he averts his eyes to look out the window. “She made me promise to always stay by your side for a long time. I couldn’t meet her eyes for a while after that. I felt so guilty when I lied to her about us.”

“Actually,” Brian’s amused tone makes Jae turn his head back to look at him. “I told her the truth about us two months ago.”

“What?” Jae is confused. “So then why did she ask that of me?”

Brian shrugs. “She probably saw right through you all along. Knew about your feelings right before you did.”

Jae playfully bumps his shoulder with the younger’s. “Or, she probably just saw the way I looked at you whenever you weren’t looking.”

As a response, Brian leans in to give him a peck.

“Hey, Bri.” Jae calls sweetly after he pulls away.

“What?”

“I like you, babe.” Jae repeats, a bright smile rising to the surface.

Heat rises to Brian’s cheeks.

_I’ll never get used to hearing you call me that, Jae. Please never stop._

“I like you, too.” He rests his head against Jae’s shoulder. “So much.”


	7. i’m sick of all the insincere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> act four: the antagonist's downfall

“So, how do you plan to go about this?” Brian asks from the passenger seat of their rental car. It’s a fancy sleek black sedan with all the windows tinted heavily for privacy.

They’re currently parked in the lot of an old-style French restaurant a full two weeks after getting back from Toronto. The couple took up Sungjin’s offer to treat them to a nice dinner so they’re about to meet him, his husband, and Brian’s manager any minute now. 

Oh, and they also invited Dowoon along. 

After exchanging numbers from that night at the bar, they have all been texting and basically cultivating the bond that they have created.

“For this dinner?” Jae guesses, shrugging as he checks his reflection on the rearview mirror. His face adopts a playful smile and continues, “Same thing as we always do on fake dates: act like the world’s sweetest couple while trying to hide how much we wish everything was real and that we’re already so whipped for the other without them knowing.”

Brian lets out a light chuckle at the reminder of how ridiculous they were pining after each other like that, both thinking that their feelings were one-sided.

“I meant telling them about us.” He clarifies, feeling warmth spread across his chest as he remembers that they are, in fact, a real couple now.

“Actually,” Jae starts, resting his head against the headrest and turning sideways to give Brian an excited look, “why don’t we have a bit of fun with it first. Sure, we’ll tell them at the end of the night but let’s see how long we can go until they start to notice that something’s different about us.”

“Oh, I like that idea.” Brian agrees, twisting in his seat to face his boyfriend. “How about we also turn it into a thing wherein we compete which of us can keep from giving away our relationship?” 

The corners of Jae’s eyes crinkle as he lets out a delighted laugh. “You and your competitive ass, I swear...” he ruffles the top of Brian’s head, ever so fond and adored. 

But of course, since they both actually enjoy competing against each other so much that it has basically become _their thing_ , Jae easily accepts the challenge.

  
  


As the receptionist leads the two to the table that Sungjin has reserved, they see that, apart from Jessica, they’re the last ones to arrive. And when they’re about a few spaces away from the table, as the receptionist leaves to go back to his post at the door, Jae feels Brian’s hand on his back suddenly move dangerously lower until he slots the tips of his fingers into the back pocket of Jae’s slacks. Boldly, Brian pinches him on the butt cheek.

He stiffens on the spot, throwing Brian a sideways glance. 

_You move fast, babe._ He tries to convey through his eyes.

Except that Brian is actively avoiding his gaze. The corners of his lips are upturned the slightest bit, the only thing that lets Jae know how satisfied he is with himself.

“Oh, there you are!” Wonpil excitedly calls after he catches sight of them, causing Brian to immediately retreat his hand before moving closer to the table-for-six with a slightly flustered Jae following after him.

“Hey guys,” Brian greets, “sorry we’re late.”

Him and Jae take the available seats, sitting beside each other. Opposite them are Sungjin and Wonpil and on one end sits Dowoon.

“What’s wrong with your face? You look a little red. Are you coming down with a fever?” Sungjin asks Jae with a frown, concerned.

Brian answers for his boyfriend saying, “Oh, no, that’s just his allergies acting up. Right, Jae?”

As a response, the older actor subtly narrows his eyes at Brian before assuring his manager, “Yup. Pollen allergies. Probably smelled something _sickeningly_ sweet, don’t mind me.”

Beside him, Brian snorts out a slight chuckle, unable to keep his amusement to himself.

In retaliation, Jae places a hand on Brian’s knee and slowly runs it up the theater actor’s thigh under the table. 

He faintly hears his boyfriend suck in a breath but he keeps at it, the pace so tantalizingly slow yet the pressure remains light and teasing. His hand’s ascent only stops when the tips of his fingers are merely inches from where Brian wants him the most before retreating.

The theater actor almost whines out loud at the loss of contact.

 _That’s what I thought_ , Jae feels immense pleasure spread through him at his boyfriend’s reaction.

The playful smirk easily gets wiped off Brian’s face as he glances down to hide the blush on his cheeks. Now _he_ is the one who’s flustered, though mildly impressed by how daring Jae’s move was at making his insides ignite from just a simple touch.

They miss the curious look the other three are throwing at them as Jae revels in the subtle rise that his suggestive advance has caused in Brian. 

Dowoon in particular notes the constrained look on the theater actor’s face and Jae’s poor attempt at holding in a satisfied smile.

Fortunately, Brian notices how quiet their table has gotten so he cleans his throat to try to clear the looks of confusion on Sungjin and Wonpil’s faces and the mild teasing but suspicious look on Dowoon’s.

“So, should we order?” Brian starts, rubbing a hand on his tummy. “I’m kind of hungry.” 

At least he’s not lying.

After they flag down a waiter to give their orders—steak for all five of them but with different preferences on the side dishes and a whole bottle of champagne for the table (Sungjin pulls out all the stops when treating people important to him)—Brian realizes the empty seat opposite Dowoon just as the server leaves a little too late.

“Does anyone know where Jessica is? She hasn’t been answering my calls.”

Wonpil answers him, “She informed me earlier that she won’t be able to make it because her sitter cancelled on her last minute.”

Brian nods in understanding. And before he starts to ask how they’ve all been, Dowoon beats him to it.

“I still kinda don’t know why you guys invited me.” Dowoon shares, self-consciously rubbing the back of his head. “I mean, it’s looking to me that this is exclusively a team dinner between you guys.”

“Non-sense,” Sungjin waves off his worries, “since last month at the bar, you’ve already become part of the team.”

“Besides,” Wonpil adds before leaning forward to whisper in a low voice, “you know about their pretend relationship. I don’t think you could be much more included than that.”

“Well, I’m honored.” Dowoon replies, patting Wonpil on the shoulder. “I would never imagine I’d be having dinner with my favorite actor.”

“Are we still on that?” Jae teases as he flashes Dowoon a smile. “Dude, we’ve practically been texting in the group chat for weeks! If anything, I thought you would have been repulsed by my sense of humor already.”

“Or the lack thereof.” Brian snorts softly.

“Um, excuse me?” Jae feigns being offended. “Who made your mom laugh constantly for an entire weekend with their jokes and overall pleasing personality?” He doesn’t wait for Brian to concede (or more likely, disprove his words). “It’s this guy right here.”

“Oh, hey.” Sungjin interrupts whatever retort Brian has locked, loaded and ready to fire from his lips. “That reminds me. How was the weekend in Toronto? Other than, you know, the paparazzi spying when you were out on the balcony.”

The two actors try their best to make their faces appear casual, trying to pretend that they’re not-at-all recalling a different memory from that balcony and Jae’s bold confession that happened the morning after it.

Jae smiles, charming and easy, as he proudly states, “Brian’s parents love me now. I’m basically their second son, no biggie.”

To add to his words, he throws an arm around Brian’s shoulders as he leans in to place a kiss on the latter’s temple.

The other three look surprised by the sudden gesture at first but they figure that Jae only did it to keep up the act. After all, they’re still out in public right now.

However, when Brian reacts by pulling on Jae’s hand, lacing their fingers together, and bringing the inside of his boyfriend’s wrist to his lips to place a soft kiss, Dowoon’s suspicions intensify by a tenfold.

He knows that his friend has never been this openly sweet to any of his past lovers and never the one to instigate such romantic gestures especially when there are other people around. Sure, he knows that Brian loves to be showered with attention but he’s usually too proud to admit it and so he would never do anything to demand for it. Selfish idiot always wanted his exes to have the initiative. Do without having to be asked.

And yet, here he is, blatantly kissing the tips of Jae’s fingers. 

Granted, Dowoon also thinks that they’re most probably just acting right now. But the nagging voice in his head doesn’t want to let the matter go so easily.

 _And, do my eyes deceive me or did Brian just try to suggestively wrap his lips around Jae’s middle finger?!_ Dowoon is rightfully shocked and mildly scandalized at having to witness it firsthand.

He wants to say something but he quickly decides against it because this is what couples do, right? Albeit it’s the kind of PDA that one often sees inappropriate and vaguely voyeuristic couples do. The youngest merely eyes them with a hint of reckoning.

On the other hand, poor oblivious Sungjin just gives the two actors a commending look for keeping up pretense. 

At least Wonpil now adopts a thoughtful look at the sight of them.

“I’m sorry you had to lie to them too, Brian.” Wonpil whispers, throwing the theater actor a sympathizing look.

Under the table, Brian feels Jae’s leg becoming flush with his in silent warning for the way he wouldn’t let Jae’s hand go. He tries to ignore it but when Jae starts to throw a leg over his and slots it into the space between his thighs, he has no choice but to let Jae have his win. For now. 

Clearing his throat to hopefully keep his voice steady, he assures the agent, “No worries, Pil-ie. I’m sure they’ll understand in the future.”

Even though Brian already let go of Jae’s hand on his shoulder, the older actor just lets his leg stay where it is. The delicious weight of it on Brian’s upper thigh is sending tingles up his spine. 

Warmth creeps up his neck and entire face as he subtly tries to pry Jae’s leg away from his lap. Except, when his hands come in contact with it, he can feel the muscles tensing underneath the fabric of his jeans as Jae just presses down against him even more.

All of this provocative teasing and flirting happen right under Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon’s noses. But you can’t blame them for being oblivious. 

When looking at the two actors from above the tabletop, nothing seems even remotely amiss as they try incredibly hard to appear indifferent while they continue on in conversing. 

Well, more so Jae than Brian. 

The theater actor is having a hard time willing away the growing tension in his lower regions. He tries to adjust his sitting position in an attempt at moving Jae’s leg a little away from his crotch.

Sensing this, Jae decides to have mercy on him so he slowly retracts the offending limb away from between Brian’s thighs.

The theater actor all but visibly sighs in relief. Any second longer and he would have thrown caution to the wind and devoured Jae’s face right then and there, ultimately making himself the loser in their competition. 

And he can’t let that happen so easily.

As he’s busy trying to come up with stronger, more arousing actions, Jae continues the conversation with the other three, almost unbelievably light and smooth, as if he hadn’t just given Brian an upgraded version of the footsies a minute ago.

 _I really need to up my game._ Brian tries to hype himself and to calm his racing heart.

Fortunately, the universe must have heard his pleas because the waiter arrives right then with their food, giving Brian enough time to cool down and plot without much interference from a certain surprisingly-affectionate and equally daring actor.

And throughout dinner, they kept at it with their quest to find out how far they can go in provoking each other without letting Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon find out.

At one point, when Jae excused himself to go to the comfort room. He went to stand up but not before pinching the side of Brian’s ass. Brian flinches so suddenly that the movement scares the hell out of Dowoon and almost makes him choke to death (“Jae accidentally stepped on my toe”, he explained by lying through his teeth). Jae had the decency to flash his boyfriend a sheepish look before walking away.

As the night stretches, their dinner coming to an end with eating and finishing dessert, Jae and Brian actually thought that they just might get away with it. 

Except that one small, unceremoniously mundane thing happens that puts a stop to all of their flirty teasing.

Wonpil’s cloth napkin falls from his lap and on to the dark wood floor. As he bends down to pick it up, he sees something underneath the table that he suspects is most definitely not meant for him to see.

Brian digs his nails teasingly against the length of Jae’s clothed inner thigh, slowly and tantalizingly inching upwards until Jae’s hand stills his motions. Instead, the older intertwines their fingers on his lap. The agent sucks in a quiet gasp as he notices Jae’s thumb begin to caress Brian’s palm. 

Surprised by the familiar and intimate nature of the gesture, Wonpil bangs his head on the table before righting himself back to his seating position.

Four pairs of startled eyes meet him. 

“Are you okay, honey?” His husband asks him, gently massaging the back of his head.

Wonpil chooses to ignore the pain as he faces the two actors with almost comically wide eyes. “Are you two _together_ now?” 

It’s a miracle that he still managed to keep his voice low despite the clear shock evident on his face.

Hearing this, Dowoon’s eyes pan from where Wonpil bent his head down, to Jae and Brian’s hands hidden from view underneath the table, and to the creeping shade of rose on both their faces. Understanding floods his features as he quickly puts two-and-two together.

“I knew it…” Dowoon muses, a satisfied smirk slowly stretching across his lips.

Sungjin, however, is still as clueless as ever. “Well, yeah.” He frowns, uncertain. “They’ve been ‘dating’ for two months now, Pil-ie.”

Wonpil and Dowoon just stare at him in disbelief.

It’s Jae who chooses to save him from his confusion. “He meant for real, Sungjin.” He brings their interlaced hands from his lap and presents it to the table before placing a kiss on the back of Brian’s hand.

His manager looks dumbfounded for a second.

“I knew it!” Dowoon repeats, excited as he eats a huge spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream. His voice sounds muffled as he shares, “After Brian kept sending me incoherent but overly loud screaming all-caps messages during their flight back from Toronto, I knew something happened.”

“Why didn’t you tell us? I thought we’re well past keeping secrets from each other.” Wonpil pouts, leaning back on the chair in a not so gentle manner.

“To be fair, we planned to tell you three at the end of the night.” Brian placates him. “We just wanted to have a little fun during dinner first.”

“Brian started it. Blame him.” _Real mature, Jae._

“You had no problem going along with it either.”

“Because you would call me a wimp if I didn’t.”

“No, I wouldn’t!”

“Yes, you would!”

In the end, as the other three continue to watch the couple playfully bicker, they feel that they can’t hold it against them for not telling him right away. 

Armed with this new information, they easily start to notice the subtle changes in the way the two actors interact.

Brian attentively listens whenever Jae speaks as if he’s hanging on to every word, fascinated. His entire body gravitates toward the older actor.

And Jae? He’s no better. He pretty much doesn’t lose the bright glint in his eyes everytime he looks at Brian. And he’s almost always looking at Brian.

After they all part ways later that night, with Wonpil and Dowoon constantly teasing the couple about how cliché they are, Jae and Brian return to their apartment with flushed faces and unwavering smiles. 

Exhausted from a night of petty competitiveness and holding back from throwing themselves at each other, they decide to retire to bed early. And as he finishes changing into pyjamas, Brian’s heart flutters at the way Jae wordlessly pulls him by the hand towards the bed.

He should have been used to it by now. After all, they’ve been sleeping together almost a month now that they decided to switch the twin bed with a queen one that they bought from Ikea to accommodate Jae’s frame. And yet, he still finds himself proud and elated that Jae is the one who initiates going to sleep these days.

He knows that there are still nights when Jae would lay wide awake beside him, but at least he hasn’t had horrible nightmares recently. The last one from about three weeks ago was when he rushed to Jae’s room and he stayed with the older in bed, hugging and consoling him well into the morning. 

Brian wishes that they can continue their streak for a long time in the future.

As he wraps his arm around his boyfriend’s slim waist underneath the shirt, he feels Jae placing a delicate kiss on his forehead, whispering to him softly, “Good night, babe.”

  
  
  


A few mornings later after their dinner with Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon, the soft beeping of the alarm wakes Brian up from slumber. Groaning, he blindly reaches a hand out to the bedside table to turn it off before it manages to wake Jae. He doesn’t normally get up at 7:30 in the morning but today is different. 

Today is when he’s supposed to perform and try to perfect his big number during rehearsals. According to their time frame, the main agenda for the day is Christian’s solo along with a few important scenes with Satine. 

To say that Brian is riddled with nervous anxiety is putting it mildly.

He tries to prolong this moment of peace in bed. And he almost succeeds in sneaking in a few more minutes of sleep when he feels the sleeve of his shirt—another one from Jae’s closet—being pulled to reveal the line of his left shoulder. 

Not a beat later, the bed dips as Jae leans over him, running the tip of his nose on his skin and slowly leaving a hot trail of kisses in his path—Brian’s shoulder blade, his neck, and all the way to his jaw. Where he stays for a while, softly nipping and sucking at the skin but ever so careful not to leave a mark.

Brian sighs blissfully before turning to his back so that he’s now looking up at Jae, beaming.

“Good morning.” Jae lazily greets him before dipping down to nudge their noses together.

As he pulls away, Brian chases after him to capture those inviting lips in a kiss.

Jae lets him have his way as he tilts his head to deepen it, morning breath and all. His upper half is pretty much laying on top of Brian but the theater actor finds that he doesn’t mind the weight, even craving more of it.

Jae moves away from his lips when the need to breathe becomes unbearable and instead, he mouths his way back to Brian’s throat. His kisses are soft enough to leave his boyfriend wanting more and still so unimaginably invigorating that Brian feels heat start to spread all over his body at record speed.

Under the sheets, Jae’s hands start their exploration of Brian’s body.

“If-if this is your way of, _oh god_ , of waking me up to get ready for rehearsal,” Brian manages to say in between sharp intakes of breath, “then you’re doing a poor job of it.”

Jae lifts his face back up to give Brian a questioning look, head tilted to the side in the most adorable way.

Brian continues, “Right now, I want nothing more than to stay in bed with you. So stop abusing my neck or else I really won’t leave your side.”

Jae releases a bark of laughter, resting his head against Brian’s chest before laying back beside him. They take deep breaths to calm their raging hearts.

Underneath the covers, the theater actor searches for Jae’s hand to hold in silent thanks.

The older’s ministrations did wonders to quiet his unrelenting thoughts.

“Jae,” he starts, staring at the ceiling and feeling Jae’s fingers tighten against his to let him know that he’s listening, “I’m nervous for today.”

Beside him, Jae props an elbow on the bed to give him a reassuring look. “It’s okay to feel that way, Brian. This role is important to you. But I have no doubt that you’ll be able to pull yourself through like you always do. You can do this, babe. I have faith in you.”

He lets the words wash over him. And almost immediately, he starts to feel confident in his acting abilities again.

 _I’ve been practicing for weeks, I’m not coming unprepared. I can do this. I’ve been doing this for seven years._ He reminds himself.

“Do you want me to drive you there?” Jae helpfully offers, already knowing the answer.

“Please?” Brian responds, gazing at him through his lashes. 

Jae dives in for one last kiss before they finally get out of bed.

  
  
  


“So, this is how I want the song number to go.” The world-renowned musical director, Marianne Bennett, announces from where she and Adrienne are seated on the front row. Her voice holds so much authority and confidence in her ideas that the entire theater turns quiet to let her speak. “A few of the fans along with Clarisse”—the name of the lead actress playing Satine—“will have muted conversations as Brian moves around them, completely ignored and pretty much invisible. Everyone on stage during the scene will keep on acting, looking happy and excited for the recent success in Satine’s career while Christian sings his heart out in the middle of it all.”

Adrienne adds, “Remember people that we’re already at the point in the story where it’s getting harder and harder for Christian to spend time with the love of his life. She has started getting recognition from the public as a brilliant singer but instead of struggling to keep up with her, Christian is beyond grateful and proud. He knows that Satine’s dream is getting fulfilled. The point of the song is to show the audience that even though he feels isolated in Satine’s new world, he’s happy as long as she is.”

The rest of the actors nod in understanding as they start to disperse to different parts of the stage, internalizing the scene and getting into position.

Brian’s palms start to sweat as he reads through his stage directions again. 

He’s supposed to enter stage left and walk through the different subscenes happening on stage—Satine talking and laughing with her fans by stage right and her team busy answering calls and booking guest appearances upstage left. He will slowly reflect Satine’s happy expressions before facing the audience midsong by downstage center a couple of meters away from the pit orchestra.

His heartbeat picks up as the musical director prepares to call for action. Squaring his shoulders, Brian recalls from many weeks ago the advice that was given to him by the playwright: pull from experience and channel inspiration from all of his past relationships. 

So that’s what Brian plans to do for this scene.

He thinks back to one of his exes, settling on the guy he dated for a few months fresh out of college. The theater actor was starting to get casted on bigger roles then so he was busier than ever. But the guy was more than understanding.

Brian tries to stand in his shoes, see if it fits, as he enters the stage when the song starts playing. He begins to sing, his voice expertly strong and melodic while he walks closer to observe Satine’s team.

And just when he thinks that the scene might actually work, the music immediately stops.

“Again,” the musical director cuts him off, “your actions are too stiff.”

Heat rises to his cheeks as they start over.

This time, he recalls the passionate high school teacher that he once dated. Brian hated that work seemed more important to the guy than their relationship but he tried to stay with him because the guy valued his students a lot. He’s hoping he’ll find inspiration there. 

But not too long into the scene, he gets interrupted once more.

“Again. I’m not feeling it in your eyes.”

Ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach, he takes his place for the third time. 

There’s the guy who stayed with him for almost six months even when he’s starring in a big play. He was even very supportive of Brian. The circumstances are almost similar, right?

And they did say the third time’s the charm. 

For most people. 

But unfortunately not for Brian.

“Again. Give me something more heartfelt. Make me believe you, Brian.”

After two more failed scenes, the musical director calls for a fifteen minute break, hoping it’s enough time to regroup and for Brian to properly internalize his role. Head lowered in shame, Brian apologizes to the entire cast before promising to do it right next time.

Fortunately, the theater actor is left alone in the dressing room as mostly everyone gathered in the break room. 

Sinking down to one of the chairs in front of a well-lit mirror, he feels his morale and self-trust plummet to the ground because he couldn’t nail the scene perfectly. His frazzled reflection stares back at him as he admits that his ambitious and go-getter self is clearly not having a good time right now. He can’t even remember the last time he struggled this hard on a role.

Sighing heavily, he goes back to overanalyzing the script. And when that doesn’t provide him with any new insight after a couple of minutes, he also brings out his phone from his bag sitting on the corner to review the characterization notes that he wrote.

However, when the screen lights up, he sees that he has several texts from Jae. 

**_jae baby:_ **

_Just wanted to wish you good luck for today._

_Love you, babe!_

Brian sucks in a breath after reading those two short words. Heart pounding loudly in his chest, he continues to read the rest of the messages.

_Oh shit_

_fcukfuckfkuc_

_Please ignore that, bri_

_Oh god this is so embarrassing_

_Anyway, um… yeah._

_You can do this, babe. I believe in you._

_Also, please pretend this never happened_

_I’m gonna shut up now_

_okay_

_bye_

Within seconds, Brian ends up laughing. 

Absolute joy and affection bubble up in his chest and spill out from his lips, easily replacing his earlier agitation and worries. Jae really has a way with making him feel better whether he knows he’s doing it or not.

He stares at the words for a long time, hoping it stays permanently in his head. Then he remembers that he has his phone for that so he captures the screen display to save it for later and to commemorate this dumb but endearingly lovable slip-up from his boyfriend.

Although, he’s a little bummed about the whole thing. He was planning on being the first one to say the words. Ever since he saw how Jae interacted with his parents and the easy way in which he made them laugh, Brian has been a goner. And they weren’t even a couple back then.

Now, he was just waiting for the right time to say it because he didn’t want Jae to feel pressured about having to say it back. 

And yet, here he is again, taking Brian by surprise and beating him to it.

Just like how he beat Brian in confessing.

He marvels at how Jae has come a long way from who he was more than two months ago—reserved, closed-off, and mostly keeps to himself. Now it’s as if he no longer hesitates in telling Brian anything.

He’s about to reply to his boyfriend when someone calls his attention from the door.

“Brian,” it’s one of the cast members, the one who plays Satine’s manager, “break’s over.”

He goes to return his phone, making a mental note to respond right after rehearsals are over, before he follows after the other actor back to the stage.

Strangely, as he’s stood once again under the calculating eyes of the musical director and the playwright, Brian feels somewhat calmer. He’s no longer scrambling his brain to remember his past relationships as he realizes his mistake. 

Why not pull experience from reality instead? 

Enough about remembering the past, he needs to leave it where it is and focus on the now. Those relationships of his failed for certain reasons. Of course he won’t be able to grab inspiration from them.

This relationship with Jae? _This_ is the one that he needs. 

“Brian, are you ready to try again?” Marianne asks with a firm but gentle nod, breaking him from his reverie.

“Yes, I am.” 

This time, he means it.

And when he lets all of his emotions for his boyfriend completely wash over him, let it take over his actions, he basically transforms on stage.

As he starts singing, he pictures Jae’s bright smile in his head. He focuses on the crinkle in his eyes, his bright bursts of giggles, and the smooth length of his neck when his head is thrown back from laughing freely.

The musical director witnesses Brian’s features lighten as he moves gently toward the actors playing as Satine’s team. She gives a tiny nod of approval at the obvious improvement.

The song picks up when Brian is observing Satine interacting with her fans while they completely ignore his character’s existence. 

The scene in front of him is all too familiar.

He pictures Jae realizing how much he meant to his fans. He will never forget how he looked that day, it was as if he rediscovered his purpose. It’s like a heavy weight has been lifted off his chest so that he can breathe better, or that the fog has cleared from his eyes and now he can see things more clearly. 

He knows how much Jae needed to hear those words.

He never really shared to the younger how he felt back then but he didn’t need to. Brian knows how personal it is for Jae. He’s more than happy that the older actor got the chance to finally see his worth as an artist again.

As he takes his last position on stage, he imagines Jae sitting on one of those chairs by the audience, alone, and wearing a proud smile that Brian longs to see.

Even when he has his eyes closed, Jae is still there with him. The short two words from that fateful text swimming through his vision.

He feels tingles running up his entire body as he loses himself in the song, letting the words flow freely from deep within. 

And all too soon, the scene comes to an end.

His thoughts get pulled back from wherever Jae’s smile took him, feeling a little disoriented as he suddenly hears a round of applause erupting inside the theater.

“Now _there’s_ my Christian!” Marianne calls from the front row, standing up as she regards Brian positively.

“See? I told you.” Adrienne tells the director, beaming. 

“Alright, I admit.” She raises her hands in front of her. “I was a little hesitant in the beginning. But _wow_ , Mr. Kang. You really showed me.”

Brian preens from the praise.

He did it.

He finally fucking did it.

 _Jae was right. I can do this._ He comments to himself. _And_ — _oh_ _my god, Jae! How could I ever repay him? I owe him a whole lot more than just a thank-you kiss for this!_

“I do still have a few minor notes.” Marianne adds, light and casual now after Brian nailed one of the most important scenes in the play, “Particularly on where you stand during a specific part in the song. But other than that, your expressions and the quality of your singing? Absolutely phenomenal. Good job.”

Because of the newfound connection that Brian had with his character, rehearsals got finished for the day about fifteen minutes earlier than usual. As he exits the backstage doors of the theater, he figures he has enough time to pick something up from his old apartment. Something that he knows will be a great surprise to Jae.

Over the past two months, his manager has been kind enough to check up on his old place at the end of every week. He doesn’t want to get ahead of himself but he finds that he’s actually dreading the idea of moving out of Jae’s apartment to go back to his. 

Their entire team hasn’t planned that far ahead yet as they’re too focused on keeping up the pretense and staying above the media. They figured that they’ll get there in due time.

But Brian can’t help wondering what they’re going to do once his play runs in its entire fruition and Jae finally bags that melodrama. The time when they no longer need the fake relationship to help their careers.

Of course, him and Jae are mature enough to separate what’s real and what’s not. They have already talked about this. Since they started by wanting the public to see into their fake relationship, they both wanted to keep the real one that they have now as private as possible. They agreed that this is something that should stay exclusively theirs and not just for the entertainment of strangers.

When their pretend relationship comes to an end, he sure will miss all the fun that comes with it; trying to get caught by paparazzi, the articles published with a little help from Wonpil’s trusted connections, and their friendly competition in every fake date.

Although, he really isn’t upset about it much. 

The real thing is a thousand times better anyway.

He shoots a quick text to Jae telling him to just order in for their dinner because he’ll probably be home a little later as he sees his old apartment building only a few blocks away. His pace picks up as he cannot wait to show Jae what he has for him.

  
  
  


Jae is mildly overthinking at home. After his slip-up with the text message earlier in the day, Brian still hasn’t responded to him. Sure, up until six in the evening, he can reason that Brian was probably too busy to use his phone during rehearsal. But as he checks the wall clock in the living room, 6:18pm, he’s debating whether to call and take back what he said or just run with it and wait for Brian to bring it up himself.

As he takes too long to decide, the universe does it for him as his phone alerts him of a new text message. It’s from his boyfriend.

**_bribri:_**

_I’ll be home a little late, Jae_

_Just order in for the two of us tonight_

Did Brian sound a little too cold? Or is it just Jae overthinking?

As his fingers hover over the screen, trying and failing to come up with a response that perfectly conveys the things he wants to say, he receives another text from him.

_See you at home, babe 😘_

Jae’s entire frame sags in instant relief.

He still thinks that he must’ve put Brian in a tough spot by blurting out those two words earlier. But at least Jae is now sure that Brian isn’t mad at him for it.

_And whoever says the first ‘I love you’ through a text? Shouldn’t it be done in person?_

But did he really mean it though? Or did he just get lost in a moment of weakness?

As Jae digs through their time together, including the days before they became a real couple, he finds that the one answer to all of his questions is simple.

He’s fallen for Brian. 

As easy as that.

He means it with all his heart. Maybe, he meant it so much that it just poured out of him uncontrollably that’s why he texted it by accident.

He doesn’t feel the need to question it or nitpick when he started feeling this way. He just simply embraces it. After all, being able to openly love Brian is such a beautiful thing.

So, as sort of an apology for taking the younger by surprise with those words (he still believes that he put Brian in an awkward position), Jae decides to do something about dinner.

He walks to the kitchen as if he’s a man on a mission. He quickly scans through the fridge, checking to see if they have everything that he needs to make home-made hamburgers—one of Brian’s favorites. Once he makes sure that he’s not missing any important ingredient, he fishes his phone from his back pocket to look for a video tutorial that’s easy enough to follow.

As he properly lines the food and cooking utensils on the countertop, he begins watching and following the entire recipe to a T. 

Determined not to have a repeat of the mess he made trying to cook breakfast, Jae’s entire focus is on perfecting these burgers. 

He made one for him and two for Brian. He hesitated on making another as he knows Brian has the capacity to eat three. But since he made quarter-pound patties, he knows he probably can’t even finish his own bun. He trusts that Brian will just gladly eat the rest for him.

And miraculously, after only thirty-five to forty minutes, he’s already arranging the plates and the freshly cooked food on the coffee table by the living room. His favorite playlist is running softly in the background through the tv speakers as he cleans up; arranging the throw pillows on the couch and removing misplaced trinkets on the tabletop. 

They don’t really eat in the dining room. After they finished putting together the Avengers puzzle about two months ago, they carefully placed the whole thing on top of the dining table where it still lays, waiting to be framed.

As he’s properly aligning the bread knife and fork beside Brian’s plate, he hears the sound of the door being unlocked.

“I smell something delicious,” is the very first thing Brian says as he steps inside the apartment. After locking the door closed, he hangs his backpack on the hook behind it and Jae notices that he’s also carrying something big on one shoulder.

“What do you have over there?” Jae eyes the black… _thing_ behind Brian. But not a moment later as he traces the shape of it, he realizes what it is.

“Is that a—”

“My acoustic guitar!” Brian presents excitedly as he rests it against the wall beside the couch. “I went back to my apartment to get it, that's why I came home a little late. You said that you used to play, right? I brought it here just for you.”

“Ooh, can I play it now?” Jae leaves his place on the floor to try to remove the instrument from its case.

“Of course, but we should eat dinner first. I’m hungry.”

Jae chuckles softly, “You’re always hungry, Brian.” 

But still, he goes back to sitting on the floor beside an eager Brian.

“This smells _so_ good, which restaurant did you buy them from?”

“Actually,” Jae self-consciously scratches the back of his head, “I cooked them myself.”

“You _made these_?” Eyes widened a fraction, Brian looks at the burgers with newfound interest.

“Like I said before, I really wanted to cook for you for once. I don’t know if it’s going to be good though since it’s just my first time making home-made hamburgers.” The older actor says in mild warning. “But I promise you, I followed the recipe religiously.”

Brian’s heart doubles in size at his boyfriend’s thoughtfulness. So, just because he can’t help it, he leans in to give Jae a warm kiss.

“I’m sure you did a good job, babe.” He whispers against his lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you starting tomorrow.”

As a response, Jae gives him another peck.

“And, um…” Brian trails off as he tilts his head to whisper directly to his boyfriend’s ear, his breath warming the skin, “I love you too, Jae.”

Jae pulls back a little to stare at him in awe. 

The tips of Brian’s lips lift in a tiny smile as he continues, “I’m a little upset that you got to say it first.”

The older actor snorts softly, eyes shining in pure adoration. “This means that I have you beat for two times now. Keep up, babe.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I have a lot of things planned for you.” Brian’s tone is pretty much dripping with mischief.

Jae playfully glares at him before saying, “I don’t know whether to be excited or scared. And before you get ahead of yourself, we better eat this first while it’s still hot.”

Brian doesn’t argue much at that.

And after the very first bite, he’s moaning out of delight for how delicious the food tastes. 

Jae flushes a little at how lewdly Brian made it sound but finds that he doesn’t mind it at all because Brian loves him _and_ his non-existent cooking skills.

Later that night, as they lay in bed waiting for sleep to claim them, Jae asks how Brian’s day has been.

At the reminder of his breakthrough, Brian turns in bed to face him. His entire face is lit up in happiness and excitement as he remembers Marianne complimenting him for the first time. She’s a strict director with a keen eye for perfection. The fact that she told Brian that he did a good job and even clapped for him is nothing short of a big deal.

“Rehearsals went better than I could have ever hoped for.” He shares, resting his chin on Jae’s chest. “I pretty much know Christian like the back of my hand now.”

“Oh, what changed?” Jae asks, matching the smile on Brian’s face as his fingers absentmindedly card through the younger’s hair.

“I can’t tell you, it’s a secret.” The theater actor throws in a sly wink before placing a fleeting kiss on his clothed chest. 

“Well, whatever it is, I’m proud of you, babe. Seeing you so happy right now is such a huge improvement to how nervous you looked just this morning.”

_Speaking of this morning…_

Brian remembers the thought he had about owing Jae a little bit of his thanks for being his inspiration with the role. 

And he just really felt like celebrating.

So, to show his appreciation, his hand snakes down Jae’s abdomen all the way to the hem of his shirt, the tips of his finger’s teasing the skin underneath.

Jae relaxes under his touch. The gentleness in which Brian drew circles across his waist is so soothing and hypnotic. His eyes flutter shut to savor the feel of it.

However, that is not at all what Brian had in mind.

The theater actor inches up against Jae’s frame, aligning his lips with the base of Jae’s neck. He dips forward to place soft and light open-mouthed kisses on the column of his throat. He gently nips and leaves kitten-licks all the way up his boyfriend’s jawline and to the sensitive spot right below his ear. 

Brian smirks as he hears Jae release a small gasp. 

_You like that, baby?_

Spurred by the reaction, his right hand travels down to tease the waistband of Jae’s boxer shorts, his forefinger slipping ever so slightly just right past the elastic band. 

Beneath his other hand resting on Jae’s chest, he feels the instant change in the pace of the older’s heartbeat.

“Brian, what are you doing?” Jae asks after a breathy sigh, both his hands reaching to grip Brian on the hips and pulling him closer.

“Just continuing where we left off this morning.” Brian whispers directly to his ear, his voice so low and sultry that he actually feels Jae shiver under him for a moment. 

_Time for me to make the first move._

Emboldened by the effect he has on Jae, Brian throws a leg over him. He shifts his position so that he’s now on top of the older and straddling his hips. His lips leave Jae’s skin as he stares into those adorable beady eyes, asking a silent question.

It’s Jae who voices it out for him.

“Are you sure?”

His eyes flit across Brian’s face, anticipating the answer.

Brian doesn’t make him wait for long as he bends down to give him a deep, hungry kiss. He lets his actions speak for him as he draws closer to Jae’s body. 

Both his hands cup the older’s face and revels in the way Jae kisses back with so much passion, sucking and pulling on his lower lip. He savors the delicious sensations all over him. 

They keep kissing to their hearts’ content.

Each kiss is wet, torrid, and oh, so unbelievably hot. Fire starts to build from within Brian as he feels the tip of Jae’s tongue against his lips, asking for entry.

He decides to tease him for a bit by pulling away. Instead, he resumes his onslaught of kisses along his neck. 

Jae whines at the loss but Brian is quick to appease him by dragging the crevice of his ass along the older’s half-mast as a blatant invitation.

“ _Oh, fuck_ ,” Jae moans as his hands still their exploration all over Brian’s back.

“Yes, please…”

Brian sucks a bruise on his collarbone before reaching to slowly guide one of Jae’s hands all the way to his thigh.

Through the haze of arousal, Jae manages to get the message. With both hands now, he wastes no time hitching Brian’s thighs on his waist before rolling them over.

Brian releases a yelp of surprise, cheeks puffing adorably as his head hits the soft pillows and making Jae chuckle softly above him.

“A little warning would have been nice.” He playfully slaps Jae’s shoulder.

Jae buries his head on the crook of the younger’s neck as he laughs some more. 

Brian feels the vibrations on his chest as Jae replies, “Says the guy who grinded on me two seconds ago. You almost gave me a heart attack, babe.”

“Are you complaining? Do you want me to stop?” The theater actor challenges with a smirk.

Jae lifts his head back up to threaten him. “Don’t you dare.”

Brian almost whimpers under his gaze. 

He finds that this look on the older, cheeks flushed, eyes glazed over in arousal, and parted lips swollen from all the kissing, is most definitely his favorite sight. 

Locking his legs around Jae, he goads, “Then shut up and get on with it.”

“Gladly.”

That night, a symphony of moans, gasps, and whimpers bounce off the walls of Brian’s room. They spend the rest of the evening exploring each other’s bodies and worshipping their favorite parts. The theater actor’s chest gets peppered with small bruises and Jae’s back gets littered with crescent-shaped scratch marks. 

Brian realizes that Jae is a very attentive lover during sex; he keeps searching the younger’s face for any sign of discomfort as he prepares his puckering heat. At one point, as he’s busy feasting on Brian’s pert buds, he creeps his hand down to wrap around the younger’s neglected shaft, making Brian release the sexiest, drawn-out moan he’s ever heard.

And Jae is pleasantly surprised to learn that Brian is unabashedly loud in bed and completely unhesitant to tell him what to do; go harder, deeper, or faster, and even roughly pull Jae’s lips back to his because he’s spending too much time on his nipples. He keeps saying incoherent words and screaming praises to Jae's name as the older pounds into him, hitting his sweet spot with every thrust.

Different variations of “I love you’s” spill from their lips as they reach the heavens together for the first time.

And as they lay together, spent and satiated, they find that love and lust make such a powerful combination. Especially when you’re experiencing it with the right person.

Brian starts giggling beside Jae, basking in the afterglow. 

“What’s so funny?” Jae asks him with a tired but amused smile.

Brian nuzzles closer to him as he shares, “Back then, when we were still rivals, I used to call you _‘Jae fucking Park’_ in my head.” He pauses, looking up at Jae with a mischievous smile. “But now I can say that ‘ _I_ _fucked Jae Park_ ’.”

He continues giggling at the ridiculous thought.

“Technically, I fucked you.” Jae adds, loving the melodic sound of Brian’s laugh.

“Oh, you did.” The theater actor agrees, laying his head back against Jae’s chest. “You fucked me good.”

  
  


***

  
  


**_Time for our weekly scheduled JaeBri update!_**

**_Jae Park was spotted shopping along 5th Avenue AND asking for his boyfriend Brian Kang’s opinion via facetime!_ **

**_Who’s the best boyfriend ever?!_ **

**_Hollywood actor Jae Park apparently drives his boyfriend to rehearsals every single time!_ **

**_Celeb couple sighting alert!_ **

**_JaeBri was seen doing a convenience store midnight run! See pictures below to see them look so adorable in oversized hoodies and pyjama pants! (Unfortunately, the store clerk won’t disclose what items our favorite couple seemed to be in such a hurry of buying… )_ **

**_JaeBri Trouble in Paradise? _ **

**_Actually, it’s quite the opposite! (Admit it though, you got clickbaited!) Click through our gallery of Jae glaring into the camera while out on a date with Brian._ **

**_As the two were having a lovely lunch in a local restaurant, one rude paparazzi got reportedly too close to Brian and Jae was definitely having none of it._ **

**_This week on Hollywood news:_ **

**_Jae Park is rumored as one of the actors being considered for the lead in Cynthia Wilson’s upcoming movie with the working title ‘Tethered’!_ **

  
  


***

  
  


As they reach the one-month mark of their relationship, Jae and Brian decide to have dinner at a popular Korean restaurant downtown that has those private rooms for customers, other than just having regular tables in the main space. They do have those too but at least their patrons have the choice to eat out in the open or be in separate rooms by paying at a higher price. 

The past month has been great for them. While they still kept up appearances for the sake of their images to the public, fortunately they were also able to go out on a couple of dates for their real relationship without being recognized. 

Sure, both times they went out was way past midnight but they didn’t mind. There were still a lot of cool places they could go to. 

They bought take-outs from a small ice cream restaurant and ate them while sitting on the hood of their rental parked in an empty parking lot. The other time, sweet Dowoon volunteered to keep the bar open a little later just so that Jae and Brian could have a few drinks alone together.

Most of the time though, they enjoyed staying at home. Brian began teaching Jae how to cook—breakfast food first because they are relatively easier. And Jae is actually a quick learner (especially when the reward to every dish he gets right is Brian’s kisses). 

In the afternoon, Jae would usually play pop songs with Brian’s guitar, his fingers quickly relearning the chords as Brian poked some fun at the lyrics. 

Sometimes, they facetime with Brian’s parents. And while the theater actor is happy to see Jae getting comfortable with them (especially his mom), he did notice that whenever Jae’s own parents would call him, he was always quick to decline it before shooting them a text to say that he’s busy.

Brian decided to ask him about it once after dinner when they’re having their usual movie marathon.

“It’s just…” Jae pauses, taking a deep breath, “I still haven’t told them any of the things that happened to me in the last five years. Back then, I did it because I didn’t want them to worry about me, knowing that they’ll ask me to come home. But now, it’s mostly just guilt for keeping them at arm’s length that’s stopping me from talking to them as much as I should.”

Brian didn’t push much nor gently nudged him in the right direction by coming clean to his parents. His innate ambitious personality urges him to help fix Jae’s relationship with his parents. But for now, he decides to let it go as he feels that Jae is probably still not ready for it.

As they’re heading to their reserved room, Brian smiles as Jae easily holds his hand the moment they start walking from the entrance. He’s very excited for this date because they have been planning for it beforehand. Jae, in particular, can’t wait to eat dinner where the food and courses are all Korean, claiming that he misses “authentic” food from home.

However, just as they’re walking past the open dining area of the restaurant, Brian feels Jae stop in his tracks. His entire posture stiffens and his fingers tighten against his.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?”

When Jae doesn’t respond to his questions, Brian follows the line of his gaze.

And he audibly sucks in a breath as he sees right by the corner booth farthest away from where they’re currently standing sits three older people including Axel Greenfield.

The director is laughing so obnoxiously loud with his friends, head thrown back without a care in the world. 

Which, in a way, is sort of true. 

If you have that much money, fame, and power, all of that is bound to get in your head, especially when you’re a person who’s irreparably rotten at the core.

Brian decides to save Jae from staring longer at the guy so he pulls him along the direction of their room.

Once inside the privacy of the space, he gently guides Jae to a seat before taking his own right across the table.

The older is visibly shaken up as he looks a little pale.

Brian is at a loss. He wants to erase that look on Jae’s face and to make the last two minutes disappear from memory but he doesn’t know what to do.

“Jae, I’m _so_ sorry…”

That seems to pull Jae’s attention away from the turmoil of his thoughts. 

“Why are you apologizing, Brian?”

“That you had to see him again and I couldn’t do anything to somehow prevent it from happening.”

After Jae registers his words, his tense shoulders visibly relax as he focuses on the here and now. He doesn’t let his thoughts succumb to the dark recesses of his mind once again. He’s better now.

And it’s true. 

After the initial shock and feeling as if his entire body was splashed with bone-chilling ice water, he realized that his mind didn’t disappear back into that night the way it used to. 

Is it because he finally let his friends take some of the burden off of him? Or is it because, little by little, his personal belief and motivations have changed? 

The trauma is still there but he’s no longer wanting to have that melodrama just to prove something to that director. He yearns to get that role solely because he wants to find joy in acting again. And because he’s been getting tweets and mail from his fans saying they miss him on the big screen. He wants to do this for them too.

The older actor lays his palm facing up on the table, silently asking for Brian’s.

“I’m right here with you, babe. I’m not going anywhere.” Jae tells him, caressing the back of his hand. “I was just shocked but I… I think I’m okay now. You don’t have to worry about me too much, Bribri.”

Brian studies his face for a few moments. He considers his words before deciding to let it go for now and diverting the conversation into safer topics such as what they’re going to order and what the rest of their plans are for the night.

Still, the image of Jae looking so helpless and terrified stays on the back of his mind. 

_I really need to do something about that guy._ Brian promises to himself, feeling pure hatred ignite his insides for causing such trauma and distress to the love of his life.

  
  


Some time during their third course, Brian excuses himself to go to the comfort room. As soon as he’s inside and after making sure that each stall is empty, he fishes his phone out to give Wonpil a call.

He just couldn’t sit still and do nothing.

“Brian?” The agent answers on the second ring. “I’m kind of in a meeting with Sungjin and Jessica right now. Is there a problem?”

“Wonpil,” the theater actor starts in an urgent voice, “Axel Greenfield is in the same restaurant as we are.”

Wonpil gasps. 

In the background of the call, Brian hears Sungjin’s voice, faint and worried. “What’s wrong, Pil-ie?”

“It’s Brian,” the agent informs his husband. And to Brian, he says, “Hold on, let me put you on speaker.”

“Guys, what do I do?” The theater actor starts pacing back and forth. “Jae saw him and I can’t be a hundred percent sure but I think Greenfield saw us too. When I was pulling Jae away, he was looking in our direction, smirking.”

“How’s Jae?” Sungjin’s voice sounds clearer now. “Did he say anything?”

“He said he’s fine but I don’t know.” Brian sighs, scratching his forehead as he stares back at his worried reflection.

Just then, he sees the devil himself walking into the comfort room. Their eyes meet in the mirror and Brian swears he sees a wicked glint in them before he puts on a well-practiced friendly smile. Brian has been an actor long enough to know when someone is putting on a mask.

“You’re Brian Kang, right? Broadway?” The director asks, hand outstretched in front of him as he comes closer to the theater actor. “I’m Axel Greenfield, big fan. You might have heard of me? I’m a famous Hollywood director.”

Sassy Brian rightfully makes an appearance as he replies, cold and snappy, “Do you mind? I’m on the phone.”

Axel pauses, studying Brian closely and dropping his hand back to his side. 

After a beat of silence, he scoffs, rolling his eyes and shedding the open and friendly façade. “You sound just like your boyfriend. Think you’re worth something, huh.”

Brian grips his phone in anger. 

_How fucking dare he say that about Jae?_

“Pil? Stay on the line, I don’t know what I’ll be able to do with this bastard.”

“Okay, okay.” Wonpil tells him, placatingly. “Calm down, Brian, he’s not worth it. Just keep talking to us.”

However, Brian doesn’t listen to him much as the director keeps talking. 

“So, you’re Jae’s new guy…” Axel gives the theater actor a complete once-over, taking a few steps closer. “About time he found someone. I was afraid I actually ruined his life five years ago. Say, how is he, by the way? Still not getting any offers?”

The director’s smirk is incredibly infuriating that Brian’s hands shake out of fury.

“You didn’t ruin his life. Not by a long shot. He’s a lot stronger than you think.”

He drops his hand, the one holding the phone, to his side. His muscles tense with how much anger is running through him right now. He wants nothing more than to wipe off that smug look on his face. 

He’s not really a violent person but right now, his entire body itches to do some damage by kicking him where the sun doesn’t shine.

And he is about to when he catches sight of Jae entering the room.

“Brian?” He looks between the two. “What’s going on here?”

“Ah, Jae!” The director faces him, looking pleased to see the older actor. “Long time no see, my friend.”

Jae completely ignores him as he comes to stand beside Brian. “Are you okay, Bri? Did he touch you? Did anything to you?” He begins fretting over his boyfriend and searching his face for any sign of distress.

Brian’s chest clenches at how Jae worried about him first despite what he must be feeling standing in such close proximity with the director. This is all the more reason for him to want to resolve this problem for Jae and to put it behind them once and for all. The same way he always deals with his own problems, face it head-on.

“I’m fine, baby.” He assures Jae with a tiny smile. “I just wanted to say something important to this guy.”

Hearing this, the director scoffs indignantly. “About what? Tell me to apologize? Please…” He faces Jae again. “Is this what you want Jae? Someone entitled just like you?”

“Don’t talk about Brian like that.” Jae tells him through gritted teeth.

“Or what, you’ll beat me?” Axel smirks, stepping closer to Jae’s face. “Like how you fought me off five years ago? Oh wait,” he pauses dramatically, “you didn’t. You just stood there and took everything that I gave you. Poor Jae, looking so helpless. Thanks to you, I actually developed a liking for holding people against their will. It excites me even more.”

“You really are nothing but a worthless fucking predator.” Jae spits back, realizing who this bastard really is, what he does, and the extent of his menace.

And even though he was reminded of how powerless he was back then, as he registers Axel’s words, he’s hit with so much clarity that it shakes him to the core.

He starts to realize now that _none_ of it is ever his fault. Not for being drunk, not for being unable to defend himself, and certainly not for the assault. 

He is a _victim_. Along with who knows how many more there are.

Yes, it’s horrific that it happened to him but at least he can stop punishing himself for it now. He can start directing all of that anger and resentment to the one who clearly deserves it the most.

“Go to hell, Greenfield.” He says the words with absolute resolve and finality before grabbing Brian’s hand and pulling him away from this awful excuse of a person.

“I’m not fucking done with you! You’re going to regret this, Jae. I’m going to destroy your boyfriend’s fucking career the same way I did to yours!” The director calls after them, reaching a hand on Jae’s shoulder to roughly make the actor face him again.

Jae realizes that he’s had enough of his threats, so, rearing his hand back, he punches Axel square on the face so hard he falls to his ass on the floor. Not long after, a trail of blood starts to drip from his nose. 

“Stay the hell away from me and Brian.” 

And with that, he leads Brian out of the room and directly to the counter to pay for their dinner. He decides to cut their date short, the night is pretty much ruined anyway.

Brian is too busy trying to see if Jae needs something from him—a hug, comforting words, anything—to realize that he kept the call during the entire exchange.

They’re quiet on the ride home and on the elevator back to the apartment. Brian is mostly waiting for Jae to say anything or show some sign of whatever he’s feeling so that he can do something to help.

About an hour after dinner, they’re currently seated on opposite ends of the couch, silent and unmoving. The theater actor longs to hold Jae in his arms but he knows that it’s not what he needs right now.

_What are you thinking, Jae? Let me in._

The sound of the older’s phone ringing distracts Brian’s thoughts from worrying too much about his boyfriend.

Jae’s sluggish motions in pulling out his phone to read the messages tell Brian of how exhausted he must be feeling both physically and emotionally.

Brian studies his face some more as he goes through the texts. 

His heartbeat picks up in seeing the way Jae pales and starts being agitated. His hands begin shaking, looking like he can’t sit still and riddled with anxiety.

“Jae, what is it?” He asks, worried out of his mind.

But instead of answering his question, Jae questions him, “Why were you in the comfort room with that director?”

Brian is confused. _Why does it matter?_

“I-I was on the phone with Wonpil, asking what I should do about Axel Greenfield being in the same building as us. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind for everything he did to you.”

“You _what_?”

Brian flinches a little with the harsh way Jae looked at him on the couch. He doesn’t know the exact reason behind his boyfriend’s sudden distress but Brian already feels like he did something bad.

“I just wanted to find a way to make you feel better. Is it wrong for me to do that?”

Jae runs a hand through his hair in exasperation. “But I already told you I was fine. Why didn’t you believe me? You had to go and try to solve this for me without asking for my opinion first? If you hadn’t disappeared off to the bathroom for too long, Axel wouldn’t have had enough time to follow after you. Which I’m pretty sure is what he did after seeing you with me. Now look where it got us.”

He presents the screen of his phone towards Brian.

On it are headlines after headlines of articles containing Jae’s name and that director’s.

**_BREAKING_ ** **_: Hollywood actor Jae Park punches award-winning director Axel Greenfield on the face. A witness claims that the director was left bleeding on the floor._ **

**_Bathroom brawl?_ ** **_Jae Park was reportedly seen punching his previous director on the face just this evening!_ **

**_JUST IN!_ ** **_Jae attacks the director who helped build his career five years ago in a famous Korean restaurant downtown!_ **

**_Is Jae Park just the real life version of Maximo Lim? Violent and likes to talk with his fists? Except it’s not against bad guys but the person he owes his career to. We’re so disappointed in you, Jae._ **

**_What does this mean for Jae Park’s career? Two week ago, the actor was rumored as being considered to play the lead in an upcoming romantic tragedy by the famous screenwriter, Cynthia Wilson. However, Wilson is known for actively avoiding controversies in the industry. Does this mean that Jae can start kissing the movie goodbye?_ **

Brian’s heart falls to the floor.

“Jae, oh god, I-I don’t…” He stammers. “I swear I didn’t intend for this to happen. I really just wanted to confront him about—”

“It doesn’t matter if you intended it or not!” The older actor interrupts him, standing up to start restlessly walking around the living room. “What matters to me is how you ignored my words and decided for me. I appreciate you always trying to help, Brian. I really do. But I can’t always have you solving my problems. I need to do that on my own.”

He stops on the other side of the coffee table right in front of Brian as he continues, “Am I that helpless to you?”

“No, Jae.” Brian is quick to tell him, standing up as well. “You’re not. Never.”

“Then why did you have to go behind my back? Look at what the media are saying right now because of what you did.” He points to his phone on the table, looking more and more agitated.

He starts pacing again, his movements are flighty and frantic and his breaths coming in short. He’s practically hyperventilating now as he remembers the words of those articles. 

“Oh god, oh god, oh god, Cynthia is definitely going to drop me now.” He pulls at his hair in frustration. “This isn’t happening, this _can’t_ be happening. What do I do now?”

Brian tries to reach for him. “Jae, why don’t we—”

“Haven’t you done enough?” When he faces Brian again, the theater actor sees unshed tears in Jae’s eyes. 

He’s lashing out at Brian as the beginnings of a mental breakdown creep up on him. “I hope you know that you’re part at fault here. If you just fucking listened to me, believed that I can handle myself and let the matter go, I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place!”

Brian reaches for Jae only for him to cower away. His heart clenches painfully in his chest as his hands drop, cold and empty. He feels his insides hollow out as the older actor avoids him.

But Jae isn’t done talking. “Just _please_ , Brian. Leave me alone for once. Go back to your apartment or whatever, I need time to think. I’m in shit way deeper now than I was before this fucking PR relationship even started. God, I think I’m better off without it.”

Brian feels his heart breaking into two as Jae finally walks away from him, heading to his own room and slamming the door shut. 

_Did he just say that he regrets being with me? That he was better off without meeting me?_ Brian pretty much starts crying right then and there, feeling like he was punched in the gut and his heart stomped on a few hundred times.

But as he stares after Jae, he can’t find a good enough reason to resent him for hurting his feelings like that. 

From Jae’s perspective, their entire setup seems unfair. Because the theater actor had their relationship as a backstory, he easily got his dream role while Jae just got dragged further down by his demons. 

_Don’t forget that you helped cause this mess_. A voice in his head helpfully reminds him.

On any given day, he would realize that Jae only said those words in the heat of the moment. That he didn’t mean any of them. 

But as he lets the guilt for causing this and the heartbreak from Jae’s hurtful words wash over him, Brian decides to listen to him. Take his words for what they are.

And so, later that night, Brian packs up his things and leaves Jae’s apartment at three in the morning. 

After Jae faintly hears the sound of the front door closing, he finally goes out of his room and into the pantry to retrieve a full bottle of whiskey. He’s going to drink his worries away and celebrate the death of his career.

  
  
  


A week later, Wonpil feels like he can’t handle all of this worrying anymore. The past few days, he has been answering calls nonstop and putting out fires left and right. These hounds are having a feast with the entire story. And Greenfield sure milked it for all its worth, tweeting his thanks for the public’s support in this “trying time”, citing research about anger management and violence, and even doing an interview about the whole damn thing, trying to make it out as if he’s a poor helpless victim.

In the middle of it all, Sungjin still hasn’t heard from the screenwriter even though this is around the time she said she’d deliver the news of her decision. 

And on top of that, he heard from Brian about the disagreement he had with Jae so now he was back in his own apartment for the time being. As per the theater actor’s request, Wonpil and Sungjin decided to check up on Jae four days ago.

Jae wouldn’t talk much to either of them and only let them into his living room for a few minutes. From what Wonpil was able to see, the entire place was a mess. Beer bottles and take-out containers littered the coffee table, Jae looked like he hadn't showered in years, and there were dark bags under his eyes.

When the actor would take too long to respond to their messages checking in, Sungjin finally warned him that if there’s more than eight hours of radio silence from him, he will not hesitate to go back to the apartment, demand to be let in, and start to live there with him.

So that’s what Jae did. 

After every seven hours and fifty minutes, he would send a text to both Sungjin and Wonpil saying “Fine” to assure them that he’s okay, relatively speaking, just to get them off his back.

Wonpil releases a heavy sigh for what feels like the hundredth time trying to come up with a way to sway the media. He’s been stressing about this for days now so he decides to distract himself for a bit. Once he reads or hears any more of that director’s name, his head will surely explode.

He chooses to review their minutes from his, Sungjin, and Jesssica’s last meeting instead. Pulling out a small recorder from his desk, he plugs in his earphones and takes out a pen and paper to take down notes. Since they had a lot of agenda they needed to cover, Wonpil wisely suggested to just record the whole thing.

And it’s when he’s barely minutes in that he hears the sound of a phone ringing. Confused, he pauses the record to check, only to see that his phone is locked. Looking around the office, he sees that most cubicles are basically empty now as it’s after office hours. 

He chose to stay late today to try to come up with a counter story while waiting for Sungjin to finish with his work as well.

A beat later, he realizes that the sound must’ve come from the recording. Brows furrowed, he wonders why there was a phone call in the middle of their meeting. And as he resumes the audio, his heart pounds loudly in his ears as he realizes what the call is about.

He rushes to his husband’s office, the recorder clutched tightly in one hand.

“Sungjin,” he calls his attention the moment he barges into the room, “you _need_ to listen to this.”

Wonpil can’t sit still as Sungjin finishes playing the audio. The moment that it comes to an end, he’s instantly by his husband’s side of the desk, agitated.

“So, this is it, right?” Wonpil feels antsy with equal parts worry and excitement. “This is what we need to take down that director and clear Jae’s name. Right, honey? Oh god, please tell me it is. I'm freaking out, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Sungjin stands up from his chair as he faces his husband. “I-I think this is what we need, Pil-ie.” He starts nodding in contemplation. “I think… we can finally save our friend from all this madness.”

Relieved, Wonpil wraps his arms around Sungjin. He hides his face on his husband’s neck as he says, “Thank god. I can’t even fathom what Jae must be feeling right now.”

Sungjin holds the back of Wonpil’s head to keep him close, tucking his chin to place a soft kiss on top of his head. “I’ll have the legal team analyze it first to make sure that we can release it. Though I’ll be honest with you, Pil, even if they don’t green light it, I’ll just release this anonymously. It’s about time we do something about that fucking director.”

Wonpil leans back to look at his eyes. “But they _will_ let us release this, right? I mean, you heard Brian, he warned the director that he was in a phone call and the director didn’t care. And we just happened to be recording the meeting the entire time. They can’t claim that there was a set-up. This is just Greenfield’s careless arrogance that came back to bite him in the ass.”

“I believe so.” Sungjin nods before continuing, “But before we do anything, let’s ask Jae first what he wants us to do with this.”

Sighing, Wonpil pulls away as he agrees. “Yeah, I’ll email him a copy of the audio right away.”

“Good job, hon. If it wasn’t for you, we won’t have this recording.” He gestures for Wonpil to come closer to give him a kiss. “How about after all this mess, we’ll take a vacation abroad. Anywhere you want to go.”

Wonpil gives him a grateful smile, love and devotion for his husband pouring out of his heart. “I’d love that.” He gives Sungjin a kiss just because he couldn’t help it.

Sighing, he looks down again to the recorder in his hand. “I really just want this to be over for Jae soon. He deserves to have some peace of mind. It’s been long overdue.”

  
  
  


The following night, Jae loses count of how many times he listened to that recording. 

Earlier today, Sungjin told him that their agency’s legal team suggested plans of action. They finally gave Sungjin the permission to officially release it to the media. But they also warned that due to the sensitive nature of the audio, the public will pressure them to press charges. The team claims that they’re ready to file a lawsuit and take everything to the court, but they just want to make sure that this is also what Jae needs.

“I don’t know, Pil…” he said over the phone when his agent delivered the news. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Wonpil repeated, disbelieving his words. “This is a goldmine! We’d be stupid not to release it right away and—”

“That’s not it.” Jae cut him off. “I do want to release it. About fucking time we start fighting back. It’s just…” he took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m not so sure about pressing charges.”

Wonpil paused, thinking. “Why not, Jae? He’s a sexual predator. He belongs behind bars.”

“I know that more than anyone.” Jae assured him. He took a few seconds to respond, considering. “Look, give me a few hours to think about it.”

The agent sighed over the phone. “Alright. Call me back when you’re ready.”

And he is here now, mulling over what he should do, sitting on the couch and staring at the recorder as if he stared long enough, it will start playing the answer. 

His team already released a copy of the audio to the media after he gave his permission three hours ago. It all happened incredibly fast after that. Since then, his phone started blowing up with notifications so he decided to turn it off.

He’s still no close to making a decision about pressing charges ever since he talked to Wonpil earlier. 

Common sense tells him that he _should_ press charges. He’s a victim. It’s his right to do so.

But he can’t ignore this voice in his head telling him to keep thinking it through.

_This isn’t as easy as choosing the right thing to do._

He’s hesitant about pressing charges because he knows what that entails. 

Is he ready to take the stand? Recount the things that happened during the lowest point in his life to absolute strangers trying to decide if they believe him? Get cross examined and have his words and the private things about his life be laid out for everyone to see?

He plays the audio again.

At this rate, he already has it memorized.

But for some reason, as he hears Brian’s voice telling the director that he didn’t ruin his life, and that “he’s a lot stronger than you think,” it resonates differently than the way it did the other times he listened to it.

 _Did Brian mean it? Did he really believe that I can do this? If he did, then why did he still choose to go behind my back and solve my problems for me…_ Jae trails off, remembering how harsh he was to the theater actor. He doesn’t hold it against Brian anymore. Mostly, he’s just conflicted. Brian said he believes in him and yet he still acted for him? Jae doesn’t know what to think.

They haven’t talked much since their fight—correction: since Jae lashed out at him. 

He’s been meaning to call him, apologize and take back everything that he said. But guilt and cowardice stop him every time. Throw in his self-pity into the mix and Jae doesn’t stand a chance.

_Maybe Brian’s better off without me in his life. He doesn’t deserve to be dragged down with me._

He brings his phone back to life to scroll through and reread their text thread.

Brian has been texting him every night since the fight. Sometimes he’s just apologizing, and other times he’s asking if Jae has already eaten (“You better not be eating take-outs again, I didn’t teach you how to cook only for you to forget everything”) and reminding him to get some sleep (“play the guitar to calm yourself. I left it there for you”).

Tonight, his text is short and simple. It came minutes after the audio was released.

**_bribri:_ **

_Are you okay?_

His heart feels heavy in his chest. He hasn’t replied to any of the texts and yet Brian doesn’t stop sending them. 

Jae is both grateful and ashamed.

_I promised your mom I wouldn’t hurt you. And look how quick it was for me to break that._

Heart heavy in his chest, he closes their thread and decides to kill time on Twitter.

And instantly, as he opens it, he sees a couple of tags and keywords trending related to him and that director. #AxelGreenfieldisgoingtojailparty, “sexual predator”, and “WE ARE SO SORRY JAE”.

He snorts as he reads media outlets releasing new articles taking his side and saying that he was the victim all along. He expects himself to feel relieved now that the media knows what really happened but he just ends up bitter and resentful. He remembers how quick they are to turn against him just days ago. They don’t hesitate to take every opportunity to drag people down. They’re like vultures watching a gazelle struggle for its life, waiting for the right moment to strike.

But as he reads through the messages sent by his fans, his sour mood improves almost instantly. 

See, apart from his friends, these are the people who've always been by his side. When the first of the many articles slammed him for punching that director, they gave him the benefit of the doubt. They waited for him to explain his side of the story and prayed for the truth to come out. 

And now that it did, some of them are even crying for him and for everything that he’d been through.

So, just then, Jae figures out what he needs to do.

 _Time to stop hiding. This is the last time I’ll let you ruin my life again, Axel._

He searches for Wonpil’s contact name again to deliver his decision.

After the call ends, he proceeds to clean his entire apartment. 

Now that he’s choosing to fight, he needs to have a clear mind and a clean living space to properly prepare for the legal action. 

He starts with the living room, throwing out all of the empty beer cans, pizza boxes, and picking up the scattered clothes on the floor. In the kitchen, he washes the dishes, scrubs the countertops, and takes out the trash. He avoids looking at the puzzle on the table by the dining room. In his room, he fixes his bed and opens the curtains to let some light in. 

However, as he’s standing in front of the guest room, he hesitates. Ever since Brian took his word and left him alone, Jae hasn’t stepped foot in his room.

He takes a few deep breaths, mustering enough courage, before finally opening the door.

His heart breaks to see how empty the space is, Brian taking all the comfort and warmth of the room with him. 

Jae gingerly starts cleaning, fixing the bed and ignoring the pang in his chest at the reminder of how he used to sleep here just days ago. If he leaned in close enough, he can still smell Brian’s lingering scent on the sheets. It’s faint now but it’s still there.

He quickly moves on to the closet, dusting the edges, and when he opens it, he feels himself sink to the floor. He starts to break down again as tears cloud his vision, the unparalleled pain and regret in his heart spreading through the rest of him like wildfire.

_I really fucked up the one thing good in my life._

Inside, there sits a piece of clothing that Brian chose to leave behind, the one that the theater actor used to love wearing to bed—Jae’s oversized grey shirt.

  
  
  


Two days later, Jae wakes up from a nightmare. It’s different than the ones he’s used to having but still equally horrifying.

He dreamt that he was already taking the stand, crying, desperate, and begging for the jury to believe him. But all they ever did was laugh at him as they continued gushing over the director.

His entire body is covered in cold sweat as he lays in bed, panting. He doesn’t miss the way he blindly searched the side of the bed, looking for Brian’s comforting presence only to come up empty.

Checking the time, 2:18am, he reaches for his phone to have something to do, knowing that it’ll be hours again before he goes back to sleep if he’s lucky. And mindlessly scrolling through his phone is so much better than worrying about the lawsuit.

He hasn’t heard much from Sungjin and Wonpil about it but they assured him that they’ll be filing it in a few days. 

He’s trying not to obsess about it too much.

But knowing himself, he jumps right to the worst possible scenario.

_What if the authorities find that they don’t have enough evidence to pursue the case? After everything I’ve been through, nothing can still come out of this?_

He realizes that waiting around and doing nothing is not good for him. And that he really needs to stop beating himself up over something he can’t control. 

If he wants some peace of mind, he needs to find himself again.

But he also knows that he can’t do it alone.

So, after staring at his phone for a long time, he finally presses the call button on the screen.

He picks up on the third ring.

“Hey, Dowoon.” Jae greets him. “Sorry to be calling this late but… I need your help.”

“Anything, Jae.”

The actor takes a deep breath. “Can you send me your aunt’s contact details?”

Dowoon’s reply comes surprised but enthusiastic. “Of course. I’ll send it to you immediately. I’m _so_ proud of you, Jae.”

“Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.”

This is not about admitting his vulnerability anymore. It’s about letting himself embrace it so that he can finally seek help. Something that he probably should have done a long time ago.


	8. so i’m gonna give all my secrets away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> act five: coup de théâtre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we begin with the last chapter (😢), I’m going to give a heads-up: I took the (arguably?) realistic route with this sexual assault case. But, it doesn’t always need to have a negative connotation, right? You’ll get what I mean.  
> And don't worry about jaebri, this chapter is overflowing with fluff ;)  
> Still unedited! I mean, at this point it's so obvious that I'm lazy doing that part lol but tbh, I usually just wait 'til the last chapter to edit the whole fic.  
> Anyways, here it is!!!

Two weeks and a day.

Yes, Brian has been counting.

It’s been two weeks and a day since he left Jae’s apartment and he’s received nothing but radio silence from the Hollywood actor. It might seem unreasonable, but he hasn’t felt this much longing in his life for as long as he can remember. He wants to see Jae so damn much that he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Whenever he would talk to his parents lately via video chat, he’d lie and make up an excuse that Jae is busy handling all this media frenzy that’s why he’s not there every time they ask about the older actor. He can tell that his parents are worried for Jae as well but he doesn’t want to add to that by saying that he and Jae are kind of not talking right now.

He just got back from a tiring day of dress rehearsals and he’s still not used to going home to an empty apartment. Which is ironic considering that he’s been living alone for more than five years before the whole fake relationship started. And yet, three whole months of living with Jae are already enough to change a lot of things in Brian’s day-to-day life.

Going to sleep alone feels lonely. But waking up every morning on a cold and empty bed feels even lonelier. A queen-sized bed has never felt more spacious than it did before. His first dinner back at the apartment, he didn’t notice at first that he was preparing ingredients fit for two. The reminder demotivated him from cooking so much that he ended up calling for deliveries instead for three nights straight.

And then after every dinner, he would have a movie marathon in bed. Except that he only watched Jae’s four movies on repeat. 

Needless to say, he really misses his boyfriend.

At exactly nine in the evening, he kept sending Jae reassuring messages. He wants to do more, something that will make him feel much more useful in helping Jae get through all of this but he doesn’t want to repeat his mistake.

The first night back to his apartment, Jae’s words kept playing themselves over and over in his head. He’s not going to lie, they hurt like hell. He was only trying to help. Because he loves Jae so much, his problems are also Brian’s problems. Same thing as his happiness being Brian’s happiness. Didn’t Jae understand that?

Hearing that Jae regrets agreeing into this pretend relationship pretty much means that he regrets everything else that came after it, right? Learning to work together, becoming great friends, and ultimately developing it into a loving relationship. He hasn’t felt this much love and happiness in such a short amount of time so to have it all invalidated right in front of him almost broke his heart.

But after getting enough sleep and having a clear head, he quickly realized that that wasn’t the case at all. Jae was put into a tough spot because of those articles slamming his name and discrediting his whole career once more. They caused him to retreat back to his usual standoffish self. Years and years of trauma caused him to lash out. And Brian found that he doesn’t blame Jae at all. In fact, his heart broke for a different reason this time. He’s aching for Jae and how he could never seem to take a break, as if he could never outrun the past.

One thing he’s absolutely sure of is that his love for Jae is _not_ fragile. He can handle much more than hurtful words that he probably didn’t even mean. And even though it pains him to do so, he lets Jae have his space.

So that’s what he’s been doing. Despite the fact that his play premieres in less than a week and he wants Jae to be by his side now more than ever, he’s willing to see this through alone. 

_He probably has more important things to think about._ Brian sighs as he stares at the opening day tickets in his hand.

He’s been worried sick lately. Sungjin and Wonpil have been keeping him up to date with everything that’s happening with the case and assuring him that Jae is actually taking everything better than they thought. For one, he started cleaning again. And for another, he finally threw out all of the alcohol in the fridge. 

Brian didn’t even realize he was wearing a proud smile so wide until his cheeks started hurting afterwards.

But when Sungjin told him that the authorities chose not to pursue the case for now, “for lack of witnesses and physical evidence” they said, he almost marched down to Jae’s apartment immediately. The only thing that stopped him was Wonpil’s reassurance that they’re spending the night at Jae’s place to keep him company.

Instead, he just opted to send him a text. The only thing he feels like he’s allowed to do these days.

**_jae baby:_ **

_You’ll get through this, Jae._

And because he couldn’t help it, he sent another one.

_I love you so much._

That night, Brian cried himself to sleep. 

His heart cried for Jae and for everything that he’s going through. And he cried for himself, knowing that this is all he can do to help.

The soft ding of the elevator breaks Brian from his reverie. Stepping into the fifth floor of the building, he walks through the left hallway until he reaches Ms. Yoon’s office. Dowoon’s aunt specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, providing psychotherapy for people with anxiety disorders, depression, alcohol and drug use problems, all five types of PTSD, and other mental illnesses. 

Talking to her has helped treat Brian’s depression back in college. Fortunately, it was mild enough that he agreed to take the no-drug approach after it was suggested to him. It took him about twenty four sessions that lasted for three months (going every Tuesday and Friday at three in the afternoon).

He’s always been coming back to visit her office, not as a client but as a family friend, just to catch up usually during lunch period. But not this time as he came to hand-deliver two free tickets for his play.

“Oh, Brian! I haven’t seen your pretty face in months.” the receptionist, Anna Gil, greets him. She’s probably as old as Dowoon’s aunt, around her late forties, and has been working in this office ever since he was still in college. “What brings you here this early?”

As a response, he flashes her a bedimpled smile before sliding a ticket over the tall counter separating them.

It takes her a few seconds to realize what’s being presented to her before she quickly snatches it from Brian’s hand. She walks from behind her computer and gives the theater actor an excited hug. 

“I’m so proud of you!” She pulls away, holding on to his shoulders as she looks at him like a proud mom. “You’re going to kill it. I know I always say that for all of your plays but I just really love seeing you up there onstage.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more. The free tickets given to the entire cast are very limited because apparently they’re in demand.” He scratches the back of his head sheepishly.

The receptionist is quick to assure him. “Don’t worry, Brian. And the tickets _better_ be in demand, especially when they have you playing the lead.”

Brian chuckles at that as Anna pulls away from him.

“Is aunt Susie free right now?” He gestures to the door to the therapist’s main room.

“Oh, she’s in there with a client but they’ll be done in a few minutes.” Anna goes back to her desk before directing Brian to one of the three beige couches. “The next client still hasn’t arrived so you can probably sneak five minutes in between. You can take a seat while you wait, sweetie.”

The theater actor flashes her a grateful smile before sitting on a couch.

He keeps himself busy by flipping through magazines giving tips about mindfulness and maintaining a healthy mental state when he hears faint voices getting louder and louder before finally, the door to Susie’s office opens.

And just like that, he feels like his entire body has stopped working.

His heart skips a beat as his eyes meet Jae’s.

The older actor stands completely still as he stares back. 

Brian eagerly searches his face, as if by scanning through Jae’s features, he can have an idea of how he’s been doing. The circles under his eyes, those plump but chapped lips that he loves so much, eyelids blinking adorably and so delicately as if asking to be kissed, and a light shade of rose creeping up his neck causing the theater actor's heart to pound harder. 

Brian almost melts at the familiar sight of it all.

 _Is it just me or has his hair gotten darker and grown longer? Or maybe it’s just because I miss him so much?_ Brian wonders, standing up from the couch so that they’re at eye level. _And, oh my god, he’s here in an appointment with Susie?!_

Every part of Brian’s body itches to touch him, to close this small distance between them, and to finally hold him in his arms. 

But the way Jae’s looking at him right now, a little wary and uncertain, he’s afraid he might be pushed away again so he stays rooted to the carpeted floor.

Sensing the sudden tension in the room, Susie clears her throat before coming to stand in the space between the two actors. 

To Brian, she says, “What brings you here, sweetie?”

Brian breaks off from Jae’s intense gaze as he remembers the lone ticket in his hand.

Ignoring the sensation of his knees feeling weak, he hands it to the therapist. “I came to give you this, aunt Susie. My play premieres in less than a week.”

The words seem to bring Jae’s consciousness back to reality. His eyes flit to the ticket then back to Brian’s face as he echoes, “Your play?”

“Um, yeah. And actually,” Brian pauses, suddenly hesitant to meet his eyes. “I gave Sungjin a ticket for you as well. Not that I’m telling you to come, I’m just—” quickly shaking his head, he catches the way it sounded so he starts rambling, “I mean, _of course_ I want you there. God, you have no idea. But I know that this is probably the last thing on your mind so I asked Sungjin to keep it for you, leaving you the option to go or not. You really don’t have to go though, Jae. The entire play will run for a few months anyway, so you can watch until then. Or you can choose not to watch at all—”

“Brian.”

Brian returns his gaze after hearing the seriousness in his voice.

He can’t be too sure, but in the corners of his vision, he sees Susie giving Jae a subtle encouraging nod.

He waits with bated breath for the older actor to continue.

“Can,” he pauses, swallowing a lump in his throat before asking, “Can we talk?”

Brian’s heart drops to the floor. His special mind-reading skills are suddenly non-existent (special as in it only works on Jae) as his mind jumps to all the bad things Jae could possibly say to him right now.

 _Is he going to break up with me? Ask me to stop sending those text messages? Repeat that he really regrets being with me?_

It’s a miracle that he’s able to muster enough strength to say, “Always, Jae.”

Because, even though his palms start sweating and his heart won’t calm down, he’ll never say no to Jae. 

It’s not as if he even has the will to do so anyway.

  
  
  


Jae drives them back to the apartment. 

Brian tries to hide how much being here again warms his heart. It’s the place that’s been his home for a little over three months, giving him so much more than he could have ever asked for. He’s pleasantly surprised to see that there had been a few notable changes just as he’s stepping into the living room. 

There’s now a large patterned rug underneath the couch and the center table, the feel of it soft and cozy against his bare feet. The theater actor walks towards the two medium-sized pots of snake plants sitting on the windowsill by the wall to the right. They haven’t grown much yet but they seem to be thriving. 

After inspecting the plants, his eyes pan across the entire room. It’s then that he notices on the wall behind the couch hangs a framed thousand-piece puzzle of his favorite group of heroes.

“You finally got it framed?” Brian can’t help asking excitedly as he comes closer to inspect the result of their hard work. 

He remembers putting this whole thing together when they were still starting to become friends. And before they started having movie marathons in bed, piecing this puzzle together was their first ever nightly routine.

However, as he turns to look at Jae again, his smile easily drops from his face. 

He’s just standing there on the open door frame to the kitchen and the dining room, waiting for Brian to follow him.

 _How serious is this going to be that we need to sit by the dining table and not out there on the couch?_ Brian’s heart thuds in his chest as he takes a seat across Jae.

The older’s interlaced fingers are resting on his side of the table. The inches of space between them taunt Brian. He wants nothing more than to reach out and hold them but his hands stay where they are, fidgeting nervously on his lap.

They’re quiet for a few moments as Brian waits for Jae to speak. He can tell just by looking at him that he’s trying to gather enough courage to start talking. The way he’s biting his luscious lower lip, his thumb absentmindedly caressing his own palm—Brian almost melts at the sight, remembering how Jae used to do that to him every time they held hands—and the way his eyebrows are slightly furrowed in concentration.

Brian has a lot of questions but he doesn’t want to scare him away so instead, he just asks them in his head.

 _What were you doing in Susie’s office? How are you feeling after they chose not to pursue the case? Why can’t you meet my eyes? Please look at me again the way you used to. God, I want to kiss that frown away. Will you let me?_ His shoulders sag in despair at the last one. He never used to hesitate showering Jae with love and kisses before.

He starts to feel anxious not being able to do anything and just sit there waiting.

But still, that’s what he does. He waits some more because he knows that Jae will meet him halfway when he’s ready. Even if it takes a long time, he'll always wait for Jae.

The sound of the older actor releasing a heavy breath pulls Brian’s attention away from his thoughts. Finally, Jae meets his eyes again, absolute resolve and something else Brian can’t name making his gaze shine.

Something tender and warm that almost causes the theater actor to start crying.

“I’m sorry, Bribri.”

Brian isn’t expecting that at all.

His heart surges with a myriad of powerful emotions—understanding, solace, and devotion. He decides to be bold by finally grabbing Jae’s hands on top of the table. He feels his knees turn to jelly by the way the older actor welcomed his touch, splaying his fingers open all for Brian to hold.

“I’m sorry.” Jae repeats, leaning forward to rest his forehead on their intertwined hands. “I’m _so_ sorry it took me this long to talk to you.”

Brian quickly takes his hands back as he rushes to come sit beside Jae on the other side. Even that small width of the table is too much of a distance between them so the theater actor decided to do something about it. He scoots the chair closer so that the side of his leg is almost pressed against Jae’s.

The older actor follows Brian’s every move with attentive eyes and yet his entire being is still taken by surprise when the theater actor places a kiss on his forehead. Jae’s hands slowly reach up to grip the front of Brian’s shirt, pulling him closer.

“It’s okay, baby.” The theater actor whispers against his skin, brushing Jae’s hair back and leaving more kisses. “There’s no need to apologize. I completely understand. We’re both here now. This is what matters most to me.”

“No, no, please.” Jae slightly pulls away, giving Brian an imploring look. “I wish I had a better excuse other than feeling guilty and being afraid. I shouldn’t have avoided you for so long. Hell, I shouldn’t even have blamed it all on you. You were just trying to help and in return I said such hurtful things that I didn’t even mean.”

“Jae, that’s the thing,” Brian cups the side of his face, his thumb softly caressing the apple of his cheek, “I know that you didn’t mean them so why would I hold it against you? Like I said, I get it. You were under a lot of stress. It’s normal to buckle because of it. But baby, I want you to know that I will never see you with a broken set of eyes. So don’t worry about me. Okay?”

He waits for him to respond. And when he sees a tiny flicker of light radiate from Jae’s eyes, he continues, “If anything, I should be the one apologizing for going behind your back. I shouldn’t have projected the way I solve my own problems into yours. I should’ve asked if that’s what you wanted, I’m _really_ sorry.”

Jae searches his face for a while. A few emotions flit over his beautiful and delicate features as he lets Brian’s words wash over him, taking every bit of his doubt and leaving nothing but love and assurance in its wake.

And slowly, the corners of his lips lift a little as he feels a soothing calm envelop him completely. The sight of it on his angelic face causes Brian’s heart to soar to the heavens.

“Are we gonna go back and forth about it? Compete to see who deserves to apologize more?”

Brian releases a chuckle, light and easy. 

_There’s my Jae._

Shaking his head, he says, “I’d rather keep my lips busy doing something else other than arguing.”

“Like what?” Jae’s features are more relaxed now as he turns his head sideways to kiss the inside of Brian’s wrist. 

The theater actor feels as if a huge burden has been lifted off his shoulders, the familiar touch of Jae’s perfect lips against his skin resonating through his entire body. 

“I’m not going to lie,” He replies in a low voice, his eyes trained on Jae’s lips traveling up his palm until he reaches the tips of his fingers to leave feather-light kisses, “you distracted me. I forgot what I was going to say.”

“Well then, let me refresh your memory.” The second the words leave Jae’s mouth, he drops Brian’s hand to crash his lips against his boyfriend’s. The kiss is tender and passionate, soft and breathtaking, and almost feels too much but still not nearly enough. They sigh into it, hearts surging from the sensation of it all. 

Nothing but love, adoration, and contentment flooding through them, both relieved to finally be together again after being apart for two weeks and a day. 

Yes, Jae has been counting too.

  
  
  


“What do you want for lunch, babe?”

It’s been almost a couple of hours after they talked and about a little more than an hour after they finally stopped devouring each other’s faces; the sound of Brian’s stomach growling ruined the mood that Jae couldn’t stop laughing.

Since then, they moved on from the dining room to scrounge the cabinets in the kitchen for food. Jae hasn’t been to the groceries yet so their options are a little limited.

“Hm,” Brian hums in contemplation as if he’s deep in thought. “I’m craving for some chicken right now. Do we have that?”

Jae checks the chiller compartment in the fridge. “You’re in luck, Bri. There’s a few pieces of wings left.” He places the plastic container of the white meat on the countertop.

Brian cheers lightly before sliding off from where he’s sitting on the island. “Do you want me to cook?”

“Oh actually,” Jae starts, giving the theater actor a sheepish look, “can you teach me how to make those flavored drumsticks that you made like two months ago? The one we ate at four in the morning? I tried to recreate the honey barbeque sauce the other day by following a recipe but it didn’t taste as good as yours did.” He finishes, his lower lip unknowingly jutted out in a tiny pout.

Brian, quick as lightning, steals a kiss because of the adorable sight of it.

The older actor feigns a look of betrayal as he tries to playfully smack his boyfriend on the shoulder but Brian has wisely disappeared into the pantry. He resurfaces a few seconds later with his arms full of ingredients.

After placing them on the counter, he gestures for Jae to come closer.

“Let’s prepare the sauce first while waiting for the chicken to completely thaw.” He instructs, stepping behind Jae. “Start by stirring all the liquid ingredients together in a saucepan over medium heat. My trick with this sauce is I mostly just eyeball it, doing minimal attempts of measuring.”

Jae dutifully does as he’s told. He bends down to check the fire when he feels Brian’s hands grab him by the waist. He throws the younger a curious glance over his shoulder but Brian merely flashes him an innocent smile so he goes back to the task.

After he has poured the honey, ketchup, and other flavoring ingredients into the pan, he asks, “How long am I supposed to stir this?”

Brian’s voice sounds much closer than he’s expecting as he feels the theater actor’s breath warm his ear. “About five minutes or until everything appears smooth and fully incorporated. After that, stir in the rest of the seasonings and wait for it to simmer.”

Jae just nods as a reply.

Just then, he feels Brian’s hands slowly snake underneath his shirt. A pleasant shiver runs down his spine as Brian’s fingers start drawing circles on the skin of his stomach. The subtle touches are so soothing and gentle that Jae involuntarily releases a soft sigh.

And as if that isn’t enough, the younger starts kissing his way down Jae’s jaw all the way to the base of his neck before coming back up again to softly suck on the sensitive spot behind his ear.

Jae has to actively prevent his eyes from closing, wanting nothing more than to savor Brian’s advances.

_You’re acting clingier than usual, babe._

And it’s not that he minds it. He actually welcomes it even more by tilting his head to the side to expose his neck further. After all, he missed being this close to the younger too. He just can’t get enough of him.

Clearing his throat to keep his voice even, he tells him, “Bri, I’m trying to focus on cooking.”

“Why? You don’t like it?” The theater actor asks against his skin as his hands teasingly retreat from around his waist.

Jae doesn’t respond as he wordlessly places his free hand over Brian’s to keep them where they are.

“Thought so.” Brian quips.

Jae can pretty much hear the smirk on his boyfriend’s voice as his lips continue their onslaught of kisses.

It’s a miracle that Jae is able to properly cook the sauce after that.

After lunch finds them sitting on the couch watching Netflix on the tv. They chose a light comedy but they’re currently twenty minutes in and they still don’t know what it’s mostly about. They easily get distracted trying to catch up with each other so the movie is basically just a background noise at this point.

They’re lounging sideways on the couch with Brian laying in between Jae’s legs. He has his back against the older’s chest and his head rests on Jae’s shoulder. Over his tummy, he absentmindedly plays with his boyfriend’s slender fingers. 

He just can’t stop touching him.

He feels completely relaxed and content right now, his worries from before almost vanishing entirely. Almost.

No matter how much he wants them to just stay in their own perfect bubble forever, he knows that Jae is still facing a lot of things at the moment. He can’t just go and ignore them.

Hesitantly, he starts to ask, “Jae?”

He feels the vibrations on his back as Jae hums in questioning.

“How are you feeling about all of _this_?” He’s aware that one word isn’t enough to encapsulate every horrible thing that’s happening but he doesn’t want to voice them out either. Provide them with even more power by saying them out loud.

 _This_ , meaning the authorities’ decision not to pursue the case. _This_ , meaning the lack of news from a certain famous screenwriter. And _this_ , meaning Jae’s decision to go to therapy, assuming that Brian’s guessed correctly on why he was there in the first place.

Jae takes a few moments to respond. But it’s not because he doesn’t want to tell him. God, he wants nothing more than to tell Brian everything. He yearns to feel reassured and be comforted again. And Brian is the only one who’s been able to perfectly make him feel that way in his entire life. 

It’s just that he doesn’t know where to begin. 

Should he start with the heaviest topic immediately? Recount the prosecutor’s words? 

_But I don’t want to ruin the serenity of this moment that we’re having just yet. If I can prolong it, even just a bit, then I surely will._

And so, because of that, he chooses the easiest one first. At least, in his opinion it’s the easiest.

Taking a deep breath, he shares, “I started going to therapy two weeks ago.”

“How is it so far?” Brian’s voice is ever so gentle and careful.

“You know, it’s actually helping.” The older actor lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “I probably should have gone sooner. But it doesn’t matter now. What’s important is that I decided to seek help because I wanted to get better. For myself, for my parents, for my fans, and… for you. I can’t handle the thought of hurting the most important person in my life. Not again.” He laces his fingers with Brian’s, holding on tight. “And I promise, I’m getting there. I’ve been to four sessions so far and I think I can feel some progress already.”

Brian shifts his position, twisting his body so that he’s now laying on top of Jae with his chin resting on his hands against his boyfriend’s chest. “I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll be able to get through this, baby. You’re the strongest person I know. That’s one of the countless reasons why I love you.”

“I love you, too, Bri.” Jae bends down to place a kiss on Brian’s forehead.

“Did Susie suggest redecorating the apartment and taking care of plants?” The theater actor asks with a smile. This time, his fingers start playing with the collar of Jae’s shirt.

Jae laughs lightly, feeling a little shy as he says, “Oh, no. This was all me. I was trying to keep busy the past few days. Apparently, not having you around in the apartment to constantly annoy me is indescribably boring. A surprising revelation, I know. I was shocked too.”

Brian puts on a fake pout in mild protest.

Adored, Jae only lets out another melodious laugh as he reaches with both hands to pinch Brian’s cheeks.

“Love you, babe.” He repeats, staring deeply into Brian’s eyes.

Ever the competitive one between them, Brian replies, “Not as much as I love you.”

After a few minutes of them just quietly enjoying each other’s company, Jae decides that he’s been stalling for too long again. Lately, him and Susie have been working on getting him to open up a little easier and to stop thinking that his problems are a burden to other people. 

Clearing his throat to get his boyfriend’s attention, he starts, “Sungjin told you about the case being dropped, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Brian sighs heavily. “Is that it? I mean, can’t we talk to someone else? They can’t just drop it like that, right?”

“Actually, they can.” Jae informs him, recalling the last time he talked to the prosecutor and the officer assigned to the case. “They said that Axel’s words in the recording are not a definitive confession to committing an actual crime of harassment. They need witnesses and physical evidence otherwise it won’t hold much in court. And since the thing that happened five years ago wasn’t even mentioned, Axel’s _sexual preferences_ ” he accentuates the words to show his disgust, “are not enough for a probable cause. Not a single judge in the state of New York or California will ever sign a warrant that’s based merely on that. Especially when it’s such a high-profile case.”

“Oh, Jae…” Brian’s heart breaks for him. He can’t possibly fathom why the universe keeps hurting an angel as precious as Jae. He didn’t do anything to deserve this. No one does. And, he gets it, okay? He believes Jae is strong enough to handle anything and come out triumphant in the end but he still hates the way this is hurting his boyfriend all the same.

“And I almost forgot,” Jae adds, “the statute of limitations for sexual harassment in New York is only three years. Legally, there really isn’t anything we can do at this point.” He flashes him a sad smile, resignation and exhaustion clearly evident on his face.

“I’m here for you, Jae. Anything you need, just say it.” Brian’s voice sounds firm with determination.

The older actor’s eyes shine with fondness and gratitude. He starts carding his fingers through Brian’s hair as he says, “What I need is for you to stop worrying about me. I’m fine, I promise. Or at least, I will be. It’s enough for me that the truth is finally out to the public. From now on, they won’t be saying that I owe him my career. Or that I owe _anyone_ my career. That’s all I ever wanted to hear. I also heard that a lot of big production companies, sponsors, and talent labels are dissociating themselves with that director. Even the movie deal that he recently signed for dropped and replaced him immediately. I have to say I’m deeply satisfied with all of that.”

“At least he’s finally getting what he deserves. About fucking time.”

“Language, Mr. Kang.” Jae playfully chides.

In response, Brian just leans forward to kiss him again. In it, he tries to convey how proud he is of Jae and that he has Brian’s unwavering love and support all throughout this mess and beyond.

The way Jae kisses back, baring himself completely, sort of lets Brian know that his message is successfully received. 

“Wait, wait.” All too soon, the older actor pulls away. 

He doesn’t get too far though as Brian just chases after his lips.

“Bri, wait.” He tries again as the theater actor continues kissing all over his cheek. “I just remembered something.”

Brian finally holds himself back. “What is it?”

“I got the movie.”

It takes a few seconds for the words to register to Brian’s mildly distracted brain. But when they do, the emotions hit him at full force. He quickly sits back on his heels between Jae’s legs, suddenly feeling as if he can’t keep still.

“Jae!”

“Bri!” Jae parrots him, matching his rising excitement.

“Park Jaehyung!”

“Kang Younghyun!”

“ _Ohmygod!_ I’m so happy for you!” He grips the front of Jae’s shirt, pulling a little to ask him to sit up. And when he does, the theater actor wastes no time wrapping his arms around Jae. He’s practically shaking with happiness for the other.

“I can’t wait for you to kill it, baby.” He whispers against the skin of Jae’s neck, tightening his hold around him.

Chests pressed together, Brian feels the vibrations as the older actor informs him, “They’re trying to keep it under wraps right now because they’re still finalizing the rest of the cast. I got the news just two days ago when Cynthia Wilson called me herself. She apologized for misjudging me so easily and said that she’s impressed with how strong I’ve been, having kept this horrifying experience & suffering in silence for so long.”

“She _better_ be impressed.” Brian slightly leans back to look him in the eyes. “You’re the strongest person I know.” He repeats before showering Jae’s face with kisses.

Delighted, Jae just laughs some more before finally letting him have his way, returning his kisses with newfound enthusiasm.

  
  


Later that night, they decide to order-in their dinner because neither wanted to pull away from the warmth of their embrace, both too lazy to get up from the couch to start cooking. After bickering for a bit on the choice of the food—Jae wants pizza but Brian reminds him of his lactose-intolerance—the theater actor begrudgingly dialed Lombardi’s delivery as Jae promised to take meds beforehand.

Like always, they eat in the living room. They lost count of how many movies have been played since the late afternoon. Their attention weren’t exactly on the tv, especially not when their lips are busy doing something else.

As Brian is putting away the boxes into the trash can, he sees by the window above the kitchen sink that it’s gotten really dark outside. He completely lost track of time. 

He starts to feel nervous as he’s uncertain what he should do next.

 _Am I allowed to stay over? Or is this the perfect time for me to go back to my apartment now that dinner’s done?_ God, he really wants to stay but Jae hasn’t said anything about it yet. _Should I… ask him?_

His thoughts get interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing in the living room.

He sees that someone is calling Jae’s phone. However, the older actor is busy taking a shower. 

“Jae?” Brian knocks on the bathroom door.

“It’s unlocked.” He hears Jae’s muffled reply.

Twisting the doorknob, he pokes his head into the door frame to tell him, “Your phone’s ringing.”

“Can you see who it is, Bri? I’m almost done.” 

He goes back to the living room to check the caller ID.

He smiles a little when he reads, ‘ _Bob the manager_ ’ calling.

He steps deeper into the bathroom. “It’s Sungjin,” he says.

Behind the frosted glass sliding doors, he hears the sound of the water being turned off. Wordlessly, he picks up Jae’s towel from the rack to hand it to him along with the phone.

As the older actor steps out of the shower, he stands into Brian’s space, surprisingly close. 

Without sparing a single thought, just brought about by a sudden wave of fondness, Jae places a chaste kiss on his forehead before saying, “Thanks, babe” and wrapping his lower half with the offered towel.

Heat creeps up Brian’s face as he realizes how intimate this whole setup is. They’re both inside the bathroom with Jae completely naked underneath the towel. A few drops of water drips onto Brian’s shirt as well with how closely they’re standing. 

“No problem.” He mumbles quietly, suddenly feeling all shy and tingly. 

He tries to hide his blush by bowing his head. Except that when he does look down, his eyes zero in on the rough outline of Jae’s bulge. Blood rushing to his cheeks increased tenfold. 

Now he doesn’t know where to look. Since he’s still too flustered to meet Jae’s gaze, he settles on his broad chest. But the sight of his pert buds is just as distracting.

To prevent himself from doing anything too inappropriate, he steps back a little to put some distance between their bodies. He’s afraid that Jae might be able to hear the sound of his pounding heart up close.

(Of course, it didn’t cross his mind that it’s probably safer for him to leave the room altogether. Or maybe it did but he doesn’t want to do it. Either way, he stays with Jae inside the bathroom.)

In front of him, Jae feels a surge of satisfaction course through him as he watches Brian squirm where he stands, still actively averting his eyes.

 _How cute!_ He coos to himself.

The smirk doesn’t leave his face when he finally answers the call.

But he hasn’t even gotten a word in yet when Sungjin already beats him to it.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” His friend’s voice sounds unamused and a little worried.

 _Oh, shoot!_ Jae almost runs his palm over his face when he checks the time on his phone. It’s been exactly eight hours and five minutes since the last time he texted Sungjin and Wonpil.

On the background of the call, he hears the faint sound of keys being picked up followed quickly by a car door closing. 

“I’m sorry!” Jae rushes to tell him, afraid that Sungjin might actually be on his way to check up on him now. “I swear I just forgot. I’m perfectly fine, Sungjin. I just got distracted, I promise.”

“What is it?” Brian asks with a worried frown on his face.

Any sound of movement stills on the other end of the call as the manager prompts, “Is Brian there?”

“Yeah. He’s been with me the whole day.” Jae replies, feeling his muscles relax at the sound of Sungjin sighing in relief. A teasing smile finds its way on his lips as he gets an idea. “My hands were kind of busy doing something else other than texting.” He almost laughs out loud when he hears Sungjin let out a mildly scandalized gasp. “So… are we good now? I mean, you’re still welcome to come here and check up on me but I can’t promise to keep my hands to myself now that I have my boyfriend again by my side. You know how much I missed touching him…” His voice is dripping with not-so-innocent suggestions.

Brian’s cheeks are pretty much as red as can be at this point.

“Alright, alright! You’re forgiven.” Sungjin tells him, sounding slightly exasperated.

This time, Jae hears the sound of a door closing and Wonpil’s faint voice asking his husband, “I thought you’re going to Jae’s?”

“Change of plans.” Sungjin replies to the agent. Back to Jae, he says, “You could’ve just said Brian’s with you instead of painting me a disgusting image.” 

Jae barks out a delighted laugh as he imagines a shudder running down Sungjin’s spine. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Sungjin sighs for the last time as he says, “Just, say hi to Brian for me,” before disconnecting the call. 

Jae is still left chuckling at his friend’s antics.

“What was that about?” Brian asks, feigning a look of indifference as he ignores the rising heat in his belly caused by Jae’s insinuations.

 _We weren’t even doing anything! Stop being such a horny teenager._ The theater actor unknowingly scrunches his nose as he chastises himself.

Absolutely adored, Jae dives in to kiss the tip of Brian’s nose. His boyfriend’s surprised look—doe eyes, flushed cheeks, and head tilted to the side—is enough of a reward on its own. “Nothing. I was just telling Sungjin how much I missed you.”

Brian’s heart almost jumps out of his chest when Jae’s hands grab him by the hips, nudging gently. “Come on, babe. It’s getting late, let’s head to bed.”

And just like that, Brian’s earlier qualms about staying the night completely vanish just by those few words.

Jae really has a way of making him feel better. Whether he knows he’s doing it or not.

And like always, they sleep in the theater actor’s room. Brian melts at the feel of having Jae’s arms around him again. 

Contrary to Jae’s lewd words from earlier, they don’t do anything that night except cuddle. One would expect that Brian would feel just a tad disappointed given by how much he missed being with Jae intimately.

However, that isn’t the case at all. Because right now, as Brian feels Jae’s breaths against his nape start to even out, he finds that the innocent act of sleeping together is just as fulfilling and satisfying.

  
  
  


The next day, Brian is the first one to wake up. He takes advantage of this by admiring the peaceful sight laid out before him. He smiles at the beautiful mess that Jae’s hair has become. Reaching a hand, he gently brushes off the strands on his forehead. 

A single ray of sunlight peeking through the space between the curtains paints a thin line of color on the otherwise milky white skin of Jae’s cheek. Mesmerized, Brian traces it with his finger. He begins caressing the apple of his cheek in the softest way possible, as if he’s holding the most precious thing in the world. (And he kind of is. At least in _his_ world.) 

It’s like how you imagined running the tip of your finger on the outline of a cloud or like touching the feathered ends of an angel’s wings. He’s just so delicate and unbelievably real that Brian’s heart starts to feel full and close to bursting inside his chest. 

His lips are slightly parted, looking so plump and perfect. Brian wonders about the idea that Jae is almost like a walking paradox—he has the face of an angel but having the most sinful lips known to mankind. Perfectly crafted to make Brian surrender his entire being just to be touched by them.

Right now, he’s having a hard time trying to stop himself from capturing those lips. But he has to. He doesn’t want to wake Jae up just yet, the circles under his eyes let the theater actor know just how much he needs this. 

Brian’s eyes follow the delicate line of his jaw and down the length of his neck. He traces one of his shoulder blades with a finger, drawing a line all the way to his arm wrapped around the younger’s torso, the muscles completely relaxed under the fabric of his shirt. The steady rise and fall of his chest is so hypnotic that Brian finds himself placing his hand over Jae’s chest, right where he can feel his heart beating the strongest. 

Now that he’s asleep, Jae looks ethereally radiant. Angelic, even. The blanket of comfort provided by having Brian’s presence beside him again strips away all of that trauma and burden of reality from his face.

Brian really wouldn’t mind waking up to this for the rest of his life.

After quite some time, he finally pries his eyes away from his beautiful boyfriend. Very carefully, he extricates himself from the older’s grasp as he gets up to start cooking breakfast for two again.

Just when he’s about to place the strips of bacon from the pan and into the plates already half-filled with scrambled eggs, Jae walks into the kitchen. His eyes are still not all the way open as he scratches the back of his head, lips forming a tiny pout. He makes his way closer to Brian to watch what he’s cooking.

He catches the way Brian’s cheeks are puffed out in concentration with a tiny frown on his face. Jae is willing to bet a lot of money that Brian doesn’t even know he’s making such a cute expression right now. And the resulting proud smile that brings out his tiny dimples after he successfully fills the first plate is just too much for Jae to handle.

Letting out a groan of protest ( _Seriously, how is he this cute in the morning?!_ ), he wraps his arms around Brian from behind—a complete opposite of how they stood just yesterday—and proceeds to bury his nose on top of his boyfriend’s head.

“Good morning,” Jae greets, voice sounding raspy and oh-so-sexy that Brian finds himself having to concentrate harder on finishing his current task.

After carefully filling their plates with food, he pats Jae’s hands on his stomach. “Time to eat, baby.”

Releasing a happy sigh and causing a shiver to run down Brian’s spine, Jae steps away from him to bring their plates into the living room. The theater actor follows after him, carrying the utensils in one hand and balancing two glasses of orange juice in the other.

Brian wastes no time digging in as soon as they sit on the floor and eating from the coffee table. Jae fondly watches his boyfriend begin to scarf down the food, shaking his head at his enthusiasm. But he hasn't started eating just yet.

“Brian.”

The theater actor hums in response, round cheeks and mouth too full to utter a single word.

“Why are you still wearing yesterday’s clothes?” Jae asks him, a tiny frown on his face out of curiosity.

Brian tries to hide his surprise with how sudden Jae brought it up. He swallows the rest of the food and stalls a little by drinking almost half of the juice in one go. Jae just patiently waits for him to get to it. “Well… I didn’t bring an extra set with me. I wasn’t exactly expecting to have a sleepover when I left my apartment yesterday morning.”

“Just borrow some of mine.” Jae easily replies as if it’s the most obvious solution. And it probably is and Brian was just worrying too much. “And don’t worry, I’ll come with you back to your apartment to gather the rest of your things. I still don’t get why you only packed your clothes and left everything else in the guest room though.”

A bright smile slowly graces the theater actor’s lips. “Because I wanted to have a reason to come back. You know, I’d keep popping in and say, ‘Hey, I think I left my phone charger here’ or something.”

Jae laughs delightedly at his words. “Idiot.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is resourceful, Mr. Park.”

“Well then, Mr. Kang, don’t you and your cute resourceful butt have rehearsals today?”

Brian preens himself with the compliment. In between eating bites of food, he tells him, “Nope. They’re mostly finalizing a few things on stage like props and lighting for today and tomorrow. And since we’re already done with the rest, costume fittings, dress and tech rehearsals, I’m basically free for the next three days before the play.”

“So what time do you want us to go to your apartment?”

“Probably right after breakfast?” He checks to see if the older actor agrees. After Jae nods at him, he continues, “There’ll be less people in the streets to worry about since it’s still early.” He pauses, eyeing the full plate in front of his boyfriend. “Now eat so we can start bringing my things back here and I can officially move back in with you.”

Jae chuckles lightly before following his orders. 

But not before muttering a silent, “Whipped,” to tease him.

And instead of playing along, Brian easily accepts it. 

“Whoever said I wasn’t?”

Brian feels Jae give his thigh a gentle squeeze before leaning sideways to place a kiss on his shoulder. 

_You’re just as whipped as I am._ The theater actor thinks smugly to himself, noting the way Jae can’t seem to keep his hands to myself since yesterday. 

But Brian doesn’t blame him for being clingy. That would only make him a hypocrite.

Minutes later, he finds himself alone in Jae’s bedroom, naked, minus the older’s towel covering him from the waist down. After breakfast, he took a shower while Jae washed the dishes and cleaned the apartment.

Following his boyfriend’s words, he walks toward the closet door to look for something to wear. He opens the undergarments drawer first to grab black CK boxer shorts. He ignores the heat creeping up his neck as he’s putting it on. He should have been used to it by now. 

After dating for a month and a half, sleeping together on the bed almost every night, and having a reasonably active sex life, this is far from the first time they shared underwear. 

Like everything that happened between them, it naturally started when, after a night of lovemaking, Brian woke up at three in the morning feeling hungry. After he placed a kiss on Jae’s naked chest, he blindly picked up underwear among all of their discarded clothes on the floor. Because it was dark and he didn’t want to wake his boyfriend by turning on the lights, he didn’t realize that it was Jae’s boxers he had put on before proceeding to the kitchen. After a quick snack, he went to bed still wearing it. In the morning, he woke up to Jae’s kisses, whispering praises against his skin and telling Brian how much he loved seeing him in his clothes. And so starting then, Jae would sometimes borrow from Brian’s underwear drawer too.

But this here, right now? Wearing Jae’s boxers in broad daylight and outside the context of post-sex antics? 

Brian can’t hide how pleased he feels to be in this level of familiarity and intimacy with Jae. With a small smile on his face, he finishes getting dressed by putting on black fitted jeans and a black oversized shirt that says “Annyeonghello” on the front.

He specifically chose this shirt because it perfectly captures Jae’s sense of humor. 

After giving himself a once-over in front of the mirror, he exits the room to join his boyfriend already waiting for him in the living room.

“Ready to go?” He starts, startling Jae who’s sitting on the couch, busy scrolling through his phone. The older has changed into more appropriate clothing too, coincidentally matching with Brian by also wearing black from head to toe.

Noticing this, Brian can’t help but release a light chuckle. “We look like the least intimidating muggers to ever walk the streets of New York.”

Jae shrugs, coming over to open the front door. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You shouldn’t.” Brian jokes, following his boyfriend out of their apartment.

The sound of Jae’s bright laughter is the only response he gets before Jae grabs his hands and intertwines their fingers, pulling him along to the parking lot. 

  
  


“What the hell were you thinking?” Jae asks in between fits of laughter.

“What? I was almost three!” Brian responds a little defensively. 

They arrived at the theater actor’s apartment about an hour ago and Jae has been helpful enough in placing the last few of Brian’s things into boxes. For the most part. Or at least when he’s not being distracted by every little thing and trinket that he finds. 

Like right now, as they’re sitting on the floor, Jae’s busy flipping through a photo album full of cute photos of Brian as a toddler. The one in particular that he’s currently having a field day with is of a three-year-old Brian, wearing nothing but a shirt, sitting on the toilet. Except that his front is facing the toilet tank and a plate of sliced apples sit on top of that tank. Apparently, he didn’t want to stop eating his snacks while potty training so the ingenious three-year-old came up with the idea of sitting in that position to be able to do those two things at the same time. 

“It’s disgusting!” Jae almost doubles over from laughing too much.

“I’d like to call it being efficient. Innovative, even.” Brian responds, putting all of his shoes into a single box. 

Even though he’s already moving in with Jae, he’s not exactly moving out of his old apartment. They don’t touch any of the furniture, large picture frames, and basically anything they can’t carry all the way to their rental car. He’s only taking the things he needs on a daily basis because he’s not planning on selling the place. 

His parents visit him in New York quite often (almost three to four times a year) so he decided to let them have this place for themselves when they’re in the city. It will save them the trouble of finding and booking a hotel room every single time.

“Come on, Jae. Let’s get this over with so that we can go back in time for lunch.”

Of course, he’s thinking about food again.

Jae finally closes the album. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. But I’m definitely bringing all of these. Remind me to ask for more embarrassing pictures from your mom.”

“Hey, no fair. I still haven’t seen any of your baby pictures.” Brian pouts in complaint.

“Well then go ask for them from my mom.”

Both of them still their motions as soon as the words leave Jae’s lips.

“You know what, never mind.” Brian backtracks, thinking that he touched a sore topic. So he’s understandably a little surprised when he sees a tiny smile on Jae’s face.

“About that…”

“What is it?”

“I told them.” Jae says, meeting his eyes full-on. “Everything. About that director, our relationship, me seeing Susie, and about my new movie.”

“And what did they say?” Brian asks carefully.

Jae recalls their video call from two days ago. His smile is wider and lighter now as he shares, “They told me how much they love me and that they’re proud of me. They actually said a whole lot more as they were shocked at first but those two things are the ones I latched onto the most. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear those words from my parents until I actually heard them say it. They even made plans to fly in and come watch my new movie with us when it premieres in a few months. God, I was such an ugly crying mess after that. See, that’s probably another reason why I’m doing much better now. It felt incredibly freeing to finally tell them. Oh, and they said they can’t wait to meet you by the way.”

Brian’s heart reaches for him. He’s really feeling a lot of things at the moment—all of them incredibly good. He’s just so delighted to hear that Jae finally opened up to his parents after all this time. He can’t help remembering how relieved he felt as well when he told his parents about him overcoming depression.

“I’d say that’s such a big step in our relationship,” he starts, the tone of his voice thick with humor, “but I already introduced you to my parents even when we were still just two idiots ready to pine for each other in secret back then.”

“Nuh-uh,” Jae shakes his head. Feigning a grave look, he continues, “Definitely not me. I was the brave hero who boldly chose to put _my heart, my life, and my soul_ on the line for some idiot who thought that I didn't reciprocate his feelings.”

Brian bashfully laughs at that, reaching a hand to playfully smack his boyfriend on the arm. Chuckling lightly, he says, “Shut up.”

Jae quickly catches his hand, gently pulling him a little so that their faces are now just a few inches apart. 

He tells him in a challenging and slightly sultry voice, “Then make me,” before quickly deciding to just take the lead and crashing their lips together once more.

And Brian just lets him, lets the sensation wash over him as he sighs happily into the kiss. When he starts wanting more, he tilts his head ever-so-slightly to deepen it. He hears Jae release a slow breath, taking everything that his boyfriend offers. 

Brian pours all of his emotions into it. How proud he is of Jae, his promise to always be there by his side, and how much he treasures him, loving and accepting _all_ of him. 

And Jae drinks it all in, basking in the warmth of Brian and almost melting at how pliant he is under his touch. 

Every nip Brian makes on Jae’s lower lip is a whispered “I love you”, every gasp a silent praise, and every time his fingers bury themselves in Jae’s hair is another way of asking for them to get closer.

Brian mewls when he feels the tip of Jae’s tongue teasing his lips. He wastes no time letting him in and exploring his mouth as their tongues begin their dance. 

It’s wet, torrid, and getting hungrier by each passing second as Brian kisses him with so much passion. He almost whimpers out loud when Jae’s hands travel to his lower back, the tips of his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt before lifting it a little for more skin-to-skin contact.

His devotion for this guy overtakes his entire being as he starts to crawl over him. Jae’s back hits the wall as Brian sits on his lap, straddling his hips and holding him captive. 

With his back arched, he can feel the outline of Jae’s crotch right by the crevice of his ass. He feels a certain kind of fire ignite his insides at his boyfriend’s physical reaction just from their kissing alone. Emboldened by it, he starts to roll his hips to provide some friction on Jae’s straining bulge.

Jae pulls away from his lips, breathless and eliciting a moan. His large hands grab Brian by the hips to still his sinfully delicious gyrating before asking, “Bri, what are you doing?”

“Jae, I want to…” To prove his words, he rolls his hips some more, making sure to nudge his own growing erection against Jae’s lower abdomen.

Jae holds back another gasp. 

“Right here?”

“Why not?” Brian starts to dive in again, leaving open-mouthed kisses along Jae’s jawline before lips find refuge on the sensitive spot right below his ear. “This is the last time I’ll live in this house. Might as well do something to commemorate it.”

Jae’s heart jumps in his chest as he feels Brian run the tips of his teeth on the side of his neck, sucking and biting all over. 

He moans as Brian continues grinding on him. “Bri, _oh god._ Okay, okay, wait.”

Brian hums, the satisfaction heavy on the tone as he kisses Jae’s collarbones, whispering against his skin, “Where do you want me, baby?”

Jae wills his brain to focus as he says, “There. Couch. Now.”

Brian has the audacity to let out a low chuckle at him before giving him another kiss. He makes a move to get off Jae and as he towers over the older actor, he reaches down to tug the drawstrings on his hoodie, pulling him along. 

_Such a fucking tease._ Jae’s arousal only intensifies as Brian lays down on the couch, already with his legs spread wide. 

Jae marvels at the sight before him. Brian with his hair splayed out, blown eyes looking at him with desire and devotion, cheeks flushed, and kiss-swollen lips.

“ _Jae..._ ” Brian mewls in the hottest, desperate, and most drawn out way he ever said his boyfriend’s name. The sound of it goes straight to Jae’s dick as Brian reaches out his hands to pull him closer.

He makes a quick work of his jeans, getting it off of him before climbing on top of Brian. The younger actor gasps out loud as he feels the prominent tent on Jae’s boxers deliciously rubbing against his hard-on. 

“These off, please…” Brian breathes out as he guides Jae’s hands to the button of his jeans. Jae obediently and quite eagerly does as he’s told, removing their underwear along the process.

Gasps and moans echo throughout the apartment as Jae starts to prepare Brian. 

The theater actor savors the feeling of being penetrated by Jae’s fingers on his hole and his tongue on his mouth as Jae swallows every sound that comes out of him.

Jae commits every desperate whine, every curse shouted out of pleasure, and every variation of the word “ _please_ ” to memory, using them as a motivation to keep going faster, deeper and harder. It’s the most he’s heard of Brian breathe out the word “ _fuck_ ” over and over.

Brian wraps his legs around Jae’s hips, using his heels to pull him closer and never letting go. His fists grip Jae’s hair, holding him where he wants him as they continue devouring each other’s mouths through all of it. When the need to breathe gets to be unbearable, he whimpers softly as Jae starts to leave a trail of kisses on his neck. But it’s only when he reaches Brian’s upper chest, right below his collarbones to keep them hidden, does he start to leave bruises liberally. 

And it’s only when Jae wraps a hand around Brian’s aching shaft, pumping it in time with his frantic thrusts, that Brian finally spills over the edge, sticky white liquid getting on their stomachs. Wave after wave of pleasure spreads through him as Jae milks him through his orgasm until he too empties himself inside the younger, releasing a low groan before collapsing against him.

Needless to say, they took a longer time getting back home after packing Brian’s things.

  
  


***

  
  


**_Breaking news! Award-winning director Axel Greenfield got called in by the NYPD for an interrogation earlier this evening!_ **

_Another famous Hollywood actor, Michael Hall, comes forward accusing Axel Greenfield of sexual assault. This is the third time the public has come to know about the director’s alleged victims._

_We have Jae Park who released an audio recording that exposes the director of having incredibly problematic sexual preferences and even threatening to ruin Park’s current boyfriend’s career because the Hollywood actor refused his advances five years ago._

_A few days after that, famous runway model Paul Quinn posted on his Instagram a handful of screenshots of Greenfield promising to get his connections in the fashion industry to blacklist Quinn if he still refuses to go on a date with him._

_And lastly (or not, as there might be more victims that we don’t know of), just this morning, Hall’s team released an official statement stating that they have filed a lawsuit against the director on grounds of sexual assault. The actor shared that he felt encouraged by Jae Park’s strength in handling his own traumatic experience that’s why he finally decided to seek justice for himself. Hall’s representative remains tight-lipped about the details of the assault other than that they have a strong and unshakeable case against the director._

_However, rumors started quickly circulating that Greenfield might have slipped Rohypnol in Hall’s drink based on an Instagram post (which is now deleted) in the director’s account posted six months ago during a party at his ten-million-dollar house in Manhattan. In the photo, Greenfield and Hall are standing closely together and having a good time. A netizen wisely pointed out how Hall’s glass of champagne is bubbling unnaturally as compared to the one the director was holding. For those who do not know, Rohypnol is a date drug most commonly known as a roofie._

_Whether it may be true or not, one thing is for sure: Greenfield won’t be directing movies any time soon as he’s reportedly facing two felonies, a sexual assault case and a blackmailing case._

_Serves him right, don’t you think?_

Jae is speechless.

This is most definitely one of the greatest news he’s ever heard. Did the universe finally decide that he’s suffered enough and now they’re choosing to reward him left and right for being able to pull through? He would love to think that that’s the case.

He’s currently sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone while waiting for Brian to get back from the grocery store. 

After they got home from the theater actor’s apartment yesterday, it became more apparent to them that their food supply is getting low. However, since they got back around late afternoon after being distracted from packing and getting more than a little frisky with each other in Brian’s old home, they decided to just do the grocery run the next day and called McDonald's delivery for dinner.

Jae really didn’t plan on doing anything besides playing PUBG Mobile while he waited. But unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), he forgot to turn off all of his notifications for the time being. So when he saw a message alert from Wonpil drop down from the top of the screen, he couldn’t stop himself from reading the text.

And this is where it led him. 

Staring at his phone, completely speechless.

He wants to say that he doesn’t know what he’s currently feeling, too many emotions battling it out inside of him. Except that isn’t true at all.

Because the one emotion that took over him is just pure and utter relief.

It’s like he’s been liberated. Or that he’s finally taken a breath of fresh air after being confined in a tiny space for so long. He almost feels lightheaded with it.

When they first told him that they’re not going to pursue the case, he felt that his heart was crushed to pieces. 

But there was actually a huge part of him that expected that outcome. He really wanted to take that director down but he realized that he can’t entrust his healing on something as fickle as revenge. If he wants to put all of this behind him _for good_ , he needs to focus on his own well-being. And so the next day, he told Susie all about it.

As he reread the whole article for the second time, he forgot all about the pain that he felt when they dropped his case. Even though his own testimony isn’t the thing that will hopefully put that director behind bars, it’s enough for him to know that his own traumatic experience is what inspired and gave strength for others to come forward. 

A huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders from all the things that’s been happening with his life recently; the public has stopped discrediting him now that he can prove he’s more than a one-dimensional actor with this new movie, he’s making so much progress with therapy that he’s starting to get close to his parents again, and he’s finally found himself in a beautiful and loving relationship,

He’s optimistic that things will continue to get better after this. Especially when he has someone by his side, constantly supporting him through all of it.

“Baby, I’m home.” Brian says from the door. “Why are you smiling like that?”

Jae had been so preoccupied with the article that he didn’t notice the theater actor was already standing there.

He looks up to see his boyfriend flashing him an amused grin while trying to balance the grocery bags in his arms.

Jae closes the article and puts away his phone to help carry the rest of the bags from him.

“My mom’s still not done sending you pictures?” Brian guesses. 

Which is fair, considering that he came home to find Jae smiling at his phone. He hasn’t done that lately as he’s mostly avoided his phone to distance himself from all the media attention.

“Maybe…” Jae vaguely replies before giving him a kiss on the cheek as a greeting. 

The older actor has decided to tell him about the article when they’re in bed later in the night. 

_You know, like a good bedtime story._

No, but seriously, he just wants to spend all of his energy making up for lost time with his boyfriend. Those two weeks he spent trying to rebuild himself might have been completely rewarding but they sure felt like an eternity when he didn’t have Brian to lay in bed with every single night. 

He just doesn’t want to disrupt any more of their life at home with talking about this. Since he’s already accepted it and is currently learning to move on, he’s fine in letting everything run its course. 

Other things can wait.

Right now, he’s going to help Brian put away the groceries that he bought for them as the sweet, loving, and ever thoughtful boyfriend that he is. You can say that Jae has been feeling a little lovestruck and sappy lately.

_Don’t look at me like that, blame Brian._

After giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek, Jae asks teasingly, “Why did you buy so many?”

Brian brough home five eco bags full of food. It’s a miracle he was able to carry all of it.

“I found new recipes I wanted to try.” His boyfriend informs him, following him to the kitchen to start storing them in the fridge, cabinets, and the pantry.

“Oh,” Brian starts, sounding excited about something, “I also bought this!”

He digs into one of the bags to retrieve a small box, presenting it to Jae with a flourish.

“Another puzzle?” The older actor walks toward him to take a closer look at the display.

Brian hands it to him. “Yup. When I saw the picture, I remembered how much you admired the actual one when we were at the Met two months ago.” 

The thousand-piece puzzle captures the calming feel of the “Bridge over a Pond of Water Lilies” painting. He can’t wait for them to put it together and complete the whole picture.

Brian continues, “Since you’ve indulged me with putting together the Avengers one, I wanted you to have this too. Then we’ll hang it in our room over the bed.”

Warmth spreads through Jae’s chest at the words. He loves hearing Brian call it _their_ room. Kind of like how just a few minutes ago, after coming back from the grocery store, Brian called Jae’s apartment as his home.

“I love you.” Jae tells him before giving him the sweetest and softest kiss possible. He cups Brian’s cheeks delicately, pulling him closer. In response, Brian breathes him in, responding just as tenderly, trying not to melt too much under the touch. 

After pulling away, a bright smile finds its way on Brian’s face. 

“What was that for?” He asks his boyfriend.

Jae simply shrugs, matching the smile as he starts to tease, “I felt like you needed it.”

He moves away, laughing delightedly, just in time to avoid Brian’s arm about to smack him on the shoulders. 

“Jerk.” The theater actor retorts, his eyes shining with absolute fondness as Jae continues to laugh freely at his playful but betrayed expression. “No more kisses for you for the rest of the day.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it as well though.” Smug, Jae counters back as he returns to putting the rest of the things away.

Brian takes advantage of him being distracted by stealing a kiss on the side of his neck before pinching one of his butt cheeks.

Jae lets out a surprised yelp, blindly reaching to trap Brian in his arms in retaliation but his hands come up short. 

Brian is already on the other side of the island, laughing at him. 

“You missed me, baby.” He teases, mouth forming an exaggerated pout.

Jae puts on a determined face. “Oh, it’s on.” He replies before making a quick dash to try to capture Brian.

And so the rest of the day was spent by them competing to see who could steal the most kisses.

Jae won by a considerable amount. 

But it’s only because Brian secretly let him win. 

Don’t tell Jae but Brian actually loves it whenever his boyfriend kisses him on the cheek. Jae just loves to tease him playfully nipping the skin because of how puffy they are. 

Of course, Brian got in a few good kisses too. He focused his attention mostly on those full, sexy lips. Oh, and Jae’s collarbones. Those two are his favorite targets.

Unbeknownst to him as well, but that was the only reason why Jae changed his shirt into one that has a wider neckline some time during the late afternoon.

Yes, they’re both petty that way.

And also whipped. 

Definitely too whipped for each other to care.

  
  
  


Brian can’t stay still. 

There are only a few minutes left before the play starts and he’s both nervous and excited. Well, he’s actually more excited than anything. Performing is his life, he’s worked so hard for this role and now it’s time for him to deliver.

He takes another peek from a thin slat on the thick curtains to see that the seats are completely full. About a few rows from the orchestra, he sees Anna and Susie chatting animatedly. Gratitude floods his chest in seeing them. Since his parents will be visiting in a couple of months, they already bought tickets for the final show. He’s just so thankful to be surrounded by such a supportive family. 

His eyes then land on the empty chair by the front row, Jae’s supposed seat right between Wonpil and Dowoon.

He left his boyfriend inside one of the tech rooms, waiting for the play to start.

Brian kept telling him that he doesn’t need to do that, but Jae insisted.

Because the collective eye of the media is still trained on Jae lately, he didn’t want to cause a scene by drawing attention to himself inside the theater. He wants the audience to solely celebrate Brian tonight. Not just because he’s dating the Broadway star but because he knows that Brian’s talents will render them speechless. Jae wants everyone’s focus to be on Brian and only as he kills it out there onstage.

That’s why Jae is waiting for the tech guys to signal him that they’re about to dim the lights. Only then, he’ll take his seat to avoid being seen by the audience too much.

Almost as if on cue, Brian sees a tall, gorgeous man making his way to the front row. Jae’s wearing a form-fitting navy blue velvet suit and a black turtleneck underneath. Black slacks highlight the length of his legs and making his sharp dress shoes pop out. His dark hair is slightly parted at the front with a few strands beautifully falling to frame his forehead. He looks so fine and dashing it’s almost like he just walked right out of a princess movie and he’s the rogue prince charming.

After greeting Jessica, Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon, his gaze lands on Brian’s direction behind the curtains, looking for him right before the lights go down.

Brian steps away from the curtains as he returns to his position on the right wing. A few spaces to his left, he can hear the floor director making sure that everything and everyone is where they should be before signaling to the conductor on the pit orchestra to start counting down from five.

As the first of the strings play a pleasant tune followed by the curtain being drawn, Brian takes a deep breath before walking onto the stage.

Jae is practically mesmerized. Even though he’s already read the script a few times—one of the many privileges of dating a famous Broadway performer—he’s still undoubtedly captivated. 

He finds himself hooked to every scene; every note in each song pierces through his heart, and every line leaves a lasting impression. 

He remembered how, as a kid, he was so into watching musicals and this here right now just rekindled that fascination inside of him. Every single one of the cast members are incredibly talented. They complement each other. 

And Brian? 

He basically shines up there.

This is the first time he’s watched Brian perform on a real theater stage. And Jae couldn’t be prouder and happier.

The way he commands himself leaves Jae in awe. His strong and confident gait during his solo performance catches the audience’s attention in a way that he wouldn’t let go. Every time he’s included in a scene, Jae’s heart almost jumps right out of his chest.

Christian and Satine’s duet while affirming their love is such a powerful one that Jae is practically gripping the edge of his seat.

He’s so into the play that he only realizes they’re nearing the end already when Satine starts to succumb to her illness. 

A few tears fall from his eyes as Brian—Christian—mourns the love of his life. 

And when Christian says the most famous line from the original version of the play, Jae swears Brian met his eyes when he uttered the words, “‘The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.’”

He ignores the teasing looks Sungjin, Wonpil, and Dowoon threw his way after that. Jessica just had on a knowing smile the whole time.

And so during roll call, as the entire theater gives standing ovations to each of the main cast, Jae cheers the loudest as his boyfriend takes a final bow centerstage under the spotlight. 

He looks so comically happy and proud that Dowoon couldn’t stop himself from filming Jae’s reactions with his phone; capturing his friend looking so impossibly whipped and hopelessly in love.

You know, for friendly blackmailing purposes.

After the show, the four of them waited for the majority of the audience to vacate their seats before proceeding to look for Brian backstage. Jessica had to leave immediately as well because her sitter needed to leave early tonight.

At some point while waiting though, Jae introduced Susie and Anna to Wonpil and Sungjin. Susie threw in a funny remark of how it might be a conflict of interest having her nephew be close friends with her previous and current clients. 

“You actually owe me, aunt Susie.” Dowoon retorted jokingly. “If it weren’t for me giving your contact details to Jae, you won’t be having a famous actor for a client.”

“You brat.” Susie replied with a laugh. “I was thinking of putting you to the morning shift at the bar but I changed my mind. There, that’s your reward.” She finished, ruffling Dowoon’s hair.

See, this is why Jae was able to form a friendship with the therapist outside their sessions, she shares his dry and savage humor. 

As Anna and Susie say their goodbyes to the four of them, asking to relay their congratulations to Brian, Jae finally leads the other three backstage.

Getting access to the space is another one of Jae’s boyfriend-of-the-main-star privileges. He won’t deny that he feels somewhat smug about it.

The space is still mostly busy even after the play ended about thirty minutes ago. Most of the theater crew recognized Jae, trying to start a conversation with him or asking for a picture so it took a few minutes more for them to locate his boyfriend.

Following the directions Brian texted Jae, they’re able to easily get to the Broadway star’s own dressing room.

Once inside, they see that the theater actor has already changed out of his costume but is still wearing makeup which, now that Jae can see up close, accentuates the intensity of Brian’s eyes. He’s now wearing a yellow hoodie that he took from Jae’s closet earlier in the day.

Seeing the four of them enter the room, he quickly gets up from the makeup chair to rush over to them. 

“So,” he starts, a little eager, “how was it?”

As soon as the question leaves his mouth, Dowoon, Wonpil, and Sungjin begin spewing out praises for Brian that their words can’t be heard over each other. Jae and Brian fondly chuckle at them, with the couple sharing an amused look, before Jae decides to cut in.

Raising his voice a little, he says, “I think what they’re trying to say is,” the other three finally quiet down, “it was amazing, Bri. _You_ were amazing.”

Sungjin adds, “You did great.”

“I cried at one point.” Wonpil shares.

“I don’t know about the other guys,” Dowoon tells Brian, his face adopting a satisfied look, “but I have a gift for you, bro.”

He pulls out his phone to show the theater actor the video recording of an embarrassingly sappy and lovestruck Jae as he watches Brian receive love from the entire audience.

“Aww, I love this, Dowoon!” Brian coos, holding a hand to his chest and feeling completely full of adoration as he watches Jae wipe a tear from his cheek. “Can you send me this?”

Curious, the other three crane their necks to try to see what it is about.

“Dowoon!” Jae looks mildly offended as Sungjin and Wonpil start coughing the word “whipped” into their fists, teasing him.

He narrows his eyes at the bartender, joking, “I’m starting to miss the days when you’re still shy around me.”

“Sure. Then I’ll stop giving you the friends-and-family discount at the bar.” Dowoon smugly replies, chuckling a little because of Jae’s exaggerated expressions. “Since, you know, I’m too shy to call you my friend.”

“Touché, kid.” Jae concedes. “Touché.”

Brian starts clapping slowly, feigning an impressed look. “Wow, Dowoon. I’ve never seen someone easily shoot down Mr. Jae “Self Proclaimed Witty Man” Park over here. Good job.”

Jae pouts at him. “You’re supposed to take my side.”

“Sorry, baby. Just telling the truth.”

“You’ve wounded my ego, Bri. Deeply. I’m afraid I’m not going to give you your gift tonight anymore.” Jae tells him with a huff.

Brian’s eyes widen a fraction. “You got me a gift? What is it?”

“Can’t tell you. Too bad, I was even looking forward to _rewarding_ you tonight.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at that, his tone thick with heavily implied innuendos.

“No, no, no,” Brian replies quickly. “I’m sorry, baby. I promise I’ll be good.” For good measure, he siddles up to Jae’s side, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and giving him a pleading look.

Absolutely adored, Jae doesn’t stop himself from leaning down to kiss that tiny pout away.

Sungjin groans out loud. “Oh god, they’re being disgusting again.”

Wonpil adds, “Yeah, don’t forget that we’re still here, guys.”

Dowoon snorts at the married couple. “Oh please. You’re no better. You two couldn’t keep your hands to yourselves on the drive here too. It’s like you didn’t even know or care that I was in the backseat.”

Jae and Brian start laughing. A blush is quickly making its way on Sungjin’s face while Wonpil just wears a proud smile, clearly having no plans of denying the bartender’s words.

“You’re just as bad as we are!” Brian quips in between fits of laughter.

“Nah, you two are still worse.” Dowoon savagely disagrees.

He really is his aunt’s nephew.

“Are we going to keep bickering all night? I’m getting kinda hungry.” Jae says, trying to divert the attention away from their relationship.

Fortunately, Dowoon decides to show them mercy by playing along, “Yeah, Bri, don’t forget that you promised to treat us tonight.”

Brian groans a little before bending down to grab his backpack, “I might go broke after this.” 

They all start to exit the dressing room, finding that the backstage is mostly calmer now with lesser crew still walking around.

Sungjin snorts, “As if. Jae revealed to us how much you got paid for this role.”

Wonpil adds, “Oh yeah, and that still doesn’t include your cut from the ticket sales.”

Now Brian’s the one giving Jae a betrayed look, puffed cheeks and lips forming a tiny pout, “You told them?”

“By accident, I swear!” Jae raises his hands in front of him in self-defense. 

Brian just pouts some more and adorably scrunching his nose; an expression that he knows Jae really loves.

Of course, it works like a charm because Jae can’t stop himself from leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose.

“Keep it PG, love birds.” Sungjin reminds them as they’re about to exit the premises.

As they finally step out onto the streets, Jae can’t help noticing that this is gonna be his life now. It’s such a far cry from how it was almost four months ago. And as he hears the light bickering from Sungjin and Wonpil, and the constant banter between Dowoon and Brian, Jae thinks that he sure as hell can definitely get used to this.

Brian looks back to him. He sees his boyfriend lagging behind so he leaves his place beside Dowoon to offer Jae his hand. 

“What are you smiling about?” He asks him, bringing their intertwined hands to his lips to place a kiss on the back of Jae’s.

“I just…” Jae starts, his smile turning bashful as he continues, “I’m happy.”

Brian searches his eyes. But he too unknowingly mirrors the blissful expression on Jae’s face. 

“You’re such a sap.” He teases, bumping his shoulder against the other.

“I know.” Jae easily accepts, gladly following the other three to whatever restaurant of their choosing.

As their laughs ring out into the quiet night, he can’t help thinking just how simple, calm, and perfect his life is right now. 

And that he surely won’t have it any other way. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Four months later.

  
  
  


**_This week on Hollywood news!_ **

_Take a look at these behind the scenes pictures on the set of “Tethered” starring Jae Park and Avery Paxton! As most of the scenes in the story take place in Europe, the entire cast and crew have been filming for the past three months in the beautiful town of Hallstatt, Austria._

_In the first picture, Jae seems to enjoy looking at the scenery as he stands in front of the majestic lake sitting at the foot of the towering Dachstein mountains. Although if we’re being honest, we’re not sure where to focus more, on the beautiful view or on Jae’s handsome and delicate features._

_In the second picture, Jae and Avery look like they’re having a lot of fun during breaks by playing cards in one of their trailer trucks. We have no doubt that this friendship of theirs will translate into a brilliant chemistry on the big screen._

_In the third picture, Jae pays a visit to a grand church that dates back to the 12th century, making the town as one of the UNESCO World Heritage sites. Seeing Jae standing in front of the altar, looking so serene and peaceful, if you told us that he’s an angel masquerading as a beautiful human, we would easily believe you. Or better yet, we can also imagine him standing there while he waits for his boyfriend, Brian Kang, to walk down the aisle. Either way, both scenarios sound perfect for us._

_But back to the matter of the movie (enough fangirling, Jaebri stans!), it’s about a guy trying to get over the death of his girlfriend by finally going on a backpacking trip around Europe. However, in every beautiful sight he comes across and during every rush of adrenaline that courses through him, he sees glimpses of his girlfriend still standing with him. Driven by the need to keep seeing her, he goes to seek out the most beautiful views and experience dangerous activities while chasing the height of the sensation. Will he be able to move on and find a new life for himself? Or, will he keep holding on to her and reliving their old memories over and over until he’s no longer tethered to reality?_

_Keep tuning in for more updates about Jae, Avery, and the progress of the movie as it’s set to hit the theaters early winter next year!_

  
  
  


The sound of his phone alerting him of a new message distracts Brian from reading the article. After seeing who it’s from, a bright smile quickly graces his lips as he reads what his boyfriend sent him.

**_jae baby:_ **

_babe, we just landed_

**_bribri:_ **

_I’m right here!!!_

_I got here at the airport an hour ago!!_

_Ohmygod Jae I can’t wait to finally hold you again_

_Last night, i couldn’t sleep out of excitement because I get to kiss you for real and not just through a screen_

_I missed you SO MUCH_

**_jae baby:_ **

_i missed you too, bribri :(_

_god, i can’t wait to lick your face_

**_bribri:_ **

_Jae_

_We were having a sweet moment_

**_jae baby:_ **

_oh_

_sorry!_

_*i can’t wait to lick your face in a sweet way_

_there._

_happy?_

**_bribri:_ **

_God, you’re such a dork_

_I love you_

**_jae baby:_ **

_love u too!_

🥺🥺🥺

**_bribri:_ **

_now stop texting and being cute so you can get over here quickly!_

  
  


Brian keeps bouncing on the balls of his feet. The first of the passengers from Jae’s flight have started walking past the arrivals gate and reuniting with their loved ones. Any second now and his boyfriend will be one of them.

It’s been almost thirty minutes since their last text message and he figures Jae is still getting held up at baggage claim. His hands keep clenching and unclenching, too eager to finally touch him. Being apart for almost four months is no joke. That’s like half of the time they’ve been together. 

Fortunately, they were able to make the long distance thing work. Those long minutes (or maybe even more than an hour if they’re lucky) they spent talking through the screen of a computer were always the highlight of their day. 

They also messaged each other online non-stop. It was probably the most he’s used his phone in his entire life. 

The happy sounds of people reuniting makes Brian all the more antsy and impatient. He just wants to have a heartful reunion with his boyfriend too.

The universe must’ve acknowledged his pleas because almost as if on cue, he hears someone call out to him, “Brian!” 

Jae’s voice is so loud that a few heads turn his way, surprised. Neither of them pay anyone else attention as they start running towards each other.

They meet halfway, almost tackling the other into a bone-crushing hug. Brian breathes him in, the familiar scent of his boyfriend is so soothing that he buries his head on the crook of Jae’s neck as he tightens his grip on him. 

Jae’s bags are scattered on the floor all around them, forgotten, as he starts kissing the top of Brian’s head. He just can’t get enough of him. And for good measure, he even wraps a leg around Brian’s hips, completely clinging to him.

He feels his boyfriend start laughing against his chest because of it.

“We’re in public, Jae.”

“Let them watch, I don’t care.” Jae slightly pulls away to look at Brian. “I missed you so much.” 

Brian’s eyes start to shine. “I missed you, too, baby.”

“Can I please lick your face now?”

He lets out a delighted laugh, tears starting to cloud his vision as he feels love and devotion completely spreading through him. Instead of giving an answer, he quickly leans in to capture Jae’s lips.

 _Finally…_ Brian sighs in relief.

They breathe each other in, indescribably happy to be reunited. 

Jae’s hand tightened on Brian’s nape, pulling him closer. And Brian grips the front of Jae’s shirt, one of his hands laying to rest right over Jae’s heart and feeling the fast beating of his heart match his own.

They start to attract attention from the people around them. But they either don’t care or don’t even notice as their eyes only see the other. 

Pulling away, Jae rests their foreheads together. He reaches a hand to wipe the few tears that dared leave a trail down Brian’s cheeks. 

“Why are you crying, babe?” His thumb continues caressing the side of Brian’s face.

The younger actor nuzzles their noses together, absolutely endeared, before saying, “I’m just so happy you’re back home. I love you, Jae. _So damn much_.”

Gazing into Brian’s eyes and seeing nothing but warmth and love in them, he gives him a kiss on the forehead. 

“I love you,” he whispers against his skin. 

“I love you,” he kisses over his eyelids. 

“I love you,” he kisses the tip of his nose. He finds himself melting at the adorable scrunch resulting from it.

And finally, he finds Brian’s mouth again to whisper against his lips, “I love you, Brian. _You’re my home._ ”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**_Architectural Home Weekly Update!_ **

_Famous Hollywood actor Jae Park just sold his house in downtown Los Angeles. After living in his NYC apartment for a little over a year now, the “Tethered” actor decided to let go of his first ever home in the US. It’s rumored that he is now planning an upgrade as he is reportedly looking at new houses in upstate New York with his boyfriend, Broadway star Brian Kang._

**_Breaking News!_ **

_After months of grueling battle in court, the jury finally finds Axel Greenfield guilty of two counts of felony on grounds of sexual assault and blackmail. The director has been sentenced to the absolute maximum penalty of seven years under the state of New York with an undisclosed fine for emotional damages._

_Right after the sentencing, famous actor Michael Hall gives a short but powerful message to all who suffered and are suffering from sexual abuse. “We are more than victims, we are survivors. Don’t be ashamed of your story for it will inspire others to speak up. You deserve justice and peace.”_

  
  


***

  
  


**_Holiday celebrity sightings!_ **

_Jae Park and Brian Kang chose to spend their Christmas vacation with the Hollywood actor’s parents in South Korea! In this cute_ _post_ _from Brian’s Instagram account, we can clearly see Mrs. Park doting over the Broadway star while her own son sulks in the corner of the frame. The photo is captioned with a simple, “They love me more than Jae now.”_

 _The poor Hollywood actor sends in a comment under it, saying, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I can’t hear you over your parents constantly calling me their son._ 😎 _"_

_Needless to say, the fans are freaking out._

  
  


**@JaePark** tweeted:

So, I just heard the news… ‘Tethered’ breaks box office records in just two days?! You guys are incredible. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. 

**@briankang** replied:

YOU are incredible, **@JaePark**

 **@JaePark** : are you proud of me, bribri?

 **@briankang** : very 😉😘

**@jaekangbrianpark** : OMGAHSDFAJ #jaebristopflirtingonsocialmedia 

**@parkjaehyungie** : #jaebristopflirtingonsocialmedia challenge: FAILED

 **@parkingjae** : jaebri married!!! imma frame this on my wall!!! 😍😍😍 #jaebristopflirtingonsocialmedia

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I wanted to have Jae’s own words and testimony put that director behind bars, like I said, I wanted to be realistic with it. Sadly not a lot of sexual harassment survivors get justice even today. I wanted to incorporate that upsetting reality in Jae’s experience. Though, of course, I still gave that plot point a silver lining (more than that actually) with the other survivors feeling encouraged and brave enough to speak up.
> 
> Anyways, we have gone full circle with that legendary airport scene! Lol  
> Man, this fic has been such a fun ride, I'm genuinely sad it's over now :( honestly, i even considered prolonging this by waiting until the 25th (my birthday!!) to post the final chapter but ultimately, i decided against it haha I sure am gonna miss Hollywood actor Jae Park and Broadway star Brian Kang 😫😭  
> But hey! Good news, I'm planning to release a few one-shots soon so please anticipate it!
> 
> Come cry with me in the comments!
> 
> \- Maggie <3


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